Hope
#3 of K and M
They say that what makes a place home is the connections we form to it, the people we know, the events that happened there, even just memories, good and bad. But it all starts somewhere, with a single link. Often times, its a friend, one that you know you can depend on, who will never turn away.
Anyways, as always, let me know what you think of my continuing cathartic processing of dealing with painful memories. Hope you enjoy.
Seven years ago
Michiko walked out of the door that Kael courteously held open for her, laughing so hard that she almost choked on her bubble tea. In the three years that Michiko had lived in Mastira city, her friendship with Kael was definitely the thing she had liked the most. It was more than the fact that he made a point to include her in everything he and his group of friends did. It was more too, than the fact that the pair shared so many interests, more even than him always being nice, not just to her, but to everyone. He was just so... cool. He seemed to get along with everyone, and seemed to instinctually know what to do or to say to make a situation better. The thing she cherished the most about the wolf was that, he had this way of drawing her out of her shell. It wasn't that he worked his way through her defenses to find out her secrets, like some people she had known had done, but rather that he seemed to make the defenses unnecessary, almost. It was almost like being around him made everyone comfortable with everyone else.
Starting down the street that led past the castle and into their neighborhood, Michiko looked at her friend again and couldn't help but smile. Their 'Knights and Knaves' games had lasted all through the first summer and right up until the winter, when snow had made them move inside. The game had started to lose its appeal anyway by that point, since there was only so many ways a game could go. But, though they had stopped playing the game, Kael had never stopped working with the sword, his family traditions keeping him training alongside his siblings, and he taught her in turn. Though she wasn't formally trained, like those who studied at the schools, or the knight families like Kael and his kin, her skills were growing, and her confidence was growing with it. Kael was not her only friend, but he certainly was her best friend.
Now that the young wolf was reaching puberty and growing out of his childish size, he was starting to show the results of his training, already beginning to look muscular and fit. Michiko figured that he would probably end up being the sort of super handsome, super popular sort of teen boy that had girls hanging off of him all the time, and when that happened, he wouldn't have time for her anymore. And good for him, really. If it happened that way, she wouldn't hold a grudge. He deserved it, good person that he was. But for today, she still had her friend, and they were spending the afternoon in each other's company, like they usually did after school, since they lived in the same neighborhood. But, under the undeniably warm feeling of having a best friend like him, deep down inside, the old fear lurked inside her, the fear of what would happen when he found out about her.
Michiko had never gone this long without someone finding out she was a herm before, and the longer it went on, the greater her fear of that inevitably horrible day. She thought she knew Kael well enough by now to imagine that she could even come right out and tell him without it being a problem. After all, he never acted mean, or cruel to anyone, so how could he possibly behave like that to a friend, maybe his best friend, if she was that? But what had always stopped her when she had been tempted was that she knew, without the slightest doubt, that she couldn't take it if he reacted the way everyone always did to her revelation. So she had kept it hidden, never said a word about it. The fact that no one at all had found out yet was partly a miracle, and partly careful planning on her part. She had always begged off going swimming, for instance, because she knew she couldn't hide her extra bits in the form fitting swim suits everyone wore. And in the locker rooms at school, she had always taken great care not to change in front of anyone, always taking a bathroom stall to do it.
A sudden chill breeze that was more winter than autumn suddenly scythed down the block, swirling up under the pleated folds of the skirt she was wearing, making her shiver and breaking her train of thought. Looking up at the sky, Michiko frowned, finding the first dark clouds of a thunderstorm sweeping across the sky, coming in from the sea. The weather report hadn't called for rain today, or she would have worn pants instead of the light skirt. She had worn the light weight garment because she had wanted one last opportunity to wear the skirt before winter set in, and today had seemed like the perfect day for it. Hopefully, they would get home before the storm broke, and she wouldn't need the jacket she had foolishly left at home, despite her mother's reminders. Shaking off the thought, she returned her attention to her friend, who had paused in his talking to sip from his chai latte, both picking up their pace to make the crossing signal ahead.
"So," Michiko started to say as they passed the castle grounds, heading into their neighborhood. "When is the test?"
"Hmmm?" Kael replied, looking at her with a blank look for a moment, as if his mind was elsewhere, then his eyes widened a little in surprise when he understood what she was asking. "Oh! Next weekend. Sorry, I was zoning out a little there."
"Its alright." She replied, smiling at his confusion. The test she was talking about was the one to enter the next phase of knight training, when it ceased to be about moral education and adolescent sparring, and became a far more serious form of training, emphasizing toughness and full on combat skill, rather than form and technique. From what he had told her about it before, it became rough, and sometimes dangerous. Still, the wolf had been training hard for it lately, and she wished him all success with it. "I wish I could be there."
"Me too." He replied, returning her smile with his tail wagging. "Unfortunately, its students and trainers only. Even my parents aren't allowed."
"Well, I will wish you all the luck I can." Michiko said, then nearly jumped out of her fur when something heavy and cold smacked the top of her muzzle. "Ow."
Looking around, startled, she jumped again when a loud peal of thunder echoed above the city, signaling the start of the storm. A few moments later, that first heavy drop was followed by thousands of its brethren, cascading out of the sky in sheets. No normal thunderstorm this; no, the rain was suddenly falling so heavily that it was as if the storm wanted to make a good first impression. Michiko immediately held her hand to her head, protecting her eyes from the downpour, looking down as it hit full force. They hadn't even made it a full block, and she was already soaked. That thought was important, though she couldn't think why for a moment, shivering as the wind drove the rain right into her face. Grimacing, Michiko tried to pick up her pace again, to hurry to her home, but she found that surprisingly difficult, the light material of her skirt wrapping itself around her thighs like it was trying to hug her. Why did I think it was a good idea to wear this thing today?! She demanded of herself, looking down.
And then, she realized it had been an even worse idea than she had expected, the sour taste of horror rising up in her so fast she almost threw up. The traitorous skirt wasn't just clinging to her legs, oh no. It was clinging between them as well, and she was immediately aware of the sudden definition in her loins, unmistakable to anyone who looked. Dropping the cup of her bubble tea, she immediately yanked the cloth outward so it didn't broadcast what she was, looking around hurriedly. Maybe she had caught it in time, maybe no one would have noticed. Maybe Kael hadn't... One look froze her in place, the horror going ice cold, the sick feeling rising so fast now that she had to swallow against a sudden lump. Her friend had been looking down, like she had, shielding his eyes from the deluge, and she knew that, polite though he was, he couldn't help but have seen it. Shit.
This was it. This was the moment she had feared. Far worse than any scenario she had imagined, mother nature herself had decided that today was the day. It had to have been today, when her best friend found out. Well, former best friend now. Turning away, Michiko tried to ignore that thought, tried not to feel like a knife had been driven into her chest. It had been nice while it lasted, having a friend like him. It had been nice living here, but now it was going to end, just like all the other times. Closing her eyes, she was already bracing herself for the reaction she knew was coming. She couldn't face it, couldn't stand to look at him, and see the disgust in his eyes. If she didn't look, she wouldn't see, and it wouldn't happen. But she would have to look eventually. Best to get it over with... And then, as she prepared to open her eyes, she suddenly realized the rain wasn't falling on her head anymore. An odd, pattering sound had replaced the sensation and she opened her eyes a crack, surprised. The rain was still falling, and falling hard around her, but it wasn't falling on her. Looking upward, she suddenly saw why, but she couldn't understand it at first.
A cloth canopy was stretched above her, holding the rain at bay, and she looked around in surprise. Kael was standing at her side, exactly where he had been moments ago, but he had removed his jacket, holding it over her head like a makeshift umbrella while the rain drenched him instead. Looking over at him in surprise, she stared, uncomprehendingly. The disgust and irrational hate she had expected to see in his eyes wasn't there. He was looking at her exactly the way he always had. He wasn't leaning away from her as if she was contagious, or as if he feared he might accidentally touch her. Rather, he was being the gentlewolf he always was, willingly getting soaked while he shielded her from the worst of the storm with his own jacket. Could he have missed it? Could it be that he simply hadn't seen the proof of what she was?
Suddenly, the horror she felt transmuted into true embarrassment when she realized how rude she was being. Here he was, gallantly sacrificing his own comfort to increase hers, and she was standing still on the sidewalk like a fool, daydreaming. Smiling despite her shame, she started walking, the wolf matching her pace, still using his jacket to deflect the rain away from her while they walked. It was far too loud in the storm to talk, but they didn't need to talk right now anyway. They were headed in the same direction, and she was surprised at how quickly the trip took. It seemed like time was playing games with them today, because, in seemingly no time at all, they were standing on the porch of her house, Kael shaking the excess rain from his jacket while she fished her keys out of her purse.
When the door was unlocked, she quickly stepped inside, finding the house empty, as she had known it would be. The familiar scents of home, endlessly renewed by her and her mother's presence were as faded as they ever could be, the storm scent overpowering it through the open windows. Using both hands to gently squeeze the majority of the rain out of her fluffy ringed tail, which, thanks to Kael, was the only part of her that had truly gotten soaked and turned around to thank him, but the young wolf wasn't there. Instead, he was standing on the porch still, near the steps, looking out towards the street and sliding his sodden jacket on again. The fear was back again, this time with reinforcements. If he had indeed seen, then this might be the last goodbye between them, and right at that moment, she knew she couldn't take that; she wouldn't let it happen.
"Now that I have discharged my duty as a knight, in seeing you safely home," He began, smiling at her in his usual way, "I should be heading homeward myself."
"Not soaking wet, you aren't." Michiko stated firmly, reaching out and grabbing his arm to stop him before he could take a single step off the porch. To her relief, he didn't flinch away from the unexpected touch, merely looking at her with surprise. Maybe he really hadn't seen anything at all... "Especially not since you are soaked because of me. Come in and dry off for a while at least."
"Well, if milady insists..." He replied, teasing her with his courtly manners, giving a bow. The wolf paused in the middle of the porch for a moment, looking at her speculatively, then shook himself in that quintessential canine manner, throwing water all over the place and making her throw up her hands, shielding herself from the spray with a laugh. Grinning at her as he finished the shake with a sweeping flick of his tail, he stepped into the house after her and stood on the mat, his clothes still dripping, the scent of wet canine putting up a good fight against the smell of the house.
"Wait here and I will get you a towel." She said, hurrying upstairs to grab a pair from the linen closet. With the thick, sweetly scented rolls of cloth in hand, she felt the first vestiges of relief wash over her. Her secret was safe again, it had to be. It would have been too much of a surprise for anyone not to comment on it; it always had been. Still, she thought, looking down at her sodden clothes with a frown. Better not to tempt fate. Going back to the head of the stairs, she called down to her friend, who looked up just in time to catch the towel she tossed down to him. "I'm going to change my clothes while you dry off. I won't be a moment."
"'Kay." Kael replied, taking off the soaked jacket once more and hanging it on a free peg by the door before scrubbing his head fur with the towel. Encouraged, Michiko went to her room and started stripping out of her wet clothes. She draped the thin, traitorous skirt over the back of her desk chair, likewise the panties she had been wearing, which were similarly soaked. Her shirt was only damp and still serviceable, she decided, thanks again to Kael, but she needed to dry her fur off still, so it joined the rest of her clothes on the chair. Slipping on a fresh pair of underwear and scrubbing her legs and tail dry with the towel, she paused for a moment, looking at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the closet door. Despite the extra parts that set her so far apart from her peers, she liked the way she looked, especially the pattern of her fur. She looked a lot like her mother, but much more colorful, orange where her mother was crimson, crimson where her mother's fur was black. But she also had a patch of snowy white across her front, from just below her belly button to the hollow of her throat, a legacy from her father, like the vulpine ears that crowned her head, and the white tip of her otherwise fiery tail.
Pushing aside the mirror along with the door, she looked into her closet instead, looping the towel around her neck, trying to pick out clothes that would hide her secret, without being so extreme a change in style from her skirt that it would excite comment. Unfortunately, most of the clothes hanging up in the closet wouldn't work, being either along the same lines of the skirt she had been wearing, or heavier clothes which were too different in style. Turning around at a particularly loud peal of thunder outside her window, her gaze fell on a pair of cargo pants she had negligently tossed onto the window seat the day before. Nodding to herself slowly as she finished with the towel, Michiko considered it carefully. They had been in the male department of the store, but they suited her, and she had worn them often enough to make them normal to anyone who knew her.
Plucking the pants off the window seat, she paused a moment, surprised to find that they had been lying on top of the sword that Kael had given her the day they had met. She had laid the toy sword on the window seat weeks ago, when she had been digging around in her closet, and promptly forgot about it, and here it was again, while the person who had given it to her was downstairs. Puzzled by the coincidence, Michiko slipped the pants on over her damp legs, then slipped her shirt back on and headed out of the bedroom. Pausing long enough to hang the towel on the rack in the bathroom, Michiko made her way downstairs, freshly clad in dry clothes to find Kael sitting on the towel on the couch in the living room.
The wolf was watching an episode of 'Camp Mischief', a silly almost-sitcom cartoon taking place at a summer camp that they both enjoyed. The show was the usual fare, with the teenage protagonists displaying the typical array of off the wall skills to solve ridiculous problems in every episode. It always seemed to hit the right notes for kids their age, to the point of most of the kids at school watching it regularly. Kael's ears flicked towards her when she came into the room, and he looked over, offering her a nod of greeting, making no comment on her choice of clothing. When she was settled into the other side of the couch, the two friends watched the rest of the episode in their usual manner, laughing together as they had done so many times before. Then, as the episode came to an end and she took the remote to switch to another channel, Kael said something that she didn't expect at all.
"Can I ask you a question?" Kael asked, and she looked over at him in surprise. His posture was unlike anything she had ever seen on him before. He was always confident, always at ease, even when he was dueling. But now, his ears were sideways, halfway flattened, his tail curled in close to his side, and the look in his eyes was...nervous? Apprehensive maybe? She had never seen him look like that before, and she nodded, her own tail giving a nervous wiggle at her side. "Why do you hide what you are?"
The question was so off the wall, so startlingly unfamiliar that she was taken aback, the icy knife of horror poised to drive itself into her heart like a specter. The truth slammed into place in her mind in an instant. He had seen. Her secret was out. Her mind was racing, trying to reassemble the defenses she had relaxed, bracing for the outburst that would come next, it always did. Except... the young white wolf wasn't following the script. There was no disgust in his gaze, no angry outburst on his lips. Then what he had actually asked her registered and she barely managed to stumble out a reply.
"W-what?" She asked, her subconscious palming its forehead at the word. Brilliant, Michiko, that helps a bunch. At her obvious startled surprise, she saw a small smile crease her friends lips again.
"Why hide it at all?" He asked, obviously assuming he hadn't been clear. "I mean, its nothing to be ashamed of."
"You are about the only one who thinks so." She found herself replying, and the wolf's ears folded back all the way, his head cocking to the side, clearly surprised at her response. Even as the words left her lips, the part of the truth she had missed suddenly popped into the front of her head and she barely managed to stop her mouth from falling open in surprise. He really was surprised, but not that she was a herm, but that she, that anyone, would think it was something to be ashamed of. "Everyone I have ever met who found out, has acted like I have some sort of disease, or have tried to hurt me because of it."
"Really?!" He asked, obviously startled. "That is...that is so wrong."
"I...I know." She said, and it was her turn to be startled. This really wasn't the way she had expected this conversation to go. "Its not like I chose to be this way." Kael nodded in agreement and suddenly, something else occurred to her and she shook her head. "Hang on... You aren't...freaked out by me being...this?"
"Huh? No." Kael replied, seeming genuinely even more confused. "This doesn't change anything about you and you are still my friend, so..." The wolf gave a shrug and she gaped at him. "What?"
"Nothing, I guess..." She stated, looking down, suddenly ashamed of her own reaction. "Its just...I have never had anyone say that, before."
"Well, you have now." Kael said, giving a decisive nod, as if that settled that. Michiko had to admit, it kind of did.
At a loss for what to say next, Michiko fell silent, and after a few moments, the pair returned their attention back to the TV, channel surfing for a few minutes. The hybrid girl found herself not really paying attention to what was on the screen, sneaking glances at the wolf at the other end of the couch instead. He was watching the TV as if wholly unconcerned by what he had learned, and she marveled at how he could be so calm, when she felt so odd. She felt so...light, relaxed almost, as if a pressure that had been building inside her had suddenly been released. Finally, she realized what it was that felt so different. Without the weight of the secret hanging over her, over them, really, she felt far freer than she ever had in her life. Finally settling on another show they were familiar with, Michiko returned the remote to the coffee table and settled back, trying to get used to the new feeling, the icy knife that had always been there before when she thought about this nowhere to be found. She had never realized just how much of her life hiding the secret had taken up until she wasn't. It really was a bizarre feeling, and she wasn't even close to knowing how to react to it.
"I won't tell anyone." Kael said softly, and she looked over at him in surprise, breaking her reverie. He wasn't looking at her, but his tail was wagging slightly on the couch beside him. "In case you were wondering."
"I didn't think you would." Michiko replied, realizing it was true, her own tail starting to match his pace. That was just who he was. A secret was a secret to him, period.
"Can I ask you another question?" He asked, glancing over at her, his head cocked to the side again. She nodded and he continued. "What is it like?" At first, she had no idea what he meant, but then she understood. "I mean, I don't intend that to be rude, but I have never known anyone like you before, so I am curious."
"Well..." the panda fox began, settling back to think. "I am not sure how to answer that. I guess I don't fit in with either girls or boys. So I end up sort of not fitting into any group. I mean, its all normal for me, so I guess I don't have anything to compare it to." Kael didn't interrupt her while she was thinking, and eventually she continued. "For instance, I have never really had the same interests that most girls have. I mean, I have never really cared about makeup and fashion and so on, but I do like the way skirts and dresses feel."
"Except when they get soaked, obviously." Kael remarked with a grin and she chuckled.
"Yeah, except then." She said, his easy humor drawing her on with her description. "But I also like clothes like these, and as you know, I like playing games like Knights and Knaves, where as most girls don't. I have never had anyone that I fit in with, and that also meant that when people found out about me, my mother would move us, because there wasn't a reason to stay anymore. I guess it made it easier, that I don't fit anywhere."
"I don't think that is true." Kael stated, looking at her seriously and she cocked her head, confused. "Not that it made it easier, I mean, but that you don't fit anywhere. I think you fit here."
"Really?" Michiko asked, surprised. The wolf nodded, and she settled back against the couch, trying to work out what exactly he meant.
"I mean, you like it here, right?" He asked and she nodded. "And you have friends here, so I think you fit."
"I guess you are right..." Michiko replied slowly, unable to find fault with his logic, then turned at the sound of the garage door opening. A little more than a minute later, Michiko's mother came into the house and seemed pleasantly surprised to see the young wolf on the couch.
"Hello Mrs. Sakai." Kael said cheerily, waving.
"Hello Kael." Yuki replied, smiling at him.
"Michiko invited me in because of the storm." He explained and her mother looked at Michiko with a surprised glance. "I hope that is alright."
"Of course it is, dear." She said smiling when Michiko didn't look remotely embarrassed, obviously taking the situation at face value. "You are welcome to stay for dinner if you want. The storm is supposed to ease up in a bit."
"I would like that, thank you." The wolf said, giving a seated bow that made Yuki smile. Michiko couldn't help but grin as well. Maybe Kael was right, maybe she did fit here...
***
The echoing peal of thunder from an especially close strike of lightning snapped Michiko out of her wandering memory, bringing her back to the present with an unpleasant jolt. Shaking her head and forcing herself to focus on what she was doing, the hybrid girl breathed a sigh of relief as the condo complex came into sight down the street. Unlike the apartment where Andy lived, this complex wasn't the ubiquitous arrangement one found surrounding college campuses, with cookie cutter buildings encircled by parking lots filled with older vehicles and bicycles by the dozen. Rather, it was somewhat higher end, and probably expensive, which ruled it out as a place where most students could afford to live. Kael was only able to live there because some uncle of his or another owned one of the units, ostensibly as a rental property, and he had been nice enough to let her friend live there while he attended school. Pulling up in the parking lot, Michiko put the car in park and took hold of the key, starting to switch the car off, but stopped, looking up at the building before her. The lights were on in the windows of the top unit where he lived and suddenly, her certainty was shaken.
What if he had plans tonight, plans that she would be interrupting by showing up unannounced? He probably did, knowing the sort of life that he tended to lead, making every moment count, as it were. Letting go of the key, Michiko sat back in the seat, her ears folding flat disconsolately, looking up through the rain blurred windshield at her destination. What right did she even have to inflict her problems on her best friend, the nicest person she had ever met? She couldn't just show up on his doorstep out of the blue and unload the whole horrible weight of her problems on him. She could always turn her phone back on and call him, but even that idea gave her pause. Assuming she could get through to him without Andy interrupting her, what could she possibly say? 'I've had a horrible day and I really need to talk to someone, oh and by the way, I'm right outside in my car, because I just assumed you would be available to talk.' Yeah, 'cause that wouldn't be the least bit awkward. More awkward than just showing up at his door, though? But, then again, didn't it amount to the same thing? She was still kind of at his door right now anyway, wasn't she?
Shivering, she felt the roiling sadness and anger of the day's events building up in her mind as her subconscious took her lack of movement as an invitation for further consideration of the gaping hole in her heart. She had to make a decision, she knew. Sitting here in the car was not going to do it, not by a long shot. Kael had always been that one friend, the always dependable friend, the one she could tell literally anything, and have no fear of something bad happening because of it. In fact, their close friendship had led some people to draw the wrong conclusions, sometimes to a hilarious degree.
Smiling slightly, she remembered an incident with Naomi, before the late night encounter that had led to the complicated past they shared. They had been in their junior year in high school and she had met up with Naomi before class, after walking to school with Kael. It was a completely normal thing for the two of them, since they had been walking to school together since they were little, and when he had split off to catch up with Gregg, still a mutual friend, Naomi had said Michiko was so lucky to be with Kael, and that she would love to be in Michiko's shoes. Michiko hadn't understood what the mouse girl was talking about, until she noticed the dreamy-eyed expression she was wearing, staring after the wolf.
Even at sixteen, Kael had been every inch the sort of very handsome teen boy that was every bit as popular and desirable as she had once imagined him to be, seeming to have skipped right over the awkward stage that teens usually go through. The difference to her middle school expectations had been that he still always had time for her, still hanging out with her as they always had, never being too busy. She had explained all of that to Naomi, and the mouse had been shocked, looking at her like she was crazy. Naomi had then said that if this was some cheesy teen drama, Michiko would be the one who, after the usual misadventures, would end up with him, despite all the other girls wanting him.
They had shared a good laugh over it, but, since this was real life and not a movie, she and Kael had remained close friends only, neither trying to make it go into the territory of romance. They both had dated in high school, Kael more than her, she freely admitted, and it hadn't changed anything between them. Although, she had to admit, she had always been surprised that he hadn't found a steady partner yet. She had always expected someone to snap him up, but the girls he had dated in high school hadn't seemed to know what they had, always doing something stupid enough to lose him.
When he had started dating a male fox named Dan midway through their freshman year of college, it had seemed to surprise everyone else, but not her, not really. It was sort of startling at first, to see him walking around hand in hand with another male, but the novelty of that had faded within a week or two and she hadn't even noticed after that. What had been surprising to her was how that relationship had ended. There had been no mistake on either of their parts, at least not one that anyone knew about, no blow up, or messy break up. They had just kind of stopped dating one day, and she had no doubt that, if he were to find the right guy, he would be just as happy as if he found the right girl.
All of that wasn't to say that she hadn't fantasized about him sometimes, of course. That sort of thing was probably inevitable, considering the effects of having the combined hormones of a teenaged male and a teenaged female running through her at the same time. Besides, Kael was the sort of handsome that he didn't need to put effort into looking good, to look good. Not to mention that it took all of about ten seconds of being in his company for anyone to realize that he was very kind, and easy going, the sort of 'good catch' that most people said they wanted. But, she had always felt a little guilty to think about him that way, even though that made very little sense. On the one hand, wasn't it natural to be attracted to someone like him? Everyone else apparently was. But on the other, it almost felt disrespectful to picture the handsome wolf naked... or to want to have him touch her like a lover might, his familiar hands roaming freely over her... or to dream about him doing... Shaking her head violently, she banished that extremely unhelpful train of thought before she could get excited and turned off the car. That particular imagery was entirely the fault of her ruined plans, she knew, her body having gotten steadily more worked up throughout the day, knowing what should have been coming in the evening. Finally, she heaved a heavy sigh. What other choice was there? It was either impose upon her friend, or go back to her apartment and be lonely and miserable.
Bracing herself for the cold rain, she opened the door and stepped out, once again hurrying to the stairs and heading up to the top. She was thoroughly soaked again by the time she reached the door, and she shuddered with the cold, the changes in temperature she had encountered today having gotten through her fur. What was it about stormy days that always seemed to make a storm of bad emotions swirl inside her, anyway? Reaching out, she took a breath, then knocked on the door.
For a moment, she feared that he hadn't heard her, same as Andy, but then, she felt the footsteps over the rain and relief washed over her. He was home at least. But, at the same time, a brief thrill of fear washed over her and she tried to push it back with the rest, but she wasn't going to be able to hold it all back much longer. The anger, pain and sadness were welling up inside her again, and this time, she knew there was no stopping it. She was going to break down, but she willed herself to hold back a little bit longer. She wasn't going to make a scene, not here, and not now. A moment later, the lock on the door clicked and it swung open to reveal a familiar figure.
Kael stood at the door in all his familiar glory, tall, lean, fit and handsome, dressed in a plain T-shirt and shorts, a few strands of his white hair having escaped the ponytail he wore it in, the traditional style of the knights. But, as she took in the fact that he looked a little rumpled and sleepy, as if he had just woken up, a wave of scent from the condo reached her nostrils and she almost shuddered in relief as it crashed over her. The familiar scent of her friend was like a second storm front, crashing headlong into her mind, a front of earthy male canine, tinged with notes of cinnamon and the warm spices of the chai tea he loved to drink; an olfactory delight that almost made her lose all sense of control, cracking the barriers holding her emotions inside. The wolf seemed confused to have someone at his door, but when he saw who it was, he perked up instantly, his silver lined, white furred ears standing up straight on the top of his head. His bright expression changed in a hurry however, when he saw the expression on her face, the tremble of the storm inside her, surprise changing to concern in an instant.
"Michiko, what's wrong?" He questioned, and the obvious concern in his voice did it. At once, the dam broke and before she could think twice, she flung herself forward, a sob wrenching its way out of her throat as she buried her face in his chest, the tears mixing with the rain on her fur as she cried. For a moment, only a moment, she was certain that she had gone too far, that she had crossed some sort of line between them, and he would push her away; that this would be the moment when this last, vital lifeline was cut. And then, that dark vision was shattered, the wolf putting his arms around her, hugging her gently to him instead. He didn't say anything, didn't try and back up, or even to let her go long enough to shut the door. Instead, he stood there and held her as she cried, one hand gently stroking her back through her sodden shirt, his chin resting on the top of her head. His warm scent filled every breath, and already she felt the storm subsiding, blasted apart in the face of his presence. Safe. the scent said, ringing like the tone of a bell through her soul. Always safe... And so, finally, she stopped trying to hold it all back, allowing herself to cry as the storm raged beyond the threshold...