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Part 7 - Christmas

The plater drifts on the water as I put it into the washing sink. "you'd better get ready, we're going to Aunt Sally again. James is going to be there too so you guys can catch up a bit." I hear my dad's voice from the kitchen door.

"Uhm, dad. I kinda wanted to show Tracey the Duck ponds today." I reply, hoping he'd agree to let me take her.

"O-o-h, the duck ponds." My dad teases. "Okay, sure. Just don't do anything I wouldn't. He teases me some more.

The duck ponds are a very special place, my dad took my mom there on their very first date, so I'm planning to take Tracey there too.

Soon enough my parents leave for Aunt Sally's house. Tracey and I take to the streets on our way to the ponds. As we walk, her arm wraps around mine and I gladly accept it. It feels comforting, warm, I don't need to constantly look over my shoulder. It just feels right.

As we walk we come across old friends of mine, we greet them, I can introduce her to them without fear of them thinking there's something between us. Actually, a part of me wants to them think that.

The ponds are beautiful, the sun reflects against the water, creating a vivid stream of light across the clear water. "It's beautiful", she says as we stand at the side of one of the ponds. The ducks swim, eat and play in the water.

We sit under a tree, unpacking the picnic basket. We laugh, we talk, we eat, it's just a wonderful day. James is out of my mind completely. Everytime I look at Tracey, she smiles. As we kiss, I wish that moment would just go on forever and ever. I've never felt such passion in a relationship, and I think I'm falling for her.

It's 3pm, we decide to head back home as we look at the sun starting to set behind some of the higher trees. "Thanks for today, Mark" Traey says as she looks into my eyes. We kiss again, then head back home.

Soon enough we arrive back at my parents' place, my parents are still at Aunt Sally's Chirstmas party, or so they told me when I spoke with them over the phone about five minutes ago.

"Mark, do you have any foot-cream?" Tracey calls from the hall as I take off my shoes in my room.

"Yeah, I think there's some in my parents' room!" I shout back at her.

I sit down on the couch and turn on the television. "I can't find it!" Tracey shouts from the room.

"Don't worry, I'm on my way!" I shout as I get up from the couch and head towards my parents' room.

I pick up the foot-cream from the vanity case, "Here it is." I say as I hold the foot-cream up to her.

"Thanks, your mom hides it quite far." she says.

"Yeah, my dad and I use it all up sometimes." I mention.

We stand right in front of each other, she smiles faintly. "Well, better go put on that cream." she says as she takes the cream from my hands.

I smile back at her. "Yeah." I say.

She turns away and walks to the door. Leaving me behind. She stops in the door arch, puts the cream down and walks back to me. "Merry Christmas, Mark." she says in a sexy voice. She starts kissing me, we kiss so passionately that I'm forced down to sit on the bed. Sitting on the bed turns into kissing on the bed, one thing leads to another and we end up making love.

Afterwards, we lie in my parents' bed. The one moment it's all still there, but then suddenly, I'm flung all the way from cloud nine down to mother earth, hitting ground zero with an amazing speed.

I just spent a whole day cheating on James, a whole day I completely forgot about the one who never can't spend a moment without me. I just made love to a girl in my parents' bed! Oh crap! What the hell did I just do. I look over to Tracey.

"I love you" she says as she looks deep into my eyes.

Now she's telling me she loves me? "I-I love you too." I manage to say.

"Did you just pause?" she asks.

"Pause? I didn't pause" I reply nervously.

"You paused, when someone pause to something like "I Love You", then..." she says, but she's cut short as we hear a car pull in to the driveway.

"Oh crap! My parents!" I shout. We jump out of bed and quickly make it up as best we can. We grab our clothes and run down the hall to our rooms, getting dressed quickly.

By the time our parents step into the house, we exit our rooms and greet my parents at the front door. "Had a good day kids?" My mom asks.

"It was wonderful miss." Tracey tells my mom.

"Well, you can tell me about it while we make dinner." My mom says.

"Mom..." I mutter embarrased as they walk off to the kitchen.

"Oh, by the way. James asked that you call him when you get a chance. He wants to know something about some new year's party you're supposed to go to." My dad mentions

Oh crap! I forgot that James was at Aunt Sally's too! "I'll call him dad, thanks." I say.

Nervously I call James inside my room. "How was your date?" he asks as he picks up the phone, he didn't even greet me.

"James, I can explain..." I start, but he cuts me off.

"Mark, what the hell is going on?" he asks me.

I stay quiet for a while to collect my thoughts. "Do you remember when this all started we decided to give each other enough space if one of us should meet a girl?" I ask him.

"Yeah?" he replies.

"Well, I'm asking for that space now." I say.

"Mark, that was when we started off. Things have changed. Didn't..." he stops to lower his voice to a whisper. "Didn't we say we love each other at various times?" he continues.

"I know James, and I do love you but..." I say, but James interrupts.

"You love Tracey too..." he says disappointed, I can hear him sigh on the other side of the phone.

"I just need time to think." I tell him.

"You know I can't wait forever." he says.

"I know, just give me a little time to figure things out. Okay?" I ask.

"Sure." I hear him say. There's a long silence. "Well, I better go." James says. "M-My parents are calling me."

"Goodbye James. Merry Christmas" I say, I feel tears fill my eyes. I knew a day like this may come, but I never thought that it would be this hard.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas." he says, I can almost feel his sadness through the phone as he puts it down.

For a while I sit on my bed. Is it over? Did I just end it? I didn't, did I? I hope not, I'm just unsure of myself, of what I want. I mean, what I have with James is special, but what I have with Tracey is just as special.

With a sigh, with tears in my eyes, with an unsure heart, I lower my head into my hands. What the hell am I going to do?

---

Part 8 - A new year.

"Wonderful." I mutter as I get dressed for the new year's party in my room. "This is going to be one really crappy night." I think to myself. Why the hell does the party have to be at my parents' house this year? Various family members are coming down to celebrate the new year with us, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles etc. Aunt Sally is coming over too, and guess who's bringing her, James' family. Yes, even more nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles from their side of the family, and of course... "James..." I silently mention to myself as I button up my shirt.

The fact that Tracey's going out with some of her friends tonight is at least a bit comforting, she did ask if I wanted to go with her, but something inside me didn't want to. So, I declined and they decided to make it a girls' night. Maybe this could give me some time to talk to James, find out what he's thinking about this. Or should I just leave it for when I return back to the city?

As I exit my room,I find that a few guests have already arrived. I greet them friendly and show them where all the drinks are, pouring myself one too. I just wish there's some alcohol here, that way I could at least forget about this mess for one night... Or spill everything out in my drunkness. No, it's better that there's no booze.

After a while the house is full of guests, awaiting the start of the new year.

"2010 is going to be awesome!" one of my cousins tell me as she takes a sip of her cola almost like making a toast.

"Yeah, awesome." I try to say as enthusiastically as possible, lifting my glass slightly.

Suddenly I hear Aunt Sally' voice at the front door, they're here...

As I greet James, I listen to his voice, it seems friendly enough. Maybe it's just a front.

It's 9pm, almost three hours had gone by since James arrived and we haven't said a single word besides "Hello" to each other. I stand at the snacks table, I find myself staring at him. "Dammit he looks so hot", I think to myself. He's wearing formal black pants with a dark purple long-sleeved shirt. I decide to take a walk outside, I need some air.

A cool breeze blows past me as I sit calmly on the garden chair. I look up at the stars, sparkling brightly up in the sky. I hear a deep voice behind me, "It's nice and cool outside." I turn to look around, it's James standing behind me.

"It sure is." I reply.

James moves over a garden chair opposite me. "Listen, I've been thinking about what happened the other day." he says.

It feels like a bomb explodes in my chest, but at least we can talk about things now.

"Yeah?" I reply, looking at his deep, gentle eyes. Eyes I have missed so much during the holiday.

"You know how I feel about you and you know I'll always be there if you need me." he says, it looks like he's never said anything this hard before. His calm eyes looks like they're filling up with tears.

"Of course I know." I say. I want to take his paw in my hand, but I can't. The party people behind us stop us from doing it. If this was Tracey, it would be a lot easier.

James lets out a sigh and takes a deep breath. "I'm... I'm going to give you the space you need, just don't keep me in the dark. I mean... If... If you choose... Tracey, at least tell me or let me know. Okay?" I can see tears leaking from his eyes, the bright moon reflecting in them.

"Thanks James, I'll do that." I say.

For a moment, the music goes away, the sound of people laughing and partying in the background dims away. For a moment, it's just me and James, looking into each other's eyes. I want to just grab his maw and kiss him right now, but I just can't.

"Why am I crying?" James breaks the silence, trying to laugh as best he can.

I smile at him, I feel tears fill my eyes. More silence ensues, in between the noisy music and guests, that is.

"Well, I guess I'll be going. There's a piece of cake with my name on it." James says jokingly.

Still smiling, I nod and he enters the house again. After a while I gather my strength and enter the house too, hoping that I can enjoy the party, or at least make everyone believe that I am...

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Well, that's two more chapters. If you're thinking that I'm dragging it out then don't worry. Mark will have to make his choice in the next chapter or two.

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