Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 98
98
Death. Everywhere around her. She could smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it, but most of all, she could see it, dancing in front of her eyes as a thick, black line. It was like a serpent without head or tail, just an endless band of darkness going on and on forever, cutting through all the other colours, slicing them apart as if with a knife.
They floated before her like ribbons, flowing through white nothingness, rivers of colour, rainbows unshackled. She knew this place. It was where she went to speak with the Cora.
Hope swelled in her heart. She looked around, eager to see His holy visage one more time. She knew He must be here somewhere. In a waking world devoid of light, He was the one constant, the one who always answered her prayers, the one who was always there for her, no matter how dark and barren her life had become.
A shadow fell across the colours, strong enough to extinguish light itself. She turned around, and there He was, in all His glory.
Her first son.
Her ensa.
"Banno..."
He was more massive than any statue, greater even than the mountain. He filled the very sky with His presence, blanketing the horizon from east to west like nightfall. Where His eyes used to be there were now glowing orbs of light, brighter than the stars, brighter than the sun itself, shining down on her, forcing her onto her back with the sheer weight of their brilliance.
She stared into them, relishing the burning pain in her eyes.
"I knew it..." she said, completely enraptured. "I knew you were Him... I knew it..."
He looked down at her, smiling. She could feel His love just as surely as she could feel His embrace.
Was he carrying her? Carrying her away from that horrible black snake?
"Thank you..." she whispered, feeling the warmth of his arms against her back. "Thank you... thank you..."
Banno smiled. He loved his mother, and she loved Him. He was always such a good boy. Such a strong boy. She could trust Him to get her out of this mess. And then... and then... then they would get their revenge. They would find that devil and rip her guts out. They would make her pay for what she did to Kadai.
Banno's smile grew even wider. His teeth were like mountain peaks, jagged spikes of stone capped with ice and frost. His breath was a biting wind, carving straight through her body, cleaving her open, making her shiver in ecstasy.
The corner of his mouth split apart and a drop of blood wealed from his flesh. She could smell it, sharp and strong like iron. It broke free, a lake of blood in the blackened sky, rushing through the air, coming to meet her, coming to bathe her in what was essentially a part of Him, a piece of His very essence. She could see her own reflection, distorted by the undulating curve, making her seem bigger than she actually was, with her arms splayed out, ready to embrace His being, ready to fuse with Him, become a part of Him, forever and ever...
A single tear, no bigger than the claw of her pinky finger, fell open her face. It was warm.
She wiped it away and stared at the spot of wetness against her palm, wondering where all the blood had gone.
She looked up and all the happiness, all the hope, all the pleasure and ecstasy evaporated from her heart in the blink of an eye.
"You!" she screamed, absolutely seething. There was no word, not even in the Old Tongue, that could express her hatred and loathing.
It was Ander filling the sky, his filthy brown shade of Fox fur stretching from horizon to horizon like dirty clouds filled with mudwater.
"Mother panicked when we dug her out," he said, speaking to a point beyond the world of light and colour. "She thought she was under attack. She lashed out."
She swiped her claws through the air, aiming for his face, but he was simply too far away. She might as well be trying to attack the moon. Inarticulate cries of anger and frustration escaped her throat with every lunge.
Ander looked down, then to the side, like he always did when he was struggling to find the right words.
"It wasn't her fault."
"Of course it wasn't my fault!" Shekka screamed, brandishing her fists above her head. "You're the one who killed Kadai! You and your demonic slut of a Fox mother! It was you! You! You killed him! Not- Aargh!"
Shekka clapped her hands over her eyes. It felt like they were being turned inside out, like someone was slowly pushing red hot coals inside of them! Coals filled with needles! They burned and boiled inside her head!
She doubled over and screamed, screamed until she had no more breath left to scream with, and then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the pain was gone.
She carefully lowered her hands and had to bite back yet another scream when she saw that they were covered in blood, her blood, pooling in her palms and dripping between her fingers. But instead of the thick, cloying scent of iron, this foul substance had a very different odour. It was subtle, but unmissable. Earthy and dry...
More blood with that same scent suddenly fell past her nose in a solid red drop as big as her fist. She jumped back in alarm as even more of them fell from the sky like gigantic drops of rain.
She looked up, and this time she could not hold her screams back. They just burst out of her, one after the other, and she was powerless to stop them.
It was Kadai, her darling Kadai, her mate of thirty years, and he was in terrible pain. Blood was leaking from his face. It flowed from the corners of his eyes like crimson tears, it dripped from his nose in a steady patter, it dribbled from his lips. There was even blood seeping from his ears. It was like his whole face was melting, and he was painfully, excruciatingly aware of it.
"Shekka..." he whispered. His tongue was absolutely soaked in blood. "Why did you do it? Why did you do this to me?"
"W- Why did I?" Shekka was completely taken aback. "What are you talking about, Kadai? I didn't do this to you!"
"Why, Shekka? I loved you..."
Those words hurt even more than the burning pain in her eyes. "Liar! If you really loved me as much as you say, then why wasn't my love enough for you!?"
Kadai had no answer, and that only served to feed the fire of her anger.
"I didn't betray you, Kadai! I would never betray you! But if I did... If I did... then it was only because you betrayed me first!"
Shekka clapped her crimson hands over her mouth. What was she saying? No, it didn't mean anything. She misspoke. There was no first betrayal, only a single betrayal. His! That was why he ended up that way! His sins finally caught up with him, and he was punished for it! He got exactly what he deserved, and... and...
"Why...?" Shekka asked through her bloodied hands. "Why did you have to leave me all alone?"
Kadai shook his head. "I never left you, Shekka. You're the one who pushed me away. You're the one..."
"No! Stop! Don't say it! Don't say it, please!" Shekka covered her ears, but his voice was like thunder.
"...who killed me."
The ribbons of colour froze in place. No longer did they flow like rivers or sway like leaves or swoop over each other like gusts of wind. They were completely stagnant.
"W- What?" That stench was getting stronger, that deep, fetid odour of dead and rotting earth.
"You killed me, Shekka."
Drops of blood fell from his face and exploded into red starbursts all around her, hemming her in, cutting off all hope of escape. "No! It wasn't me, I swear! It was that Fox! She infected you! She corrupted you! She poisoned y-"
Her words didn't simply cut off, they were blocked off. There was something lodged in her throat! It was soft and slimy, but big! She was choking on it! She couldn't breathe!
Shekka coughed and gagged. Her eyes watered. Thick, disgusting ropes of blood burst from her mouth and nose. She could feel it inside her, coming up her throat, coming... She bent over and hacked a foul-smelling lump into her hands. It looked like a piece of raw meat, all covered in blood. The top was smooth, but the bottom was ruffled, and there was a strange growth coming out of it. What was this thing? Did it really come from inside her? What...?
The blood slowly drained out of her hands, and what was left...
Shekka's eyes grew wide and tears spilled down her cheeks as she realised what she was looking at.
It was a mushroom. A holy mushroom. The same kind she used to commune with her God. The same kind she had used to -
"Nooo!" She flung it aside and wiped her hands on her chest, smearing Kadai's necklace with blood. "I didn't do it! I didn't do it!"
She stumbled and fell onto her back and Kadai was right there, floating above her body, less than an inch from her face, staring with unblinking, bloodshot eyes.
"You killed me, Shekka."
"No! I loved you, Kadai! I loved you more than anything!"
"You murdered me."
"No! Please, Kadai! Don't say such things!"
"You poisoned me, and then you comforted our grieving son with those same hands."
"No, Kadai! I love Hezzi! I would never hurt him! You know that! That's why I came here, to save him! To bring him back home! He is our son, our real son, and I love him! I love you, Kadai! I -"
She reached out, only to touch him, only to reassure him, only to let him know that she was here, that she was Shekka, that she was his mate, that she loved him, and therefore his words couldn't possibly be true, but her hands were absolutely soaked in blood. They were drenched all the way up to her elbows.
"You are poison, Shekka."
"I... noooo... I didn't... I didn't!"
"You are poison."
"No! Kadai, please... please stop doing this!"
There were no more ribbons of colour in this world. They had all turned pitch black.
"Poison."
They were growing thicker and longer, jagged black lines like cracks, tearing, crumbling, destroying.
"Poison."
This place of colour and light, her last refuge from the Empty world, was falling apart. The darkness burned her eyes like fire!
She shut them tight, feeling the warmth of her tears flowing past her temples. "It wasn't me..." she whispered. "I didn't do it... I didn't do it!"
She could speak no more after that. Every time she tried, her words were swallowed up by an explosive sob. They surged through her body, pulling and tearing, making her feel like she would either suffocate or rip herself apart.
"Shekka..."
She didn't want to open her eyes, but she could feel him coming closer. She could feel the distance between them thinning, and then he was there, right on top of her. She could feel the soft caress of his body, making her shiver. She could feel his breath blowing across her face. It smelled of blood and mushrooms.
Kadai, I...
"I forgive you, Shekka."
What?
Shekka opened her eyes, too stunned to even speak. Kadai was so close she could see nothing else. It was a view she used to cherish, a view that turned the entire darkening world into something good. The mate she loved. The one who had chosen her when he could have had any other. The smiling mouth, the kind, caring eyes. She could see herself reflected in those eyes, just as she had seen herself in the drop of blood from her first son's teeth. And she was furious.
"You... forgive me?" Every syllable trembled with anger. "You have the gall to say that you forgive me!? After what you've done!? After the way you betrayed me!? You!? Forgive me!? I'm the one who should forgive you!"
Kadai's eyes seemed less colourful than before. More faded, pale, as if thunderclouds were gathering inside them.
"I will _never_forgive you, Kadai!" Shekka screamed, launching droplets of spittle into his face. "I gave you my life! I gave you two beautiful sons and a daughter! I gave you everything, but it still wasn't enough for you! You betrayed me, Kadai, and no matter what you say, no matter what you do, you can never change that! You can never atone for it! You can never make it right!"
Kadai looked at her. It was the same look he had worn on his deathbed, so pained and confused. "I'm sorry, Shekka..." he said and closed his eyes. A single tear rolled down his muzzle and fell upon her cheek.
It burned like fire.
"Get off me!" she screamed. "Get the hell off me!" She tried to push him away, but he was too heavy. "Kadai, damn you! I said! Get! OFF!!"
She raked her claws across his face and four black lines of nothingness tore open across his features, four black bands of empty space.
"Get off, get off, get off!!" She slashed him again and again, tearing his face wide open. The lines connected like the crisscrossing threads of a spider web, but instead of blood, more blackness game gushing out, pouring all over her body like a putrid ichor, and still she couldn't stop swiping her claws across his face, tearing and breaking. She kept going until the liquid darkness cocooned her arms to her sides, leaving her incapable of moving. She struggled against the sticky bonds, but that only tightened the snares.
She threw her head back and screamed; screamed in anger, pain, frustration, misery, hatred, all of it.
This whole place was falling apart. Large chunks of white fell from the sky like snow and left behind only black cavities. Everything was dying, becoming hollow and empty.
Just like me...
The black enveloped the white, leaving no colour or light at all. Soon, it was only Shekka and the thing that used to be the Wolf she had loved with all her heart, now a jagged mess of sharp angles spewing thick, black sludge in its death throes.
It flowed across her chest, covering his old necklace claw by claw and tooth by tooth, swallowing it whole.
"No, stop!" Shekka yelled, but it was no use. The ichor spread further and further, flowing over her collar bones and up her neck. It was cold. It was terribly, unbearably cold, and even worse, it was intimate somehow, like a lover's touch, caressing every inch of her.
It oozed over her cheeks and across her lips, one final kiss. She gasped for air and then it was inside her, thick and slimy, moving across her teeth like a stranger's tongue.
"I did nothing wrong!" she screamed. "I did nothing wrong! Everything that happened to you happened because you deserved it! You brought it upon yourself! You -"
The ichor flowed down her throat, turning her words into a wretched gargle. It was in her nose, reeking of decomposing mushrooms.
You deserved it... Shekka thought as every muscle in her body went rigid. The black liquid flowed over her eyes, sealing them shut, bathing her world in darkness once again.
You deserved to die...
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