FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 11

Back in my room I rummage around the drawers and eventually find a piece of paper and a pencil to make my list while I sit down on the side of the bed. As I am writing down the spices and other ingredients that I could use for future meals my mind begins to drift back to the conversations I just had with Chase and Jasmine. Part of me was glad to have been able to open up to them even a tiny bit and felt bad even for how sharp I was at times. But an equal part of me is upset at my own weakness and inability to keep my feelings buried like I normally do.

A gentle knocking on the door startles me from my task causing me to look up, "Yes? Who is it?"

The cracks open just a bit and Chase pokes his head in, "Just me, was wondering if we could talk a bit more?"

I look at him for a moment then gesture towards the chair against the wall.

Without saying anything Chase steps in and closes the door behind him, "Thanks."

As he settles down in the chair I go back to the list and continue to scribble out the items I need. After a moment of letting the silence stretch he breaks it by saying, "Eb I want to apologize for seeming pushy earlier in the kitchen. I'm just not used to not being given a straight answer when I ask for one around here and you have a habit of avoiding straight answers better than you avoid other people."

I glance at him quickly before looking back at the list, "No need to apologize. You are the alpha around here and that affords you more leeway than most in demanding answers."

He nods slowly saying, "That's true but I should remember that you are still a guest and not a member of my pack and that I should respect your privacy in that regards."

I say nothing in response so he continues, "What I'm trying to say Eb is that I'm not trying to demand answers from you or trying to interrogate you when I ask you questions. I'm asking them because I would like to get to know you better. To become your friend... and maybe.... something more.... someday."

With a sigh I set the paper and pencil down but keep my gaze averted from him, "Chase..."

"I know what you have said Ebony." His interruption causes a wave of irritation to flow over me, "But I never said I would give up hope on it happening. I'm just trying to be honest with you about it and upfront so you know where I stand."

Letting out a long slow breath I say, "You know why I can't get attached at any level."

He nods, "I know and I accept that for now. But that's not the main reason I came to talk to you. I just wanted to get it out in the open from the start so you won't be upset if I try and make a move again later."

Curiosity getting the better of me I finally look at him and ask, "If that's not the main reason you came to talk then what is?"

For the first time since I met him Chase looks a bit... embarrassed for lack of a better word, "Well it's about what you offered, about teaching me...."

Understanding lights up my mind like the sun, "You are wanting to start lessons on how to read I take it."

He nods and in his eyes I see a mixture of fear, shame, and more than a little of hope and excitement. Watching his eyes and face bit of his excitement seems to rub off on me and I can only imagine how hard coming to ask about that was for him. To be honest I had half expected him to never bring up the subject again.

Setting my list to the side I give Chase my full attention for the first time since he entered the room. Taking a moment to study him I let the silence fill the room before asking, "Have you talked to any of the others about learning to read and write?"

He nods, "I have and some of them want to learn.... Wait write? I thought you were just going to teach us to read?"

I suppress a slight growl saying, "Well the two subjects tend to go hand in hand. The best way to improve either one is to know both. Learning how to write will only help you learn how to read that much better and faster."

For a moment Chase seems to hesitate on his reply. Then his face hardens with determination and he says, "Well if that's what it takes. It would only be of benefit to my pack to learn both wouldn't it."

I nod, "That it would."

He looks around the room a bit then asks, "So when do we start?"

Raising an eyebrow I ask, "You want to start now?"

"Why not." He shrugs as he continues, "No point in putting it off is there?"

Caught a little off guard by his sudden readiness to learn I try and come up with a quick reply, "Uh well.... I don't guess there is. Wish I had a few more books to use than just cookbooks though. Having a wider range of reading material would be helpful."

Chase looks at me and gets an excited slightly mischievous look in his eyes, "Actually I might be able to help you with that."

With a bounce in his step he quickly reaches the door to my room and beckons to me, "Come on I need to show you something."

Letting my curiosity at his sudden behavior lead me I follow him out of my room and down the hall towards the stairs. When we reach the stairs however he takes the flight that leads up to the third floor. Having limited most of my time here to the kitchen and my room I have not explored any of the rest of the house.

Wondering where he is taking me now I follow his quickly swishing tail up the stairs to a door that seems to have been closed for a long time. After trying the handle a couple times Chase says, "It seems to be stuck."

Taking a step back he slams his shoulder into the door and it bursts open sending a shower of dust and cobwebs through the air.

Coughing slightly he says, "We don't really have a use for this floor so we just closed it up and ignored it."

As I follow him through the door I find that we are on a small landing which branches to the left and right leading to a door at both ends. The area is very dusty and the air smells old as though no one has been here in years. Chase turns to the left brushing aside a few cobwebs as he reaches for the door and pushes it open.

Inside it is dark but and slightly musty smelling. For a moment I can't see much in the room then I hear a shuffling sound and Chase pulls open the thick curtains letting the morning light flow in. Words catch in my throat as the first light in years falls into the room.

All around the walls are shelves filled to the brim with books of all sizes. Everything is covered in thick layers of dust and webs obscuring all of the titles from view. Near the window is a desk that is covered in loose papers and more books along with a single feather quill set in a now very dry ink well.

Standing next to the window Chase looks at me with a bit of excitement and asks, "Do you think these will help any?"

I look back at him with my jaw hanging open, "You had this collection all along and never even come in here?"

He shrugs, "We can't read so have no use for it. We don't even bother with this whole floor actually everything we need is on the first two so why bother."

I step softly around the room when a thought hits me, "Wait... if none of you can read then why do you even have all these books? Or for that matter the cookbooks I have been using?"

At my questions Chase looks a little sheepish, "Well to be honest we aren't the first to call this place home."

A sinking feeling forms in the pit of my stomach as I fear the secret I am about to learn but I ask anyway, "What do you mean? What happened to the original owners?"

Something in my look must have betrayed my fears because he quickly started to explain, "It's not what you think Eb. We didn't do anything to the previous owner. I found this place abandoned years ago. Well mostly abandoned. There was some... remains... that we buried in the forest. The last person who lived here seemed to have lived alone and died up here. When I found this house all that was left was a very old skeleton of a human. We asked the villagers and they didn't know about anyone that lived here. So whoever it was either was a hermit or died so long ago that no one remembered them."

After shaking off the slight unease of knowing that I am standing where someone died I ask, "So you just moved in and made it your home?"

He nods, "There was a little repair work to be done but the house held up remarkably well considering how long it must have been forgotten."

Moving to one of the shelves I blow the dust off some of the books in a cloud that starts me sneezing, "AHCOO... that was a mistake."

Ignoring the slight chuckle from Chase I look closer at the now uncovered titles and start reading some of them. After a moment I look back to Chase and say, "I think that these books will do nicely. Some of them seem to be texts relating to different areas of study such as history, lost civilizations, and similar subjects. But there also seems to be a few story books as well. If you wanted to study them all they would probably give you a much better education than most people ever get."

He looks at me with a tilted head and asks, "What do you mean?"

Letting out a small groan I say, "Chase, what you have in this room is more valuable than gold. This is quite possibly the largest private collection of knowledge that I know of. There is only one, perhaps two people that I know of that would have a similar collection."

His eyes seem to light up as he looks around, "This is really that valuable? You mean we have had a treasure here and never knew it?"

I just nod as I continue moving from shelf to shelf looking through the books. After a moment I stop and turn back to him saying, "Most of these are obviously way beyond your level right now, but in time there is nothing keeping you from reading them. Mind you we need to do a very detailed and very careful cleaning of this room before we can fully use them."

Chase nods and says, "Well I can get some of the others and we can have this place cleaned up in no time."

With that we move back out of the room and back to the landing. Its then that I remember the other door across the way and point at it, "What's in that other room Chase?"

He follows my finger to the other door and shrugs, "Just some old items and tables. Nothing all that interesting."

I follow him to the door which opens easier than the last two and peering in I see several tables covered in beakers and test tubes in racks. Along the far wall is several shelves with old jars with dried and shriveled up contents on the bottom. Aside from that there is little else of value.

Turning back to Chase I say, "I think the last owner of this place was some kind of scholar or something. This looks to be a lab of some kind and the room with the books was either a library or their private study. I couldn't say more without some of their belongings to look at though."

He shrugs, "There really wasn't that much else in the house we got here besides these two rooms, what was in the kitchen, and a few boxes of stuff that we stored down in the basement. Nearly all the other rooms were empty. Most everything in here now we put there."

Something strikes me as odd about a house this large being left forgotten and empty for so long but I can't put my finger on it so I let the idea flow by and go back to the second floor with Chase saying, "Well since we have a wide selection of books to use now and a house full of wolves wanting to use them I guess I had better make good on my offer to teach you how to read huh."

He grins at me, "Yeah I guess you better."

I look back at him without a grin and say, "Just so you know I have never taught anyone... well anything actually. So I will probably be a lousy teacher. And I can tell you now that I have rather low patience."

He shrugs without losing his smile, "So, we have never had a teacher before so we will be in the same boat and probably will have low patience as well."

Grumbling I walk back to my room, "Just what we need, a bunch of wolves and one demon with low patience for what we are doing."

Falling in step besides me he says, "I'm sure it won't be that bad. So when do you want to start?"

Letting out a sigh I take a moment to think then say, "I guess once we get the third floor cleaned up good and I have had a chance to look through the books we can start."

His grin gets wider as he says, "Great! You go finish your list of things you want from town and I will grab a few others after they finish breakfast and we will get that room shining."

With that he turns and heads downstairs leaving me alone outside of my room. Stepping inside and closing the door behind me I sit down on the foot of the bed before falling backwards and rubbing my eyes with both paws mumbling, "What did I get myself into?"

A voice echoes from beside me and I crack open an eye to look at the mirror, "Oh I don't know, but it sure looks to me like you just got yourself a teaching job."

My demonic side is reflecting back at me with a smug grin on its face, "You must really want to get laid by that wolf if you're going to teach him to read."

Growling I sit up and look at the mirror, "That is not why I offered and you know it. I owe him a debt and this is repayment that is all."

He throws his head back in laughter, "HA HA. Sure it is. Just keep telling yourself that if you want. But don't bother lying to me about it. We both know that you like him and that any damage you could do by staying here has already been done. Agerex will find this place sooner or later and you know that. So why are you trying to keep up the illusion that you can come here, make a few changes, then leave without consequences?"

The only retort I can come up with is to simply growl at him causing him to laugh again, "Oh please, that doesn't scare me Ebony and you know it. Sometimes I think you are really the bigger danger to people than Agerex ever could be. He is at least honest about wanting to cause harm. You on the other hand cause harm while claiming to be trying to prevent it."

Ignoring him I get up from the bed and go to the window turning my back to the mirror as I pull the curtains open. The light from outside spills in burning my eyes for a moment as they adjust to the white reflecting off the sea of snow.

A sigh echoes from behind me as he speaks, "Eb, I may be the evil incarnate within you but when it matters I do care about you."

I let out snort without turning as he continues, "Well I care in as far as we are linked in life and death at least. So let me tell you this, our life sucks. For years now we have done nothing but run from one place to another never staying in one place. Never making allies, never getting resources, never trying to stop Agerex from killing us. Why is that?"

Slowly I release an exasperated sigh, "You know damn well why it is I don't stay anywhere. He kills anyone and anything we get to close to."

The strength of his gaze bores into my back even from across the reflection, "That's not the whole reason though is it."

Refusing to answer him I let the silence grow longer and longer until he growls and says, "Fine, keep your silence. But it still doesn't change the fact that we both know you are not running because you are protecting others."

I continue to stare out the window until I feel sure that he has once again receded back to the darkness where he lives. Turning back to the mirror I see only my own reflection staring back at me causing me to let out a sigh of relief, "We may share a body and mind but I am still the one in control."

With that I turn my attention back to the list I had started for Chase and set about finishing up what spices I need. All the while my mind continues to wonder back to the conversation I just had with my demonic side and I can't help but wonder if I am doing the right thing in staying and helping this pack. After all, no good has ever come from me helping anyone before. Everything I touch seems to be cursed to suffer and die.