Werefox's Dillema- Chapter 3
#3 of Werefox's Dillema
With him gone and my adrenaline waning again the only thing that returns to my mind is the need to sleep. I can't use the bag of food for a pillow as that would not only ruin the food by crushing it with the weight of my head but would likely also be very uncomfortable. And one drawback of this place is that there are no other pillows to use. I'm sure if I asked that the pastor probably would be able to find some sort of pillow that I could use on the days that I rest here but I don't really have the heart or courage to ask such an imposing question. So as I do on most days I begin emptying my pockets and placing everything to the side. I unclip the cloak and remove it completely and then put it to the side for a moment before turning around in my location as a means of making sure I've gotten everything out of the way so I can sleep as comfortably as I possibly can as well as help straighten out what clothes I do wear so they aren't uncomfortably bunching up in one part or another. Satisfied after a few turns I lie down and curl up into a sort of fetal position before reaching over and pulling the cloak back over me in a sort of cover. My head is still facing the stairs, such that I'll be facing anything that decides to sneak up on me.
I lie down on my arm for a moment and just sort of stare off into space, a yawn escaping my mouth as I look at the mural beside me. I don't know what the story revolving it is and I'm sure that it wouldn't matter how long I stood there staring at or how many times I come to look at it I don't think I'll ever quite get its intention. In the daylight it's a much more spectacular display with a lot of greens and blues and yellows all over the place. The figure in the center seems to be some person or other carrying a large white sword and behind that figure are two outstretched wings. The figure itself seems a particularly symmetrical thing, both wings on the side of equal appearance and the sword is being held straight up, stopping just shy of the individual's chin. And in contrast everything that isn't the figure is just colors and patterns in a seemingly chaotic, if not random pattern.
My nose twitches slightly as some fibers begin to rub against it. I divert my gaze and find that my abominable appendage has decided that it's going to shove itself in my face as I try to sleep. Resigning myself to the notion that in all likelihood it'll take too much effort to try and will it away while trying to sleep I decide to instead use it and roll over slightly, putting it to use as my new pillow. My arms I place underneath fluffy appendage as I rest over the hairs, still able to feel the thin wiry part that is the actual substance of it underneath me. And within minutes I allow myself to fall into slumber.
Sleep is never an easy thing for me to do. By nature and necessity I can never sleep very deeply. If someone were to catch me still asleep I'd have no defense to what they could do to me and with no other form of protection than my wits and reflexes I'd be done for. As such I need to always be alert enough such that the moment something begins to approach me I can wake up enough to decide how best to act and flee if need be. On top of that there is the issue that the deeper I sleep, the greater the chance that if the song decided to sing in my dreams, that I wouldn't be able to prevent its embrace. The slip takes much longer when I'm asleep than when I'm awake but it has happened before. Dreams of a sense of normalcy end up turning by the sheer randomness that is dreams into dreams of what happens when I surrender and with those dreams my body will rebel against me and take the form of what I am in the dream.
My dreams tonight aren't too bad, far more strange for me than what it could have been. It is an odd thing. Despite everything I've been through and this hated body I'll still get dreams where I'm in a school. It's never a school that I've actually been to. This one seems particularly large from the feel of it, almost like a skyscraper of a school. There doesn't seem to be any floor designation nor exact dimensions shared in any manner, only a sense that there are many floors both below and above me. I'm in my normal form and I'm simply wandering the halls, getting from one class to another. I take a flight of stairs and when I get out the stairs I find something staring at me. I turn around quickly trying to find the source but I see nothing, not even the form of the song's desire.
I wake up gently, noting the sun just beginning to rise and illuminate the mural around me. Well the sun itself hasn't risen yet as it's still predawn but it is already to the point where the sky is beginning to lighten up. I yawn again as I begin to stretch out my muscles, my tongue extending far outside of my mouth. I must have been more exhausted than I had thought since I did not intend on sleeping as long as I have. I lick at the roof of my mouth a few times, noting how dry my mouth feels. I must be starting to get dehydrated and should go about remedying that pretty soon. My ears twitch as I can hear movement up ahead. But it isn't that of a human. No, the sound is too light, too high pitched to be footsteps of something weighing more than a few dozen pounds. I recognize this sound as I've dealt with it on occasion. It's a simple rat scurrying around the building, carrying out some purpose of its own. Without thought I dash out and leap at it, my cloak forgotten as I seize the rat and bit into it with my jaws, chewing what could count as breakfast before realizing what I did. I quickly check my form just in case I did slip but find that my appearance is exactly the same as I left it going to sleep.
Sighing slightly and knowing that it'd be in poor taste to let this food go to waste I finish eating the rat before going back to my things. The first thing to take care of is to put my cloak back on, taking the time to make sure the clips are securely set in place. I then grab one of the leather straps and begin to wrap it around one of my feet. It is a fairly slow process. I need to make sure that it's tight enough to offer good protection and not slip while at the same time not making it too tight that it'd cut off the circulation of my foot. Once I've finished both I place my mask on and head to the restroom near one of the side entrances. I may not look like a human anymore but I still certainly need to take care of some things like all animals do and I will do it in as dignified a manner as I can. Once I have taken care of that business I head towards one of the sinks, making the greatest effort I can to not look into my face as I remove the mask again and put it on the counter of the sink next over. Just looking into those pale slitted yellow eyes causes the song to begin again, singing out its rejoicement of the morning's day.
But thankfully it is still quiet enough I can ignore it. I turn on the faucet and dip my hands in there, cupping as much water as I can before raising it up to my mouth, using it as a sort of drinking fountain. I can use normal drinking fountains but it still seems far too awkward for me to use often. It takes me a little while to get enough water down my throat that I feel sated. I close my eyes as I reach for the mask, pulling it over my face without looking at myself. Only once it's back on do I open up and make sure it's firmly in place. The mask is nothing spectacular. Only some plastic Halloween mask that I stole over a month or two ago, it's hard to remember dates when your schedule is like mine. I don't recognize who it's supposed to be or if it's even supposed to be anyone. All I care is that it looks well enough like a generic human face that a casual glance would lead anyone to think I'm either human or some kid playing a game or something; definitely not something out of the ordinary.
Settled in all the main concerns being taken care of for the time being I take off, heading towards the nearest exist. Whether or not the pastor knows that I'm leaving is not really my concern, nor is it to alert him that I'm no longer going to be here. It has never been the way I've done things with him thus far and so it is not something I plan on changing any time soon. If nothing else stopping to say goodbye might give the illusion that I might actually say something to him or want him to bother me much more than he does already.
I step out into the daylight and take a moment for my eyes adjust to the increase in light. I don't seem to be able to make out many people in the nearby vicinity which is certainly a good thing for me. I slip out and continue on, planning on heading more towards the market district of this town so that I can take care of the need for more leather to mend or more accurately replace my current bindings on my feet. I sniff at the air, frowning slightly at the wet scent permeating the air. It'll almost assuredly start raining sometime today. Or at the very least I hope it'll still be just rain and not snow. I'm not looking forward to when the snow covers the ground, not so much for the cold it promises as it means it'll be so much tougher to move without leaving a trace since I'd leave footprints everywhere. And on top of that since my feet are not the same shape as a normal human's it would be so much more likely to draw attention, especially since there is nothing I can really do to prevent that beyond never walking anywhere that is covered by the snow. In essence during the winter my only option is to walk where all of the snow has already been plowed or shoveled away completely.
By the time that I have arrived at my choice of store the sun has already risen and foot traffic has already started to come to and from the store itself. Which is both fortunate and unfortunate. The more people there are the less I stand out and the less likely someone will look at me against everyone else but at the same time it'll mean far more people that will have the opportunity to look at me. The store I intend on going to is not a shoe store but actually a clothing store, in particular one that will sell used coats. There aren't many of them in the state but that's one of the reasons I camp out here instead of somewhere else in the state. Still the more crimes I commit the more likely the police will begin to tighten their leash and start trying to find anyone with even remotely my appearance. At which point merely trying to avoid them will only make my life harder and harder. Eventually I'd be forced to leave the city if not the state completely, likely being forced to change out what mask I use and get a new cloak.
The hardest part of that is to have to walk so many miles completely on foot since I'd have no means to go in any other way. I enter and find my way to where they have all of their used leather jackets stored away. Some are extremely ratty and worn out. Still others are too thin. I am fortunate in that this time of year they still sell winter coats and thus I can find one that's warm enough to do well for what I need. I touch one of the thicker coats and press against it for a little while before deciding it is simply not good enough. Though the leather may be useful, there is far too much padding to be good. I do find another nearby with good thick leather, that's been used enough to be tough and firm and on top of that it's fairly cheap due to being on sale but it would use up most of the money I have left.