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Singapore, Singapore April 11, 2020 4:00 AM

With all too many sirens going off inside your head Just loud enough to wake the dead Ooh, oh, but I'm watching over you

The wolverine stepped on the balcony of his small apartment, bare paws making the faintest noise against the smooth tiles of the floor. As uncommon as it was for the large mustelid to get excited in the middle of the night, he found it extremely tough to get back to sleep the few times it happened, especially once certain thoughts started twirling aimlessly in his mind. This was one of those rare few times; he'd tossed and turned in his king size bed for an hour, before resolving to get out and take a small breather.

It's hard to get it down, to understand, to navigate To take a breath, appreciate it Ooh, oh, but I'm watching over you

Late night was hot and humid as was custom in Singapore throughout the whole year, scattered clouds obscuring the full moon and bringing the faintest promise of rain. Chase hung against the balustrade, letting the faint breeze of the night soak into his chest fur. Normally he wouldn't have ever dared to get on the balcony without putting a shirt on first, but it was late enough in the night that he could get away with it.

The campus was eerily silent, most of its occupants having retreated into their homes since a good while. Despite himself, the wolverine couldn't help but smile at the unusual situation, the secret illicitness of it all. In another life he could picture himself on that same balcony, having a cigarette or downing a shot of vodka - and that despite him knowing well a good decade has passed from his last youthful smoke, his drinking customs having gotten a lot tamer as well ever since his move to the small, Asian city-state.

Everybody walks and everybody talks the same But this is your life and no one's gonna get it right

Chase's eyes darted to the wall calendar, one he'd modified to read the time that had passed from his first day in that apartment as a memento of his "new beginning" in the United States. It was currently signing 4 years, 3 months and 12 days, yet in a sense it felt a lot longer than that. Years away from the small, red town in rural Michigan where he'd grown up had forged a different individual from the bumbling, happy-go-lucky 'rine that had embarked on that Denver-San Francisco-Singapore flight. That side was still there, but it often gave way to a more somber, alert mood, something he often joked had stuck to him as a side effect ever since the day he stepped in the new continent.

His parents had come to visit him only once, taking the full tourist experience he'd been more than glad to offer, but it was clear something in his relationship with them had broken. They were still unhappy with his decision to move on the other side of the world to follow his dream to carve out a career as a biomaterials engineer, and had spent most of their time with him trying to convince him to move back to the States. Even in their long Skype chats, they never failed to add some remark about how he'd better come home and put his own talents to the service of his country of birth - a thought he felt less than enthused about entertaining, what with the current political climate in the United States. He also suspected they disapproved of his lifestyle, least by the frequency of their passing remarks about how much they'd rather see him in a boring, stable, All-American relationship.

But you, you Are you lonely where you are? And do you Feel lonely where you are? Pushing stars

Although he lived alone, Chase was by no means a loner. During his four years in Singapore, he'd managed to build a small circle of acquaintances - some of them close enough to be called friends. His colleagues at the Biopolis research facility were part of his life, just like the kids he taught Science to at the elementary school. The idea of letting down each and every one of them was always there, nagging at him, every time he firmly but politely denied coming back to the States "in the foreseeable future".

On the sentimental side, though, the big wolverine was constantly struggling to make progress. Early in the year he'd briefly tried dating Tess, a Dutch badger he'd met at a nightclub when his friend Scoonie had come visit him in Singapore - mostly an attempt to reassure himself he could play that game, or tick some sort of checkbox, whenever he wanted to. Needless to say, it hadn't worked, and the wolverine was now back to the starting point. Still torn on whether to admit himself once and for all that deep inside, he was probably looking for something different - and at the same time, too busy with work and his other daily incumbencies to give those fleeting urges too much of a thought.

I see you every day You're gunning up that hill again Wish I could give you everything Ooh, oh, but I'm watching over you, oh But this is your life and no one's gonna get it right

His sporting commitments were by no means devoid of worries. After missing on the previous championship in a crushing 3-2 Finals defeat, the Singapore Sentinels were now languishing at mid-table - the team having experienced a large turnover of players following their championship run, Chase being one of the very few to escape the purge.

As he neared the end of his third life decade, the wolverine knew that at his size and weight, his athletic career's expiration date was drawing nearer with each game he played. As much as he put every last drop of his effort in order to warrant his starting spot on the team - his long tenure on the team, as well as his unusual size and outgoing demeanor, having earned him a small popularity cult among the Sentinels' supporters - he wasn't dumb enough to take it all for granted.

But you, you Are you lonely where you are? And do you Feel lonely where you are?

His thoughts wandered over to Scoonie, Tejay, LaShawn and his other teammates at Mustelid Michigan. He imagined them as they basked in success, enjoying their popularity and status as athletes in the world's most competitive basketball league. He'd taken another path in life - one for sure less glamorous, but no less accomplished in his mind - and he'd made Singapore his new home and safe haven. He appreciated the local cuisine, took part in the yearly traditions, even managed to pick up some basic Chinese from his colleagues at work. Yet despite having found his place in the community, a part of him felt still missing - the same he'd longed to be cuddling with on lonely nights like that one. It certainly would have made things easier to share those burdens with someone else other than his silly and sometimes random wolverine self.

All of the boulders, they'll just roll back down Lift the weight off your shoulders, darling Leave the ground Everybody walks and everybody talks the same

He imagined his parents, likely coming home from Good Friday service at the Methodist church, dressed up in their finest clothes as they rode through the town in their beat-up 1999 Focus. He wondered whether they were even thinking about him, planning to call him up and letting their presence be known on his special day. He asked himself which of his friends, old and new, would care enough to remember as much as he did.

_But you, you Are you lonely where you are? And do you? Are you lonely where you are? Pushing stars

Are you lonely where you are? Pushing stars_

Letting out a sigh, the wolverine shrugged off his reverie - getting back inside the apartment and shutting the glass door behind himself.

"Happy birthday, Chase," he muttered under his breath.