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“Blue & Gold”

The snow falls quietly on Christmas Eve. Kimberly waves goodbye from the front steps of the culinary arts department. After a long day feeding the less fortunate, all she wants to do is go back to her apartment and sleep the holiday away. The lamps on campus are the only thing holding back the cold darkness, each post creating a small portrait of snow in the light. She bundled up with a heavy brown coat and a colorful linen scarf that did not hold up to the harsh chill as much as she had hoped. This holiday has been a solitary experience. Her father is away on military duty, an absence that is very common. Uncle Tom, the only other relative she stayed in frequent contact with took leave from the university to visit in-laws in Connecticut with his own family. This left the apartment she lives in ill-prepared for Christmas; no tree or presents to celebrate the season. Kimberly has very low expectations as December is coming to a close.

Her mind wanders, causing her to stumble upon that old oak tree by the softball field. A brief glance at the dormant branches recalled memories of spring.

The university softball team practiced at the field, the smell of freshly cut grass came to mind with the sounds of cheers and jeers. That was the first time she saw her. A woman two years her senior took to the mound. Short black hair barely made it past her ears under that blue ball-cap. Before the pitch, she winds up her throwing arm. Kimberly sees the most captivating sight she ever saw, the pitcher's eyes are a shade of blue that would make a brilliant sapphire envious. The woman let loose the large softball with a perfectly executed underhanded pitch.

“STRIKE ONE!” The umpire calls as the batter swing at thin air.

Kimberly twitched a smile of amusement thinking about that exact moment in time.

“Hey, I figured you would be out here.” Comes a voice from behind the tree. Kimberly jumps in surprise and gasps; her presence of mind is back to Christmas Eve again.

“I tried to catch you at the CA building but you took off. I didn’t mean to startle you.” It was Renee, the woman who threw that pitch during her recollection and long term crush.

“It's a shock to see you! I thought you went back home to Compton to see your family.” Kimberly says while staring up into Renee’s sapphire blue eyes. Her gaze then wanders down to a hand holding a flat, medium-sized gift.

“Yeah, I came back to see you. . .I ran into your uncle at that coffee shop we went to that time back then. He told me about how your dad is gone a lot. He also...umm...told me about your mom. . ..”

Kimberly remained silent, going through the memories of her mother as she idly glance about. In an instant she remembered the crash with exquisite detail. Kimberly wished the luck she had in that moment had been shared with her mother. The emptiness was like the dark void just beyond the streetlights.

“So I decided to come back as soon as possible. I knew you were going to be alone this Christmas. That's also why I brought you this!” Renee extended out the wrapped package with a huge smile.

Kimberly quietly stepped forward and gingerly cradled the gift in her arms. She pulled it to her chest and took a deep breath as the empty sensation rattled inside with uncertainty.

“Thank you Renee, you didn't have to do this.” Kimberly is actually very thankful, but she didn't want to be vulnerable in front of Renee. The burden of a stoic existence pressed down on her heart.

“Remember that it's OK to cry.” Renee reassured her with a calm tone and gentle pat on the short girl's curly blonde hair. Kimberly looked at the dark world beyond the old oak tree through now watery eyes. The snow still falls even though God knows how many minutes had passed. Nothing seems to exist beyond their tiny little world under the old oak tree.

Kimberly wants to say “I'm sorry for the sobs”. She wants to say “Thank you” for the gift wrapped with such pristine care. There is only the sound of Kimberly's pained sobs as she finds comfort in Renee's embrace. In this moment, she is not alone. A feeling she has not felt in a very long time. Kimberly raises her head to look upon Renee’s face, she is holding a stern, yet calming visage. She gently pushes away to give herself some room to breath. The gift staying clutched in her arms.

“I like you a lot Kimberly. But I also respect you a great deal. Let me come home with you tonight. No one should ever be alone of Christmas.” Renee asserted more concern than her mind intended.

Kimberly refused to say anything as she takes Renee by the hand to abandon the shelter of the oak tree. Thankfully, the apartment is only a few blocks away; the cold’s relentless bite only worsens.

On the second floor of the apartment complex, the pair stood before the door numbered B-22. Kimberly unlocks the door and turns on the light to the expansive living room. Cream colored walls accented by cherry red paint on the north side accentuates the worn-out contemporary furniture. A big red C-shaped sectional couch sat in the middle of the room, giving direct seating to the 46-inch television on its own glass stand. A small round coffee table sits in the middle of it all, giving that only vital place to put a drink or lay down a remote in the living room. The open galley kitchen connects to the living room by the bar, giving a perfect view of the television from both the bar and most of the kitchen.

“I always loved your place Kim. Your dad has good taste.” Renee stripped away all the winter clothes down to her lime green tank-top and blue jeans.

“Please!” Kimberly scoffed with a slight giggle. “This is all my doing! Dad's hardly ever home! He barely knows the difference between olive drab and turquoise!”

Renee snorted and quickly covered her nose in embarrassment. This in turn lead them both to laugh hysterically at themselves. Kimberly checks the phone in her coat pocket for the time, it was only 8:30. She catches herself being mildly happy that the night was so young. It also came to her attention that her relationship with Renee has become something more.

“Let's find something on Netflix!” Kimberly suggested pulling out her phone. With a few actions, the TV turns itself on brandishing the red and white netflix logo.

“Chromecast, cool. Pick something to watch, let me dig around the kitchen and make us something to eat. And before you say anything, I insist on this. You worked in the campus soup kitchen all day.

Kimberly chose Orange is the New Black, but feels like that it was an awkward choice after the fact.

“I thought about whipping something up a little more unique, but the popcorn just sounded perfect.” Renee keeps her initial comments to herself. The cupboards are empty with the exception of a half-empty jar of peanut butter and the sealed bags of un-popped popcorn.

The pair are almost settled in the couch when Kimberly jumped up from her spot. She dashes around the room, looking for something. Renee gawked at her movement perplexed. Kimberly grabs up the present and looks back at Renee with a blush.

“Sorry!” She exclaimed. “I sorta got stuck in my own head and forgot to open your gift. I didn’t even remember where I set it down when we got home.” Her voice trailed off into silence as she stood before Renee feeling ignorant and vulnerable.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Renee's bold statement threw Kimberly for a loop and nearly made her drop the gift.

“What!?”

Renee calmly closes the gap between them. “I know we haven't known each other for very long. Barely a year, but I would like to get to know you better, as my girlfriend.”

Kimberly is struggling to say anything more than jumbled vowels.

“I also want you to have this gift regardless of what happens tonight. In my eyes, you’ve earned it.”

Flabbergasted, Kimberly peels away at the paper. She finally takes notice at how light it is. An exquisite silk robe laid there in the box. She grabbed it up and let the box fall to the floor. The shimmering silk dyed blue and embroidered with golden oriental patterns played out tastefully over the left shoulder.

“Something I would never buy for myself. . ..” She pulled it to her chest and sizes it up against broad hips and narrow shoulders. The size perfectly matches her body type.

“Do you like it? I know blue is your favorite color.” Renee asked subtly begging for a direct response.

Clutching the robe to her chest, she steps forward.

“Blue is my favorite color because of your eyes Renee. And yes, I would like to see where this path will take us.”

Both of them came together for a kiss that was long overdue. Their lips tingled as the tender kiss lingered for mere seconds. Both of them turn to the screen to see Piper do something very similar to what they are doing now.

“It’s really good once you get into it. Not your typical drama. . .” Kimberly felt awkward after being interrupted.

“I know you have to heal Kim. It is something we can take on together.” Renee always catches her trying to change the subject to avoid emotional discomfort.

“Hell, I've never even been with a girl before!” Kimberly said in jest. Renee shares the laugh as she breaks away and returns to the couch. She invitingly pats the couch and Kimberly joins her.

Three episodes pass and Renee is asleep in her new girlfriend’s lap. Kimberly tenderly rested a hand on the sleeping woman’s hair. She assumed that Renee flew in that day, the jet lag for that distance is harsh. Disbelief fills her thoughts as this beautiful woman lays there, eyes closed and quietly breathing. So much trust, contentment and bliss.

Kimberly's head grows heavy. The television screen, along with the rest of the living room fade to black. Darkness fills her thoughts; the emptiness is comforting. The theater of her mind kicks on and the show begins.

Kimberly found herself back in high school, remembering her first date. Harry was his name, a brown haired boy who had a fondness for paisley. It was a very typical date. A dinner out and a movie. Kimberly recalled the awkward dinner. The conversation was boring and forced, all while staring into his un-inspired eyes. The movie gave Harry another chance to stand out. They went to see “Pan’s Labyrinth” a foreign film by Guillermo del Toro. The actors spoke Spanish, while English subtitles played out below for the current audience. The theatre was not even half-way full. When the two found their seat the movie started with previews. Kimberly wanted nothing to do with anyone at this point, Harry seemed to return the favor.

Twenty minutes had passed and Kimberly sat there staring blankly at the screen. A pair of ladies got up from the front row and walked the aisle back towards the lobby. Out of the corner of her eye, one of those girls looked exactly like Renee. In the lull of sleep, she remembered this was a dream. She got up and left Harry in his seat to stare blankly at the screen. Renee was not her focus, as she raced passed the two girls in the aisle. This dream played out the events of that day, she knew what would happen later that night. Harry’s car broke down in the theatre parking lot after the movie. Kimberly watched her younger self call their mother. In the blink of an eye, the night went from bad to a living nightmare. She stood on the sidewalk and looked on at the wreckage. All she could see of her mother was that golden blonde hair they had in common. Her head laid on the steering wheel, peppered with windshield glass. Young Kimberly in the front passenger side rested her head on the airbag that did deploy. The police and fire department crowded the intersection.

Kimberly, along with the other on-lookers felt the burden of helplessness as the victims are being sent away in ambulances to the neighboring hospitals. She looked around and saw the two girls from the theatre. Neither of them looked like Renee.

An abrupt flash of light awoke her from the memory. The sun is shining through the kitchen window. Stretching out, she notices that Renee is gone. A tense chill of anxiety crawled up her spine. Did something happen? Is Renee okay? A look out the kitchen window revealed the bright, white world outside. The snow that settled on the ground shimmers beautifully. It is immaculate, like minuscule diamonds. There is only one set of footprints, the path they made go straight to the university in the distance. The stone arch with metal logo “Northeastern University” can barely be seen from the window. Kimberly throws on her coat and takes off. The world outside is bright but silent. Christmas Day kept most businesses closed and people warmly tucked away into their homes. Kimberly set her sights on Davenport Commons, Renee’s home away from home. The campus is just as quiet, winter break sent many students home for the holidays. Kimberly rushed up the steps of an old colonial building. She found Renee’s room and knocked firmly on the door. Renee’s roommate answered the door. Tiffany stood there with a blank stare and a big smile. The door is wide open, revealing that all she wore are a pair of pink panties and a MTV tank top covering her lithe figure.

“Hey Kim! Merry Christmas and stuff! We should go camping?” Tiffany slurs her words.

“Shit. Did you eat the ‘Magic Mushrooms’ this morning?”

“Yeah! The sky glows so vibrantly, I- “

“Have you seen Renee?” Kimberly asks getting to the point.

“Does she wanna go camping too! If so she needs to get here now! You hungry? You got any food?” Kimberly takes this as a big fat no.

“Just. . .” She rubs her forehead and heavily sighs. “If you see her please tell her- ah who am I kidding?!” She walks away and leaves the stoner to her own devices. Tiffany shrugs in bewilderment and closes the door.

So much had happened that night. What could have gone wrong for Renee to just leave. A thought came to Kimberly. She reached into the pocket of her coat to find a phone that wasn't there. This incited a mild panic that made her scramble through her coat until the realization hit her like a heavy boulder. A sigh escapes followed by dropping her head in mild relief and shame. The phone is on her coffee table, with messages from Renee.

Maybe she needed to do something and left a message after all?

The phone is right where she left it in the apartment. The screen is lit up even with Renee’s name at the top of the screen. With a swipe, the screen pulls up the text message she had left.

kim, i had to catch a flight back home

srry i didn’t say anything last night

you were so cute asleep on the couch

txt me when you wake up

can’t wait ;)

Kimberly plops onto th_e couch and drops the phone on the cushion next to her. The pieces come together in her head. A bus to the airport stops by the university all the time. This whole morning has been a silly mess. I guess I worried because I care, that’s new. She picks up her phone and starts a message. _

_ Miss you! Where U at? Be safe! _

_The robe Renee gave her last night is laid out on the other side of the couch. She thought it was almost too nice for her. Kimberly starts to stripping the clothes from last night as she reached for the robe. The fabric feels amazing against her milky, bare skin. Her breasts had a difficult time staying within the confines of the robe after she ties it around proper. Renee was probably banking on that problem. She sashays over to the bathroom mirror and takes in how glamorous it all is. The robe complimented her full hips perfectly. Her blonde hair and hazel eyes stood out, complimented by the blue and gold. The phone vibrates against the table, it m_ust be Renee. Kimberly looks over her shoulder, smiling contently, wondering where this path will take them.