The Photographers Apprentice - Chapter ten: Déjà Vu

Story by Devon Bearcoon on SoFurry

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#10 of Photographers Apprentice.


Chapter ten: ** Déjà V **u

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"BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!"

The loud buzzing sound pushed its way into my head, slowly followed by the morning sunlight streaming through the window. Gently pushing the naked, sleeping Racoon from off of my chest, I switched my alarm off and sat on the edge of the bed in a tired, half asleep daze.

"Wait a minute..." I said to myself, realizing that my alarm didn't actually Buzz... "If that wasn't the alarm, then it must have been-" "BZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" The sound rang out again, this time distinctively from downstairs.

"The doorbell!! Awwwh, again!?" I moaned, quickly pulling some jeans on and scrambling down the stairs. I was felt with a distinct feeling of Déjà Vu as I opened the door and was met eye to eye with the same striped face that was standing in my doorway just 24 hours ago.

"Come back for more have you?" I snapped, quickly waking up and letting my defences take over.

"P-please, can we talk? Can I come in?" Peter said drearily, looking rather worn out, the sarcastic grin that he wore on his face the day before, had all but turned to a look of desperation as he repeated himself, "Please?"

"Um, sure... Come in, Peter." I said as I welcomed the Tiger into the hallway, feeling slightly confused. "Take a seat, let's talk." I offered Peter a seat at the dining room table and sat opposite him.

The nervous looking Tiger stared blankly at me for a few moments, before putting his head in his paws, looking down at the table he started shaking his head from side to side.

"I-I think you were right... Arthur." He said as he looked up, his eyes bleary and bloodshot. His nerves were now consuming him as he began to tremble. "I-I-I..."Peter stuttered.

Raising my eyebrow, I knew what he was going to say - or rather, admit. "Go on...?" I hinted, trying not to show the amusement in my voice too much.

"I've been using my homophobia as a way to deal with myself..." Peter blurted out, just before Todd walked in wearing his light blue Pyjamas, his bushy striped tail poking out the back of them, swooshing from side to side as he strolled into the dining room. His smiling, happy face suddenly turning a lot more sullen as his eyes laid upon the disdained Tiger slumped over the dinner table."What's he doing here?" Todd mouthed, as he tiptoed past the oblivious Tiger and into the Kitchen as I shushed him.

"What do you mean 'deal with yourself'?" I asked, eager to hear the words leave Peters mouth.

"I think... Well, you've made me come to terms with the fact that... I'm gay." He took a deep breath and awaited my reaction.

"I told you!" I heard Todd shout from the kitchen as he then emerged in doorway, stuffing his cheeks full of coco pops, a broad grin now smeared across his muzzle.Peter was too emotionally fatigued to retort to Todd's half insult.

I shot Todd a concerned look and patted the chair next to me, motioning for the Raccoon to sit down and keep it zipped. "So, what you're saying is... You was using this 'Homophobic' 'Macho' exterior as a mask, to distract people from how you was really feeling inside?" I pulled Peters paws away from his face, to try and get him to open up a little more.

"Y-yes... I guess so. But everything you said to me yesterday, it's just made me realize... I don't want to be this horrible; homophobic, insulting Tiger any more. I don't want to waste my life being restricted, being scared of who I truly am. I've just been so scared of what everyone would think of me. What it would to do my image. What it would do to my family, them knowing that I had become something that I had apparently hated so much."

Peter fought back his tears, and carried on. "I didn't mean it yesterday - how it sounded. When I said that I found it disgusting that you two was together, or that any gay couple are together... Deep down I guess I just found it disgusting because I know that I've missed out on all of that, 'love' and affection that I've seen you two share. I've had such bitter remorse at seeing homosexuals together because I've never been able to accept that I am one, because I've been scared of what it would do to my image."

"But you said yourself that your image was just a mask, to hide how you really felt inside..." Todd said, spluttering coco pops milk out of his mouth as I handed him a napkin.

"Exactly, so why would you care about what other people think. If that image was just a front and a lie - why should you care?" I continued.

Peter grabbed a napkin and dabbed the tears starting to form around his eyes, "I know I shoudn't... But I do. People respect me - "Respect you for being a homophobic hypocrite!?" Todd cut him off, once again sending coco pops flying across the table.

Putting a paw on Todd's shoulder to calm him, I calmly said "I'm pretty sure people will respect you even more for coming clean, and living your life how you want to - not how other people expect you to." Peter nodded, as I carried on.

"If your friends don't respect you for what you really are - then they're not true friends at the end of the day..."

"So what do I do!? How do I do this...?" Peter said, looking rather perplexed.

"Well, when I came out - it was kinda easy, because I had Arthur here." Todd said, linking his arm in mine and hugging me, gently placing a kiss on my cheek which left Peter wincing from emotion. "Yes, don't rub it in now, Todd..." I laughed, ruffling his hair as I tried to think of a solution to the problem.

"I guess there's only one thing you can do really... Just take your time, choose your words carefully - and do what I did. Just come out."

Peter scratched his chin, listening inventively, motioning that he wanted me to explain more.

"Well..." I sighed, "There's nothing really to it, at the end of the day, all you have to remember is; that it's your decision, and people should respect that. The people who have the truest and strongest feelings for you will be the ones who stick by you, and that way you'll know who your true friends really are... Trust me, after you've told everyone - yes your life will change - but you'll be happier. Honestly."

The Tiger mustered up a smile and stopped sobbing, standing up and outstretching his paw for me to shake it. "Thank you..." he said, gripping my paw in a firm hold as he rigorously shook it.

"Y-you're welcome!!" I jittered, offering Peter another napkin as he made his way to the front door. "...And good luck!" I continued.

"You're lucky. I hope you realize that..." The Tiger said, bringing back Déjà Vu once again of what he had said the last time we parted, maybe that's what he truly meant, back then in the thicket.

Peter looked over my shoulder and back at the Raccoon sitting at my dining table, slurping his coco pops everywhere in his baggy pyjamas, and let out an emotional sigh. "You're so lucky..." he repeated, before he walked out of the door and into the hot August sunshine. "