Forever and for Always
Hey everyone, I'm currently having writers block with my New Year's story, So, I figured I'd post a story I wrote for my boyfriend a few weeks ago. Enjoy everyone. :3
"Do you ever think we'll be together...just like this... forever?"
The words confused me for a moment, until I looked up into his eyes. Up until that moment, I had never considered that Max didn't consider the possibilities like I had...that someday we were certain to live together and have our lives free of influence from our families. I had envisioned it so many times; every time I held his paw in mine, I thought of the day when we could finally sleep in the same building together without having to sneak around to do it; the day that would start the rest of forever.
"Yes" was all I could say, seeing my own image reflected in the hazel spheres. I saw a tear form inside the eye closest to me, and quickly made a motion to kiss it away, holding the man of my dreams tightly to my chest.
"What's wrong, hun?"
"I just want to run away with you; somewhere we can live and love without having to deal with all of the crap our parents are giving us. I wish we didn't have to hide every time you visit my house, keeping secrets from my little brother, not to mention that I'm not allowed NEAR your house." He almost cried then, tears threatening to spill over at any moment. I nuzzled him, smelling his hair, entranced by something I couldn't describe.
Every word he said was true, though. The minute I told my father that I had a boyfriend, forever shattering his dreams of the perfect son that he should never had reason to expect anyways, he stormed out of the room, complaining about being sick to his stomach and shouting obscenities of 'killing the kid that turned my son into a fag.' The words cut me like a knife, telling me everything I needed to know about how well I would be treated from now on in my own household.
"It's going to be okay, babe. I don't know how soon, but we WILL be together, forever." I said, looking at the silver moon with longing for our life together.
"I'll wait as long as is necessary. For someone like you, I'd die before I gave up waiting." Max kissed my cheek, nuzzling me as we cuddled.
I lay underneath my love, staring up into the midnight sky, stargazing like I hadn't done since childhood. I wanted to just lay like this the entire night, us having his house to ourselves for an unexpected evening. I had driven the half hour to see him the minute I heard of his family's absence for the night, and we intended to spend every moment together, waking or otherwise.
He rolled off of me and gave that goofy smirk that I love seeing so much from him, his dark tail swishing in time with his breathing. The sound of his breathing was like a drug to me; listening to it was all I needed to feel happy and safe. He told me once that the sound of my heart did much the same for him, after much prodding to get me to tell him why I loved listening to him breathe in the first place.
He stood then, taking my paw in his and pulling me to my feet, kissing me slowly and gently, like we did the first night we were together. My heart began to race, thinking of that night like it was still happening to me; Jesse, the kid who desperately searched for love, and could never find anyone that loved him back. My 19th birthday changed all of that, though, when Max, who I had once thought was the love of my life (and thought I had lost forever) came up to me and asked me if I would be his, making me the happiest I'd been in a long, long time. I didn't think that anyone would ever match the feeling he gave me, one of peace and safety.
He led me inside, his tail wrapping around mine as we walked, his black fur melding seamlessly into my white. In his somewhat messy kitchen, I grabbed ice cream from the freezer and scooped some into two dishes for us, drizzling hot fudge and caramel onto each. We sat at the table in silence for a moment, eating and staring into each others' eyes, looks of bliss on our faces. As I went to put my dish in the sink, he walked up behind me and grabbed at my butt, purring softly into my ear and whispering words that made a shiver run down my spine. I turned around; running my paws over his tummy and thinking of all the times we'd shared just laying together, feeling each others' fur against our own, no clothing to hinder our movement, or our eyesight...
My first instinct was to head straight to the bedroom to cuddle and feel each other in the silence and in the time we were finally able to afford each other, but my beloved felt like watching a movie. He put in Avatar and led us to his couch, laying down on it and pulling me on top of him. He clung to my body, holding me like someone was going to steal me away. My heart began to race, thinking of how much he must love me to want me in his arms this way, myself being completely content to just relax in his embrace. I had promised him some time before that I would love him 'forever and for always,' and my mind still echoed this phrase to me whenever I was upset, to keep me going strong, if only for him.
Not seeming to pay any attention to the movie, he ran his paws down my spine, blowing hot air gently into my ear like he does whenever he wants a reaction out of me. I murred at him happily, grinding my hips down against him slightly to send the message that he better be willing to play if he was going to tease. He shook his head, instead scooting over to lie beside me, a smile on my own face as he circled my body with his arms, our paws interlacing tightly. "I love you, Maxi" was all I could say at that moment in time, the feeling holding my attention like it was all that mattered. I guess it really is all that matters, to tell you the truth.
As the movie came to an end, he yawned, still holding me tightly to him on the couch as I hummed a Ke$ha song I'd heard recently. After a few moments, I felt my best friends' breathing slow down and his heart beat do the same. I stood up gently, not wanting to wake him, and then scooped him up into my arms, even though he is bigger than me, and carried him to his room.
I set him softly on the bed, covering him in his fleece blankets and the climbing in next to him, covering myself as well. After a moment, his arms wrapped around my waist as if by instinct, fitting into the exact same position as every other time we have lain together. I felt myself drift off, dreaming of every time we'd kissed, and thinking of the times we've mated, the thought of him thrusting hard into me making my face blush crimson, even asleep, the sound of him saying my name over and over, 'Jesse...Jesse...' echoing in my head. Then also the thoughts of times where I've done the same to him, holding him tight to me and hearing his name escape my lips, each time leaving another mark that he is truly the one for me to have and to hold as long as I live and breathe.
My dreams continued to shift, racing through my memories of times Max and I had spent together, our first everythings; our first kiss, first time making love, first shower together, our first date. I could feel myself getting warmer as I dreamt of these things, all of them with joy and with a lack of any kind of worry for worldly things or people. Again my mind echoed with the words of promise; 'forever and for always.'
I awake to the sound of crying nearby, but in a darkened room like his, even my feline vision takes a few moments to adjust. My ears perked as I heard the sound coming from Max's body behind me, so I turn around to comfort him, holding him tight to my chest. I soon realize that he isn't even awake, he's just having a nightmare, and I'm sure it's the same one he's had each night since my accident, the image of me lying in a casket before him, and his knowledge that there was nothing he could have done to save me. I hold him, singing my song to him softly as I hear him slowly return to normal.
As I turn over to fall back asleep myself, however, I feel his paw at my shoulder, turning me back over to be kissed deeply and passionately by him, his soft cheeks still wet with tears. I feel his lips leave mine, and hear a whisper of "I love you, Jesse." I respond in kind, meaning it with all my heart and mind, knowing that I truly was meant for someone as beautiful as this, and floating on air to think that he loves me back just as powerfully. My mind dips back into unconsciousness, falling asleep in the arms of my one, true love; with who I will be... forever and for always.