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Yo bien sé que nunca más

en mis brazos estarás

prisionera de un cariño

que fue toda mi ilusión.

Pero nada ha de poder

que te deje de querer

porque como único dueño

estás en mi corazón.

-Ernesto Lecuona, Siempre en mi Corazón

As soon as he had stepped out of the airport and into the open air, Todd caught the smell of gasoline and sweat. The summer heat seemed to oppress just about everything around him, and as the airport bustled around him, he caught sight of many travelers of all stripes. By a nearby desk, a pair of flamingos spoke in hushed Spanish; next to them, he noted a pair of mice adjusting business suits, grimacing at the way the anaconda who attended the gate kept flicking her tongue out to taste the air. He glanced around, taking in all of the business as he stood in place, his slightly bushy tail waving about behind him like a branch caught under a rock in a river.

He had been told many years ago that San Juan's airport was usually more chaotic, but as he planted himself in the walkway he noted that it seemed strangely empty. Even despite the many signs of life, Todd felt like he had been in much busier airports than even the hushed whispers he'd heard around the office suggested. Indeed, he had expected more tourists: with the start of the summer occurring, he half expected all the young students to be around. But there it was; not too many people, and he had a feeling this would be true of the island itself.

Silently, he thanked whatever otherworldly forces permitted this: it would make what he'd come to do in this one short period of twenty hours easier.

He exhaled, his ears flicking. With a slow motion, he took the backpack off of his shoulders. He opened the front pouch, and then pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it and looking at the hastily-written locations there. Some were given in exact addresses, and others were given in names of places, but they were all part of a numbered list. His itinerary would have seemed strange to any other tourist: he avoided the hotel entirely, he was not going to see very many places, and he avoided the beach right up until the very end.

But then, it was not an average vacation by any means. Todd knew this, and he also knew that to call it a vacation would be a disservice to him...

Todd nodded, closing his eyes. He smelled the air around him a second time, closing his eyes and letting the scent linger in his nostrils. All told, it was rarely a pleasant scent, and he knew this from how many airports he had been to. But the fox let his sense of smell commit it to memory: this one was different, almost. There was a strange brininess to it, probably from the ocean; there was also a distinct earthiness to it as well, one that was almost a little bit tangy. It was different from anywhere else he had ever been, and for a second, he wondered what other species might have enjoyed it, what it might have been like if the avians of the island had his sense of smell...

He opened his eyes, letting that thought slowly fade away. He then picked up his bag, before looking up at the airport signs; as he looked for the taxi stand, he hoped the small amounts of Spanish that Alejandro had taught him would be enough to get him around San Juan throughout the coming day.

----**----

I. Castillo San Cristóbal

----**----

As he stepped inside of the fort, Todd's attention turned to the walls around him. He sniffed the air once, the musty smell of water placed in a large area coming immediately to his nostrils. He guessed it was from the cisterns a short distance away, before he continued on, moving past placards. He scanned each one quietly, in his slow trek towards the top of the fort's outer walls.

As he walked, he looked over at the bricks. The fox was not able to tell just how they were kept in place, but he knew those bricks were hundreds of years old. As he walked, he could not help but feel a special desire to run his hands along the walls. He already knew how they would feel, though, just from looking at them: the bricks were rough, as they were in so many other Spanish forts from the era, and the texture of their exteriors had been worn down by time such that he could probably feel the graininess of the stone on his hand. It was a feeling he'd attempted to recreate in an art school assignment from before he met Alejandro, and given how much his hand itched for the contact he knew his experiments were successful.

He ascended a staircase, and he could hear the quiet sounds of waves crashing into a wall from a distance. Although he knew the wall of the sea was right there. he could tell he was at least decently high up from the ground. There, the smell of the briny sea intensified, and the light began to grow so bright he had to slow down to allow his eyes time to adjust to the burst of light.

Todd then stepped back out into the sun, and there he beheld the main reason for his visit: the massive Ordoñez gun that sat at the top of the fort. The lip of the cannon hung over the edge of the wall, and as Todd stepped forward, he admired the size of the wheels. The gun was big, much bigger than he had imagined, and the cast iron almost glowed more than he would have expected it to. There it was: that reminder of the old world he never thought he'd see.

He approached the gun, hesitating slightly before placing a hand on the black iron. The iron felt rough under his fingers, and perhaps a little hot owing to the heat that blasted down from above. He felt the creases in the iron gently, noting how old it must have been as he made sure not to disturb the gun. He glanced down to the wheels, and seeing how huge they were, he briefly wondered how many men must have been required to move it. He looked up its barrel, looking along at the way it stretched over. And of course, there was the large hole in the back of the barrel close to where he was, and he began to wonder how they would load these guns.

And then, of course, he remembered that he'd gotten a small crash course in the many intricacies of the gun...

----**----

"It actually would've been less powerful than the guns Spain got to defend the motherland."

_ "Really? Why is that?"_

_ "Ordoñez guns were made out of iron, which isn't quite like steel in terms of strength. Because of that, you have lower range, lower muzzle velocity, and a lower payload. Not super useful, you see."_

_ "So then why the heck would you get those guns for the colonies?"_

_ "Because they're cheap, so you can get more of them. Spain was a pretty big empire back in those days, and they weren't above cost-cutting as their colonialism marched on."_

_ "Oh, I don't doubt it."_

_ "It did wind up haunting them during the Spanish-American War, though. American ships basically parked outside the range of these guns and fired away without any problems whatsoever. If it hadn't been Uncle Sam, it would've been other people, because the Spanish were the only ones that had these types of guns. Meant that the war was pretty much a bust for the Spanish on the naval side."_

_ "Yeah, I can see that. It must be pretty wild."_

_ Todd looked up from where he sat at the couch. Alejandro sat next to him, the lovebird pointing out the sketch of the ordoñez gun to him. Todd noticed the various equations doodled all around the gun, and the way the graphite almost smudged against the paper. The notes had been erased and re-erased multiple times, but it just added a little bit of charm to it._

_ Todd looked up at the lovebird, his eyes moving past his bulging muscles to look at the red feathers surrounding his eyes. "That must've been a pretty big disappointment when you found out there were more powerful guns, though," Todd replied._

_ Alejandro shrugged. "No," he said. "If anything, it blew my mind that there were guns out there more powerful than this." He shrugged, leaning back. "I mean, think about it, Todd. You go up those little spiral stairs to the top of the wall, and right when you step outside you see a big gun. You look at it for a second, you marvel at it, and then you go home. Then, you find out there's a bigger gun. And then, you wonder: what sorts of things make a gun more powerful than that, you know?"_

_ "And now, it's your job," said Todd._

_ Alejandro smiled, his beak curving gently as he pulled Todd closer. "And now it's my job." He smiled, gently licking Todd's ear as the fox wrapped his arms around him. "It's quite the effect, having that a short distance away from your home. That's one of the only three Ordoñez guns left in the world, you know."_

_ "Have you seen the other two?" asked Todd._

_ "Well, one of them is in Havana, so unless the travel ban to Cuba gets lifted I don't think I ever will," Alejandro replied. "And the other one is badly damaged, so there would be no point, unless you were to get me to figure out how it got damaged just by looking at it. So as it is, San Juan is the only place in the world anyone can go to see one."_

_ "Oh, so it's extra special?" Todd asked. He then leaned forward, gently pecking Alejandro on the cheek. "Then we'll just have to add it to the list of destinations, won't we?"_

_ "I guess we will," he said. He then turned towards Todd, licking his nose. "I can't wait to geek out about this with the gun right there!"_

_ "And I can't wait to hear you talk about it more when we see it in person," Todd replied, rubbing Alejandro's cheek with an errant thumb as he kissed that bright beak._

----**----

"Oye, ¡no puede tocar eso! ¡No puede tocar!"

Todd was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of one of the guards shouting at him. He paused, his ears folding back as he looked at the avian guard that rushed up the stairs. He peeled back almost immediately, before guiltily flattening his tail against his leg. He felt a small amount of shame there, one that only increased as the guard moved closer to him.

"Lo siento," Todd replied. "Yo... yo... ah, ¿como se dice...?"

The guard waved dismissively. "It does not matter," he said, switching to English. "You no touch the cannon."

"Sorry, sorry..."

Todd immediately walked away, feeling the guard glare at his back the entire time. He then stopped, letting his all-black attire billow in the wind briefly before he began to walk towards the stairway back down.

And as he walked, he felt the weight of the object in his backpack more acutely. His pace slowed to a stop as he walked down the stairs; he wound up standing there for a second before he turned, his eyes resting on the cannon again. In the whispers of the wind, he could almost recall what Alejandro had once told him about the gun, the way his voice lilted with each word, the way his arms would excitedly raise, the way he would point at a diagram and ask Todd just how amazing it was.

The fox sighed: the wind was the only reminder, but even it could not fully conjure up his intonation, his mannerisms, his excitement.

He sighed. Even despite the fact it was a weaker gun, it was still a grand gun. It loomed over the ocean, a sentinel against a phantom army that it would never get the chance to fire at again. Todd felt almost protected, even knowing how Alejandro would have gone on about it being made of iron and how little protection it must have offered against American fleets. It was a small comfort, but even the small comforts were welcome along this short journey.

Todd finally closed his eyes, letting the imprint of the Ordoñez gun stay in his mind. He knew that the likelihood of him returning to San Juan was very small, and so he made sure to commit the image to memory. He thought about the way the light glinted off of the gun, the gentle crash of the waves, the blow of the breeze against his face.

Finally, he turned. As he made his way down the stairs, he riffled through his pocket; when he opened his eyes, he began to calculate in his head how long it would take him to get to his next destination by foot.

----**----

**II. Museo de Arte e Historia de San Juan

**

----**----

The museum had actually turned out to be a good deal larger than Todd had anticipated. He hadn't really heard much about it before he'd met Alejandro, and so he expected it to be smaller. What he got instead was actually quite interesting--art specifically from Puerto Rico, splayed out across a couple of rooms, and carefully curated the way he knew any good museum would. It did warm his heart quite a bit that it existed.

But it was the parrot sculptures he had encountered in the gallery room that had really managed to lift his spirits for the first time since he had landed. He admired the use of material there: like most modern Hispanic sculpture, it made no attempt to be realistic. Here, he noticed the way the bright colors almost exploded all over the various metals of the statue, giving a vivid brightness to the metallic, larger-than-life feathers that sprung from all over the parrots. And their expressions all seemed joyous, and almost neglected how their bodies almost contorted in a mass of metal sticks and plates.

Their craftsmanship was obvious to Todd. He suspected it would have been lost on Alejandro, though.

He continued down the row of statues, watching as they became more boisterous, more extroverted. They all remained about the size of Todd's outstretched hand, but the poses grew more outlandish as he went. One seemed to swing at an imaginary ball with a far bendier bat than such a sport would ever have called for, another one pulled an exaggerated dancing pose with a partner whose dress seemed to cut through the air like a curved blade, and another one seemed hunched over a concave desk, his head exaggeratedly big.

And then, Todd came to the end of the row of statues. There it was: a strong parrot, reclining on the couch, the brim of a dark green hat hanging over his eyes. He laid on the couch, the couch's curvature almost betraying how peaceful the parrot looked. He laid back, the colors of his bare torso more vibrant than most. It was the statue he had seen in promotional materials, and Todd approached it, standing still in front of it as he crossed his arms before him.

It was the piece he had come to see. He would have toured the museum with Alejandro before, showed him how much he loved Hispanic art and the eccentricity with which it flaunted life. But there it was; Todd was alone, with only a statue to recall him by. The pose, too, was similar to something else Todd had experienced.

And as he closed his eyes, he exhaled, bowing his head towards the statue...

----**----

"Hey, sit still! I can't paint you if you can't sit still!"

_ "Aw, but I thought you liked free tickets to the gun show!"_

_ "Not when I'm trying to paint you! Come on, it's hard to get a good reference when you can't stop moving your arm like that!"_

_ "Come on, Todd, you don't need to be a square like that!"_

_ "Oh my God, Alejandro, I swear to--fine. Sit still, or you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"_

_ "You wouldn't dare!"_

_ "Try me, honey."_

_ Alejandro stopped, before staring at the way Todd narrowed his eyes. It was a playful glare, he knew, and while Alejandro could see the slight curve of the fox's muzzle he knew that the fox had a very good poker face when he wanted it to be. The parrot sighed, before leaning back on the couch, draping his arm over the edge and letting his bare torso rest on the chair. He fluffed his feathers slightly, letting them merely hint at the strong musculature beneath._

_ "Fine, fine," he said. He then raised his other hand so it rested behind his head, unable to resist one last flex as he placed his arm against the cushion he'd left there. "That any better?"_

_ Todd's glare melted away, and he smiled. "Much," he said. He then grabbed his brush, before looking at the array of colors that surrounded him. He started by grabbing his thinnest brush, dabbing it in one particularly light shade of green. "Now hold still: if you're perfectly still, I can finish your torso today."_

_ "Gotcha," said Alejandro. He adjusted his position slightly, before looking down at the multiple palettes before Todd. "So why watercolors?"_

_ Todd smiled as he looked to Alejandro once. "I like how vibrant watercolors can be," he said. He then began to paint the outline of Alejandro's torso, moving with slow, methodical strokes to make sure he got the shape just right._

_ "Vibrant?" asked Alejandro. "I've always thought watercolors were more muted."_

_ "Ah, see, that's how they are on darker colors," said Todd as he continued to paint. "But there are no brighter greens on the planet than a watercolor green, in my estimation." He winked at Alejandro. "You'll see when this is done, trust me. And then you'll thank me that I got your most flattering angle."_

_ Alejandro chuckled as Todd's brush met the paper once again. "I'll keep that in mind," he said. He then sighed happily, settling in a little more. "Seriously, though, I'm flattered. If you had told me that I would be a painter's muse for them to do a watercolor portrait three months ago, I would've called you crazy. But..."_

_ And Todd only smiled at this. "Hey, it's_ my pleasure, not yours," he said. "You're a beautiful man, and I'm all about capturing that."

_ Alejandro sighed, smiling as he glanced up to the ceiling. "Thanks," he said. "You don't know what that means to me, being where we are, what I am and all."_

_ Todd's smile broadened, and as he turned to his paper his paint strokes grew a little bolder. He said nothing, letting the brush strokes do all the talking as he began to fill in a little more detail work. On one brush, he glanced over to the cup of clear water, thinking about how soon he would have to dip into it to cleanse his paint brush and continue on._

_ "There, got an outline," he said. He then paused, dipping his brush in the clear water just enough to get some--but not all--of the watercolor out of his brush. "Now I've got to shade it a little bit."_

_ "And that's what the light is for?" asked Alejandro._

_ "Yes," Todd said. He then glanced at Alejandro, seeing the way the light played on his pecs, shone off of the feathers that barely hid their outline. The way the light played off of them and emphasized them in the darkened room only heightened how much they bulged, and it stirred something perhaps a little too primal in the fox. And as he felt such a primal stirring, he could not help but let out a sigh of desire._

_ The sigh did not escape the love bird's notice. "Heh, you really do want to touch them after all," he said._

_ Todd blinked, before quickly turning back to his paper and painting the first shading in. "Just checking the lighting," he said, perhaps a little too quickly. "You can't exactly erase watercolor, you know."_

_ "Suuuuure."_

_ And as Todd began to work on shading in the next darkest shade on Alejandro's portrait, he blushed, and thus had to contend with Alejandro's knowing smirk each time he looked back to check the way the lighting played on Alejandro's body._

----**----

"Excuse me, sir, are you alright?"

Todd blinked in surprise, his ears twitching slightly. He turned, seeing a young canine gallery attendant, her eyes shielded by large glasses. The way her ears were perked told him she was intensely interested in why he had managed to stand so still in front of those statues, and the little clipboard she held close to her breast indicated at least some importance.

Todd blinked, looking over at the canine in surprise. "O-oh, yes, sorry." He looked back at the statues. "Just feeling..." He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Would you be surprised if I told you it stirred something familiar?"

The gallery attendant smiled. "That's alright," she said warmly. "That's actually one of our more popular pieces in the museum right now. I'm surprised a foreigner would take to it so well, though."

Todd blinked, looking at himself for a second. He then chuckled, his ears folding back as he scratched the back of his head. "Right, foxes aren't common in Puerto Rico," he said under his breath. He shrugged, looking back at the statues. "Let's just say I would have taken a friend here, one time." He looked back to the statues. "He'd have liked seeing statues of his species."

The attendant's ears tilted. "Long story?"

Todd nodded, closing his eyes as he let out a sigh. "Not really, but..." He shrugged. "It can be tough to talk about.

The museum attendant's ears folded back, and after a second she gave an understanding nod. "I see," she said. She then put on her best reassuring smile. "Well, the artist is a love bird himself, and he did want to catch the vivacity of his species in that series of sculptures."

Todd smiled, looking back at the statues. "He certainly did a great job of that," he said. He then turned to the museum attendant. "Sorry, was there anything else you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, sir, the museum will be closing in about ten minutes, so you should probably start making your way to an exit," the attendant replied.

"Oh." Todd's ears flattened against his head again, and this time his tail stiffened as well. "I see... Jeez, was I really standing there in front of those statues for that long?"

"You lose track of time when you... ah..." She paused, rubbing the back of her ears as one of them fell to the side. "I don't know the word. But I think you know what I'm talking about."

"Of course," Todd replied. "I'll go ahead and get out. The nearest exit is close by, I gather?"

"Yes," said the attendant. "If you have any other questions, I'll be right here."

Todd nodded, the fox placing his hands in his pockets. "Thank you."

"Whatever you need," the attendant replied.

With this, she turned away, resuming her post at the mouth to the next gallery. Todd nodded, looking at the gallery exit. He took a few steps towards it, gauging how many more rooms he had to go through and if he could fit a few last glances at a few pieces in the time it took him to get to the exit.

And right at the aperture where one gallery room met the next, he turned back to the statues. The statues were a little small, but even from that distance he was able to make out the vibrancy of the colored metal. The movements, while smaller, were no less impactful, and from that distance they almost created a miniature city of vivacity. He was briefly reminded of the watercolors he used to paint Alejandro on those days so long ago. He could only imagine how the love bird would have smiled to see such art, to see his species presented in such a way.

With a final flick of his tail, Todd turned, making to exit the museum. After all, his journey was still not over.

----**----

III. Abuela Mercedes

----**----

Todd checked his watch as he came upon the apartment building. If Alejandro had been correct about Abuela Mercedes' famous Sunday dinners, they would likely be starting at that juncture. He only hoped that Alejandro's parents had been good about informing the love bird's grandmother about his impending arrival.

He then knocked on the door. As he stepped back, he looked around at the building he was in. It smelled a little musty to him, probably some left-over water damage from the hurricane. The lights at least worked, though, and the hallway felt relatively cool compared to the warm air outside. He figured it was probably a product of being in a better neighborhood than most: Alejandro's grandmother had taken up residence in Old San Juan, after all, and from what he had seen walking in it was a rather well-kept area of town.

He'd only just gotten around to noting what type of paint was on the walls when he heard the latch on the door unlock. He swiveled his ears towards the door, and then turned his head to see a diminuitive love bird standing there. Age had clearly not been kind to her, as her movements were a little lethargic, but her feathers were as vibrant as any Todd had seen on any other people. And when she looked up at him, her smile was warm and gentle.

"Ey, ¡está el zorrito de Alejandro!" she said. She smiled. "I thought you were no coming for a second."

"Sorry, ma'am," Todd replied. "I did get a little lost on the way here. I hope I'm not intruding."

The old love bird shook her head, before opening her arms. "Por favor, mi hijo, no digas eso!"

With this, she pulled Todd into a tight hug. This caught the fox off guard, but after a second, he reciprocated it, even knowing he had to bend down slightly to do so. He patted her back, before standing up upon hearing more footsteps there.

"Abuela Mercedes, ¿no es--?" And with this, Todd looked up, before seeing a couple other love birds there. Both were adults, looking to be in their twenties, and in the slight reddishness of the taller one's feathers Todd recognized Alejandro's younger brother Jose. They all smiled upon seeing Todd, and as soon as Abuela Mercedes had released him, Todd stepped forward.

"Hey, Jose," Todd replied. "Sorry if I'm a little late."

"Hey, we got started on the mofongo a little late today," Jose replied. "It's not a problem!" He then stepped back, looking to the love bird that accompanied him. "Oh, I don't know if you've met Anita yet?"

The second love bird stepped forward, extending her hand out to Todd. "Un placer," she said.

Todd smiled, shaking her hand gently. "I guess you got over Consuelo rather fast, eh?" he asked.

Jose blinked, his brows tilting in strange ways. "Zorrito, what do you take me for, a womanizer?" he asked. "I still think about her sometimes. But Anita here is very sweet." He paused, before chuckling. "Also, you'll have to forgive her, but her English is not so good."

Todd chuckled, looking to her. "Eso va a estar... interesante," he said. "Mi español no está muy bien."

Anita giggled. "Ay, no está tan malo," she said. "¡Está mucho más mejor que mi Inglés!"

Todd nodded, before stepping into the home. "Nos vemos," he said. He then watched as Abuela Mercedes closed the door behind him. "So the mofongo is almost ready?"

"Yes," Jose replied. "You got here just as she was about to form the balls." He then turned to Todd. "She could use a little help there, with that."

"Ay, no, Jose, por favor," she said. "¡El zorrito está nuestro invitado!" She then turned to Todd. "Do not worry about me. There is water and a little Don Q at the table."

Todd lifted his hand. "Oh, no, it's really no trouble at all," he said. "If you need help, I'm--"

"Oye, mi hijo, I have done this for nearly thirty-five years," she said. "I may be slow in my old age, but it is not meaning I cannot do it!" She waved him off. "I will do fine. Go enjoy yourself."

Todd chuckled nervously, and as Abuela Mercedes shuffled into the kitchen, Todd turned, walking into the dining room. Jose and Anita followed, and as soon as Todd was there he pulled a chair up at the dining table, chuckling nervously as he looked to the Don Q bottle in the center of the table.

"Wow, Alejandro was not kidding when he said she was domineering," Todd replied as he sat down.

"She's a mom: she has to," said Jose. "If nobody else is gonna keep order in the hose, then that goes to her." He leaned back against a wall, sighing as he looked at Anita. "Well, I'm glad you could finally come to meet her."

"Same," said Todd. "I've heard so many stories about her, and I have to say, so far she's living up to them quite well."

"Yeah. Let me tell you, it is difficult to exaggerate with stories about her!" Jose nodded, looking back to the kitchen as Abuela Mercedes moved them there. "I feel like you may be the first person for this dinners that is not from Puerto Rico!"

"Puedo creerlo..." Todd replied. He then chuckled. "Perdóname, yo sé que sueno como un Gringo quando hablo español."

But Anita could only laugh at this. "Bueno, Todd, ¡es lindo!" she said. "Pero bueno, puedo hacer mucho menos tiraderos que hago a los otros Gringos quién sé yo."

Todd nodded, only understanding about half of that. "Thank you," he said.

He then shrugged, looking around the apartment. It looked exactly the way he expected it to: to the side, there was a table with pictures of the grandchildren and cousins in various graduation, wedding, and candid pictures. He looked up, and there he saw an old television set, of the kind that still had the channel knob on the side. He almost chuckled at this, seeing the collection of old VHS tapes and other memorabilia scattered about the room.

And then, he caught sight of a picture there, one that hung over the table of pictures. He stood up, walking towards it with raised ears. He knew those colors that almost graced that paper better than most: it was the watercolor portrait of Alejandro he had drawn. The greens did indeed pop on the paper, and against the light blue wall paint he realized just how much more they popped. He felt a brief sense of relief that he'd painted Alejandro in shorts, but this was quickly overtaken by the placement of the picture, where it almost looked more beautiful and powerful than Todd had remembered drawing.

Anita nodded. "O, eres esto zorrito," she said.

Todd nodded, his jaw hanging open. "Yes," he said. He then turned to Jose. "He never told me he'd sent this here." He nodded, sighing as he looked back at Jose. "He told me he'd sent it to family because they wanted to see it, but here...?"

"Hey, you know what they say, zorrito," Jose replied with a smile.

Todd paused, exhaling as he glanced to the side. "I'm not sure," said Todd. "At least, he never told me what it is they say..."

Jose's smile only braodened. Before he could reply, however, they heard shuffling footsteps. "Oye, Jose, ¡el mofongo está listo yá!" Abuela Mercedes shouted from the kitchen.

Todd's ears swiveled back at how loud she was, but Jose was all smiles. "Vengo, Abuela Mercedes." He then turned to Todd. "Come on. Let's get you fed, yeah? You've probably had a very long day today."

"That's one way to put it," said Todd.

With this, Jose walked into the kitchen. Todd followed behind him shortly afterward, and then he watched as Abuela Mercedes put that familiar plantain cylinder inside the chicken broth that he remembered so well from whenever Alejandro would make it...

----**----

"And there it is, Todd: mofongo."

_ Todd looked down at the plate, blinking in surprise. Whatever this_ mofongo was looked extremely odd to him: it was a little yellow cylinder, one whose surface looked quite a bit like gravel. The chicken broth underneath looked appetizing, but the rest of the dish was like nothing that Todd had ever seen, such that he was caught off guard.

_ And then, he leaned in and smelled it: it smelled quite a bit more savory than Todd expected out of something with fruit. There was a slight smokiness to it, and the slight hit of salt at the end was a very tickled his nose in a very interesting way. He had expected it to smell like a mess, but what he actually smelled was harmonious, and very tempting._

He leaned back, his eyes widening in surprise. "Wow, that smells good!" He smiled. "Didn't expect meat and banana to go well."

_ "Plantain, thank you," said Alejandro as he sat down with his own plate of the dish. "Plantains and bananas are_ not the same thing!"

_ "They sure look like it, though," said Todd._

_ Alejandro rolled his eyes. "And that's why I'm here," he said. "If you must know, plantains are actually not sweet the way bananas are." He paused, frowning. "Well, not_ oversweet_, anyway. So that pairs well with savory stuff. You see how all those Cubans go on about their_ tostones and all those Central American guys love their maduros_, and yeah, those are all great." He then gestured to the plate in front of him. "But none of them even holds a candle to Abuela Mercedes'_ mofongo_."_

_ "Okay, okay, I'll take your word for it." Todd grabbed a fork, before pausing. "And this is how you always make it?"_

_ "Yeah," said Alejandro. "Folks will say you can do it with braised meat, but it's just not the same, you know?"_

_ Todd nodded, looking down at his plate. "You know, even without biting into it, I get the feeling I know exactly what you mean." He then nodded, before grabbing his knife and gently sticking the fork into the cylinder. "Well, here goes."_

_ He then cut a small piece of it out. Todd was a little surprised at seeing the little cracklings of pork skin inside, but he paid it no mind as he soaked the plantain a little in the chicken broth at the bottom. He then carefully hoisted the whole thing, before bringing it to his mouth and biting down._

_ It was like no bite he'd ever had before: the salt came through most of all, but the plantains themselves were exactly as Alejandro had described. It all came together in his mouth, and in response Todd could only lean forward, his eyes wide in surprise at just how good it was._

_ Alejandro chuckled. "You see?"_

_ Todd swallowed, chuckling slightly as soon as the food had passed his throat. "I do," he said. "Holy hell, that's good!"_

_ Alejandro nodded. "Not as good as my_ abuela_'s, but it will do," he said. He then smiled. "It always takes me back, you know? Back to Sunday dinners with her and Abuelo Miguel." He leaned back. "He'd have his guitar out, and he'd sing us all a bunch of songs."_

_ "Really?" asked Todd as he prepared his next bite. "Hopefully not while you were all eating!"_

_ "Oh, no, no, nothing like that," Alejandro replied with a wave of his hand. "Mostly it was to keep us entertained while the adults in the family talked about politics, America, the weather, all of that. It was some damn good entertainment until I was old enough to actually watch those war movies I used to watch as a teen."_

_ "And then the food would get served?" Todd asked._

_ "That it would," said Alejandro as he picked up the spoon. "I remember Abuela Mercedes used to shake her head at him from where she stood when she came into the room. All the lyrics were really silly, you see, and sometimes not the kind of thing a kid should be hearing, you know?" He smiled. "And Jose would always giggle right along, and because of that she could never hold her aggravated expression for long."_

_ "It sounds like a lovely family dinner," Todd said, smiling just before he shoveled another mouthful of_ mofongo into his muzzle.

_ "It was." Alejandro's spoon cut into his cylinder, but then he paused, before leaning forward. "She actually still makes mofongo for Jose and whatever girlfriend he has at the moment."_

_ Todd rose his eyebrows, grinning. "Well, when you put it that way, that sounds like an invitation to add it to the list of destinations we need to make in San Juan."_

_ Alejandro sighed. "We'll see," he said. "You know how she is about my sexuality."_

"Oh yeah..."

Todd sighed, some of the joy deflated out of the room. The two of them remained in silence, looking down to the plates of food before them as the smiles fell from their faces. Any discussion of Abuela Mercedes usually ended in an awkward silence no matter how merrily it had started. Todd looked to the plate of mofongo before him, thinking about how Abuela Mercedes still had trouble.

Todd then leaned forward. "Well, she hasn't disowned you yet," he said. "There's still time for her to come around there."

"I guess there is." Alejandro's expression lightened up somewhat. He then lifted his spoon, moving it towards Todd. "I'll eat to that."

_ Todd lifted his spoon, getting some more_ mofongo on it. "Cheers."

_ And with this, Alejandro and Todd clinked spoons, before continuing to eat dinner._

----**----

Todd grabbed the sponge, soaking it in a little water. He then ran it around the dish quickly, making sure to rub a little harder at the spot where a small piece of plantain had stuck to the plate. He looked back at Abuela Mercedes, who was doing similarly at the sink next to him.

"Oye, zorrito, are you sure?" she asked. "I not want to say you must do this to stay here."

"Oh, no, it's no trouble at all," Todd replied. "I just wanted to help, was all."

Abuela Mercedes nodded. "You lucky Jose left_,_" she replied.

_ _ Todd smiled, rinsing the plate in question. "I'm guessing he would have shouted at me about 'oh, you're a guest, stop working here, you need to rest'?"

"Algo como asi," Abuela Mercedes replied.

Todd smiled, before placing the plate in the dish rack by the sink. "You know, I think I've been around this family too long," he said. "It's starting to get scarily predictable how well I know them."

But Abuela Mercedes smiled, finishing on her plate and placing it on the rack as well. "Bueno, you loved my grandson_," she said, giving an additional shrug. "He must have talked about family, and even more when you met them._"

Todd nodded, finishing his plate as he placed it there. "I suppose." He paused, before looking to the side. "You know, he made me mofongo after we started talking about visiting San Juan. I don't know how he found plantains in Tallahassee, but he did."

Abuela Mercedes' smile kept up. "And he told you the stories about Sunday dinner?"

"Yep." Todd leaned back against the kitchen counter. "And he made mofongo exactly as you would." He sighed, glancing to the side. "He was never fully happy with his attempts to make it, though. He always said yours was better."

"I think, zorrito, it was his... eh... his past talking," said Abuela Mercedes. "You know he made mofongo with me some times before he left San Juan? He wanted to learn it." She shook her head. "His was better."

Todd blinked, before chuckling nervously and scratching at the back of his head. "Somehow, I don't think he would've taken that compliment," he said.

Abuela Mercedes nodded. "I think the same."

A comfortable silence spread over the apartment then. And in the silence, Todd shuffled his feet, taking a deep breath in. He realized only then how much he had avoided talking about the elephant in the room: or rather, the picture, as it were. He paused, and it was with a swish of his tail that he realized time was still going.

Thus, he turned to Abuela Mercedes, sighing. "So... I saw the watercolor of Alejandro on the wall earlier."

Abuela Mercedes nodded. "Yes," she said, in English this time. "Is very pretty." She then looked up, frowning. "You object?"

"Oh no, no!" Todd stood up, waving his hands in front of him. "I was just surprised, is all." He shrugged, before leaning back against the counter. "I didn't expect you'd put that there for everyone to see, in this part of the world." He shook his head. "I mean... I know how much that picture meant to him, and he wanted his parents to have it afterwards. What is it doing here?"

Abuela Mercedes nodded. "I wanted a reminder of him," she said. "And for me, that reminds me of him, when he was so happy."

She shrugged, before turning to the dining room table, looking over everything there. "When he first... came out?" she said.

"Yeah, that's the right term," said Todd.

The old lovebird nodded, her expression growing more serious but no less warm. "When he came out to me, I could not understand it," she said. "I thought it was one of those phases. Como los jovenes tienen, ¿sí?" She leaned back, shaking her head. "I did not get it. And then he met you."

She turned to Todd, walking forward and gently gripping his hands. "All I hear when he met you was how... how _maravilloso_you are. I was not like his mother and father, who understood before and heard it without question. I still thought it would pass."

Her gaze turned to the doorway. Todd noted that the table with the pictures was directly in her line of sight, and while he knew the painting in question faced away from him, he knew what she was thinking of.

"I saw it in his parents' house," she continued. "They told me how long he said it took you two to finish that." She paused, looking to the side. "I talked with Alejandro after, and the way he talked when he said what it was like to pose for you..." She smiled then, her eyes glistening with moisture. "He was so ecstatic. And there were so many things he remembered about it, down to how you put the lightbulbs in the room. And he said it with such a speed, such a rhythm... And there was a... a... I think the word is fondness, that he spoke with when he talked about you...

"Was then I knew it was not a phase. He talked exactly like his mother when she first met his father." She shook her head again, turning to Todd. "When he came, he always said to me how he would bring you here someday. Last time I saw him, I said to him, 'I will throw him a big'... como se dice...?"

"Party?" asked Todd.

"Yes, party," Abuela Mercedes replied. She then breathed in. "He said so many stories to me, zorrito. And how he talked about them..."

Todd nodded, his ears slowly flattening against his head. "He talked about you all the time, too," he said. "I think... I think I might've heard about that. I remember when he came home from visiting San Juan the last time. He smiled more broadly than I'd ever seen him smile, when he told me you understood." He breathed in, his eyes going moist. "That was all he'd ever wanted, was for you to understand."

Abuela Mercedes then leaned forward, and Todd could see the tears forming in her own eyes as she stepped forward. She then placed her hands on Todd's arms. She breathed in, Todd immediately noticing the way her shoulders seemed to heave as she closed her eyes. It was then that he saw the tears begin to run down her cheeks.

Finally, she turned to face him. "Gracias," she said. "It was the happiest two years he had."

Todd sniffled, before nodding. He then stepped forward, and the two of them hugged each other. Todd held the older love bird close, rubbing her back soothingly even as he himself felt tears he'd thought long shed threaten to fall down his cheeks. They held this position for a while, Todd gently patting her back as they both gave themselves a minute for the tears to run their course.

And then, he pulled away. He exhaled, his shoulders drooping at the end of the exhale. Abuela Mercedes nodded, before looking over to the bag that rested against the dining room table.

"¿Están las cenizas en el bulto?" she asked.

Todd nodded. "I'm going to go early in the morning," he said. "Hopefully I'll be back early enough that you can prepare breakfast before I leave."

Abuela Mercedes nodded. "I will be ready," she said. She breathed in, grasping Todd's hands. "You should go to bed, then. I made a bed in the other bedroom. Here." She then began to walk out of the kitchen. "It is this way."

Todd followed after her slowly, not even trying to find the room first as Abuela Mercedes shuffled towards a door that adjoined to the dining room.

----**----

IV. Playa El Escambrón

----**----

Todd at last arrived at his destination, his backpack feeling lighter than ever. He had departed from Abuela Mercedes' house early: he planned to make a stop at her residence again before he returned to the airport, but four in the morning was probably the only time that Todd could afford to head to the beach without being noticed by too many people. His backpack was no longer on his shoulders: it lay before him, nestled comfortably in his lap. Todd had no thought for this, but looked directly ahead to the east: in silent vigil, he waited for the sun's first light to peek over the Atlantic.

The wait was agonizing: Todd briefly began to wonder if he had come too early.

Part of that, he admitted, was that he was hoping to avoid crowds. However, even close to six o'clock in the morning, nobody really showed up anywhere close to the Playa El Escambrón. However, Todd heard no sounds of a chattering crowd behind him even when he swiveled his ears to check. The only sounds that surrounded him were the gentle fizz of the ocean waves and the caws of the earliest of the rising gulls. All else was silence.

Todd closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in. He smelled the same brininess he noticed when he first stepped out of the airport at San Juan, but realized how it dominated every other scent he could pick up. There was a strange tint to it, almost as if the smells of the land were far away. That was one thing Todd had never liked about the Pensacola beaches, and now that he was there in San Juan he realized how nice it was when the smell of city oil did not permeate the ocean's natural scent.

It was the only comfort he had as he hugged his backpack close to him. A part of him never wanted to let go of the backpack, of the precious cargo that lay within. He had carried it around with him all throughout the previous day, and the temptation to remove it had been almost overpowering at points. He would have liked nothing more than to open it, to show it to the world as he went on his world tour.

But he obeyed. Alejandro would have wanted nothing less.

Slowly, Todd turned, looking back at the beach behind him. It was tranquil, not a soul lurking behind him. Even the life guard tower close by seemed empty. He noted how still it was: apart from the first gulls rising to catch the fish, it was an unusually peaceful beach. Todd thought to how Alejandro had always bemoaned the beach's tendency to bring out the worst in tourists.

And he thought about how wonderful Alejandro had been when they went to the beach for the first time.

----**----

Todd's fur immediately stood on end as he entered the water. The cold travelled up his leg like ice, and the feeling was so acute he could not help but scramble out of it. He let out a yelp as he did, shivering as soon as he was fully out of the water.

_ Alejandro's laughter trumpeted over the water, and as Todd looked back he saw the love bird nearly fall back into the water. As he did, he blinked in shock, the lower part of his muzzle hanging open as he shook his head._

_ "What!?" Todd asked in outrage. "How are you so used to that water!?"_

_ "Like I said,_ zorrito_, you go in slowly!" Alejandro grinned, before swimming back to the shore where Todd stood. "It is not so bad when you go in slowly, you know?"_

_ "No, I don't," said Todd._

_ Alejandro chuckled. "And you are the ones used to cold air,_ zorrito_." He then smiled, taking Todd's hand and gently guiding him back to the water. "Here, we'll go in a little bit at a time."_

_ "What if I freeze to death before I get halfway in?" Todd asked._

_ Alejandro looked at the sun as it blared overhead. "Oh, don't be a drama queen, Todd_," he said. He then turned his attention back to Todd, gently placing a hand against the fox's lower back. "Come, you'll see."

_ And with this, Alejandro slowly led him into the water. Todd's toes touched the water again, and Todd felt the iciness of the water send a shockwave up his leg. He jolted, but Alejandro's steady hand remained there, gently rubbing his back in reassurance. The fox turned to the love bird, his ears pointing straight up at the sky as he realized how long his foot lingered in the water, and as he breathed in and out harshly, Alejandro could only smile reassuringly at him._

_ "There, there," the love bird replied, slowly leading Todd further into the water. "You see? It is not so bad when you take it slowly."_

_ And indeed, Todd noticed that, as time went on, his body did not feel so cold as it traversed deeper into the water. It was with a little more shock that he finally registered that he was actually already waist-deep in the ocean water. And as soon as he realized this, he sighed, looking back to Alejandro with a smile._

_ "I guess you were right," he said. He rubbed the back of his head. "God, I feel silly now."_

_ "It's a learning curve," Alejandro replied._

_ Todd noticed with a small sense of surprise that Alejandro's hand had not left the small of his back. He smiled, before Alejandro began to walk him forward._

_ "Any destination we have in mind?" asked Todd._

_ "There's a sand bar over there," Alejandro replied. "If we're quick, we could probably sit in there for a little bit. See the ocean."_

_ Todd nodded. As the two of them began to make way to the sand bar in question, though, Todd frowned._

_ "See the ocean?" asked Todd. "Don't you see it all the time, though?"_

_ But Alejandro only smiled that easy smile that Todd loved so much. "You can never see the ocean enough times,_ zorrito_," he replied. "And in every place, it is different."_

_ "Really?" Todd asked as they began to ascend onto the sand bar. "Huh. I figured that you would have been spoiled for the ocean growing up in San Juan the way you did." He blinked as he began to step out of the water, the sand bar raising him slightly. "Or is the ocean there not as pretty as it is made out to be?"_

_ "Oh, it is the most beautiful ocean you will ever see," he said. "But you know me: I am not that much of an elitist that I think no other ocean is beautiful as well." Alejandro followed Todd onto the sandbar, before he sat down, the water coming halfway up his impressive calves. "Here, sit."_

_ Todd nodded, taking up a seat in Alejandro's lap. And then, he leaned back, sighing as he felt the warmth of the love bird's torso radiate on his back. The waves lapped at their legs, and there was something calming about it. The fox let Alejandro place a hand against his stomach, and he leaned back, the two of them basking in each other for a second._

_ Finally, Alejandro breathed in. "I like dark oceans," he said. "That's what I notice about the ocean in Florida: it's kind of dark and a little bit green."_

_ Todd blinked, looking back up at Alejandro. "I hear the waters in the Carribean are crystal-clear."_

_ "The clearest ocean you will ever see," said Alejandro. "On the best days, you can look down at your toes, and then the fishes will be swimming between your legs right there. And it's such a bright blue, too, from a distance. And the sand is the smoothest in all the world."_

_ "It sounds wonderful," said Todd._

_ "Yeah," said Alejandro. "It's beautiful."_

_ "You almost make me wonder why you ever left," Todd replied._

_ "Work takes me elsewhere, you know," said Alejandro. "And for me right now, Tallahassee is the best place for me to sort of set a home base. There's good networking, the base... All of that."_

_ Todd nodded. He then watched the way the waves played in the wind, the froth that came to the crests of the waves. And there, he watched a flock of seagulls touch down at the sand bar a short distance away from him and Alejandro. They picked through, shaking their wings of moisture every so often._

_ Finally, Todd leaned back. "When you go to San Juan, I want to come back with you," he said._

_ Even though he could not see it, Todd had the feeling that Alejandro's smile had broadened wider than ever. "It would be my honor to show you the town I lived," he said. "I think you'll love it there. It's charming, old, beautiful..."_

_ Todd smiled, turning his muzzle towards Alejandro. "I can't wait to see it."_

_ Alejandro smiled, his hand idly scratching behind the fox's ear. "I can't wait to show you."_

_ And with this, the two of them sat back, watching the play of the waves in silence._

----**----

The fox heard the loud squawk of a parrot nearby. It was only then that he turned, seeing the first light of the sun come up over the ocean.

Todd breathed in, watching the way the sun rose. He held the backpack between his legs, holding it close as the sun slowly peeked out. He noticed all the details about it: the way the sunlight colored the sky a distinctive orange as it rose, how the sunlight shined off of the crest of the waves, the way the buildings just at the periphery of his vision blazed to life... He noticed all of it, and as he did, he could not help but stare in awe.

The fox watched it, until he saw the sun rise halfway up the horizon. The wind was at his back, and he noted this as he looked down to his backpack. He hesitated, swallowing a lump in his throat as he looked down on it. He had booked everything as quickly as he could to just get it over with, but now that the moment had arrived, he found himself paralyzed. He did not want to open the bag, did not want to unveil what he had kept packed inside for so long. It was like a dear companion: always there, and the fact that it was always there was almost comforting.

But as the sun rose, he knew it had to be done. Alejandro's parents had entrusted it to Todd, graciously allowing their son that one last request. And he had already spent so much just to get to this point, and with a flight heading back in just five more hours, he knew he could not afford to wait.

And so, Todd unzipped the bag. He then took out a small urn. The box was wooden--cherry wood, Todd recalled--and painted blue, just like the sea Alejandro loved so much. He could smell the faint scent of something burnt inside. He then opened it and looked to the plastic bag of ashes that were inside. He was surprised by just how much was in the bag: the crematorium had told him not to be too surprised, but even Todd did not expect that the ashes would take up so much volume. Still, he figured it was appropriate. And as he looked down at the ashes...

He closed the urn, holding it close to his chest.

"Hey,pajarito," he said, stroking the urn gently. He then looked out to the sea, and in the morning light he could see how unmistakably clear the waters of the Atlantic were. "You were right," he said, looking out to the sea. "The ocean here is like nowhere else in the world." He paused, closing his eyes as he felt the beginnings of tears come to him. "God, this place is so wondrous. It's beautiful... The place, the people... it's all so vibrant."

He then shook his head. He sniffled, and the first of the tears came. "This place was everything you said it was," he said. "Dammit, Alejandro, we should've just come here sooner..."

The fox sniffled, leaning over the urn as if to cover it protectively. His hand splayed across it, and as he released his tears, his shoulders rocked heavily. He thought he heard the faint sound of the waves gently rolling against the shore, but he paid it no mind as he held the urn close to his chest.

After about a minute, he sniffled, before pulling the urn away slightly. He said nothing, before bringing it up and kissing the urn, holding it as if he were scared to drop it. He then lowered it, hugging it close as he gently opened it. He looked to the plastic bag, gently removing it from the urn.

"I love you, Alejandro," said Todd. "And I always will."

He gently placed the urn on the sand, before standing up, feeling the wind still hitting his back as he opened the bag. He breathed in, the tears finally stopping as he dipped his hand in some of the ashes. It was just enough to create a little scatter: Alejandro had specified that he only wanted some of his ashes dispersed over the shore of San Juan, and that did not require the whole handful. He took a deep breath, spreading his legs out slightly as the water welled in his eyes.

As he exhaled, he gently grabbed some of the ashes, his hand flying out of the bag and scattering a handful. He paid no mind to the ashes that fell straight down to the ocean, instead concentrating on the lighter ashes. He watched intently as they billowed away, flying upwards over that clear ocean that he knew Alejandro would have loved.

And then, they dispersed, and Todd was left with the sky, the sun, and the sea.