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The End: Chapter 7: Old Haunts

Humphrey's P.O.V.

Though I tried to put her out of my mind that night, thoughts of her haunted me like the many albatrosses that hang from my neck, and the memories of our marvelous adventure across the country played like a poignant tragedy inside of my head. Sleep eluded me as I immediately found discomfort in every position I tried, so eventually I abandoned my attempts at slumber and ventured forth into the night. As I stepped beyond the threshold of my den, I found myself immediately showered in pale, blue light and as its gentle glow surrounded me, I felt my heart grow even heavier. Mere hours ago, it was in this same light that she and I had shared that intimate, unforgettable moment in which our two souls had melded into a harmony that we could never create with another.

Now that moment had faded into oblivion and the light of the moon served only as a hollow reminder of what was and what would never come to be. I felt tears well up in my eyes as they began to drift skyward, but I quickly averted them to the ground once more, as I knew that should my eyes fall upon the moon and see it mocking me from its ghostly throne on high, it would steal the light from my eyes and leave me to wander the world as nothing more than an unfeeling shadow. With bitter contempt, I bit back my tears and pressed forward into the night with no real destination in mind. Thoughts of Kate and her soon to be husband led me through the night in a sort of daze from which I escaped only when the sound of soft snores found purchase upon my ears. Immediately I came to rest and upon a quick assessment of my surroundings, I realized that I had blindly wandered over to the den that belonged to the two wolves whom I had grown to call mom and dad.

As I stood just beyond the mouth of their den I found myself locked in place by the shackles of doubt. I wanted so badly to wake them and tell them what was on my mind, because they were the only ones who truly understood how I felt about her, but as I stood there and listened to the gentle sounds of their slumber, I found myself unable to wake them. So, with a soft sigh I simply turned around and walked slowly away.

It wasn't too long before my ventures led me to the doorstep of my oldest friends, and as I crossed into their domain, I felt a sense of comfort wash over me the likes of which I hadn't felt in a long time. As I approached the mighty oak that had so many times provided me with comfort when I was sad, a friend when I was lonely, and an objective ear when I could no longer keep my woes locked up inside. I took a moment to admire its luscious foliage and marveled at how in spite of our time apart, it remained exactly as I remembered it. I crossed the line of the shadow it cast upon the ground and with the pale light that poured through the holes in its canopy, I was able to locate the paw print that I had carved into its bark so many months ago. For a moment, I simply stared at the tiny paw print, wishing so dearly that I could go back in time and tell that pup that everything would eventually turn out alright if he could simply live his life for somebody beyond what his fantasies desired, but after that thought had resolved itself and faded into the back of my mind, I sighed and placed my paw over the print that I had carved so long ago. My eyes remained locked on my paw for a moment, but then I allowed them to slowly drift up the length of the tree to its rich canopy, and as my eyes fell upon it, I felt a soft smile form upon my lips.

"Hello, old friend."

Kate's P.O.V.

The energy in the air was nearly palpable as I lied down to sleep that night. The smiles and cheers of a pack soon to unite and the calm relief of a war soon to be averted seemed to fill every inch of space in the park, but all I felt in this moment was numbness. I knew that I should be happy. After all, I had an attractive spouse-to-be waiting for me in the morning, a bright future free of famine and war for our pups to grow up in, and a vast family of loved ones around me, but in spite of all of this I felt empty and sick in my stomach. I knew I had a big day ahead of me, so I immediately shut my eyes and tried to drift off into sleep, but it seemed that each time my eyes closed, Humphrey's image would appear in my mind. I tried to put him out of my thoughts, but it seemed that no matter how hard I fought to keep him at bay, he would always find a way into my head and reflections of our incredible journey would follow.

I could picture everything so vividly, from the moment we woke up in those metal crates to the moment we parted ways that night, but what stood out to me the most was the way he looked at me whenever I told him that I was getting married. Never in my life had I seen somebody so hurt and the longer my eyes remained closed, the more his forsaken gaze burned into my soul. So finally, after what felt like forever, I allowed my eyes to peel slowly open and I lifted my head from my paws. Dim moonlight trickled into the den and in its soft glow, I could see the shadowy forms of my family as they peacefully slept. As I looked upon them, I felt envy and resentment begin to rise inside of me. I never knew it when I was a pup, but my entire life had been decided for me, and as a result, I was the only one who ever had to sacrifice anything.

I sighed as I attempted to push my bitterness aside, but I found that so long as I remained in the den, so did my distain. So, with a sigh I pressed myself up onto my paws and began to slowly make my way out into the darkness. As I stepped out into the night, I took a moment to pause and gaze out at the moonlit land before me. I don't know why, but being there in that moment, after everything that had happened- it all just seemed so surreal to me. I had grown and changed so much in the course of just three days, and tomorrow, I would face the greatest change in my life. I knew that my sacrifice would be for the greater good, and I told myself that this fact would be enough to make this sacrifice worthwhile, but there was a part of me that just wasn't ready for it.

My journey with Humphrey made me realize that I was never in control of my own destiny, but more importantly, it made me realize what it was like to be free, and I wished so dearly to be able to get it back. However, I knew that I was bound to my pack and that my duties to it trumped any personal desires I possessed, so wether I was ready to accept it or not, come tomorrow, I would have to face this change head on like a soldier- just like my father always told me. However, for the night at least, I could still find a way to escape.

Humphrey's P.O.V.

Just as it was in the days of my youth, I professed my woes to the impartial ear of the trees around me and as my final strained word was carried into oblivion, I found myself surrounded by a sort of silence that speaks louder than any voice ever could. I felt it surround me in its absoluteness and then I felt it crush me with its immensity, and under the immeasurable weight of this silence, I found myself unable to fight my emotions any longer. The tears started off as soft soliloquies from my tattered soul, but before long, I collapsed to the ground and allowed deep, rapturous sobs to pour from my heart and into the night. The crystal spring which lied before me seemed to share my pain as we together allowed our woes to flow from within and like this we two remained as we prayed for a swift end to our eternal suffering.

Kate's P.O.V.

With a sigh I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. Then, once all the air had been pressed from my lungs, I took one last long look over the land before me then turned and began to make my way down the slope and out into the park. I didn't know exactly where I was going- as my body seemed to carry me onward without any presence of mind, but I didn't really care where I ended up so long as it was some place peaceful. Through the dark shadows of trees and the pale light of the night, I wandered aimlessly until suddenly an inconsistency in the ground caused me to stumble and I was immediately shaken from my trance as I quickly moved to steady myself. I took a moment to curse my lapse in concentration then I allowed my eyes to drift over the place to where my paws had carried me. It didn't take me long to realize that this was the place where my life had truly begun to change.

It was here, at the base of this hill that I stood ready to depart for alpha school- where I left behind my life of simple innocence and had it forcefully taken from me by the harsh denigration of my instructors and classmates, and by the cruel indifference of the yellow-eyed pup who had so viciously assaulted me that fateful day. Somewhere beyond this hill, parts of me lie buried in the cold, hard ground, and in this moment I found myself wondering if I would ever be able to get them back. I wondered if I even wanted to... with a sigh I turned away from the hill and allowed my eyes to scan the forest before me. I don't quite know what I was searching for. Perhaps I searched for simpler times, or for some old, pleasant memory that I could return to, someplace I could dwell for a moment and forget about my life for a while.

As my eyes drifted over the darkened trees, they came to rest upon a landmark that I recognized and I began to make my way toward it. Without hesitation, I set forth into the growth of trees and as I continued to traverse deeper into the woods, I felt a certain kind of calmness wash over me. I realized that I hadn't set foot in these woods since the first time I met Humphrey those many months ago, and the memory of this moment brought with it a pleasant simplicity that had become so strange to me since my youth. I can't quite explain why, but as this distant feeling washed over me, I felt a warm smile begin to form upon my lips and as I traversed deeper into the trees, the gravity of my current situation seemed to fade away. However, as I drew near to the lake a familiar sound filled my ears and I stopped dead in my tracks.

It took me a moment to be able to identify the sound, as it was one that I had not heard in many months, but when my keen eyes identified the form of a wolf lying near the bank of the lake, the realization of what I heard and who I saw fell upon me like the mighty weight of my deepest regrets. The sound of Humphrey's heartbroken wails pierced through my soul like hot lead and as I listened to him pour his woes out into the night, I felt tears of my own begin to sting my eyes, because it was in this moment that I truly realized what I had done to him. I guess that, since I was so constantly consumed by all that was happening in the background of our adventure and its eventual end, I failed to recognize what was happening right in front of me, but in this moment there was no escaping the crushing reality of the pain that I had brought upon my dearest friend.

Waves of guilt crashed over me and I lifted a paw to begin to close the gap between us, but before I could even take that first step, I placed it down beneath me once more as hesitation locked me in place. I knew that he was heartbroken and in desperate need of a friend, but after everything that had happened- after everything that I had put him through, I didn't know what to say, or how I would even be able to face him. So with a sigh, I simply turned and began to walk slowly away. As I took my leave, I tried with everything in my power to drown out his heartbroken wails, but in spite of this they still found purchase upon my ears and chilled my body to the core and each time his tearful voice would ring out into the night, my guilt would only grow. I don't think I even took ten steps before I halted and turned back to face the place where he lied and for a moment I simply stood as his haunting cries continued to bore into my soul. Then, with a sigh I began to make my way back to him.

Closer and closer I drew to where he lied, and with each step that I took I felt my own apprehensions grow. Though the distance between us could not have exceeded thirty feet, this was the longest walk I had ever had to make in my life. Everything that I wanted to say to him played over and over in my mind like an endless babble, and as I drew to a distance of only five feet, I paused as I searched for the courage to make my thoughts known. Humphrey, unaware of my presence behind him, continued to weep, so with a quick breath of collection, I closed the remainder of the gap until I was close enough to touch him. There I paused yet again and then slowly began to reach my paw out to him. However, a mere inch before my paw could contact him and alert him of my presence, I arrested its approach and pulled it slowly away. Then, with a sigh I simply turned around and began to walk away yet again, the words that I wished so dearly to say to him still swirling around ceaselessly inside of my head. I continued to make my way out of the forest, but when four powerful, distraught words found purchase upon my ears, I stopped dead in my tracks and the tears that had begun to brim in my eyes finally began to pour like rivers down my cheeks.

"I love you too, Humphrey."

With these words, I bitterly bit back my tears and with a heavy heart, I set my course for home once more...