A Ripped up Letter Originally Written by Draven
Reminds me of things I used to write in these letters!
Letter to my future self:
So... the school is forcing me write one of these 'letter to my future self' things. I feel like I've done this so many times before. Like, I don't know when every person who worked with teens suddenly thought that writing these would be such a great idea. But I swear they don't do anything. They just make me feel... bad. When I get my letter back after a few weeks, months, or end of the school year, I usually can't read the entire thing. The letters are just depressing. I mean, look at what I wrote last year. This is my favorite line, "Try to be nice to yourself; we deserve it. Though, we both know that that kindness won't last for long. Nothing ever does with us." Why am I putting myself down like this? Is it because it's true? Am I just writing the truth? Maybe I want these letters to be depressing so I can look back on them and think "Wow, look how pathetic I was back then. I was such a loser. Good thing I'm not like that now!" But I don't think that's the type of person I am. Then again, I don't really know who I am. I just feel stuck. Stuck in this tiny, unchanging box that I can't get out of. Everything that people want me to be is crammed in there. Have I ever made a decision on my own? I'm not sure about that. But I don't know what I'd want to do either. It's like I'm constantly reminded of how... inferior I am to other people. And I don't want to sound like some creep or anything. I don't mean it in that way, I just... Look. Even with this writing. I feel like I have so much to say. All of these thoughts living inside my head that want to explode onto the paper. But they can't. Because I can never find the words to express these feelings. It feels like I'm always trying to catch up to other people. I'm always behind. And the harder I try, the further behind I fall. I just... God, this is so stupid. Why am I even writing this?