FSE

Furry search engine

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Frantic, Tick, Tick, Tick Tock

"Where were you?" A short canine said. Frantic, tick, tick, tick, tick tock "You were meant to see me one more time!" A German Shepherd yelled Frantic, Tick Tick, Tick, Tick Tock "You Fucking left me to die!" A blue fox cried Frantic, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick "where are you?" a elderly Dog, mysteriously Tock BOOM!

"AH!" I shouted, Fly up from where i laid. Drenched in sweat, and my heart beating faster, and harder, then ever before."Fuh~... God make it STOP!" I shouted, loudly.

"Storm... Hun, are you okay?" Hayden said, tiredly. His back was to me, and by his shirt, it was obvious my nightmare scared me....

"Its getting worse." I shivered out under my breath, clenching my paws on both sides of my head, as if trying to rip my skull apart. By the ice blue LED light on our clock, i could see it was 4:30AM again. For the past year, around this time, every night, i end up waking up, screaming, sweat soaked, and heart racing.

"Babe" Hayden said, rolling around to give my waist a hug. "You lost Twenty-Three family members last year." He said, trying to calm me down.

"I could have help my dad..." I said angrily, as i got up from our bed, causing my husky to whimper softly. I knew seeing me like this always hurt Hayden, and i would be damned if i made him cry over my mental state. "Im sorry, Hun.." I said giving him a soft kiss on the lips. "Im gonna go~" I sighed softly "Cool down, outside."

"Alright... ill be here." Hayden said, cuddling up to my pillow.

Hayden was always a cute sleeper, no matter where we were, Who we were with, or what was going on.. He would honestly almost bring me peace and tranquility by how peaceful, and gently he really was. But, that lingering in my mind, the faces of the ones i have lost, spiraled out of control this time. My blood was pump as if i just ran a mile in a second, and for the first time in years, i was scared. Walking outside of our dorm, being very careful to quietly shut the door, i would turn right, and make my way to the main lobby of the dorm, Which lucky for us, was just a few paces. Stepping into the large space, where normally at least 50 furs would be: Nothing.. Total, and complete, Silence. "As below, so above and beyond, I imagine drawn beyond the lines of reason. Push the envelope. Watch it bend."

"Lord, Please take these demons away from my mind. Let me move on with my life.. God i can't sleep, i dont eat.. My fur is falling out, and my mind is just racing!" *I said out loud, my hand folded in the traditional Christian practice of praying. "Please, take it away." I said, before resting my muzzle on my intertwined paws, a tear running down my cheek.

"Black then white are all I see In my infancy. Red and yellow then came to be, Reaching out to me. Lets me see" "Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line. Reaching out to embrace the random. Reaching out to embrace whatever may come." I heard, softly, almost a whisper in my ear.

"Who's There?!" I barked, Jolting up. My fur was matted, clumps standing up on end, obviously from tossing and turning in my sleep

"I embrace my desire to" It said, getting closer. "I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected"

"Okay dude, who ever you are, stop, please." I begged

"Enough to step aside and weep like a widow"

I got angry; "STOP!" I growled, my claws UN-sheathing themselves.

"To feel inspired, to fathom the power, To witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, To swing on the spiral, to swing on the spiral,"

"Last Chance!" I yelled, pin pointing the source of the harmony.

"SPIRAL OUT"

And it all went black. All i could hear was a soft drum pattern.. Dun-nun-nun-nun Dun-nun-nun-nun. It slowly faded into a heart beat, A sad, lonely, cold heart beat. To weak to be heard with out silence, but to loud to be drawn out by silence.

"Jeremy?" I heard a low voice say to me. Turning around, i recognized the canine speaking.

"Dad?" I asked, confused.

"Hey, Ah-ooh." he smiled.

"DAD!" I barked happily, running to him, giving him a warm hug, his body warm, his eyes gleaming with life. "Dad, i miss you!" I said, crying like a baby into his neck fur.

"Iv missed you, too, son.. You know i have been watching you for a while." He smiled lifting my chin up, kissing my forehead. "My god, i am so proud of you." His eyes filled with tears as they twinkled with pride, and astonishment. "My son, now i grown man, A husband. And a musician?!" *He hugged me tightly to his chest. His scent, his cologne. exactly how i remembered him.

"Dad i love you so much!" I couldnt say anything, i couldnt think, hardly could breath...

"Son, please, please, dont think you could have done anything to save me. You know cancer was through out my body. No matter what you think you could have done, i was going to leaving you behind. And that hurt." He sniffled a little. "I wasnt gonna see your first show, See you walk down the isle, with what i thought would be a cute girl, but you found your self a nice guy." he chuckled. "I guess i cant be to ashamed of that, now can i?" He looked down at me, smiling.

"But, i never got to say goodbye." i said, still clinging to the older German Shepherd.

"Son, with this life, i will never, ever, be away from you. Where you go, i will be." he gleamed "And that song you wrote for me. Kiddo i love it!" He kissed my forehead again. "Never: NEVER, Give up the Rhythm that is in you. It connects you to everyone you have lost. And they all do say hello and they love you.. I was the only one allowed to come down and talk to you tho.. But always remember, you are connected with me, your mother, River, Jessy, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Glen, all of the... They will always be with you, no matter where you go, who you are with, or what you're doing.. Over-Thinking, Over0analyzing separates the body from the mind."

That voice...

"Withering my intuition, leaving opportunities behind"

"DAD?!" i yelled as he started to fade away

"Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line."

"Dad please dont go, i cried as he sang out loudly to me

"Reaching out to embrace the random. Reaching out to embrace whatever may come."

SPIRAL OUT, KEEP GOING

Dun-nun-nun-nun. Dun-nun-nun-nun.

"Jeremy?" I heard Hayden say softly. "Jeremy, Wake up babe." I felt a nudge on my shoulder.

"I got an idea" Till said, grabbing my ipod, and changing the artist from Tool, to Rammstein. "This'll wake the fucker up." he smirked, Blasting Ich Will into my ears.

"AH!" I Barked, yanking the ear buds out of my ears, noticing all the furs stopping, just to stare at me.

"Dont worry, just woke him up in a bad way!" Till blurted out, causing the rest of the furs to go back to their normal routine. "Morning Shepperoo, sleep well?" Till asked chuckling.

"Eh." I motioned to my sweat soaked shirt.

"Looks like Hayden will have a new shirt to jack off with." The fellow shepherd laughed, causing Hayden to blush a bit.

"Okay, i do not sniff my boyfriends sweaty shirts!" Hayden exclaimed!

Sure you dont!" Till poked fun at the husky.

During their bickering back and forth, i stood up, holding both of their muzzles closed. "Hes right, Till... He steals my Briefs instead.

Silence fell over us three as i let their muzzles go.

"Shut up.." Hayden said blushing like a tomato.

"You want a pair of mine, stud?" Till laughed. Causing my husky to blush even more, making me join in on the laughter.

"Hey, he can only sniff my balls! Not yours!" I smirked, Kissing my huskies cheek.

"Im gonna kill both of you.. I hope you know that." Hayden said with a soft chuckle, before giving me a soft kiss on the lips.

And like that, the past chapters of this life i live, will for ever be re-written