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Who Writes This?!

Chapter 1: Curiosity

Bubbling with energy, the grey rabbit doe accepted her ice cold, blue-hued beverage with both small hands, careful not to let the wind catch the petite umbrella that adorned it. There was slush at the top of the drink that kept it from moving a whole lot as she walked purposefully back to her table with it. The patio bar situated in Savanna Central's popular Hill Street Dining venue of the beautiful city of Zootopia was a favorite wind-down spot for the bunny cop and her vulpine partner. Judy had been rather enjoying her partnership with Nick after working out a few of the kinks, particularly where defining the cut-off point for his natural relaxed playfulness was concerned. After a good six months they had a comfortable understanding of one another's expectations and were pretty securely adjusted to one another as friends and coworkers. Judy took a sip of her beverage and sighed at her companion.

"I don't know Nick, it just feels like the day is too short when we do these things." Judy stated insistently. She took another sip of her drink. It was non-alcoholic, so the icy temperature of it was all that moderated her enjoyment of it.

"Our paychecks are the same regardless, and I think we actually got through to some of those kids. They asked way more questions than usual." The russet-furred canid offered cheerfully. He rested his chin on his palm casually as he inspected his empty mug with a relaxed, thoughtful expression, ears back. His beer certainly was alcoholic so, upon draining it, he seemed to be pondering getting another as Judy watched him in frustration. Of course Nick liked public outreach assignments, they were easy and almost never went past five, and there was usually never any kind of paperwork associated with it. He worked so hard when he worked, but dear blighted potatoes he could sure be lazy when he felt the occasion called for it. Judy sipped her sweet virgin blueberry frozen daiquiri. She had ordered it once before to embarrass Nick in front of Finnick, but found it to be genuinely delicious and made it a go to for an after work treat.

The bunny regarded Nick a moment as he pushed his mug away, seeming to opt to stay at one beer. He usually didn't even have the one, but they were both off duty and out of uniform since they were on what Judy called fluff assignment. Nick wore a rather form-fitting black t-shirt and jeans with his badge clipped to his belt, and Judy was clad in Navy button up shirt tucked in with matching slacks. Her badge adorned a position matching Nick's. The assignment had been talking with students at Gus Dromedary Middle School about safety and security in their homes and while out and about, emergency numbers, who to contact, all that sort of thing. Nick never seemed to mind it, but Judy felt that the school's resource officers were far better utilized for that, and the efforts of her and her partner would be better employed toward actually confronting the criminal element. Judy swirled the contents of her melting drink around in the glass and looked up at her partner beside her at the long patio table.

"I appreciate the simplicity of the work, Nick, I really do, but I just feel like we are being pulled out of the real fight and we could make a way bigger difference patrolling or investigating. You can't deny it feels like we spend more time doing this stuff than real police work." She stated. Nick ran his finger slowly around the heavy glass mug, no longer as cold to the touch as it had been. His thick vulpine tail swayed as if under water, slowly and fluidly behind him as he answered his grey-furred partner.

"I disagree. This is very real police work. We keep one kid from messing up royally and it saves us or another officer a ton of hassle later." Nick explained.

"Yeah, but that's why they have parents and teachers and counselors and truancy officers and a half dozen other people dedicated to them not messing up. You know full well why we are doing this. Us and not, say, Wolford or Rinowitz." She crossed her arms and draped her long black-tipped ears down her back. Nick only smiled more broadly. Judy inwardly winced. She let him see it was getting to her. She could almost see the switch flip in the taller russet mammal.

"I know that we are smaller and less intimidating to the kids so they like asking us questions, and then there's the social media aspect. All of those young bucks looooove you, Carrots!" he fluttered his eyelashes as Judy dropped her small head to the table with a dull thump. Her partner chuckled warmly.

"Please." Judy growled under her breath, "Those boys love some weird idealized super-hero version of me the media seems to be trying to chisel out of nothing." Nick laughed harder and Judy smiled, knowing her expression was, for the moment, not visible. She liked the banter, especially when she was feeling less than useful. Nick perked up suddenly and tapped the table.

"Oh hey, look! Here's the most recent cause of our alarmingly frequent fluff-duty assignments! Alex, turn it up a bit!" Nick called out. A slender impala in white dress shirt grinned at his familiar patron and grabbed the remote, turning up the flat-screen TV behind the bar. The three other patrons looked up at it and Judy groaned, putting her head back down. Nick leaned in over her. "Oh hey, maybe we will see a different angle." He then cupped his hands together and sat up straighter to watch as if in class, his eyes wide and his grin wider, eyes glancing occasionally down at his friend, her long ears laid out over the table.

The TV showed a snow leopard newscaster with an insert graphic behind her that showed a picture of Judy Hopps, looking much more determined and far less embarrassed than she did at her table at that moment. The newscaster spoke with a refined and careful accent.

"More cellphone video has emerged of the harrowing end of a wild and dangerous police encounter on Agave Avenue on Friday. The chase began when Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde spotted Hugh Roaricksted entering the area. Roaricksted was wanted in connection with the kidnapping of City Councilmammal Lydia Greene's seven year old daughter, Stacy Greene." The TV flashed a picture of a young girl deer in a yellow and white sundress with a towel wrapped up in her arms as if heading to a picnic. The feline newscaster continued. " Lydia Greene's ex-fiancé, Gordon Cervida, is suspected to have ordered the kidnapping and was arrested outside his home Friday afternoon. I must caution our viewers with children and sensitive individuals, the following video may be ... a bit violent." The newscaster furrowed her brow in such a manner that it made it obvious that she was understating.

Judy groaned again at the tone that the newscaster used. She wasn't violent, she followed the continuum of force for a mammal her size, and it only made it look... She watched as the video began. She heard her own voice.

"Nick, he's heading back toward the truck, that's gotta be it!" She sounded out of breath as the camera spun a little unsteadily toward the actual action. It showed Judy tumbling like a ragdoll over a brick walkway in front of a line of shops. She skidded onto her feet and to a stop. A large brown bear came into the frame and jumped for her. She darted to the side and used a lamp post to help change her direction suddenly. One of the patrons, a somewhat older-looking pig, gasped at the action on the TV.

"Geeze, talk about mismatched, what's she supposed to do about a bear?!" Judy sighed. At least not everyone in the city had already seen it. The guy had apparently not caught the story until that moment, and Judy kept quiet, not wanting her having a drink a couple tables away spoiling the 'ending' for him. She returned her gaze to the screen. The impala barkeep laughed to the porcine patron.

"Oh yeah, you just got back in town, watch, man, it gets good." The video centered on the bear who looked over his shoulder.

"You go right ahead fox!" the bear called out menacingly. "I'll take good care of the bunny while you check that out! Your choice!" he took a clawed swipe at Judy who managed to dodge again. The bear did not seem to care that several onlookers were not only refusing to scatter, but were filming the action.

"You're gonna wish you danced with me instead, buddy!" came a more distant-sounding shout from Nick. It was hard to hear as captured from the cell phone camera. In the video Judy wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of a small grey paw. There was some blood clearly visible in the shot. The patron stood up from his seat, fixated on the screen as the tiny bunny squared off with the 800 pound wall of flesh and fur.

"Holy crap, Alex, the doe's about to take on a bear, are you kidding?" the pig asked in bewilderment. If he turned around and looked down the other side of the L-shaped bar at the adjoining table he'd have seen Judy actually smirk. She originally hated being underestimated but found herself more frequently benefitting from it as time went on. Nick and Judy gave each other a grin at the pig's reaction and ignored the irony of sitting behind him unaware, and watched the scene unfold just as they knew it would.

On the slightly shaky video, Judy gave a tense, cold stare right into the eyes of the bear, then moved slightly to the side, baiting her attacker to head her off before using those powerful lapine legs to kick off the pavement so hard a puff of dust plumed outward from her launching point, leaving her location vacant as the bear's paw slammed down over it. The sound that was clearly heard in the video made it clear why later video of the bear had him in a cast up to his elbow. He howled in pain and reared back without seeing the angle of the rabbit's jump. That jump let her hook her paw into the same lamp post she'd already used, flinging herself around it with all her strength, if not-so intimidating weight, planting her foot hard into the bear's temple. The rabbit fell back and landed on her feet squarely in front of her ursine opponent. The pig gave a startled shout.

"Run!" he cried as if the rabbit would have, post action, known what to do. Judy looked up at her partner as he watched the pig and smirked again. On the screen, the bunny did not run away. As the dazed bear stooped down quickly to snatch her, she flipped backward between his feet, onto her back, pushing herself upward with her shoulders and into a full handstand on the pavement as both feet came up for at least four hard, rapid, distressingly loud thumps between his parted thighs. There was a pained shout by every male mammal watching, including Nick who knew it was coming. The bear's hands, instead of grabbing Judy, slapped defensively over his rung bell, and it left his chin wide open. Judy reared back with both feet and gave it everything she had. She had done something similar when she was a kit when a bully was being rough with her, but this was different. She wasn't a kit, her strength and training were on full display as the bear jerked back hard. Still clutching his lower injury, the brown-furred behemoth toppled sideways, groaning. The sound of screeching tires was heard, and the camera jerked to see a very large police cruiser having skidded to a stop, then back to Judy, who was backing away to let a polar bear and a wolf officer affect the arrest. As she looked up and back to the direction from which she had been rag-dolled before, the voice of her partner rang out on the radios being carried by the wolf and polar bear. Judy's own radio appeared to have been knocked off.

"Truck is clear, I have the girl! 10-24! Responding officers divert to Hopps' 20, 10-18, last seen by Agave and Palm!" Nick sounded out of breath, and a bit worried. The fox flicked his ear as Judy watched him a moment. He was not smiling at that. She knew he worried about her when things got physical, despite her reputation. He did not like leaving her to handle the bear, but their orders were to secure the child, and Judy knew Nick did exactly what was expected of him. If the girl had to be carried to safety, Nick was the better choice. The video ended. The newscaster returned, her serious expression unchanged from before.

"Officer Wilde located Greene's daughter in a moving truck, shaken up but otherwise unharmed. She has been returned to her mother. Several videos of the event have popped up on Zootube, resulting in renewed interest in the expanded version of the Mammal Inclusion Initiative - "The volume was turned down again as Alex laughed at Nick.

"Your partner got all the screen time this go-round, Nick. You are just never gonna match that bunny's celebrity." The impala grinned. The pig looked down the bar at Nick, and then the semi-hiding form of his partner beside him. Judy groaned out again. She liked compliments and positive attention but genuinely felt that she belonged on the beat, not in a spotlight.

"I don't do it for celebrity; I just try to do my job." After a second or two the pig gasped, recognizing the bunny's black-tipped but swept back ears.

"Oh dear heavens they're right here with me! Oh, bunny, I gotta buy you a drink!" Nick nudged Judy. She groaned and prepared her speech for non-acceptance of favors. Nick picked up Alex's donation bucket. It was for a clothing drive for displaced victims of a multi-block fire a month previous. He shook it in front of the pig with a grin.

"In her name if you must!" the fox piped. Judy looked up, a little impressed with how elegantly Nick dispelled the offered platitude. The porcine gladly contributed and slapped Nick on the back. He returned to his drink and the fox returned to his partner's side.

"Satisfied, Slick?" Judy asked, sitting up and shaking off the embarrassment of unneeded recognition.

"Satisfied that you can clearly see Bogo's point. We can't hit the streets while you going savage on a bear is viral on Zootube and Chitter." Nick explained. Judy visibly winced at the comment about going savage. "We go into a crowd and you get mobbed by fans, and the perp gets away! Bogo knows what he's doing, give it a few weeks, it'll die down." The fox stretched a bit. "In the meantime, we get to enjoy short days and no detailed report writing. That's as valuable as our commendations!" Judy finished her drink, the slush having melted while they watched the video.

"I do not have fans, Nick." She stated flatly. "I've been in the public eye just a couple of times, that's it. Might be a few who are happy to see me but fans? Please." She smiled at the idea, rose tinting the inside of her ears. Nick was notorious for teasing her ego that she tried desperately to hide. It had been kicked down hard during the Nighthowler case and she made a point to strangle it if it began to make itself known. Nick shook his head at his partner again.

"Oh no, my bunny bestie, it's not just the few incidents that have made folks notice you... When I was in the academy, especially during Bellwether's trial, you got a lot of face time with public outreach, you did interviews, you were on the news like... every other day for a while, and you always had something inspirational and uplifting to say." Judy felt her face heat up. Nick teased her plenty but this did not feel like teasing. He was paying her genuine compliments, even if just to make his case. "The point is, the city got to know you and when their acclaimed bunny saves a darling little doe, drops a bear, and calmly reads him his rights after being obviously roughed up herself, there's gonna be fans." He leaned in, that smarmy half-lidded expression in his green eyes that let Judy know the real teasing was coming.

"Please no." the bunny whined.

"I bet there's a fan club. I bet you can buy cute little plush toys for the kits with black-tipped ears and violet eyes." Judy buried her face in her arms, little teardrop tail flittering, face burning, hoping no one else in the patio bar was hearing this.

"Please stop." She groaned, praying silently for it to end.

"I should get one." Nick stated, eyes wide as if realizing he really did need it. How had he lived his life without it? He winced as Judy's little fist impacted his shoulder, and he laughed. "I bet there's sordid, scandalous fan-fiction and everything!" he crossed his arms. "I dare you to look. Check your phone. Judy plus ZPD plus Fanfiction." The bunny rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone.

"Fine, pest, I will show you that it's not there..." Nick winced at being called pest, but the bunny didn't really notice it. She began typing on her phone with her tiny soft fingertips. Nick watched over her shoulder. Judy's ears heated up a little more. She always felt a little self-conscious when the fox was this close. "What did you say, fan-fiction? Is that like ... the rumor mill?" she asked. Nick laughed loudly at her.

"You were buried in books and studies and learning everything possible about the law and being a cop, and you utterly missed half the culture around you!" Judy furrowed a brow, the dark expression daring her partner to drop the dumb bunny tag and get an elbow to the gut. He did not bite, however, and continued, "No, it's not rumors, it's stories. Fans like to write stories to fill in the gaps, or even tell their own stories about familiar characters." Nick tried explaining as simply as he could.

"I'm not a fictional character." She corrected.

"I know that, but fans create characters based on real people sometimes. You'd be surprised." Judy held up her phone as it 'thought' about the request.

"We will see who is surprised, Nick. There is no way I am interesting enough to ANYONE but my coworkers to - SEVEN THOUSAND HITS?!" Her eyes bulged at it. Nick visibly winced again. The fox gritted his teeth, sucking a deep breath through them with a soft hiss.

"Oh man, okay, I really was just being a pain, are you serious?" he asked, leaning in again. Judy showed him the phone. He took the phone from Judy, scanning some of the entries, it seemed, and his eyes got wider and wider, making the bunny recoil a little in stunned disbelief. Nick winced again and suddenly closed the browser with a stab of his claw tip at her tiny phone screen. Tik.

"Hey! Why did you close it? I need to look at that!" she protested.

"No, No you don't. I forbid you to read it." Nick stated flatly, crossing his arms.

"I beg your pardon?" the bunny asked, her nose wiggling.

"I. Forbid. You. To. Read. Those. Stories." Nick spoke every word clearly as if she had just missed it.

"I heard you, but I don't know how you think you can just forbid things like that." She laughed, typing the search on her phone again. Nick sighed and Judy looked up at him, seeing genuine concern in his face, she stopped. What was he hiding? He spoke up again.

"Carrots, listen, these are fictional stories. Maybe they have a character based on you, but she's not you, and she's their character. She's gonna do stuff you might not do, say things you'd never say, and some of that will end up being unflattering or even appalling, trust me." Nick mashed his own ears back in frustration as Judy let the phone search again. She stared at Nick while it was thinking, wiggling her nose. She could not remember the last time seeing him this tense.

"Nick, I understand that, but I am curious. I mean, what kind of things are these mammals writing using my name?" she asked.

"I am sure you do not want to know. Look fluff, I am trying to keep you from getting upset over nothing! Over worse than nothing, pretend nothing." the fox pleaded. Judy narrowed her eyes a little at her partner.

"What, you think I can't read these things in an emotionally un-attached and responsible adult fashion? You think I am gonna read an unflattering story and fall apart?" the bunny asked incredulously.

"Do I think that?" he asked in a tone gratingly familiar. She knew what was coming. "Yes. Yes I do." Judy crossed her arms in bitter indignation.

"Fine, Slick. I am gonna read this no matter what you say, you have to know that by now..." Nick groaned as she spoke. "... So how about this: If I can't handle it and I get bent out of shape, I pay for pizza next time we do Trivia Night with Wolford and his pals. If I can handle it just fine, then you get to pay. Need I remind you how much pizza that 'pack' puts away?" Nick shook his head rapidly.

"No, not gonna work fluff. I'm not turning this into one of our bets, because you could offer to wear a fox-tail to work for six months and I would not take the bet. It's not worth your sanity, Carrots. I don't want you to mess with that stuff. I'm gonna be the one who has to deal with the fallout!" His expression seemed genuinely concerned, and while that normally made Judy feel a bit more understanding with Nick since he was rarely so serious, she could not help but be offended that he was trying to protect her from her own emotions. She thumped her foot rapidly a moment.

"Fine. No bet. You might as well have, since I am still going to read them, but you must know you stand to tarnish your perfect bet-winning record." She grinned at the fox smugly. Nick flailed a bit, groaning. Judy smirked at his reaction. Nick's motto was never let them see they get to you, but she had a knack for doing that to him. He placed his hands on the table and looked grumpy. Judy leaned closer, making his ears drop back. He looked back to Judy and said, with a pitiful tone,

"Judy... This is not an 'I told you so' I am looking forward to giving. I'm being honest here." She blinked at that. He usually only used her real name when he really needed her to listen to him. This was not breaking her curiosity at all, it was making it worse. He continued. "I will give you 80 bucks for the pizza on Trivia Night right now if you promise not to read a single one of those stories." She gave him the doe eyes which usually broke him out of a funk when he lost a heated debate. He kept his stressed expression. Judy smiled and purred, "Does the angry fox want some cheesy fries?" Nick sighed with irritation and stated flatly.

"Yes." The bunny chuckled and ordered. After a few minutes of silence, they resumed normal topics of discussion and Nick mellowed, letting Judy feel a little better. It helped that she didn't bring up fan-fiction again, and she didn't intend to. She would remind Nick about the discussion after she had completed her task of reading one of these inexplicably taboo things without suffering the damage that Nick seemed to think she could not avoid. Silly fox, thinking that a rabbit like her, who could go through the things she and Nick had gone through, could not handle an unflattering representation of a character based on her. It was insulting! She would show her partner she was not just an emotional bunny. She indexed the site on her phone and made a mental note to dedicate a little time to reading later tonight.