Crossroads - Zack: Chapter 14
#17 of Crossroads (Zack)
Sits comfy in an armchair, sipping a martini. Ahh, the drama...
Zack learns an important lesson today, though where it comes from may be unexpected. I decided to try something new with this chapter; hopefully I did it well. As always, any and all feedback is appreciated!
This story is a companion of ragewolver's Crossroads. Don't forget to check out his chapter for Charlie's side of the story!
Zack found himself in a rather sour mood on Monday morning. Such a demeanor was not uncommon for Zack, but this morning he was feeling particularly dreary. He had been up very late finishing up a project he'd forgotten was due, and because of the coffee he had downed earlier, couldn't go back to sleep. So he had spent the next hour or so doing some sketches of his project for the art show before finally catching some sleep. This morning, he was running on about three hours of sleep. Wonderful.
Then Seth had been pissy at breakfast as usual before dashing out the door early again. And Tristan accidentally spilled his milk on Zack's homework, so hopefully the history teacher wouldn't mind the horrible smell coming off it.
Long story short: he was having a bad day.
Zack blearily lumbered down the hall to his locker where he haphazardly dumped his bag. He'd gotten here later than usual due to the events earlier in the morning, so thankfully Junior's locker further down was deserted. He really couldn't deal with that fox today.
"Zack, we need to ta - What's that smell?"
He looked over and blinked sleepily before his mind caught up, realizing that Charlie was standing there wrinkling his nose in disgust.
"Tristan spilled his milk on my stuff," Zack said offhandedly. He had to fight not to let his eyes droop too much while talking to his boyfriend. "Did you need something?"
Charlie recovered from the smell and became serious. "We need to talk."
"Can it wait until later?" Zack asked impatiently as he starting taking books out of his locker. "I'm really kinda tired -"
"Junior told me about what happened between you two."
SLAM. The mention of Junior awakened a previously dormant anger within the jackal. He slammed his locker shut and glared at the surprised wolf.
"And what did he say exactly?" Zack spat.
"He said you two had a date at a steakhouse. The one you said you didn't like," said Charlie, visibly trying to maintain his resolve. "And then when he started talking to a friend, you got jealous and _punched_him?"
Zack huffed. "That is not what happened. He went and invited that stupid buck to something we were supposed to do together. Just me and him. No one else."
"And so you punched him? Isn't that a bit extreme?" Charlie demanded. "Why not just talk to him?"
"We're beyond that," Zack replied. "And he won't listen. He's too much of a bitch."
Charlie gaped. "What does that even mean? You're the one who acted up before he wouldn't give you enough attention! It sounds to be like you were the bitch!"
Zack's eyes blazed with anger and he tensed, but didn't make a move. The wolf seemed to realize he had said too much and shut his muzzle. "What the fuck?" Zack seethed. "You're siding with him?"
"W-well, yeah," Charlie stammered. The wolf shook his head and glared right back at him with renewed determination. "He was talking to a friend, that's all! What's wrong with having friends?"
"Nothing! He -"
"He what, Zack? He did nothing wrong; you just overreacted!" Charlie accused. "How do I know this won't happen to us?"
Zack paused and stared in disbelief. "What? I'd never hurt you."
"You say that, but look at what happened with Junior," Charlie pointed out. "And remember how you blew up at Jamie? That was a stone's throw away from violence!"
"I would never -"
"You keep saying that, but if that's true, why is the school so afraid of you?" Charlie inquired. "It's like everyone expects you to lash at them or something. What did you do?"
Zack gulped. This was not where he had hoped this conversation would go. "Charlie -"
"Don't 'Charlie' me. Are you a bully?"
"I -"
"Or is this yet another thing you won't tell me?"
Zack opened his mouth to speak, then thought against it and remained silent. As much as he wanted Charlie to know the truth, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
Charlie scoffed. "Fine. You know what, forget it."
"Charlie, wait -" Zack reached out, but the wolf swiftly stepped back.
"No, leave me alone," said Charlie, shaking his head. "I need some space."
Zack paused. "What does that mean?"
"It means I need time for myself!" Charlie retorted exasperatedly. "If this is how you're going to be, then I don't want to be around you. Don't talk to me unless you're ready to tell me the truth."
"Charlie!" Zack exclaimed as the wolf walked away. He stared after him until he turned a corner and disappeared from sight.
...Did we just break up? Aside from shock, the thought brought forth his anger once more, a deep growl rumbling up from the jackal's throat. Even as the bell rang and his legs went on autopilot and took him to his first class, only one thought ran through his head.
I'm going to kill that fox.
....................................
Zack stalked into the cafeteria with fury in his eyes. He didn't even bother joining the lunch line as he had a completely different mission in mind. He quickly found the object of his agitation eating lunch with a few of his friends.
He stomped up behind Junior and cleared his throat. "We need to talk."
"Huh?" Junior broke from his conversation and looked up, sighing when he realized who it was. "Oh, it's you."
"Don't give me lip, fox," Zack growled, hackles rising. He reached forward to grab his shoulder. "You need to tell me -"
"Touch me and I'll report you," Junior said calmly, rising from his seat. "We can talk outside. I won't be long, guys," he added to his friends and went back toward the cafeteria entrance.
Zack followed him out, glowering the entire way. Junior turned back down the hall where no one from the cafeteria would see them and turned.
"So what do you want?" He asked with an air of sarcasm.
"You know exactly what," Zack responded hotly. He jabbed a finger at the fox's chest. "You told Charlie about our history! Why?"
"Because he has the right to know," said Junior. "Because it's the right thing to do. Why else?"
"Bullshit," Zack snapped. "You're still trying to get back at me, after all this time!"
"Okay, first of all," Junior cut in, holding up a finger. "It wasn't that long ago; it's only been like a year. Second, get over yourself. This isn't about you."
Zack scoffed. "Oh, it's not? Then who the fuck is it about, because there are only two of us here!"
Junior looked at him critically. "You know, one of these days that vein is actually going to pop out of your head."
"Shut up," said Zack, ignoring the reference. "Answer the damn question. Why did you lie to Charlie?"
"I didn't lie," Junior said defensively. "I told him exactly what happened. We were on a date, I started talking to a friend, and you decided to be a big baby about it. That's it."
"That is not what happened! There was more to it than that," Zack shot back. "And if anything, you're the one being a baby for trying to break me and Charlie up!"
"I'm trying to protect him," Junior countered. "You're dangerous and I'm just trying to save his from the hurt before it's too late. Just be glad I haven't told him what happened afterward."
At that last comment, Zack froze. Junior noticed this and regarded him inquisitively. "Hang on...were you ever going to tell him about that?"
Zack was at a loss for words. He had made sure the keep that particular incident a secret from Charlie. He knew the wolf wanted to know about it, but...he couldn't bear to think of what would happen once he did.
"Still keeping secrets I see," Junior said with a hint of surprise. "Fine. I guess I've got something else to tell Chance then."
Zack balked as the fox turned to leave. "Don't you dare!" He followed after him, the jackal's growl returning in full force. "That's not for you to tell! You'd better stay out of my shit, or -"
"Or what? What will you do exactly?" Junior stopped and glanced back. "I've told you once and I'll say it again: I'm not afraid of you anymore." With that, he continued on his way to the cafeteria.
"Why you -" Zack sped toward the fox, ready to grab his shoulder and spin him around, when a stern voice came from down the hall. "Mr. Bailey! What do you think you're doing?"
Zack looked back and saw Mr. Wagner standing there. He wore a stern glare he had never seen on the leopard. "I-I was -"
"Leave him alone and come here," the art teacher beckoned.
Zack reluctantly abandoned Junior and approached Wagner cautiously. He silently cursed the fox as he tried to find something to say. "Sorry, Mr. Wagner. I wasn't gonna hit him, I was just..."
Even as the jackal's voice trailed off, Wagner was having none of it. "Follow," he ordered, turning and walking back towards his classroom. Zack begrudgingly obeyed, his heart sinking lower as his stomach reminded him that he had yet to eat lunch.
Once they arrived, the classroom was tidy as always save for a paint splatter here and there. Wagner pulled a chair aside said, "Sit." Zack took a seat as the leopard went to the supply closet and started digging around. Meanwhile, the jackal looked on with anticipation. What was happening? Was he being put in detention? Was Wagner going to call his parents?
Wagner soon returned with an easel and canvas, which he deftly set up in front of the jackal. He retrieved some painting tools and set them on the table beside him.
"Paint."
Zack blinked and looked up in confusion. "What?"
"Painting relaxes your mind. You are stressed, no?" Wagner remarked. "So paint."
The jackal started at the blank canvas and once again expressed his bewilderment. "I don't understand."
"You are angry. And it is keeping you from resolving your petty conflict with that fox," Wagner replied, his accent still prominent as ever. "You need to learn to let go. Let yourself drift away and just paint."
"Paint what?"
"Anything that comes to mind."
Zack looked at the clock. "But there's only fifteen minutes left for lunch!"
"Then make it quick," Wagner said simply. He sat down at his desk and resumed eating his own lunch. "Remember, let your feelings guide your brush. All emotion; no boundaries."
Zack gingerly took the brush in his paw and pondered what he might paint. After some consideration he decided that a simple outline would do for now. As his paw traced a rough profile onto the canvas and his began to slide into an artistic mindset, his mind was cast away to memory lane...
"Alex..."
_ "What do you want, Zack?" The fox turned away from his locker angrily. "Come to gloat?"_
_ "Why would I gloat?" Zack stood there with his paws in his pockets, closer to the lockers so as not to impede the stream of students walking past. "I've come to apologize."_
_ Junior scoffed. "Save it," he said, turning back. "I've heard enough from you."_
_ "No you haven't, because you still don't understand," Zack insisted. "I didn't mean to punch you -"_
_ "Doesn't matter. You did anyway," said Junior. "None of it would have happened if you hadn't been a jealous prick. That simple."_
_ "I'm not jealous!" Zack exclaimed and then lowered his voice down. "I'm not jealous..."_
_ "See? You can't even convince yourself," Junior retorted. "Just go away, Zack."_
_ "Please?" Zack pressed, sounding almost desperate. "I just want to give this another chance."_
_ "You're begging? Really? That's pathetic," Junior sneered. "I won't say it again. Go away."_
_ As the fox made to leave, Zack stepped in front of him. "I'm not leaving until we sort this out."_
_ Junior glared at him. "What makes you think you can tell me what to do?"_
_ "I'm not trying to -"_
_ "Maybe you don't get enough attention at home, but that doesn't give you the right to be a possessive asshole."_
_ Now it was Zack's turn to glare. "I'm not possessive!"_
_ "You wouldn't even let me talk to a friend without getting pissy," Junior pointed out. "That sounds like possessive to me."_
_ "I'm not!"_
_ "Whatever," Junior said. "Just stop being a big baby and maybe we can be acquaintances."_
_ "You don't get to decide who's being a baby," Zack growled. "You're not my mother."_
_ "No, your mother is off doing her own thing," countered Junior. "And so is your dad. Maybe if they were around to keep you in check, it wouldn't be a problem."_
_ "Keep me in check?!" Zack's paws curled into fists. "Don't you say a word against my parents!"_
_ "They don't give you enough attention and that's why you're such a -"_
_ POW!_
_ _ Zack's paw raced across the canvas in a swirl of crimson and black.
Junior staggered back and rubbed his muzzle where the blow had hit. Zack glared at him. "That was on purpose."
_ The fox glared back. "Fuck y -"_
_ POW!_
_ _ Another stroke of red.
POW!
_ _ Another stroke.
POW! POW!
_ _ Another - damn it, out of red. Blue, black, purple.
POW!
_ _ More purple...
POW! POW!
_ _ Blackout.
...........................
Mr. and Mrs. Bailey,
_ This morning, an incident occurred involving your son Zackary Bailey and another student in the junior year, Alexander Norton. After a heated argument, Zackary reacted violently and was found to have physically beaten Alexander, resulting in mild to moderate bruising. As Zackary has no record of violent tendencies, he will be suspended from Briarwood for one month (he may resume attendance on November 18). However, this statement stands only if he seeks therapy or another form of help. If he fails to find an adequate recovery method, he will be expelled from the school. Please reply to this email or call the counseling office to discuss further details._
.........................................
"Hey, Pa?"
_ "Yes, Zack?"_
_ "I've been thinking and...I want to stop going to therapy."_
_ "We've told you Zack, you can't do that. You won't get better if you stop."_
_ "But it's not helping! I just come back angry every time."_
_ "Then you need to try harder."_
_ "I am trying...please?"_
_ "How about painting?"_
_ "Painting is the only thing that works. I can kind of just forget everything when I'm painting, but therapy just reminds me of why I was so mad. It's not going to work."_
_ "You need to give it time, Zack."_
_ "I've been at it for months. Nothing has changed._ Nothing."
*Sigh* "Tell you what. Keep going until the end of the month. We'll talk about it with your mother. But Zack, I want you to really try, understand me?"
_ "Yes, sir."_
......................................
Zack blinked back into focus and flinched at what he saw on the canvas. A beaten and bruised fox stared back at him, a single tear streaked down one cheek. The image terrified him. And for the first time, he felt an intense guilt that left him speechless. This was his fault. He had caused this.
"Alex...Junior. I'm sorry..."
_ _ Wagner noticed he had finished and came over to examine the jackal's work. He didn't seem bothered by the portrait at all; rather, he looked satisfied if nothing else.
"Good work, Zackary," said the leopard. "Now at the end of the day, I want you to take this home...and get rid of it. Throw it away."
Now Zack was even more confused. "Why? Isn't that a waste of materials?"
"A very small one," Wagner said dismissively. "But it is worth it. I knew you would paint something along these lines and wanted you to physically see the pain you are causing that poor fox. And to yourself. I want you to finally let go."
Zack glanced up at Wagner as if seeing him in a new light. "Let go?"
"Let go. No more anger. Just look at what it has caused," the art teacher replied, gesturing toward the painting. "It is time to face your own faults and make amends. So I want you to take this home. Study it, think hard about what it means and why you created it, and then throw it away. Let go, finally put these destructive feelings to rest."
Zack now understood why he was here. He had always been able to connect to his own art in a different way than he did the real world. Wagner had pulled him away from the drama and had him recreate the conflict in painting, a world in which Zack seemed able to see most clearly. And the truth hurt. But he felt better knowing it.
"Thanks," he muttered.
"Anytime, Zackary," said Wagner, his tone returning to its usual friendly timbre. "I will keep this in the back to dry. You can come pick it up at the end of the day."
"Okay," replied Zack. Just as he stood, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. He briefly regretted having not eaten, but wasn't too bothered by it. "I'm gonna go. My next class is on the other end of the building."
"See you later," Wagner responded. "And don't forget, I do expect to see your contribution to the art show coming up soon. I'm sure it will be quite spectacular as always."
Zack nodded as he left the room, feeling oddly refreshed by the experience.
.......................
After the final bell rang, Zack did just as Wagner said. He came over to pick up his painting and continued to his car as quickly as he could, careful not to let anyone see the painting itself. When he got home, he looked at it some more, feeling more pain, feeling Junior's pain. Junior was right; it was he who had been unfair, he who had overreacted. There was still some anger there, but for now the jackal was overcome with sadness and despair. It was his fault he had lost Junior. And now he was about to lose Charlie as well.
Once the horrible image of Junior had been burned into his mind, Zack took the painting outside and put it into a large trash bin, burying it under some other items to hide it. 'Letting go' didn't feel as good as he had hoped. Instead of a smoldering anger buried deep inside, he fell into a depression that haunted him throughout the week. During lunch, he would gaze longingly at Charlie's table as the wolf talked with his new friends. He even lost the motivation to work out each day, opting instead to finish his homework, eat dinner with little conversation, and then lie silently in bed until his tired eyes forced him to sleep. He skipped art club on Wednesday and his painting tools remained completely untouched.
It wasn't until Friday that he finally mustered the courage to approach Charlie once again. Gym had just ended and the rest of the kids were changing in the locker room. As he entered, Zack could see Charlie's lanky frame amidst the others.
"Charlie?"
The wolf turned around looking surprised, having just gotten his shirt off. He sighed. "Hi."
Zack gulped nervously. "Can we talk?"
"I'd rather get to lunch..."
"Then I'll make this quick," Zack replied hastily. He wanted to get this out before he lost his nerve. "I just want to talk about what happened. What was said."
Charlie sighed again and his response regained that air of skepticism from before. "Alright. Are you going to tell me that Junior was lying?"
"No," said Zack. "I admit I did get angry and I did lose control. And I admit that I did hit him and..." And then some... "I'm not saying that I was right for it. But I just..."
"Just what?" Charlie looked disappointed when Zack hesitated.
Just say it. "I'm sorry for what I did and I've tried to apologize to Junior, to make things right, but he just won't listen to me." Zack watched the wolf pleadingly. "Charlie, I know I have some anger issues, but I'm doing my best to work on it."
Charlie still didn't look convinced. "How do I know you won't suddenly turn on me?"
"I promise I won't!" The words came out louder than intended and drew some stares from the other students. Zack ignored them and continued. "Listen, just give me one more chance?" Please...
_ _ "Well I..." Charlie said slowly. The pause was agonizing before he said, "You're still coming over for dinner tonight, right?"
Zack nearly gasped out loud. The dinner party! He had completely forgotten that was tonight! "Yeah, my parents are really looking forward to it," Zack said, unable to control the jovial smile spreading across his muzzle. "Tristan's been excited to see you again." And so am I!
_ _ Charlie grinned back. "Okay, then I guess I'll see you tonight. And we'll go from there."
Zack couldn't stop himself. He eagerly pulled the wolf into a hug and squeezed him tight. Charlie yelped in surprise, but the jackal held on as the wolf settled into the hug. Zack grinned even wider and wagged his tail.
"What about your reputation?"
Zack frowned at the question, wondering what Charlie meant, before he saw the other students in the locker room still staring at them. He cleared his throat and they turned away. They didn't leave like they did normally, however, causing him some confusion.
"They're still scared of you," Charlie observed.
"Sorry," Zack muttered. Why didn't they leave? Remembering the bell would ring any minute now, he said, "I gotta go change, but I'll see you tonight?"
Charlie smiled. "Yeah. Looking forward to it."
Zack grinned and went to his locker. Just one painting, and already things were looking brighter.