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Meanwhile at the Castle of Dr. Callyco

"AHHHHHHH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!" Dr. Callyco erupted from underneath a small mountain of candy. The kitten in a lab coat greedily ripped rappers off the treats before shoving handfuls into his mouth at a time. "I absolutely love this time of year. Just, it's the time you can really just gorge yourself on your favorite treats."

"Oh yes." Dr. Cutie Pup rolled his eyes. Though despite the judging tone he was taking, the wolf pup was working his way through his own mountain of candy. "Because you're the epitome of restraint when it comes to consuming sweets throughout the rest of the year."

"Hey I'm the most restrained restrainer to ever restrain anything!" Dr. Callyco huffed.

"What does that even mean!?" Dr. Cutie Pup flailed his arms.

"It means that I know my limits and when the cut offs for certain types of behavior are!" Dr. Callyco smiled. "A lesson that sometimes can be a bit tough for some people to learn... Especially when it comes to growing up. And with that, why don't you introduce tonight's special guest."

"I swear your segues into these get more nonsensical each year." The wolf pup shrugged. "Anyway tonight's guest is Kickaha Ota. The foxyote in a green cloak who was in an earlier tale... But well... Did he really learn his lesson?"

"I feel like there was some kind of lesson learned!" Dr. Callyco smiled. "And I can assure you someone learned it!"

"Was there? Was there really?" Dr. Cutie Pup fixed the kitten with a blank expression.

"Um well the thing about that is!" Dr. Callyco smiled... And then turned away from the pup. "Was that it's time to get tonight's tale started! After a night of successful tricks Kickaha is in the mood for some treats! But when the treats are meant for someone else and you try to take them anyway... Well bad things can happen! So... We present our tenth tale. The Tale of the Great Treats Heist."

Thirteen Karmic Tales

Tenth Tale

The Tale of the Great Treats Heist

Kickaha had thought he was done for the evening. This Halloween had been a good one, and the orange and brown foxyote had gotten his fair share of tricks in. Even been subject to a few tricks himself. But now he was back to normal, had his green cloak drawn around him and was ready to head home for the night. At least he had been. But then he overheard a couple of kids talking. And the words they had spoken changed everything.

"Can you believe they were giving mice out at that house?"

Kickaha assumed he must have misheard this at first. There was one simple truth about this world. Well... That wasn't entirely true. There were many simple truths about this world. There were also many complex truths. And then many things that didn't fold neatly into the categories of true or false. However, there was one simple truth that did apply to this situation.

Humans didn't have any sense.

That made what he had overheard perplexing. A mouse would be a welcome nutritious and delicious treat to give out for Halloween. Most humans just cave out candy! Which sure, it was good! But that wasn't something he could live off of! If there was a house that was giving actual worthwhile treats out then Kickaha had to investigate it.

He turned his view towards the house the kids had just come from. It was a small unassuming house at the back of a cul-de-sac. Nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. It didn't look like it belonged to the type of person who'd be smart enough to do something like this... But sometimes looks could be deceiving. Heck, he had taken advantage of that at least seven times tonight himself. With that in mind he strode towards the house... And then paused again as he overheard more kids who were leaving it.

"These mice are amazing! I can't believe she let me take two!" A boy in a werewolf mask spoke.

"H-hey! You can't eat both!" A girl in yeti mask responded. "You told her you only needed that second one for your little brother!"

"But I don't have a younger brother."

"Then split that with me! I only got to eat one that's not fair!"

It just got stranger and stranger. Since when did humans like mice? They weren't that smart! He specifically relied on them not being that smart for his career choices to work! Had he stumbled into some kind of mirror world of sensibility? He couldn't do sensible! It would be the end of him!

He would worry about that later. For now, he needed to go secure his rodent shaped treats.

As Kickaha reached the front porch of the house he couldn't help but be taken aback by just how normal the place looked. It wasn't just a plain looking normal house. It was the exact house that first comes to mind when someone thinks of a house. Two car garage, a small front patio, oak tree in the yard and a white picket fence. In fact... It felt too mundane. It was clearly a trick.

The way Kickaha saw it. There were only two possibilities. Either this normalcy was a façade meant to make people lower their guard... Or this was the house of the most boring person in the world. Considering they were apparently giving out nutritious rodent snacks the latter was impossible. That meant there was clearly some kind of trick going on here. And with that knowledge well... The foxyote was obligated to press onward! After all. There was such a thing as professional courtesy.

As Kickaha prepared to ring the doorbell he noticed the first signs of things not being normal. There was a piece of paper taped to the door.

'No one can come to the door right now. If you want candy you'll have to head around back through the spooky maze to claim your prize. Remember, the spooky maze is only open to children aged 12 and under.'

"Now that's just asking to get egged by teenager." Kickaha shook his head as he read the note. He then looked around the back. He then looked away from the door. The gate to the white picket fence was open and there was a gravel path lit by jack-o-lanterns heading into the backyard.

Kickaha ignored the warning about age limits on the door and followed the path. He wasn't too concerned. Most humans had a hard time realizing what age he actually was. A lot of them weren't able to judge an animal's age other than by its size... And since Kickaha was only three feet tall he had been mistaken for a child more than once in his lifetime.

As Kickaha followed the gravel path he noted that it got noticeably darker. Once the street lamps were out of sight there was only the flames from the pumpkins to light the way. The side yard was decorated with Styrofoam tombstones, cotton spider webs and plastic bones. Kickaha had to admit... That thanks to the darkness they were almost scary enough to frighten a child. Almost.

As for himself, he strode confidently onward. He was on a quest and he didn't have time to admire the decorations... Even if it was tempting. Especially since he was coming up towards a tunnel. It was a giant archway made out of cardboard. A huge inflatable dragon with red glowing eyes was perched on top of it. Then there were multiple fog machines set up inside. It made it impossible to see what waited on the other side.

Again, Kickaha was almost impressed. Almost.

He continued through the tunnel. The mist inside of it was overbearing. He almost found it difficult to breathe it was so thick. Clearly someone had lost an argument as what constituted too many fog machines. He had to close his eyes to protect them from being stung as he walked forward. It wasn't as if he could see more than an inch in front of him in the first place.

Finally he emerged from the cardboard tunnel and into fresh air. He gave a sigh of relief only to stop as he realized something was wrong. His green cloak was a lot looser on him than it had been a few moments ago, in fact the very tip of it now touched the ground. At the same time he felt... Strangely energetic.

Kickaha blinked his eyes to clear what remained of the mist from it and looked around. The entire backyard was noticeably larger than it should have been. He looked down at his own body and saw why immediately. His proportions were off to say the least. There was less developed muscle, and instead more round proportions. He was looking at baby fat. He had come out of the tunnel a lot younger than he had gone in! In fact... he couldn't be older than five or six now!

"Now hang on just one second." Kickaha crossed his arms. "That's the trick you're going with?"

"Don't you mean to say trick or treat?" A female voice called out. Kickaha looked to the source. There sitting in a perfectly normal patio chair was a perfectly normal middle aged woman wearing a perfectly normal store bought cat costume. She looked like the picture you would see if you specifically searched soccer mom on the internet.

"Oh nothing like that! Just admiring the trick!" Kickaha said. "But I think we'd have some stylistic differences as it seems a bit nonsensical... Which can be a good thing! But you get what I mean."

"I'm not sure I do." The probably soccer mom laughed.

"Oh come on, the whole age thing and me being a kid?" Kickaha walked up to her. "It's kind of obvious you know." He had known something was going to be up! And yet he walked into it anyway... But that didn't change the fact he had seen it coming!

"What do you mean?" The soccer mom asked. "You look like a perfectly normal child who's a perfectly normal age for a perfectly normal night of trick or treating."

"Ohhhh. I see what you did there." Kickaha responded. Now he understood the logic behind this specific trick. "Three out of five. Needs more bamf."

"You sure do say a lot of silly things." The soccer mom ruffled Kickaha's head fur affectionately. "Ah the imagination of a child... But I'm sure you want to focus less on that and more on the treat you came here for."

"Now see here!" Kickaha began as he held up a finger and then he paused. "Um well actually..." He had a very difficult choice to make. On one hand he had plenty of quips he wanted to work through because there was fun to be had in messing with other tricksters. On the other hand... This person was giving out delicious rodent treats! And irking them too much would result in him not getting a treat.

"Is something wrong?" The soccer mom asked.

"Uggggh." Kickaha considered... And then just reminded himself over and over again in his head: 'Delicious rodents.' He made his decision. Sometimes you had to make sacrifices in the name of the greater god! And a fuller stomach. "Nothing... Nothing at all. What I meant to say was trick or treat!"

"Such a nice lad." She patted him on the head again. Then she reached behind her and grabbed a small plastic bag and handed it to you. "Make sure you don't let him get away."

"Oh trust me! That won't be an issue." Kickaha smiled. He knew he had made the right choice here. Then with the energy of youth he skedaddled from the backyard. That's a moment that's a lot like running, but one that children are just infinitely more skilled at than adults. He didn't stop skedaddling until he made his way back to the street in front of the house.

Now came the moment of truth. What everything was here for. He opened the plastic bag and looked inside for his rodent treat.

And was shocked to find chocolate instead. It was technically a mouse... But not a real one. It was made from a chocolate covered cherry, using the stem for a tail and then two small pecans for ears. Tiny sprinkles were used for eyes and chocolate shavings for whiskers.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kickaha dropped to his knees as he realized he had been tricked. He had been expecting a normal nutritious rodent! And all he got was this chocolate candy! How could someone do something this cruel!

Simply wanting the thing out of his sight. Kickaha tossed the entire mouse into his mouth and chomped it down. He then paused.

"Oh... Actually that's quite good." He smiled. "Maybe I should find out the recipe. It'd make a good dessert!" He smiled to himself happy to have gotten such a delicious treat and was now heading back home. Tomorrow was another day and there'd be work to be done! Or... Would he have to go back to school now? Then again... His line of work could be quite fun in a building full of teachers and students. Ah. The possibilities.

The End