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Chapter One - Kyle's Big Break

La Fiesta, February 13

"Fuck."

I really didn't want to wait any longer than I had to, not just for me, though, but also for Rachael. After all, it would be unfair to leave her hanging with false hope, but I knew I also ran the risk of being "That Guy;" the guy who dumps someone on Valentine's Day. I ran my fingers through my mane and let out a chuff. I looked at my friends and debated to myself saying,

"Okay, so I think I should maybe wait a day or so. I can't do it tomorrow, right? That'd just be cruel.."

I stopped briefly, checking to see if I had their approval. John wavered his head as in to say something like, _ehh... _and Isabel just shrugged. Good enough for me. I sent back a few counter-argumentative messages, with very good points I might add, to which Rachael quickly realized her error. I warned her that an end might be in sight if I kept having to do these fights with her, a warning I had given her several times before, but this time she must've understood I really meant it, because she began to beg for forgiveness. I didn't want apologies, and I didn't think it should have taken threats to make her see. Bottom line was, it was too late. I wanted my freedom. I was willing to wait for it for a while longer, but I knew it had to be done. My friends supported my decision. It was finally going to happen - I was getting my wings back.

Once our meals came, mine being free as "payment" for driving Isabel home (I never asked for/required it, it was just something sweet her family did for me), we ate and proceeded out of the restaurant. My poor, somewhat beaten-up, aqua blue truck sat in the parking lot outside, and we all filed into our respective seats: John on the right, Isabel in the center, and I drove. I drove downtown, past all the nice little shops and the picturesque plaza, and to Isabel's house. She hopped out of the truck, told us that she loved us, to which we happily reciprocated, and walked inside. Joan let out a sigh/groan as I started to pull back onto the street, and looked at me with a begging look. I laughed and asked,

"You okay?"

"I don't wanna go home.."

"What would you rather do, then?"

He paused, slumped a bit in his seat, then perked up saying,

"Can I come over?"

I let out a breath through my nose, thinking about how my mom doesn't really like surprise guests, but decided,

"Sure, but only for a bit," and he conceded.

---

Kyle's House, Later that Evening

As soon as we stepped into the house, we saw my mom seated at the dining room table in pajamas swiping through her phone. She looked up with a surprised look, like a deer in headlights (fitting, as she is a deer), and said,

"Oh, hi, John. Hello, son"

The glare she shot to me read Boy, I told you.

I answered with a pleading look that said, I know, I know..

I went into my room with John, where he instantly plopped himself onto my bed and pulled his guitar out of his sticker-adorned case (he carries that thing around him everywhere). He played a quick flamenco-style tune, looking at me with a dumb across-the-room stare. I rolled my eyes and laughed slightly at his foolery. I thought to myself for a moment, and instructed him saying,

"Chill here for a second, I'm gonna talk to my mom"

He replied with a semi-sarcastic salute, and nearly right on cue, my littlest brothers (one 7, the other 4, both deers) came running in to greet my guest. He offered to play them a song and I went out to seek my mother's guidance. I explained what all went down and why I had made my decision.

"I get it, Son, I do, but you guys have been together for two years, are you sure?" she asked, concerned.

"I th--" I was cut off by John's singing and strumming

"Trouble on my left, Trouble on my Right,

I've been facin' Trouble almost all my life--"

I muffled my chuckle with a light chuff, shook my head, and continued,

"I honestly think this is the right thing to do. I know I should wait a while because of tomorrow or whatever"

"Tomorrow?" she asked, with a head tilt before continuing, "Eh, tomorrow's just another day. I'd say it would be more wrong to keep her waiting, wouldn't you?"

She had a point, but I was still on the fence. I decided to just do whatever came most naturally. We talked a little more about other things before I went to check on John. We spent hours together hanging out, occasionally singing, we thought about doing our homework, but that's about as far as that went, and he ended up spending the night, shlumped on the floor beside my bed.

---

February 14 - Valentine's Day

The next day, I woke up in a surprisingly good mood, like a weight had already been lifted off my shoulders. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, killed the alarm, and shook poor John, who was lying there starfished across the ground, saying in my kindest voice,

"Hey, Loser, get up, we're gonna be late for school," to which he cheerfully responded with something like,

"Mm-huh? Hurgusflrgl.."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too."

We quickly roused ourselves, got ready, I threw him an old band t-shirt (I had to let him borrow some clothes), and left. The best part of living where I do, is getting to see the ocean, even if just for a few seconds, on the way to school. When we parked, he stopped me from getting out and dug through his bag for a moment.

"Wh--"

"Hold on, I have something for you."

He pulled out a little bouquet of candy hearts, my favorite too, the sweet glass-like kind (I don't know what the proper term is), and said,

"These are for you, happy Valentine's Day!"

I looked at him inquisitively and responded,

"You're lying."

"Nope."

"Liar."

He shook his head, confident. I still hesitated a bit, expecting it to be a joke, as this sort of thing wasn't really his thing, but hugged him when I realized he was actually being serious.

"Aw, thank you, that's actually really nice" I said.

He smacked his lips and waved his arm,

"Meh, it's nothing."

It definitely wasn't nothing to me though, it quite honestly made my day. I spent most of my day off in my head thinking of things both sour and sweet, and after a couple of periods I went off campus to go get my ashes (it was Ash Wednesday. I'm not really religious, it was more a sentimental thing.) After the congregation was released, I decided to pay a trip to my great-grandmother's grave since I had time. She had only passed a few months before, and I was still grieving a bit. I won't lie, I shed a couple tears, and as a little token of love, left one of my candies on her stone that read,

Beatrice "Bea" Hale

1933-2017

A Little Woman With A Big Life

I always liked that line, it seemed fitting.

Back at school, my mind stayed in the clouds as I debated myself to death over my next conversation with Rachael. I decided I was going to wait until I absolutely needed to. Sadly, even after the last bell had rung, I knew the stress wasn't over yet. I dropped Isabel off, as usual, and made my way back home. The good news was that I didn't have to wait as long as I had expected to break it off. I got a text saying,

"I know you want to talk, can I ask what it's about? Is it about our fight?"

My heart sank, but I did what I had to,

"Not necessarily completely about that, but it's not going to be fun. You may want to wait."

"I'd rather just get it over with tonight and try to work it out."

"Okay, but I strongly advise to wait."

But we didn't wait, she wanted to dig right into it and try to fix things, but it was too late. My mind was just about made. That evening, her and I sat in her car and I told her my decision. I knew the person sitting next to me was very important. I loved this girl for two years, she was my first love, the person I lost my V-card to, she was special, I knew that. Every word, every tear she cried, was agony to me, but I had to stay firm. Among all the sweetness together, there was just too much pain. Of all the things I had to sacrifice, all the things I had to change for her, I knew that she could, or would, never do the same for me. I made things as easy as I could, but I knew I hurt her badly.

"Is--Is this really what you want?" she sobbed.

"I'm sorry, but it's what I need."

I let her attempt to collect herself, and let her leave me standing there in my driveway. I had my freedom, but what was I going to do with it now?