Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 87
87
The entire pass just... exploded. Ander stood frozen, watching in horror as a thousand blood-crazed Wolves came storming down the pass, waving spears and axes in the air, screaming and roaring, slobber flying from their teeth. They were like a giant black torrent sweeping through the mountain, more fluid than solid, dark water come to wash everything away. They even sounded like a raging river, their countless footfalls echoing through the mountain like thunder.
There was thunder back then, too. Lightning in the sky. Brown, muddy water spraying into his face. And a hand, clinging to his own, the hand of his brother, trapped in the current, squeezing tight, hanging on for dear life... And an arrow, sleek and glistening with rain water, reflecting a flash of lightning in its deadly tip.
"Ander! For gods' sakes! Ander!!"
He came back to earth with a stuttering lurch. The hand clutching his wrist wasn't Banno's but Kiana's. She was screaming at him with tears in her eyes. And the arrow in his other hand wasn't an arrow at all, but a ram's horn, long and curved, spiralling in on itself.
"Blow the horn, Ander!" she screamed. "Blow the damn thing!"
Kill a thousand Wolves if I do this I'll kill a thousand Wolves why did it have to come to this why!?
The horn was hollow, but it seemed to weigh more than the entire mountain. The glow from the torches cast crescent shadows in every ridge and valley spiralling along its curves.
"No, Ander! Don't!" Hezzi grabbed hold of his other arm, tugging frantically. "Mother's down there!"
She was. All around her was chaos, but she was simply walking straight ahead, heedless of the Wolves rushing by on either side, making her bone charms rattle in the wind. She was like a rock jutting out of the water, splitting the river in two. Her dead, empty eyes were fixed on the wall, perhaps on Hezzi himself, intent on getting her family back no matter the cost.
"What are you waiting for!?" Sorrin's voice boomed over the noise. "Bury that child-murdering son of a bitch!"
They had already covered half the distance to the wall in only a few short seconds. Banno was right at the front, lurching along at a surprisingly fast pace, his crimson mouth wide open and roaring, blood flowing down his chin.
Oh, Ander, I wish I could explain it to you. The sounds she made when I bit into her. The way she tasted. The way I could feel her heartbeat in my mouth, slower and slower...
Ander began to lift the horn to his lips with shaking hands. That's when Hezzi reached up, wrapped his fingers around Ander's wrist, and pulled it back down, so they were looking each other face to face. The torchlight danced in his little brother's eyes, gold trapped in silver.
"Don't do this, Ander!" he begged. "Please!"
I don't want to do this Hezzi but I have to don't you understand I have to I don't have a choice anymore!
"Ander, no!" Renna hugged him around the middle, grinding her hot, tear-streaked face against his side. "Please don't kill my mother!"
Sorrin grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back with one hard pull. "Do it, Ander!" he bellowed, all while Renna clawed at his fingers, kicking and screaming and crying. "Do it NOW!"
"Let go of her!" Hezzi yelled, and suddenly his grip was gone. He could lift the horn. He could... he could end it all.
He could end it right now.
He could.
But I can't!
The horn stayed exactly where it was, with the mouthpiece hovering halfway to his lips. It was shaking.
"Dammit what are you doing!?" Sorrin thundered. Hezzi tried to pry his fingers out of Renna's hair and he shoved the kid aside. "Just blow the damn thing!"
"No!" Mellah slapped her mate's hands aside. "It will kill Renna!"
"_Banno_will kill Renna!" Sorrin shouted into her face. "Just like he killed our Vallah! Have you forgotten that!?"
Mellah hugged Renna tight and sank down to her knees, crying against the little girl's cheek.
What do I do?
The wall was shaking. He could feel the vibrations traveling up his legs. Little pieces of frost and snow were sliding off the sharpened posts.
What do I do!?
"Ander!" Nilia stepped forward. Even with outright panic blooming all around her, she seemed perfectly calm. "If you do not blow that horn, then everyone on this wall will die. Everyone in the valley will die. That is all there is to it. That is all you need to think on."
She said that like it was so easy. To just ignore half of who he was and where he came from. Maybe she could cut off her old life like a gangrenous limb, but he could not!
Shekka may be a cold, merciless she-wolf, but she was also Hezzi's mother -
Mine, too. Not by blood, but
(Your blood is a lie.)
she was always there.
- and he loved her with all his heart! And, judging by the way she begged him to climb down from this wall, she loved him, too! How could he ever look Hezzi in the eye again if he buried their own mother under a ton of rocks and snow!? How could he ever see anything reflected back in those silvery grey eyes apart from hatred and resentment!? And how could Hezzi ever look at him without seeing a murderer!?
And Aisa. She may be violent and heartless, but look at her now! He had no idea what could have happened to change her so drastically, but she was standing tall against a rampaging horde of Wolves without even the protection of a flimsy wall, all to protect her daughter! How would Renna look at him if he ended her mother's life before her very eyes? He didn't think he'd see anger or bitter hatred. Only a deep, unreachable sadness, like the sun obscured by clouds that would never, ever clear again.
"Ander!" Mateo had rested his crossbow in the crook between two of the posts, and was peering through the sight with one of his eyes squinted shut. "I don't mean to rush you, or anything, but we're running out of time!"
He was right. He was more than right. Ander could actually see the whites of their eyes, the flecks of snow caught in their fur, the sheen on their blades, all rushing towards him like an unstoppable wave.
But there were children down there! Screaming and crying, being shoved and jostled from side to side, crawling through the snow with blood pouring down their foreheads, children trying to get back up, children being trampled underfoot!
Children!
Time was up. He had to choose, and he had to choose right now.
Ander, or Andrew?
Wolf, or Fox?
Murderer, or murderer? Killer, or killer? Monster, or monst -
"er! Ander!! You have to do it, Ander! You have to!" Kiana was pulling on his arm, looking up at him with tears streaming from her eyes. She took a deep breath, stood up on her toes, and yelled as loud as she could: "You have to do it for our baby!"
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