What is hope?
#19 of Writing group challenges
Hello, here is another writing prompt from the writing group i am in. though i worry about rather or not this fits in the prompt all that well.
This Week's Writing Challenge: "Hope is a a brandished shield, but the loss of hope is a knife to the heart."
As a child, I would think that the world was a wonderful place. It was filled with nice people and nice things. Everyone got along and helped each other. The people in charge knew their responsibilities and fulfilled their duties. Any conflict or disagreement that arises can be fixed with an apology and a promise to do better. I thought the world was perfect and without flaw.
How naive I was to think that.
As I got older I realized just how much the world was full of shit. Mabye the world got shitteir as I grew older. Maybe it was always like this and I never noticed. Either way the results are the same. I lost sight of what made the world great. The colors I once saw grew darker. The sounds, taste, and smells no longer gave me the wonderful feelings I once had. Things that made me happy now annoyed me. I became a cold cynical adult.
I didn't want to do anything at that point. Nothing I did ever seemed to be worth anything. I had no goal I wanted to work towards. No interest I wanted to follow. I was just wasting time until I could just die. It was a horrible experience to live through.
The sounds of the final bell broke me out of my trance. In the halls, I hear students rush out of their classrooms as though after a long day of studying and boredom. I even see a few furs pass my door from the small window on it.
I sigh as I try and finish up this report I was making. I rather finish the day's work before club meetings happen. I rather give my focus on students that actually join the meetings then work on reports.
A few months ago, I started a new school club at the school I work at. Plainly called the Afterschool Club, it was a club that prepares students for life after graduation. Along with the usual stuff students would come to me asking about, the club also goes over things like budgeting, cooking, how to find a job, and all that stuff that a person needs to function in a modern society. It was easy to set up, but finding the students who would come regularly was an issue. While I originally planned to spread out details over a number of days, I ended up having to cover most subjects in one sitting since there is no guarantee that students would come back week after week.
As I gather the things for the club, I hear a knock on my office door. That wasn't too odd to me since most students try to see me in between classes or after school. "Come in," I yell out.
Instead of a fresh face student, I see the grizzled face of Kevin McDole. Like me he was a counselor, but his office was on the other side of the school. We rarely interact unless it was a staff meeting or something important.
"Mr. McDole, hello. Do you need something? I need to get ready for the club."
"Yes, Reid, there is something I need to discuss with you." Mr. McDole entered the room and closed the door behind him. He grabs a seat in front of my desk and sits down, "It has to do with that club of yours."
I sigh, already telling where this conversation is going, "what is it this time? What issue does someone have to do with my club now? Funding? I already told the Board what I am doing for the club is out of my pocket and time. If they want me to add something to what i am teaching then tell them to set up a meeting to go over it."
"I am here because i heard about something that happened during one of your club's meetings."
"Lots of things happen during the meetings, you would have to be specific."
Mr. McDole scowls, "i am talking about the last one. I just heard what happened during the last meeting." his voice was low, quiet close to being a growl.
"So it's about that then." I took my place at my desk, "so what was so bad about what I did?"
"What you did was go against the School Board wishes with that lesson of yours. How can you do such a thing?"
I took a breath, "if it is any consolation, I didn't plan on it going in that direction. I did plan to go over stuff for an internship, but a student's comment turned it into an impromptu Sexual Education Lecture."
"Yes I am aware that is what happened but the issue is what you said during the lecture."
It was through willpower I didn't roll my eyes at him, "If you are worried about accuracy then you do not have to worry on that front. I had made sure all that info I said was based on science and studies done by professionals. I wasn't pulling things out of my--thin air."
"No but what you said goes against the Boards of Education's standards. When Talking about Sex Ed, you are suppose to push for abstinence, not the things i heard you covered."
"As I said, what I said was based on data that came from scientists and studies. I did talk about Abstinence, but I also talked about other things besides it."
Mr McDole pinched the bridge of his nose, "that's the issue here. You were not supposed to talk about anything else besides abstinence. Anything besides that an it would look like you are trying to encourage students to have sex."
I took a breath, I would rather not yell at my coworker today, "Mr. McDole, let me be clear. Regardless if I did or didn't talk about it. These students are going to fuck each other. They are probably doing it right now in fact. I can not control them. The only thing i can do at this point is to give them knowledge so that they can do it safely."
"But the Board said---"
"If the Board has an issue with what I said, then they can get in contact with me themselves. So far, I haven't heard from them so they are okay with it in my eyes. If they contact me about it, then I will state my case and reasoning. But until then, i will keep doing what i think is right." I gathered my things and stood up from my desk, "Now if you excuse me, I have a club to get to."
"Hold on Reid I am not done with you."
I open the door, "Well I am." I closed the door behind me and walked through the halls. The talk with McDole has left me in a foul mood, but I was determined to be rid of it by the time I reached the club room.
It was time like these I remember what my father would always say when faced with a problem. 'Hope is a brandished Shied, but the loss of hope is a knife to a heart.' Dad was always tightlipped on what that actually meant, telling me when I understood it I would be a man. It was only when I made the voice to go to college that I think I learned what it means.
Whatever I plan to do, I need hope to move forward. Hope in someone or something, it didn't matter, I just needed hope. With hope, i can withstand and overcome and obstacle that comes my way. I turned that knife that was once stuck in my hearty into a shield that allows me to handle what comes my way. And i have no plans of putting my shield away anytime soon.