FSE

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My name is - and has always been - Clara. That name was given to me by my closest friend on a day I can now barely remember so many, many years ago. He and I... we had many adventures together. Won innumerable battles against countless people, and lost our share against just as many. We traveled the country and made many friends, and gained a few rivals along the way. We traveled with his best friends, who had their own special Pokemon, and who became my friends, too. The two of us returned to his home and started a gym, and welcomed our friends again as they finished their own adventures and returned home. We helped other trainers start their journey - trainers from other towns seeking badges and recognition by the League, young trainers from our own town, even a nice Eevee we helped to find a friend of his very own. And when somebody tore down our gym, we built it back up with the help of all the friends we had made. We did it all together, my trainer and me. There were so many different people who were part of my life... but the best of them was Flen.

It was he who gave me my name. He who rescued me when I was just a starving kit all on her own, who drove me to do my best just by being there for me, who took me all over the world on a grand adventure, who took care of me when I was sick, who hugged me when I was lonely, who had that smile when I did well, and that way of petting my head just so. Flen, my trainer, the person who was there for every day of my life, who made sure I was never alone, and who had that unique way of saying my name that nobody else had...

...that unique way I would never again hear.

I sobbed on the bed. The blanket was getting wet. Flen would hate that, he always ran the dryer twice to make sure clothes and blankets and anything else was warm and dry. He would be upset if the blanket was wet... or... no. He would have been...

But now... now he just lay there. On his side, half curled with his legs pulled towards his chest, head under a pillow, arm stretched out towards the edge of the bed. Just like he slept hundreds of other nights. But he wasn't sleeping now. The slow breathing, the occasional snort if something bothered his nose, the twitches of motion as his dreams disturbed him... they were gone. He was just still. No sound at all, not this night. The dreams that I could sometimes peek into, the chaotic thoughts of his subconscious playing as he slept... those were gone too. There was nothing but silence where those thoughts used to be. The sense I always had of Flen, the part inside me that was always aware of him, always connected to him, always there... there was nothing but stillness now. Horrible, awful silence.

I pushed up on the bed and touched my head to the outstretched arm, resting my forehead right against his hand. I wished with everything in me to feel that hand tighten, the way it had so many thousands of times before, and scratch at my head, rub at my ears, press against the side of my face or scratch at my chin... anything... but nothing happened. The warmth that I always remembered in his hand was gone; it was still and cold. The only warmth came from where my tears fell, and even that warmth faded after just a few moments.

I curled myself into a ball under his hand, pulling my forked tail in towards me. Sometimes that would make me feel better, feel protected, but... it didn't this time. I still felt scared. Alone.

I heard something moving in the hallway. Somebody else was in the house. I knew I should get up and see what it was, make sure it wasn't some sort of threat... but... what did it matter? Let them do what they wanted to the house. None of that mattered anymore, not without Flen. And nothing could do anything to him. The worst had already happened.

I pressed closer against him, trying to keep him warm, as if maybe that would change something. Somehow.

"Clara..."

I recognized the voice. It was quiet, but I heard it over my sobs. I tried to choke them back enough to talk. Shells was a friend. I should try and tell him... let him know... "S-shells... Flen is... he..." I couldn't focus enough to touch Shells' mind, so I used the simpler speech I used for Opal, or Absol, but even that was too much. I just couldn't say it.

I felt the Wartortle's weight on the bed, and felt him hug me with his short arms. He was cold, but still warmer than Flen.

Still alive.

I felt Shells tug gently at me, turning me from Flen's body. I let him, and buried my face in his shoulder, still crying. I could sense some of his thoughts - I wasn't focused and was just picking up the strongest thoughts around me, regardless of if I wanted to or not. He wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to say it was okay, that he was there... but he knew it wasn't okay. Wanted to tell me I wasn't alone, but was scared that would just make me realize what it meant now that Flen was gone. He thought about saying it wasn't my fault, but he also thought that I was smart and knew that. And there was something else, something fleeting that danced away and hid before I saw it, which he didn't want me to know. He kept thinking about what he could say to help, but couldn't think of anything.

So he just held me silently while I wept.

Eventually I felt like I could try talking again. "I don't..." I cleared my throat, choking back another sob, then tried again. "I don't understand... he was fine... he was fine when we went to sleep. And I didn't feel anything from him! I would have woken up if he had been scared, or in pain; I was just asleep, and when I woke up, he was... he was..."

I felt Shells' hand on my head, in an awkward imitation of a human petting me. He couldn't quite reach, but the effort still calmed me. "He must have gone peacefully, then. No pain. That's..." I sensed he wanted to say it was a good thing, but he knew that was wrong. "That's better than if he had been in pain. He didn't suffer."

"But I could have... I could have helped him! If there had been pain, then I could have gotten help, o-or done something myself. I don't even know what happened; he just..." I started crying again, breaking down into more sobs.

It's his heart.

I felt an effort from Shells to suppress the thought, but it was too late. I had felt it - felt the memory he was trying to hide from his thoughts. The thought hadn't been in his voice; it had been a memory of somebody else talking to him. Flen? No. Shells' trainer. Perry.

I blinked away tears to try and look up at him. "W-what?..."

Shells tried to stroke the back of my head, but I didn't let him distract me. "His heart? What? W-why are you thinking about that?"

Shells took a deep breath and let go of me. He stepped off the bed carefully. I didn't understand what he was doing at first, but something in the back of my mind finally clicked. He was getting space between us, like he would an opponent. Room to maneuver.

"Clara... you have to understand..." Shells stopped and shook his head. "Flen's heart... there was a problem with it. He had surgery as a child and it helped for a bit of time, but... it didn't fix it, or stop the holes from growing. The doctors could patch them for a little bit, and had special food for him to eat, but... it wouldn't..."

I didn't understand. Shells' words reached my ears, and I understood the individual meaning of them, but they just didn't make sense. I couldn't understand why Shells was telling me these things, or why they mattered. I looked back at Flen, at his body, still under the thin blanket he slept with in the warmer summer months. Flen's heart... no... it was perfect...

And then all at once I did understand. My grief and shock took a sudden back seat to clearer thoughts. I understood what Shells was saying. And... I understood what he wasn't saying.

I looked slowly away from the body of my trainer and glared at the Wartortle. "You... knew..." He took another step back and looked away from me, avoiding my eyes. He opened his mouth to say something else, but I didn't give him a chance to speak.

"You KNEW!!!" Rage filled me, and I trembled as I rose to my feet and stared down at him. "You knew, and you didn't tell me! I could have stopped this from happening!" I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just reached into the part of me that did such things, and with the barest of thoughts I flung Shells out of the room. Right through the wall.

Something heavy broke between the walls as I hurled the Wartortle through it. A jagged hole was left in the wall, and I could see through it clear into the next room, into the office where Flen would worry about bills, or event schedules, or various other paperwork that needed to be handled. Papers were scattered everywhere now, though I could barely make that out in the darkness. Flen would be upset with me for making such a mess in his office; it would take him hours to pick everything up...

....no. No, it wouldn't. And the reason why was still there, in the middle of that dark room.

I summoned light in a move Flen had taught me a few months ago. 'Dazzling Gleam', where I made the jewel on my forehead glow brighter. I had been jealous of Opal, and how he could make that ball of light, though I hadn't admitted to being jealous then, and Flen... F-flen had...

I closed my eyes again and and screamed, trying to drive the memories - and the pain that came with them - away from me. It didn't work, so I pushed.

I heard a crashing sound and opened my eyes again. The wall that separated the two rooms... the wall that had separated the two rooms... it was gone. Shattered into a thousand little pieces of wood, and drywall, and paint flecks. The two rooms were now well lit by my light, and I could see the Wartortle crouched in the rubble, panting heavily, with one arm held over his head. Scratches were all over his shell from where the wall had blown inwards.

He slowly lowered his arm and met my gaze with nothing but sorrow deep in his eyes. His voice came out steady, but with a heavy sadness. "No, Clara... you couldn't have."

"You don't know that!" I felt my fur stand on end, and slashed my tail through the air behind me. For an instant I thought about using it to strangle the Water Pokemon before me - it would be fitting. Instead I jumped down from the bed and reached out with my power again, this time into the furniture in the other room, and flung the heavy computer desk right at him. The computer fell off in mid-flight, but the desk itself slammed down where he had been standing..

There was silence for a moment... then the air rippled, a veil of water dissolving slowly. Shells' Protect move. He had used it when I had jumped off the bed, used it to throw off my aim, so that the desk had fallen harmlessly in the middle of the room. I started to get angrier, but grinned when I saw the computer had ended up slamming into him. It wasn't as heavy as some computers I had seen, but it was beefy. The Wartortle would still be feeling sore from that one in the morning.

Though somewhere in the back of my mind I realized the computer was probably trashed now. Flen wouldn't be happ... no. I shook my head before I could go back down that train of thought and glowered at the Wartortle instead.

Shells heaved and pushed the computer off of him, still shaking his head. "I do. If there was any doubt, any chance at all, I would have told you!" He looked past me and pointed towards the bed. "Flen would have told you!" He kept pointing for a moment, then let his arm fall limply to his side and looked down at the floor. "But... there wasn't, Clara. Flen and Perry, they talked with several doctors. You know he was taking trips without you lately; that's what he was doing. The best doctors, doctors who had spent their entire life learning how to treat specific conditions of the heart just like the one Flen had, and they couldn't fix it. There was nothing else... there was nothing else you could do. There was nothing any of us could do; we tried, we all did. What else could you have done? How could you have stopped it?"

I shook my head, not wanting that to be true, but I felt my rage slipping beneath the truth of his words. I didn't want it to go. Didn't want to feel... It was Shell's fault! He knew, and didn't tell me what was going to happen! "I still could have done something! Even if I couldn't have stopped it, I could have been there with him! Helped make him comfortable, or... or maybe happy, even for a little bit, one more time! You kept me from being able to do that!"

Shells looked down, looking defeated. "You did make him happy, Clara... he knew that you would. That's why he told us not to tell you."

"I could have... he... he... what?... Us..." I stopped, rocking back a little, more hurt piling onto the gaping emptiness in my heart. My rage slipped a little farther away from me, and I reached harder to get it back. "Flen wouldn't have done that! You're lying! Why would he do something like that!? Who is this 'us'; who would keep this from me?!"

Shells met my eyes, calm resignation in his voice. "All of us. Perry, Todd, Absol, Feren, Flutter, Obsidian... he made us promise not to tell you. Not to let you find out he was sick. Because Flen loved you, Clara. You were his first Pokemon, the one who always made him proud, who could cheer him up no matter how sad he was. The last thing he wanted - the thing he wanted to avoid more than anything - was seeing you sad, seeing you scared and desperate, and worried, the way you would have been if you had known. He couldn't bear the thought of that, he didn't want his last moments with you and his last memories of you to be like that. He wanted what you gave him - one more chance to just be happy together and enjoy a day, to just be friends enjoying life, before..." He trailed off, unable to say the word either. "I tried to tell you..."

I stared at the Wartortle, feeling my stomach sink. As much as I hated to think about it, I knew he was right... if I had known this was coming, I wouldn't have been able to not worry, and Flen would have worried, and he would have hated that... he wouldn't have wanted his last time with me to be like that... after all we had been through, I could give that gift to him, couldn't I?... Let him have that one last moment? Especially if Shells was right, and there wasn't anything else that I could do?... I thought back over the things Shells had said, the things from before... before tonight... had he tried to tell me? He had been quiet the last few days, I remembered that, but I thought he was just focused on the upcoming League Championships. But... no, I remembered that he had said something. I had been complaining about... about... something silly, something that didn't matter at all now, whatever it was. I had told him about it, and said I was going to tell Flen, but Shells... what had he said? That I should spend some more time with Flen. Just enjoy today; make it count. That I could worry about everything else later...

He had tried to tell me... I just hadn't understood... hadn't known what he meant...

The rage slipped away... leaving behind only the emptiness and loss that had been hiding behind the anger. That horrible gap in my heart that was where Flen belonged, the dead stillness where his thoughts used to be. The emptiness that was all I had left of him. Would ever have left of him. I felt tears welling back up in my eyes. I knew I could stop them, could make them go away with a shrug of my psychic powers... but I didn't. What point was there to hide them? What point was there to anything now?

"I didn't even... I didn't..." I looked at Shells, blinking to make him out through the tears, too overwhelmed with grief to be angry at him, not without anything else to focus on. All I could feel was loss. "He... he's gone, and I'll never see him again, and... I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. Tell him thank you one last time, for all he did for me, for all the fun we had together... say that he was my best friend, tell him I'll miss him, let him know... all... all of you had the chance to... but... not me..."

"Oh, Clara..." Shells started to climb over the desk towards, but I shook my head, turning away from him. I didn't want to see him anymore. Didn't want to see anybody. My trainer was gone. What good could anybody else be now?

I took a few unsteady steps along the bed, not really sure where to go - no place could bring me to Flen, so no direction was really any better than any other - before I realized the world was getting darker. My breath wasn't coming right, and the world wasn't steady. I had been in enough fights before to know what was happening. My energy was gone, my stamina was depleted, my body couldn't keep up the pace. I was about to faint. I knew I could stop it if I wanted to; could bring my psychic powers to bear and rejuvenate my body and mind with the energy of the sun, even now in the middle of the night...

But as my jewel dimmed and the darkness surrounded me, as the roaring grew in my ears and the floor rushed up at me, my last thought, my last whispered words, were simply "What would be the point?"

---

Perry stared at the blank screen for what seemed like hours, before finally reaching forward and pushing the "call" button. There was an instant where nothing happened, then the familiar ringing noise came from the speakers. It rang four... five times... then the 'Connecting' screen was replaced by the face of a smiling young woman seated in a chair with a proud but tired looking Umbreon curled up in her lap.

"Hi Perry! You have perfect timing; we just finished our match! We've made it into the semi-finals! John did, too! One of us could make it to the last match! Or even win the championship! John's super excited; he's really interested in that prize Castform they're giving away this year!" Despite her obvious excitement, Sara's smile suddenly wavered in uncertainty as Perry's expression finally sunk in. "Is... is everything okay?"

Perry shook his head. "Actually... no. Are you alone?"

"Uhh... yeah; I came back to my room after the match. Well, Opal and Phoenix are here; Sonata and Constella are resting." She glanced around behind her to make absolutely sure nobody else was there, then looked back at her phone. "Why? What's wrong?"

"It's... it's Flen. He..." Perry's voice caught, as he struggled to say the words. "His heart was having problems - it's a congenital defect, something we've known about since he was young, but one that had been getting worse the last few years. The doctors tried a few surgeries, and it helped at first, especially the first one when he was a child, but it had kept getting worse, and they couldn't... they didn't have enough to work with to patch..." Perry sagged back into the chair, going silent, before finally saying the words. "Flen died in his sleep three nights ago."

Sara's face went pale at his words while her Umbreon let out a surprised, mournful "Bree..." Sara was quiet a little longer, and Perry saw tears begin to well in her eyes. "I... I don't understand; he was fine when I talked to him... just a few days ago... h-he wished me luck; said no matter how things went there would be a party for me and John when we got back... how... how can he be..." She trailed off, unable to say the words.

"It didn't cause any obvious symptoms most of the time... maybe being out of breath more often, or needing to eat more red meat. But... when... he was basically bleeding internally, and there was no way to repair it. There was less and less oxygen in the blood leaving his heart as the gaps grew, and eventually his organs just..." Perry shook his head. "Absol had warned him it was coming. There wasn't anything he could do, and he didn't want anybody to be worried ... he... listen, Sara, you can't tell anybody about this yet. We're keeping it quiet here too; Flen told us he didn't want anybody to know until after the tournament - didn't want to 'lessen some trainer's proudest accomplishment for something silly like this'." Perry paused, remembering how Flen had sounded when he said those words a few days ago. "The day after tomorrow, once the tournament is finished and all the celebrations are done, then we'll tell everybody, but not before."

Sara was still pale, but she nodded slowly. "I... I won't tell anybody... but... why are you telling me early?"

Perry looked to the side, to where Shells and Feren could be seen through the open door to the patient room, sitting sadly and watching the figure that was just out of Perry's view. He forced himself to look back at the phone. "It's... his Pokemon are all taking it a lot harder than we expected. We knew his Pokemon are... were all very close to him, but... Obsidian and Skarmory won't let anybody in the gym, though with what's happened nobody particularly wants to go there anyways. Flutter just flies circles over the gym for hours before he gets too tired and collapses on the roof; Spot and Absol just sit by the gym door and stare up at the sky... none of them are really eating like they should..." Perry fell silent, his throat closing over the one thing he needed to tell her.

But Sara seemed to know without being told. Her face was still pale, but Perry saw her raise a trembling hand to begin slowly petting her Umbreon's back. The Umbreon's eyes were wide in fear, and Perry thought the dark Pokemon might be shaking a little himself. "And... Clara?"

Perry looked back at the open patient room of the PokeCenter, unable to look away. "Clara... has... Sara, she's just... given up. The nurse says everything is physically fine, but... she fell asleep and just won't wake up. The nurse didn't know why - he called in a specialist, but she can't find anything wrong either, and they're all getting worried ... Clara just lies there, wasting away. Shells... Shells thinks that without Flen, she just... doesn't have any reason to wake up, not anymore. He and Feren have been trying everything they can to make her feel comfortable, and tell her she still has people who still care about her..." Perry grew quiet, remembering when he had walked in to see the normally prideful Nidorino outright pleading with the unconscious Espeon, telling her he already missed her too much, and that she needed to wake up because he wanted to play tag with her. "...but it hasn't been enough. I'm telling you because..." Perry's voice broke and he closed his eyes, swallowing before opening them slowly. "I know Opal was close to her... and... if there's anything he wants to say... he... might not have a chance if you wait until after the tournament."

Sara looked down at her Umbreon, understanding reaching her eyes as she saw the Umbreon's drooped ears and horrified expression. "I'll leave right away. We'll be there as soon as we can."

Perry shook his head despite himself, feeling obligated to raise the point even though he knew it wouldn't change anything. "Sara... you don't have to do this. Flen wouldn't want you to miss this chance, especially if you're so close to winning. There's still every chance Clara will wake up by herself, or still be here after..."

Sara just looked determined, nudging her Umbreon so she could stand up. "Flen wouldn't want Clara to give up and die, either. Neither would Opal. Sonata will understand; Constella and Phoenix can just stuff it if they don't. I'm not going to stay here and pretend like nothing's wrong while she gets worse, not if there's something I can do for her. And... if there's not, and this is our last chance..." She broke off and shook her head. "We're on our way."

"Okay... I'll let your parents know. Sara... thanks. I know what you're giving up... this means a lot, to all of us."

Sara smiled, a sad expression so different from her earlier excitement. "It's nothing. I still remember what Flen and Clara taught me, and what I owe them. I just hope we can be of some help." She looked back at her Umbreon, who was still looking slightly panicked, before turning back to the Perry and the screen. "I'll be there soon."

There was a click, and the screen went black.

---

"...Clara... it's time to wake up..."

After what seemed an eternity, that one sound shattered the emptiness around me. Flen! My body felt weak and fuzzy, but I ignored it. I tried opening my eyes to see where the sound had come from, but they were just too heavy. I waited, trying to gather strength, feeling sensation slowly return to me.

I was on something soft, and something warm and comfortable rested against my side. A beeping sound came from somewhere to my left, and I thought I heard breathing too. Wherever I was had a harsh chemical smell, like somebody had spilled bleach recently. It reminded me of the rooms in the PokeCenter, but that made no sense. I had a nice bed back at Flen's house, and another on at the gym, and nobody I knew was hurt... there wasn't any reason for me to be sleeping at the PokeCenter. I smelled something else too- a familiar scent, though one I couldn't quite place...

"I think she's waking up!... Clara? Can you hear me?" The warmth next to me shifted, and I felt a gentle nudge. I heard the sound of somebody shifting and a door opening and somebody walking through it, but the warmth stayed next to me. I tried opening my eyes again, and this time found the strength to slowly open them.

Bright light blinded me, and I fought the urge to close them again, instead turning the reaction into a series of blinks. When my eyes finally adjusted, I saw that I was in a PokeCenter room... though the lights weren't nearly as bright as I had thought, and were actually very dim. I decided to worry about that later, instead turning my head to see who was beside me. My neck felt stiff, and it took longer than it seemed it should have, but finally I made out an Umbreon beside me.

I instantly felt more awake. "Opal..." I tried to remember the last time I had seen him. Two... three months? I smiled, just glad to see him again, though something nagged at the back of my mind. "It's good to see you again! But... why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Sara... at..." I thought, then it came to me. "At the tournament?" I frowned. The tournament hadn't ended already, had it? It had just started! Had Sara lost early on? Why hadn't Flen told me that, or mentioned that Opal was coming back...

Everything came rushing back with those thoughts. I had been reaching out to Flen to ask, going through the same motions I had thousands and thousands of times before... but... Flen wasn't there to answer.

The Umbreon's expression grew sad and concerned. I remembered suddenly - dark types could feel emotions. Fear, hate... grief. "I... came to see you. Everybody was worried... they told me... that..."

Opal trailed off, sadness and sympathy showing in his eyes. My happiness at seeing Opal again faded, swallowed up by the sadness. "That Flen is... is..." I spoke softly and trailed off, not able to say the words.

He was still a moment before slowly nodding, a slight motion that never took his eyes off of mine.

I had a nasty suspicion suddenly, and looked to the Umbreon's eyes, though I felt myself starting to shake. "Did... did you know it was going to happen? Absol knew; he could sense it, and he... Shells said Flen told everybody else what was happening..."

Opal looked confused for a moment, then his eyes widened and he shook his head. "No... no, I didn't. I would have told you something like that if I did." There was a sadness in his eyes that somehow made me remember the first time he had met Sara - her holding the nervous little Eevee in her arms and spinning from excitement - and I knew not only that he would... but that he understood what I was feeling.

My body felt weak, but I moved to snuggle more against him, and he curled a little around me. He felt warm. I needed that. He was bigger than I remembered - he must have grown some more in the months I hadn't seen him. We sat like that for a moment in silence, the only sound the beeping from the machines on the counter, before I finally felt I could speak again. "It was horrible... I woke up last night, and... I couldn't hear him. He was so cold, he didn't move, didn't answer me... he just lay there, and nothing I could do..."

I trailed off, feeling tears well in my eyes as I remembered that terrible moment. "He's gone... just... I didn't even know he was sick, and now... now I'll never get to see him again. I listen for him, in that part of my mind where I could always hear him in, but... there's nothing but silence. I can't tell him... anything. Ever again."

Opal began to glow a little, his eyes sad, but he didn't say anything. I couldn't blame him... I couldn't imagine what you could say to that. But just that he was there at all was enough.

We sat like that for what seemed an endless stretch of time, before the Umbreon gave me a gentle nudge with his head. "You can still talk to him. If there's something you need to say... well... you can still say it, you know?"

I blinked my eyes clear to look at him, confused. "What... what do you mean?"

Opal suddenly looked sheepish, avoiding my gaze. "Err... it's something I've seen Phoenix do. When he thinks nobody is watching him. He has a piece of his egg still; sometimes at night he'll set it down somewhere, and talk to his father. Tell him about the battles he's had, or about the new things he saw, or how strong he's growing, and how proud he would be. It's really cute... but it helps him to do that. You can always do that... find something that reminds you of him, that's just yours and his, or go someplace that helps you remember him, and just talk to him?"

I looked away from the Umbreon. "It wouldn't be the same... I wouldn't actually be talking to him. It wouldn't matter anyways..." I felt tears starting again. "Nothing I can do will ever make him happy again." I felt the cold start to swallow me again, felt myself drifting. I didn't want to be awake anymore...

"That's not true, either."

I looked back at the Umbreon. "What?"

Opal frowned and looked away. "Since I heard about Flen... I've... been thinking. And talking with Sara. And I think... we know the ghost Pokemon come from things dying, right? That Haunter I fought, way back when... that was a spirit, something left behind when something bad happened, right? And ghosts... they hang around trying to fix fix whatever is still bothering them, or get revenge, or whatever? I think... there must be some reason for that, right? If... if there's a spirit left behind after death in those circumstances, then the same spirit must be somewhere in other circumstances too, right? And the 'upset' spirits are trying to fix things so they can leave here, and be where the rest of the spirits are."

He looked back at me, though he still looked sad. "So Sara and I think... that... Flen is still around. He's somewhere else, some other place that our spirits go when we die... but even though he can't be here with you, he still cares about you, right? He'll still be happy with you. Knowing you're safe, and still doing okay?"

I thought about it. It made sense, some, but... it didn't make things any better. Even if Flen was around somewhere... he was still beyond my reach. And he still... if he was still going to be... somewhere, then why hadn't he told me first? Told me it would be okay...

I just lowered my head back down on the bed and closed my eyes. It still hurt too much; I didn't want to think about it. I just... I just wanted my trainer back.

Opal let out a soft whine, then lay his head down next to mine. We sat there for a moment in silence broken only by the random beeps of the machine somewhere in the room... then he spoke again. "Clara... Flen left something for you."

I lifted my head suddenly, immediately wishing I hadn't. I felt weak, and my balance was all off even from that simple motion. "He... nngh." I waited for the room to stop spinning, then tried again. "Sorry... I don't know why I feel so weak."

Opal drooped his ears and slid his head under mine, helping me lift it up. "You... you're in a PokeCenter, Clara. You've been here for five days."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. Everything from yesterday... that had all been... five days? "...oh."

We were quiet again... then I spoke once more. "What did Flen leave?"

"He left an envelope for you that we haven't opened yet, and a video. It said it was for you and Sara; she was watching it before you woke up."

Opal pointed a paw towards the wall across from him, and I followed it to see a chair. There was a purse on the floor beside it with an envelope jutting out, and a smartphone rested on one of the armrests. I started to rise to my feet to go look at it... but I barely rose at all before I felt dizzy and weak.

"Easy, easy... don't get up yet. Sara went to get the doctor - it's the middle of the night, and she was asleep, so it'll be a bit, but you shouldn't move until somebody has a chance to look at you. I'll get it." The Umbreon moved slowly and pulled away from me, leaving cold in his place. I felt panic at the chill and started to reach after him, but he was fast. Or I was slow. He was back in no time at all, stretching out beside me and dropping the phone in front of me. "Um... I don't know how to make it work... Sara stopped it at the end of the recording; can you make it go back to the beginning?"

I nodded and reached out with my thoughts. It was easy enough - the phone just needed a bit of pressure right there, at the start of that red bar, and then again at that arrow in the center...

The screen changed to show Flen sitting up on the side of the bed. I saw a bit of purple fur behind him and realized that this must have been sometime late at night, or very early in the morning - that splotch of fur was me on the bed behind him, fast asleep.

Flen started speaking, and I felt my heart break again just at hearing his voice. "Hi, Clara. I..." He paused and took a breath, voice sad. "Hopefully you won't ever see this. I have an appointment later with a specialist, to see if the latest treatment helped, and with any luck I'll come back tonight and delete this. But... they didn't seem to think it had much chance of working, and..." He closed his eyes. "If you're watching this, then it means... I'm not with you anymore."

He was quiet for a moment, then he slowly opened his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but... I knew it would worry you, and... I didn't want that. You've always been happy, and you've always made me happy, and... I need that now. I don't want to see you upset, or worried, but... I know this is going to hurt you when I'm gone, and... I'm sorry." Flen went quiet again and looked down at his lap, where his hands were holding something. "I'm going to say goodbye to everybody else if it comes to that, but... I want you to have something that lasts longer."

He looked back up at the camera and smiled. "You've always made me smile, Clara. From the day I first met you. That was a long time ago... and I remember being so upset at first, that everybody else had gotten a Pokemon but me... but... I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't change a thing about that, because it meant later I found you. You've been the best Pokemon I could ever ask for - you've been there for me every time I needed it, and you've made my life so much happier. Thank you, Clara."

Flen grew silent again and looked back down at his hands, and I realized he was hiding tears of his own. "I... I'm going to miss you. But... I don't know if you even remember, but... I made you a promise back then, when I first met you. And I'm going to make sure I can keep it, even after I'm... after I'm gone." He was quiet again, then slowly lifted his head and forced a smile. "I told you that if you would come with me, you'd have plenty of food. You'd be safe. And... you'd never have to be alone again. And that..." He closed his eyes again, breaking off into a soft sniffle before continuing. "That's why this message is also for you, Sara. Because I need to ask you a favor. You still have three openings on your team when I'm recording this, but if things have changed and you've filled up your team by the time... by the time you watch this, or if you don't want to for some other reason, then Perry has already agreed to in that case, but if not... will you take care of Clara for me, please? I know you'll be good to her. I've seen how well you took care of Opal, just on instinct without knowing anything about being a trainer. And you've learned so much more since then and gotten even better. I know you'll take great care of her, and... I know with Opal, she'll never be alone. Even if... even if I'm not there for her."

Flen lowered his head again and looked down, towards his hands. "I'm so, so sorry, Clara... that I won't be there when you're watching this, that I can't hold you again and tell you it will be okay, that I won't be able to play with you, or have more battles with you, or all the other things I've loved doing with you. I'm going to make sure I fill the rest of the days I have after I make this message with those things, and try and leave you with as many happy memories as I can, but... I know it won't be the same. And I'm sorry for that."

He squeezed his hands together, around whatever he was holding there, then separated them. One hand came up to pull a necklace over his head, and I recognized it - the Heart badge, the one he kept as a pendant and wore on a necklace. He tucked it back under his shirt, where he normally wore it, then looked back at the camera. "But I'm not sorry for even one single second of the time we had together. You've been the best Pokemon any trainer could ever wish for, and I'm so glad I was lucky enough to be your trainer. Goodbye, Clarity."

Flen smiled another sad, forced smile, and turned away from the screen. He reached out an arm to the sleeping Espeon, resting his hand gently on her. "Good morning Clara. It's time to wake up."

His other hand came up to the screen, and the recording ended.

I pulled the phone towards me and cried. I was still crying when the doctor finally arrived, with Sara right behind her. I cried through the doctor's examination, even though she used soft words and was gentle with her pokes and squeezes. I was down to sniffles when the doctor reluctantly said I should be okay as long as I took it easy and made sure to eat, to make up for what I had lost while asleep, and said I could go. And I cried again, I sobbed, when Sara opened the envelope and showed me the single item inside - the last gift Flen had left for me.

But I didn't feel cold. Opal stayed next to me every second, letting me lean on him even when the doctor tried to suggest he move, and kept me warm.

---

I spent the next few days at the gym after I left the PokeCenter. Nobody else really wanted to go into it - the trainers were all at the championships, and everybody in town was letting us have the place to ourselves. It was just the six of us - Flen's team. I knew what Flen had asked, what he had hoped for, but... I couldn't. Not yet.

Shells came by to see me a few times - I tried to apologize, but he told me it was okay, and that I didn't need to. Opal and Feren came by too, but for the most part it was just the six of us from Flen's team. I think... we needed the time together. Alone.

There were still times that I wanted to just fall asleep and never wake up. Where I just felt despair from Flen being gone, and didn't... didn't want to face another day without him. But Opal's words stuck with me. Maybe I didn't know how to make Flen smile anymore - but I knew that it would break his heart if he somehow learned I had just... stopped. I didn't know how he would find out, or even if he could, not for sure, but I didn't want to risk it. So I kept waking up each day, even though it hurt. For his sake. And I talked to him, the way Opal had said Phoenix talked to his father. Flen's gift gave me a way to do that. When it got to be too much I would go to his office in the gym and just talk. Usually about how much I missed him, though gradually it changed to talking of things I thought he would like to hear. Funny moments. The Championship results. How others were taking news of his... his...

Eventually it was time for the funeral. They had held off on it - with the championship happening, they didn't want to interrupt anything and wanted to make sure everybody could attend who wanted to. And a lot of people wanted to. Other gym leaders. League officials. People from Jyrrian City who had been helped out by us, people from other towns who had been helped out by us. A lot of trainers, more than I could believe, each of them with a Heart badge. There were speeches for most of the day from some of them, but most just walked by the casket and said things. I don't know who started it, but at some point a trainer left their Heart badge at the casket, and then everybody started doing that, and soon there was a large pile of badges resting on the ground.

I think everybody was crying at that point. Even Skarmory. I know I was.

When the speeches were finished, they made time for us - his Pokemon team. The others went before me - everybody had to move out of the way for Obsidian, so he went first. I put a light screen around the casket so our words would be private. I didn't think it would be right for anyone else to hear what we had to say. Even each other. Obsidian eventually turned away and moved to rest beside Todd, who lifted a hand to rest on the Steelix's cool side. Flutter went up next. There were a lot of murmuring and whispers as the Vivillon flew up - he had what everybody called the 'elegant' style of wings, and it really was pretty to see him flying - but everybody grew quiet again when he landed gracefully on the pile of badges and spoke up at the casket. He spoke for a time, then flew to sit in an empty chair beside Tammy. Spot took his place before the casket, and the Manectric rested a paw on the pile of badges as he spoke to Flen. When he was finished he walked back down the aisle and stopped beside Perry, sitting up next to Shells.

Then Skarmory went, then Absol. They had decided not to join a new trainer - Skarmory had said nobody else was worth the trouble, and Absol had said he would be needed elsewhere too often to be fair to another trainer. They left the funeral together, heading out of town on their own separate ways. And after that... it was just me.

Nobody said anything when I walked down the aisle up to the casket. I stared at the pile of Heart badges, still unbelieving. There were so many... so many trainers who had been taught by Flen, who had fought against me and the rest of Flen's Pokemon, so many who had learned to be better trainers because of what Flen did at this gym.

But before all of that... Flen had helped me. Had been there for me.

I slowly placed the candy bar I had brought with me on top of the pile of badges and looked up at the casket. I reached for the place in my thoughts where Flen had always been, knowing there would be nothing coming back but silence, but I spoke into it anyways. "Thank you for everything... I miss you. I want to see you again someday, and play again... but... until then... thank you for making sure I'm not alone."

I turned and walked away from the casket. Opal had been right - Flen wasn't in there; he was somewhere else. I didn't walk back to the rest of Flen's team. I walked down the aisle until I got where Sara was sitting, and sat on the ground next to her.

She wasn't my trainer - Flen would always be my trainer. But... he had made sure there was somebody still here for me when he couldn't be. I would let her take care of me in his place, until he could again.

I reached a paw up and touched the Soothe Bell still hanging off my collar, and the Heart badge that now also rested on my collar, with the metal ring threaded through the small hole in it. It didn't feel cold, not anymore - it felt warm. I smiled and reached back to that quiet place in my thoughts. "Until we're together again, Flen."

---

A shooting star broke the otherwise still night sky, making the graveyard a tiny bit brighter as the breeze whispered through it. "I hear your wish."