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*Sunday. The day I look forward to most every week, because it means rolling into my old Corvette and mozying over to Mom's house for brunch. It's been our little gig for a while now, and I think she's come to rely on my visits for company. I don't really mind considering the fact I'm the only Futzler child left within a reasonable distance of her, but there's certainly been times I wished my siblings would pay her a visit beside the obligatory Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. *

Today would be a rare instance of an outing with two whole people I know. Mom hasn't seen Sam in a few years either, so here's hoping the snow leopard is ready to get bombarded with questions, hugs, and lots of offers for cookies. It was certainly a shock to get his call to come along, but I figured it would double as a nice surprise for Mom to see a face other than mine visit her.

I arrived at the Pilten residence at 10 o'clock on the spot. Clear blue sky stretched across the entire horizon with the sun almost overhead. It was only 56 degrees, but it hadn't stopped me from popping off the t-tops to enjoy some open-air cruising one last time before I would have to relegate my jet-black toy to the garage. I rolled to a creaky stop and pulled the handbrake, letting the engine rumble in neutral. With a few squawks from the meek horn I grabbed the attention of my friend, who was perched on his front porch. He was dressed down today, donning grey sweatpants, a sweatshirt equally devoid of any trendy color, and well worn sneakers.

The puffy white leopard awkwardly slid into the leather clad bucket seat, politely tucking his limbs in as if afraid anything he touched would disintegrate. He wasn't totally wrong, as I'd busted my fair share of cheap plastic pieces, but still. Sam turned to me and smiled.

"Hey motor mama."

"Hey yourself, spots."

I pushed the brake handle down and set off.

"So what's your mom got cooking for us?"

I shrugged. "Beats the shit outta me, but whatever she makes, it'll probably be good. Last week we had these ass-kick hashbrowns with an overeasy egg on top. Hooo, when you get a piece with egg white and some yolk on it..."

"Mmm. Why didn't you ever invite me over?"

"Because I figured you'd find it kinda weird to spend a morning with someone else's mom."

"Eh, your mom is pretty cool. 'Sides, I could go for food that isn't microwaved, toasted, or floating in a bowl of milk for a change."

"Did your mother not teach you how to cook?"

"Oh she did, it's Rodney who has no business being behind a stove."

We came to an intersection, the red light a lone hindrance to our progress through the thin traffic.

"So why don't you do the cooking? Or hell, just teach him how; you could even make it all romantic, you wrapping your arms around his while showing how to mix and cut, him lifting a spoon to your mouth to taste what he's made, then getting left with nothing to do for an hour while it cooks..."

The green light on the bottom of the signal lit up and mercifully allowed us to continue.

"Tsh, already tried that," Sam's tone dipped to a growl as he spoke. "Wanted to make an apple pie with him one night after dinner, only for him to come home late and constantly look at his phone every ten seconds waiting for an email from a client. Eventually I got so bothered I told him to just sit at the table and wait 'til I was done, which by the time I was Rodney had gone to bed. Made me so upset I just threw it in the trash."

I just stared ahead in stunned silence for a moment, suddenly afraid of the wound I'd reopened. "Oh. Sorry Sam, I had no idea..."

"Forget about it Kells. I shouldn't let my shit get in the way of our nice day out together."

My head filled with thoughts as quickly as silence permeated the air between us. Sam had never spoken with such venom towards his husband before; little quips and gripes, sure, but those all sounded light hearted in comparison to whatever nerve I'd just struck. The leopard was always keen to keep everything to himself, and to see that come out of him must've meant something nasty was going on, or it was something that had been brewing for a while and finally reached its boiling point.

Then I remembered something from Friday, what Sam had been so over the moon excited for when we were leaving work.

He promised to spend the whole weekend with me...Friday night date...Going to Lake Winnebago Saturday...

"That asshole blew you off, didn't he?" I blurted, immediately cursing my loose muzzle working faster than my head.

I could hear the low groan of Sam's seat as he slumped against the door. A deep, shaky breath came before his response.

"Just drop it Kelly, please. The bullshit between me and my husband isn't important. I can handle it."

"Sam your bullshit's alwa-"

"I SAID FUCKING DROP IT!!"

Sam paused for a moment to recover after his sudden bellow. "I already have one person in my life who doesn't listen, Kelly, don't make it two."

********

Let's see...ham is good and warm, rolls are cut, eggs are scrambled to a T, and the cookies should be done right as we're finishing up...table is set, milk and coffee are out...

I wiped the sweat from my brow as I took inventory of my handiwork. It was the usual magic that I had to make happen every Sunday for when Kelly shows up for our weekly brunches; never an easy feat when I had to account for Reverend Chudley's blathering sermons. This morning had only left me with two hours to get everything ready, but the time crunch is what I lived for.

I've found retirement pays you back more so in time than anything else, and the sudden surplus tanks any sort of value it had before. There's no more deadlines, no more having to schedule things around work or school or the kids, no more daily routine, and with that, seemingly little else to do with my life. There were certainly a few trips and bucket list items I've been able to do, but now that I've fulfilled long held dreams, what else is there?

I leaned back against the edge of the sink to let the old box fan in the window blast chilly air at me. Even though the room was set to a comfortable temperature, I was sweating like the lid on a slow cooker. Hot flashes had become a regular occurrence, and were capable of making my pelt feel like a sauna suit even on the coldest winter days. Just another lovely perk of reaching old bat status.

With my innards still aflame I ventured outside for a little self indulgence after having devoted my morning to God and kitchen. I flipped open the generic plastic box containing a few cigarettes, all of which I'd rolled myself, and walked out to the front lawn. It was the one habit that hadn't died at my retirement party, though now it was my name on the butt rather than some multi-million dollar conglomerate. With a quick flick of my old metal lighter I lit up the tip and took a nice, deep drag. By intuition I knew Kelly would come rolling down the street any minute, and we'd do our regular song and dance of shooting the shit until the setting sun beckoned my daughter away for yet another week.

Just as I was crushing the remaining filter into the driveway my ears perked at a familiar V8 rumble. A broad smile stretched my muzzle as I saw a glossy black sports car heading toward me, with a lynx behind the wheel and a somewhat familiar grayish feline next to her. I waved as she pulled around the cul de sac, parked, and emerged along with her passenger.

Both of us met in a tight embrace.

"How've you been kiddo?" I asked after we broke our hug.

"Fine, you?"

"Same as usual," I shrugged. "Who's this dashing young fellow you've brought with you?"

"C'mon Ma, you remember Sam. He's the one I always talk about with ya."

The fluffy cat, who was still standing by Kelly's car, politely waved and replied with a simple "Hey".

I sized him up before giving him a hug, though not before picking up on his puffy red eyes. "Oh hello hon, it's been so long. Though Kelly's told me so much we may not even need to catch up!" I paused a moment before deciding to ask "Is something the matter sweetheart?"

He timidly shook his mottled head in response. The constant flicking of his bushy tail told me he was nervous as hell. "May I use your bathroom Mrs. Futzler?"

"Of course. It's down the hall to your right, then the second door on the right. And just call me Jackie."

"Thanks."

He trudged up to the house and slipped through the screen door. I turned to Kelly and gave her a worried look.

"What's up with him?"

She sighed in frustration before explaining what went down on the ride over.

"I don't have a fucking clue what to do. It's obvious there's something going on between him and Rodney but he just won't tell me. And I've never heard him yell like he did at me."

"Hmm. Well, maybe it's best to let him be for a minute. His emotions are likely running high and he needs time to sort his head out."

"Okay, but then what? I can't just stand by when I know my best friend is hurting like this."

"Just be patient dear. I have a plan, but you'll need to play by my rules, got it?"

"Got it."

********

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

There goes any chance of getting a day off from any Rodney drama. Now it's all they're gonna be after when they see me.

"What's wrong Sam? What's going on with you and Rodney, SAM?! WHY DON'T YOU TELL US, SAM?! IS HE HURTING YOU, SSAAMM?!"

I clutched the pounding sides of my head and bared my teeth.

Just. Let. Me. Be. It's between me and Rodney, you don't need to be bothered with it. I just want to have a nice time, but everything always has to come back to my bullshit.

I fell to the cool tile floor as my knees buckled. My lungs could barely keep up with how hard I was breathing, every inch of my body vibrating with tension, and my heart pounding like a jackhammer in my chest.

There's no way out of this. Why can't Kelly see I don't want to burden her with my problems? That I came here as an escape? Ohhh...and she's probably mad I yelled at her too...her Mom will hound me...Rodney will see I'm upset...Word will get out at work and everyone will give me looks while they talk about the big shot marketing guy with a shitty marriage...I'll never be able to get away...Not here...Not work...Not home...Not...oohoooooh...

I lunged towards the toilet bowl and clung to the seat with a death grip.

"BLLAAAAAUUUUHHHHHGGGHHHH"

********

I sat at the table gnawing on my hot ham roll. My leg was bouncing a mile a minute as the rest of my body itched to go and try talking to Sam again. I squeezed my paw hard against my glass of milk, mentally reciting Mom's instructions.

We let him come out of the bathroom when he's ready. And when he does, act like nothing happened. Don't mention what was said in the car, don't ask him what took so long, and most definitely don't ask anything related to Rodney. Offer him some food, and make him feel comfortable. After he's fat and happy, we can try asking some simple questions, but nothing more.

"You look like I did when I tried quitting," Mom chuckled. The elder lynx was crouched in front of the oven, one paw stuffed in an oven mitt to pull out a fresh batch of cookies. She set the pan down atop the stove and started moving the sweets to a metal cooling rack.

"Could certainly go for a smoke break right about now. Shit."

"I know it's nerve-wracking, but you've got to be patient with him when it comes to his...situation. Remember that whatever pain Sam's going through is deeply emotional and you can't-"

Both of our ears perked at the unmistakable sound of barfing from down the hall. Immediately I hopped up from my seat, Mom frantically calling after me to wait. It only took a few bounds on my long legs to reach the bathroom door.

I found Sam hunched over the toilet and heaving as he spilled his guts. He looked up at me like a caged animal, wide-eyed and shaking. Immediately I got down to my knees and held his shoulder, but he flinched away and mumbled in response.

"N-n-no, I'm...I-I'm...okay..."

With a few wheezy breaths he fainted, his body crashing into mine as the leopard simply gave out.

"Oh fuck! MOOOOOM!!"

********

"Are you done with your food, Kelly?"

There was still a quarter of her sandwich left, and she hadn't even touched the eggs. Kelly held her head in one paw, staring blankly at the floor.

"Yeah."

She slowly rose from her seat, shook the plate over the garbage can, and let it drown with the rest of the dishes in the sink. I continued my scrubbing as Kelly began absently wiping down a fork she pulled from the drying rack.

So badly did I want to scold my daughter when I found her blubbering on the bathroom floor after ignoring my directions. All of my annoyance passed when I realized Sam was unconscious in her arms, and quickly helped her move him to the couch where he currently lay. We let the poor leopard be after I made sure his breathing and heart rate were okay, much to both the relief and concern of Kelly.

A loud squeak erupted from a cabinet door as she put away a few glasses. Afterwards she turned to me. Wordlessly, Kelly wrapped her arms around me and started bawling.

"Fuck, I...I-I almost fucking killed him," she whispered into my ear. "All because...I couldn't *sniff* leave him alone."

"Shhhshshshhh, Kelly. He's going to be okay. Don't be so hard on yourself, you were just trying to help."

"And my 'help' just made it all worse."

"Oh sweetheart," I held her firmly. "How about you take a quick smoke break and get settled down while I check on Sam. Sound good?"

She looked at me with her teary eyes and nodded.

I gave her the warmest smile I could muster. "He'll be okay Kelly. Don't worry."

Seemingly satisfied with that reassurance, she turned around and went out the back door. A heavy sigh left my lungs as I rubbed my forehead in thought.

Please dear Lord let this boy be okay. I appreciate the new challenge, but I'm only one soul here..

********

Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink.

It was a small sound that roused me from my artificial slumber. Something metallic colliding in a quick rhythm.

Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink.

Each strike of metal reminded me of a heart beating. I was instantly brought back to kneeling in the bathroom; my own heart racing, head pounding...

Tink. Tink. Tink.

There has to be some way out of this. If only I could see...

Tink. Tink.

The darkness in my vision parted to reveal a white spackled ceiling, tinted with a dim yellow glow from somewhere in the room. How much time had passed since I was last conscious remained a mystery to my groggy brain. I began to shift to my side, quickly abandoning my attempt to get up after my entire body started smarting. Kelly's mom was sitting in a recliner across from me, a pair of knitting needles sticking out from her carefully curled paws as she met my gaze.

"Good morning sunshine," the elder lynx cooed.

"Uhhhhgghhh," was all I could manage from my dry throat, not to mention the foul tang of vomit still tainting every breath.

The old woman put her work away and came over to me. She crouched down and gently stroked along my side. It was certainly an unexpected touch, but it felt wonderful to my aching muscles.

"You've been out for a couple hours, sweetheart. Would you like some water?"

I gave a shallow nod. She returned quickly with a small plastic cup, but stopped just short of the couch.

"Can you try sitting up for me?" Her voice was like an aural pillow for my throbbing head, and I obliged her request.

I rolled onto my backside once again and gingerly sat up, feeling every dull ache work its way through my entire being. Mrs. Futzler passed me the cool cup that was completely dwarfed by my oversized paws. The entire thing was downed in a few quick gulps, and I returned the empty plastic to its owner.

"Would you like some more?"

"Yes ma'am."

She returned once more with a full cup. "Can I get you anything to eat? I don't think you've eaten anything today."

While her assumption on my lack of eating was correct, my gut remained iffy after so suddenly ejecting its contents. I respectfully passed on her offer.

"Is Kelly still here?"

"Of course sweet pea, she's in the kitchen."

"Is she upset?"

Mrs. Futzler looked puzzled by my question.

"Kelly's not angry-upset, if that's what you mean. She's more sad and worried-upset, even blaming herself for making you freak out."

I simultaneously felt relieved and ashamed. It was a weight off of me that I hadn't angered Kelly, but there was no one to blame but myself for making her worry.

"There's something I wanna tell you, Sam," Mrs. Futzler moved in close and held my paw. Her face was serious, and her voice gained a firm edge. "Before you ask, I'm not going to pry into whatever situation you have that led to...this whole mess; you've dealt with enough stress today and I don't want to cause you any more."

Thank. You.

"That being said, I really think you and Kelly need to sit down and talk about it. You don't have to do it today, or tomorrow, and you don't have to tell her anything you're not comfortable with. If there's anything frustrating her, it's that she sees you're hurting and she doesn't know how to help. I know it can be hard telling someone all that personal stuff, especially since she can be a little pushy about it, but Kelly wants nothing other than to be your support. That girl cares deeply about you Sam, so don't you ever think that whatever you have on your mind isn't important enough to tell her, okay?"

"Okay," I croaked.

The old lynx chuckled. "Easier said than done, I know. Just remember to take it at a pace you're comfortable with."

After that she asked if this was the first time I'd had an episode like this, with extreme anxiety shutting me down. I told her that it had happened a couple times before (though passing out completely was a new one), and she urged me to seek out some professional help.

"This shit is no joke, Sam. Kelly and I are always here for you, but that's well beyond our pay grade. Here," she slipped a business card into my pocket, " he's an old colleague from when I worked at the hospital; should be able to help you sort your head out."

"Thank you, Misses-er, Jackie."

She smiled back at me, the pillowy softness returning to her voice.

"Anytime kiddo. Now, I think there's someone who wants to see you."

********

My claws furiously rapped against the wooden table top. I'd heard the distant mumblings of voices in the living room, but not being able to hear exactly what words were being exchanged frayed my nerves. After an excruciating wait, the sounds of squeaking floorboards heralded the return of Sam to the land of the living. He had his arm around Mom's shoulder as they slowly walked toward me. I stayed planted in my chair this time, but couldn't help myself to a wide grin at seeing Sam conscious again.

The leopard reflected a tired smile back at me before opening his free arm to invite a hug. I jumped out of my seat and squeezed Sam as hard as I could. Mom had managed to side step my grapple, and watched as we both started to pour tears into the crook of each other's neck. Sam's massive paws lightly held my waist as he leaned into me for vertical stability.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I should know when to keep my nose out of your shit."

He pulled his head up from my shoulder to look me in the eye.

"It's okay Kells, I know you mean well. I'm the one who should've been more open in the first place anyways."

He smiled, and we squeezed each other tight again.

"You can tell me anything you want any time Sam. Always."

"I love you Kells."

"I love you too, fluff butt."

If the way he hugged me back was any indication, it'd been a long time since someone told him that.