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Sieg and Marien Part 4 - Dreams

A long cobbled path led from the outskirts of Basikal city to a large stone fortress sitting atop a hill. Long banners bearing the Basitin coat of arms, as well as the heraldry of General Braxsis, billowed in the early morning breeze. Rows upon rows of fruit trees surrounded the western outer wall of the fortress, while the south and east walls were surrounded by rows of pale canvas tents. Working replicas of a variety of siege weapons dotted the surrounding landscape.

Marien walked hand in hand alongside her mother. Her ears twitched as she caught the sounds of shouting, and the ring of steel coming from within the fortress.

"Come on," her mother urged, gently tugging Marien's arm as she paused to examine a small frog hopping in the grass. "We're almost there."

Marien frowned as she looked back at her mother, a tall, noble basitin warrior that towered over her. Her short brown hair stuck out underneath her helmet, like the petals of a bell flower. Her sandy brown fur was neatly brushed and her soft, almond shaped eyes were the colour of honey. Around her neck was a small pendant she always wore, a small tropical flower carved from wood with red and blue petals and a glistening ivory pearl in the center.

"I don't wanna go there," Marien said, pulling on her mother's arm and trying to walk back towards the city.

Her mother held her hand gently, yet firmly, "This is just training, sweety, it will be exciting.

"I want to go home."

"I thought you said you wanted to know how to fight."

"I don't want to anymore," Marien sniffed, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"But you're going to make so many new friends and learn so many things."

Marien tried to pull her hand free from her mothers grip, "I don't want to go!"

With a warm smile, Marien's mother knelt down in front of her. After a few moments Marien stopped struggling, sniffing loudly as tears ran down her face. Her mother reached up to gently brush strands of hair out of her eyes, "You'll be fine."

"They're going to make fun of me."

"Who?"

"All of the others. They say I look ugly." Marien looked away from her mother, her lip still trembling, "I wish I wasn't western."

Marien's mother reached up and gently guided Marien's chin so that she could meet her gaze, "Listen to me, my little sunset. You are not ugly. You are beautiful, inside and out. I understand it seems scary right now, but someday you will have a little one of your own, something so precious that you would climb mountains, swim across seas, and fight gods to protect them."

Marien felt a flush of warmth run through her as her mother gently stroked her ears, "This is a dangerous world, little one, and it is more dangerous for you than it is for others. You are going to have to be strong, stronger than everyone else. It will be hard sometimes, but I know you can do it."

"It's not fair."

"No, it isn't fair, but what matters is how we use what we are given. You have your grandmother's eyes, and my heart. Well, that, and you have my ears," she joked, gently pulling on the tufts at the end of Marien's ears.

"What about my father?"

Marien's mother paused, "You..." After a moment she reached out and cupped her hands around Marien's face, "You have his spirit. I would never want you to be anything other than who you are. It has made you strong, and you will only get stronger."

Marien looked at the ground and sniffed, "I guess so..."

"It will be alright. I'll be right there with you." Reaching up, Marien's mother gently removed her pendant and draped it over Marien's neck. "I'll always be there to protect you, my little sunset."

"Okay." Marien said, rubbing the tears from her eyes.

"Ready?"

Marien nodded, and her mother took her hand again. Together they again began walking towards the fortress.

As she and her mother made their way towards the fortress, Marien noticed another young Basitin and his parents making the same journey. As the boy looked around, he caught sight of Marien. With a wide smile he waved at her.

Marien looked up at her mother, who smiled encouragingly. Nervously, Marien raised her hand and waved back.

===

"Mother..."

===

Marien's nose was filled with the musty smell of fetid water and dust. In the darkness she could hear the sounds of footsteps in the halls above and the scratching of rodents in the walls. She had taken refuge in a cleaning cupboard, it was cold, dark, clammy, and dirty; but Marien didn't care, she was far beyond caring. Hot tears ran down her face as she wept, crying into her hands and trying her best to stay silent. Outside the door she could hear the sound of a somber trumpet song.

No matter how she clutched at her ears she couldn't block out the echoing words of the instructor who had pulled her aside to tell her there had been an accident. No matter how hard she squeezed her eyes shut she couldn't shut out the image of her mother lying on the ground, her eyes wide and unseeing, staring up at the sky, her mouth frozen in a silent cry, a pool of dark red blood around her head, staining her fur and hair. The same blood now stained Marien's hands and tunic.

It had taken three soldiers to pull Marien back and keep her at bay as she fought to reach her mother. She had fought with tooth and claw even as the surgeons covered the body with a sheet, but still they held her back. If only they had let her shake her awake...

As the sound of footsteps outside the door grew near, Marien dug her face into her tunic to keep her weeping as quiet as possible. As the voices drew nearer, she could make out what they were saying.

"...been telling them to fix that dammed railing on the south wall for months. It was only a matter of time before somebody fell. Then again, Theresa was always looking off into space. I'm surprised she didn't have an accident sooner."

"It is a tragedy..."

"Well... tragedy might be taking it a bit far. If she was paying attention she wouldn't have fallen."

"That's a bit harsh don't you think? Besides, what about her daughter?"

"Oh yes, that's right she did have a brat. What was her name... Marida... Maddie... something like that."

"Poor child, losing a parent in battle is one thing... but this is just so pointless."

"Doesn't matter, Western or not, someone will take pity on her. Worst comes to worst she's just another army orphan."

Marien had to sink her teeth into her arm to keep from crying out as her sadness was replaced with burning rage. She wanted to scream, to fight, to slash and claw at the eyes of the one who was speaking. Her mouth filled with the coppery taste of blood as she bit down so hard that her teeth broke her skin.

"Look on the bright side," the voices were starting to fade as the guards walked by the door, "At least they'll probably fix the railing now."

"Better be careful who you let hear you talking like that." the second voice scolded, "If Commander Dauntless heard you say that she'd have your hide on her wall."

"Come off it Lex, I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm just, telling it like it is and you know it."

As the voices faded away, Marien released her arm from her jaws. Her shoulders shook as an ice cold rage filled the cavernous hole in her heart.

"You are going to have to be strong, stronger than everyone else..."

Marien's right hand slowly reached up to grip the pendant around her neck, while her left curled into a fist. She clenched her teeth so hard they creaked. The sadness and fear in her heart was torn aside by a hurricane of hatred and rage

"I'll kill them," she snarled, turning back towards the door. "I'll kill them all!"

===

"Their faces... their voices... the words they spoke... all lies. They never cared..."

===

A pillar of smoke rose from the funeral pyre in the center of the Fortress's central courtyard. Bright orange flames reached high into the sky, while swarms of sparks like drunken fireflies danced in the air. A large portion of the Fortress's staff were gathered around, some saluting out of respect, but most simply watching the fire with a detached lack of interest.

Marien stood and simply watched, the flames reflected in her eyes. Every once in a while through the flames, Marien caught sight of what was left of her mothers body, wrapped in linen, with a Basidian flag draped over it.

The tears and rage had passed, now all Marien could feel was a dark, yawning emptiness in her soul. She would never feel her mother's hand in hers again, never hear her voice, never see her beautiful eyes. All of that was gone forever, collapsing into ash before her eyes.

She jumped slightly at the touch of a hand upon her shoulder. Marien looked up and was surprised to see the fortress commander standing beside her.

Major Dauntless was an older female with dark taupe fur, tinged with gray so pale it was almost white. What her first name was, no one seemed to know, they simply called her Major. She bore a long scar that ran from her left ear, down her cheek, to the side of her neck. One of her eyes was hidden by a simple patch of black material, but the other was a dark green, like the depths of a thick forest, that shone with practiced authority.

"I'm sorry for your loss, young one," Major Dauntless said, gently squeezing Marien's shoulder. "Your mother was a good soldier, dutiful and faithful. You should be proud of her."

Marien didn't answer, and instead stared into the fire.

"I understand that you have chosen to stay at the fortress," Major Dauntless continued. "Your mother would be pleased, as am I."

"It's not like I have anywhere else to go," Marien said quietly, her grip on the pendant tightening.

Major Dauntless nodded sadly, "She would still be proud of your dedication. For what it is worth, I will do what I can to help you."

"Taking pity on the 'poor Westerner'," Marien muttered, the words stinging her throat as she spoke them.

"No, simply caring for a soldier under my care," Major Dauntless said quietly. "I want you to know that you aren't alone."

Marien looked down at the pendant. A powerful flash of anger pulsed through her as she glared down at the petals, "I will survive on my own. I don't need anyone."

Marien drew back her arm to throw the pendant into the flames. But before she could release it from her hand, Major Dauntless caught her arm and held it tight.

"You are angry, little one, that is to be expected." The Major's voice was soft yet firm, "And when we are angry, we do foolish things. Believe me, I know. If you no longer wish to have that, I will hold it for you, but I cannot let you destroy it. You will regret it, I promise you that."

"It's mine!"

"Your mother wanted you to have it."

"I don't care what she wanted! She left me alone! Why did she do that?! Why did she die!" Marien cried out. Several of the officers around looked at her and began whispering between themselves, but Marien didn't care.

"If she loved me she wouldn't have left me alone," Marien wailed, falling to her knees, the pain surging back, crushing her like the weight of an ocean being dumped upon her shoulders. With deep, gasping sobs she began to cry.

Major Dauntless knelt down and pulled Marien into her arms, "Shhhh, it's okay.... it's okay..."

"You're not my mother," Marien wailed, burying her face in Major Dauntless's shoulder. "I want my mother, I want my momma! Please, I just want my momma!"

"I know, I know," The Major replied softly, gently stroking the back of Marien's head. "But you have to be strong."

===

"Strong..."

===

Marien stood at attention, her shoulders squared and her back straight. In front of her, Major Dauntless examined a lengthy report.

Dropping the report on her desk and pushing it aside, Major Dauntless looked up at Marien, "Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"No sir!"

"This is the second time you've been in my office this week. You can't keep starting fights like this young lady."

"With respect sir, I didn't start it."

"That's not what this report, Shin, or your supervisor filed, says." Major Dauntless picked up and waved the papers, "They say you came up behind Shin and hit him with a mop handle. Supervisor Balta writes 'had I not intervened, it is likely that Private Marien Gail would have done significant harm to Private Shin Golliad. It is my opinion that private Gail did not intend to stop, and in fact intended to kill Private Golliad'."

Major Dauntless peered over the top of the report at Marien, "He said you tried to kill him. Is that true?"

"He's leaving out the part where Shin... where Private Golliad expressed an opinion about my mother and the way she died, sir."

Despite herself, Major Dauntless sighed, "And that's why you attacked him?"

Marien nodded, "Yes, Major."

The Major leaned back in her chair, pinching her nose, "What exactly did he say?"

"I won't repeat it, sir." Marien's eyes narrowed, "But anyone who speaks words like that, I will make them regret it."

Major Dauntless paused for a moment. Lowering her hand she looked back up at Marien, a cold hardness forming in her gaze. "I understand that it's been hard for you. I have tried to be understanding of your situation, but it has been years, and my patience has its limits. I've tried explaining this to you, I've tried being reasonable with you, and I have tried punishing you, and still you act like you have a chip on your shoulder."

"I..." Marien paused, "Truly, I meant no disrespect to you, Major. I appreciate your guidance."

"You are an excellent fighter, your skills with a sword are well above average, and your dedication to your duty is beyond reproach. With your talents you could be an officer, but this kind of behaviour is holding you back, and I cannot tolerate it any longer."

"They'll never let me be an officer," Marien scoffed. "They take one look at me and turn up their noses."

"And I have dealt with them! In MY castle, in MY regiment, the only thing that matters is ability. Eastern, Western, goddam Human or Keidran, it doesn't matter! It is my job to squeeze every drop of service and potential, potential that you have, out of you for the good of Basidian! You aren't a child anymore, it is time to grow up!"

Marien felt a strong pulse of irritation and anger surge through her body. Her muscles tensed and her eyes narrowed, "Fine. The next time someone like Shin has something to say, I won't hit them with a mop."

"That's good to hear-"

"I'll challenge them to a duel instead."

Major Dauntless's eye twitched, "Now you listen to me, you insubordinate little sh-"

"Not insubordination, sir," Marien interrupted, keeping her tone even. "You are right, I'm not a child anymore, and according to military code, section twenty one twelve, subsection thirty eight, I have the right to-"

"Don't be stupid!" Major Dauntless snapped, slapping the top of her desk with great force. "Do you think your mother would want you to throw your life away because some idiot can't keep his mouth shut?"

"I don't intend to throw my life away. With respect, Major, you yourself said I'm an excellent fighter."

"Enough!" Major Dauntless leapt up from her chair and slammed her hand against her desk, sending papers flying in every direction and an inkwell crashing to the floor.

"I have tried to be patient with you, I have tried to be understanding of your situation, but it would seem you are determined to- What is it!" Major Dauntless bellowed as there was a loud knock on her door.

The door cracked open and another instructor stepped into the room, dragging a young basitin with him by the back of his uniform. The youth was marked by a number of cuts and bruises on his face and hands, as well as a painful looking black eye. Marien recognized the boy immediately, Sieg Kolvest, a recruit one year her junior, a pampered richling with high ranking parents. He was an average fighter at best, in sparring practice Marien always defeated him with ease. He always seemed nervous, and every once in a while Marien would catch him watching her. But every time Marien met his gaze, he would look away.

"I apologize for the interruption Major," the instructor said, saluting with his free hand. "But private Kolvest here was caught fighting with two other recruits in one of the female dormitories. I thought you might want to deal with this matter immediately."

"By the love of- And just where are the other two?" Major Dauntless demanded.

"Hospital wing ma'am. Private Elliot Dendra required stitches for a rather nasty bite wound, while Private Mikael Harsh has a broken wrist."

As the two officers spoke, Sieg raised his head a little and noticed Marien watching him. As soon as their eyes met, Sieg turned his head away and stared at his toes. With a sniff, Marien looked away, crossing her arms.

With a deep breath to calm her temper, Major Dauntless folded her hands behind her back, "Alright..." She turned to Sieg, "Do you have anything to say for yourself, private?"

"I saw Elliot and Mikeal go into the female dormitory while I was heading to practice," Seig replied, his voice little more than a mumble. "I was trying to stop them, Major."

"So you decided to start a fight, rather than find an instructor?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Dropping back into her chair, the Major folded her fingers in front of her face, "I am well and truly finished with this sort of behaviour. You both bring shame upon this proud institution, and my patience has officially run out. Sergeant Hill, take Privates Kolvest and Gail to the dungeon. They can stay there while I decide what to do with them."

"Yes, Major." The instructor reached out to grab Marien, but she turned and bared her teeth.

"I can walk on my own," she growled, her ears pressed flat as she glared at the instructor. Before the sergeant could say another word, Marien turned and stalked out of the room.

The dungeon was cold and clammy, lit by a single brazier at the far end of a long line of cells. Marien tried to keep from shivering as she curled up on the straw mattress against the wall furthest from the door, but with the dampness in the air, the cold cut through her clothing and fur like a knife.

As she shivered, trying at least to keep her teeth from chattering, a quiet voice called out to her from the other side of the dungeon, "Hey."

Marien looked over her shoulder to see Sieg in the cell across from her, his face pressed against the steel bars.

"What do you want?" Marien snarled.

Sieg quickly reached into his tunic. "I wanted to give this back to you."

Marien's eyes widened as Sieg pulled out her pendant. "How did you get that?" she demanded, scrambling to the front of the cell and gripping the bars.

"Elliot and Mikael... They heard you'd been in a fight, and they said they were going to get revenge for Shin. They went into the dormitory to try and steal it."

"And how did they know where it was? I keep it hidden!"

"You hid it inside one of the hollow knobs at the end of your bed," Sieg replied with a shrug. "Everyone hides contraband there. Even the yearlings know about that hiding spot."

Marien was at a total loss for words.

"Elliot said they were going to throw it down the well," Sieg continued. "I tried to stop them, but they didn't want to stop, so I fought them."

"Give it to me!"

Nodding quickly, Sieg tossed the pendant across the aisle, Marien catching it in midair. Quickly she replaced it around her neck, but as she did she noticed that the pearl nestled in the center of the flower was missing.

"Where is it?" Marien demanded, striking the bars with her fist.

"Where is what?" Sieg asked, shrinking away.

"The pearl! Where is it?"

"I... I don't know!"

Marien glared at Sieg, but he refused to meet her eyes, staring down at the floor instead.

With a growl of disgust, Marien turned away from the bars. "I don't believe you. Why would a coward like you try to fight anyone, especially for me?'

"I'm not a coward!" Sieg shot back, his tone startling Marien.

As their gazes met, for the first time, Marien noted the colour of Sieg's eyes. Her breath caught in her chest. Sieg's eyes were a soft amber, almost the exact same colour as her mothers.

"I'm not a coward," Sieg repeated, holding Marien's gaze, "I just don't like how the others treat you."

"And why would you care?"

"Because it's wrong. Well that, and..." Taking a gulp, Sieg said, "I think you are really pretty."

Marien froze, "Wha... what did you say?"

"You heard me," Sieg replied as confidently as he was able. "I think you are pretty. I... like you."

Marien stood in complete shock, her eyes wide. Even in the highly disciplined and segregated atmosphere of the fortress, the older recruits found ways to speak to one another, to form bonds and attachments. More than once she had caught sight of an illicit couple vanishing into the shadows while she was on guard duty. Sometimes on her patrols she would turn a corner to find a red faced couple trying to pretend like nothing had happened in the moments before she had arrived. Unlike her peers, who would have eagerly reported such behaviour in the hopes of some minor promotion or another, Marien had no interest in such things and would simply continue on her way. But Sieg's words, the earnestness in them made something in her heart stir.

"I... I don't believe you," she said, turning away and folding her arms. "You're just saying that so I don't tear you apart for trying to steal my pendant."

"That's not true!"

"And why would a richling like you..." Marien paused for a moment, "I mean... I'm Western, that should be obvious, even to you."

Sieg cocked his head to the side, "Why would I care about that?"

"W-why? We're at war! Western Basitins and Eastern Basitins hate each other, and I... I'm a Western Basitin, at least that's what everyone says." Despite herself, Marien felt a pang of pain in her chest, followed by a sharp stinging at the corners of her eyes.

"But it's not true, is it?"

Marien turned sharply and Seig shrugged, "And even if you are Western, you're not at war with us, you're not at war with anybody."

"I'm alone."

"But you don't want to be."

"And how do you know that?!" Marien snarled, pressing her ears flat and glaring at Sieg.

"No one wants to be alone."

"Well maybe I do! You're just a boy with a crush, you don't know anything about me!"

"Then why are you crying?"

Marien froze and reached up to touch the side of her face, surprised to feel wetness on her cheek.

"You don't want anything to do with me," Marien said after a moment, turning back and sitting down on the straw mattress, her back turned to Sieg. "I'll just drag you down too."

"I don't care."

"I do. I don't want anyone else to..." Marien curled up and buried her face into her knees, "Just leave me alone."

"Okay... but for what it's worth... I'll be your friend."

Marien looked over her shoulder, but Sieg had already turned away and laid down on his own mattress.

"Thank you." Marien whispered.

===

"Sieg... the only one who saw me... the only one who ever fought for me... "

===

"Come on, you have to come with us."

Marien sighed as she lowered the book she was reading and looked up. Standing in front of her were two of her classmates, Kaiya and Hazel, their faces lit up with excitement. Both were wearing their training uniforms, though Hazel had tied hers into a knot to show off a hint of her midriff, while Kaiya had the top two buttons undone, both shamefully rebellious displays. But Hazel's mother was in charge of the town militia, while Kaiya's father was the master of the city docks. Even if an instructor decided to punish them for their immodesty, they were unlikely to get more than a verbal reprimand.

For Marien, the punishment for breaking the rules was likely to be much more severe and painful. Despite the heat of the summer day, Marien's uniform was done up exactly as it was supposed to be, high collar laced up and sleeves buttoned around her wrist; she couldn't afford even the slightest inclination of immodesty. She still bore a long thin scar on the top of her hand from the time an instructor had hit her with the blunt edge of his sword after he caught her rolling up her trousers so she could go wading in the sea.

"I..." Marien sighed heavily, "I'm just not that interested in watching boys swimming."

Kaiya crossed her arms, "Oh come on, don't be such a prude."

"Who knows, maybe we'll go swimming with them," Hazel murred, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers. "That could be a lot of fun..."

"And illegal," Marien muttered. "I hear you can get lashes for that kind of thing.

"Who's going to catch us? The quarry is out in the middle of nowhere!" Kaiya knelt down in front of Marien and took hold of her wrists, "Come on, you have to come with us."

"No!" Marien replied, resisting Kaiya's attempts to pull her to her feet. "Just leave me alone! "

"Wait..." Kaiya paused, "You aren't going to tell on us are you?"

"Of course not! I just..." Marien's ears sank to the side of her head. "It's not that I don't want to go... but I can't, I have other things to attend to. And why are you even asking me?"

"Everyone knows you have the best eyes and ears in this whole place, and someone has to be our lookout."

"Kaiya, leave her alone." Hazel spoke up as Kaiya tried unsuccessfully to pull Marien to her feet again , "If she doesn't want to come, that's fine."

With a sigh of defeat Kaiya released Marien and climbed to her feet, "Alright then, your choice."

"It is a shame though," Hazel said, a mischievous smile on her face as she turned and walked away with an exaggerated shrug. "I'm pretty sure I saw Sieg going with them."

Immediately Marien's ears perked up, "What?"

"But oh well, if you're not interested..."

Marien clambered to her feet, "Are you... sure it was him?"

Unable to hide her smile, Hazel turned around, making a show of tapping her finger against her cheek, "Hmmm... I'm pretty sure it was him... Light fur, brushed back hair, that adorable dark spot on the end of his tail..."

"I..." Marien paused for a moment, before a smile crossed her face and she tossed her book aside, "Alright, let go."

===

"That day... the first time I'd had fun... in a long time."

End of Part 4

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