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Ok, quick note...... To those of you who have lost someone, are close to losing someone.......... Or almost losing yourself.....

This one's for you....

Enjoy....... Or don't.... It doesn't matter to me really... there will still be a chapter 3...4.....5.....6.... up until I think it's time to end everything....

Which I now have a plan for... so... yeah....

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Chapter 2:** Painful Memories**

The first transition from my quiet life, to one of assumed slavery by having a 'master' wasn't exactly what I would've called a smooth change. But this one seemed different. Sure, I was being carried away in a small box just larger than I was, but, I was almost content to know that I was given a second chance of living amongst other pokémon. Regardless of the fact that it took one pokémon's life to get me to realise that not everything had to be a contest. There didn't always have to be winners or losers. Sometimes it's just better off if you didn't know what was going to happen, and take each action as it came. Instead of trying to control your life and making sure that you followed a routine your entire life just because that was how you wanted it. I did want to live my life alone before I was found the first time. I only wished that it didn't take someone's life for me to realise it. But that was then, and this is now. And now I had a fresh start like nothing had ever happened in my life. A new opportunity to right my wrongs. I only wish Nion was here to see it.

If only he knew how much I regretted my actions, how much I wanted to forget that day. Even today I had already been reminded of my previous life and I had almost lost myself just trying to stop them from repeating it. It's not like I was asking mu-

Are you really in as much pain as it looked like you were? I heard Syne speak to me. I immediately shifted my forepaws around and looked at him walking behind me.

"Why would I fake it? What makes you think I'm not in as much pain as it looked?"

No reason._I continued to look at Syne as best I could. The constant shake of the carrier made it hard to look straight. _I just find it hard to believe that you wouldn't accept any hel-

"It's because I don't need any help. Not from you, not from her, not from anyone. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and considering that I am to be stuck here with you for the rest of whatever time I am to be living with you, it will become clearer to you that I will still, regardless of how long we'd have known each other, will want to do everything on my own accord."

Syne was silent for a few moments, it made me try to assume what he was doing during the time. Whether he was telling Saria or just mulling it over was unknown to me, but, in the end, it didn't matter. I'm sure she was to figure out that part of my life eventually. Better hearing it from him than eventually finding out by how I acted and wanted to be seen as. Fair enough. There was a slight pause between his words, as if not understanding why I thought that way. It didn't matter to me if he understood why I insist on doing everything by myself, that was just how I wanted my life to work, as simple as that. I'm not entirely sure on how long you are to stay either. But, in the interest of keeping our long-term relationship afloat, I shall not ask anymore of you for the moment. But there is still much I want to know.

I gained a slight smirk at the Espeon's comment. Once more, he amazed me by his choice of words and how he delivered them. I believed that we would get along well, if time would allow us to anyway. Even considering the circumstance at that time, if Saria had taken me in for the sole purpose like Draye had done so long ago, if everything continued like it was, Syne would be acceptable. But I didn't want to jump to that conclusion just yet. There was still much I needed to know, and much more I wanted to understand about him before I would even consider the prospect. That I was sure of.

"How far away is your home?"

You mean 'our' home. And it isn't much further. Three more intersections and across the bridge. But I should tell you now. Saria and I don't live alone entirely.

"So when I asked if I was going to be living with any other pokémon, and you said no, you lied to me?"

No, that was the truth. You won't be living with anyone but Saria and myself. Our section of the building is purely for us only. But there are common rooms where other humans and their pokémon spend time to socialise with others and get away from their owners.

"What do you mean?"

Well, if we were locked up in a small room by ourselves for, say... A week, you would get tired of talking to me alone, no?

That last comment hurt me on the inside, even if it wasn't intentional. I wedged my eyes shut and turned around in the carrier, ignoring the shrieks from my hind legs to remain stationary. One week was exactly how long I had spent with Nion, and to think that I had become so attached to the first pokémon that I had ever made contact with that wasn't hostility. I remained silent, not wanting to say the wrong thing to upset him, or make myself feel worse about the whole example.

Luyo? Are you ok?_I continued to hold my eyes shut, fighting back any form of emotion that may've become visible in my expression. _I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have. You know that I'll always be here to talk if you want to.

Even the most sincere, predictable, yet polite comment made me think back to Syne. If he did actually care it would've been strange. Then again Nion cared for me before I had even spoken to him outside of the battle. But I couldn't tell if Syne was genuine on his word. I couldn't tell anything from how he said it. Like there was no expression to it. Like it had just echoed within my mind for nothing. Wait, it was like nothing. Like nothing had been said.

I turned around to face him. Immediately I saw his face lift and ears perk up. "Are you speaking to me telepathically?"

Is that a problem?

I knew it... "With what you told me before, that all psychic types have that ability. Is it possible that types other than psychic can learn the ability?"

I believe so. Or at least that's what I have grown to believe. Months ago I was fighting a Haunter, I believed it was speaking to me via telepathy. So I can only assume that you could learn how to, since dark types do have some psychic abilities along with the ghosts.

"Good. There are some things I wish to ask Saria without having to go through you as a translator."

I can accept that. I can only assume that you are filled with questions. More about who we are than where we might be going. It might not be the most extravagant place in the world. But This is the largest city within Sinnoh.

"So you have told me before."

At least you remembered what I had said. Much better than the last pokémon who came home with us. You can meet her if you so desire. But Saria gave her away to a friend because she was happy only having one pokémon.

"Then why did she want to become my 'master'?"

That she wouldn't tell me. I can only assume that because you once had a trainer before I found you, or, because she had spent much effort to keep you alive. If it weren't for Saria you wouldn't be alive right now. I'm surprised that your fur has returned to its natural colour. After we'd found you it was more red than anything else.

"I guess I was lucky. Once you teach me how to speak telepathically, I shall thank her personally. Even though I was quite content to go either way."

What? You wanted to die?

"I didn't wish for it to happen on my own accord, but I would've accepted it if the event came. There is much that I regret, and one wrong that I need to right. You can't just say that I wanted to kill myself without hearing my side of the story. But you won't hear that until I feel that either I am ready, or the time is right for such information to be revealed."

It must've been hard to live by yourself up in the mountains carrying such a thought.

"I had enough time to think about what I had done wrong, and how I might find a way to correct my mistake. And still, I don't know what I should do to bring back what I'd lost."

There's your problem then, you can't bring something back if it's gone. Once something is out of reach or beyond sight, there truly is no way to return things to the way they wer-

"Don't say that!" I barked back at the Espeon, forcing myself up to a standing position I stared through the various slits in the back of the box I was trapped inside. "You don't understand, and you never will. Being so narrow-minded will only get you as far as you want to see. Because I can see what I want, and I know that I will work tirelessly until I find out how I can right my wrongs, then everything would be as it should've." I lay back down in an effort to allow my hind legs to recover. So much for staying off my feet for a few days. "You can't tell me what I can and can't do. You don't understand."

I continued to stare at the following psychic, who'd lowered his head in thought over what I'd at least tried to avoid explaining to him. It took all of my effort to stand and stare at him while I didn't explain why I believed so. The only explanation as to why I believed that was because everything that I had grown to accept. That even though I was the one who caused Nion to leave the world, I still believed that I could bring a part of him back. That I could do something that would at least make it look like I was trying to do the right thing after my mistakes. I guess that was why I was here. That was why Syne had found me that night, it was why I was at least trying to talk to him in more way than starting a fight. It was the reason I was actually talking to anyone in the first place.

"Syne?" I asked quietly. Quickly feeling his eyes stare into the back of my skull. "You must not speak a word of this to Saria. You must not tell her anything of what we have just, and will eventually talk about. If I can learn how to speak telepathically, I shall tell her in my own time. But you mustn't speak of this to anyone, even those you told me we were to be living with."

_I will not speak a word Luyo. But I wish to ask one more question._I remained silent as we crossed the third and final intersection of what was the journey to my new home. Although after we'd crossed and had continued along the countless lines of buildings covering the sunlight from view of the street, leaving everything in the dark.

"What is it?" I asked Syne, getting slightly annoyed by his silence.

I'm sorry Luyo. I will wait until we arrive back home. I will ask you then. I continue to forget what you went through over yesterday.

"And you are forgetting how annoying it is to have something that seemed 'so important' just shrugged off like it was nothing, only to find out that you'll need to wait until later to find out about it?"

Actually, I do know what that's like. Like how I am doing it to you now, you are also doing it to me. There is much about you that lies in shadow. I don't know whether your intents on 'righting your wrongs' is either a waste of breath or truly what you have set out to do. I don't know if you are just making up the story of your previous life and you hadn't just killed your last trainer and 'friend'. There is much about you I wish to know, and I'm sure you feel the same way about me. But, for the moment, we're on the slightest bit of even ground as I finally have something that you want to know about. Maybe that's why you aren't wanting to know more about who we are and what is about to happen. Because you'll just take us out like you did to Draye and the Luxray!

That hurt. Syne's ignorance towards my position along with his ability to jump to conclusions had drawn up a terrible picture. Although he was right, that I was hiding much from him on account of the fact that I didn't want to get too close to anything too quickly in case I had another repeat of what had happened so long ago. But, how he had pulled that scenario so perfectly just off the top of his head. To be able to actually guess what had basically happened with my life in Jubilife city was even worse. But I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to react. If I was to explode at him it would only further his thoughts as to that guess being correct, and force myself into a corner I didn't want to fight out of to try and make good with Syne. But if I didn't react at all, it would make him think that such an event wouldn't phase me at all, only furthering his thought on me using that exact same scenario he'd created against him and Saria. I was stuck. I wanted to break open the box I was being carried in and hold the Espeon's throat to the ground with my blade. But, I couldn't do that. Not only did I lack the power at that point in time, but, I didn't want to know how Nion felt trying to win my friendship just so we could talk again. So, I did the only logical thing I could.

Luyo?

I remained silent. Still mulling over his words and what had really happened. Putting together the last few pieces of my reaction to what he'd mentioned. Even if I was fighting against my initial reaction at that moment, I still couldn't help myself. All I felt was sorrow, remorse, regret, and pain. The pain I felt when Nion had struck me with his lightning like electricity. The regret that flowed through me when I heard Draye shouting at me for all I'd done. The remorse I felt when I felt the tips of Nion's claws stroke the side of my face, as the nerves had been severed on my blade. And the sorrow of knowing that I'd taken a life, destroyed a family. Lost a friend.

I felt the tears of my sorrow dampen my fur. The one thing I had vowed against myself to do, was starting. It may have been a new family. But the old scars still ran deep.