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Chapter 4--Waiting

Why hadn't he woken up yet?

Irritably, Thomas checked his phone once more, just to see how much time had passed. It was nearly three, despite the heavy weight of exhaustion starting to wash over him, he found himself unable to compose his mind to sleep like his friends who had dozed off in the chairs in which they sat. In the back of his mind, Thomas was grateful that the doctors had permitted them to stay, though only until Damien's family arrived.

Yet Thomas was restlessly uneasy. Why hadn't Damien woken up yet? Surely, by now, the anesthetic would've worn off... Wasn't he supposed to have woken up by now? And this waiting... Fuck this! He couldn't stand this. It was painful to have to wait, irritating to be powerless, so annoying to just--

Finally at his breaking point, Thomas huffed and stalked out, taking care to be as quiet as he could, despite the sound of the heavy door closing behind him. He had barely walked a few inches before he heard that same door once more. Ozzy stepped out, stifling a lazy yawn as he joined his friend in the brightly lit hallway.

"It's like the worst kind of déjà vu, ain't it?" Ozzy said in a broken, strained voice, saturated with his own tiredness.

"Don't start, Oswald," Thomas snapped back. "I'm not in the mood."

"I'm not starting anything," Ozzy remarked. "Just wanted to talk. I know better than anyone in that room what's going through your mind right now, Tommy."

"Like fuck you do."

"Thomas--"

"No! You can't possibly understand how this feels! I was right there! Right there and--"

"Don't yell at me!" Ozzy countered, just barely managing to stop himself from shouting as well. "And who the fuck do you think you are?! I was there too! I heard the exact same shit, the exact same shot, and saw the exact same shit too."

They were both breathing heavily, each one fighting the urge to shout and each one desiring to be heard. Ozzy took a single deep breath before continuing. Somehow the action seemed to relax Thomas, who waited patiently for Ozzy to speak once more. Ozzy glanced through the small window in the door before returning his attention to the matter at hand.

"Listen, I know what's going on in your head. I can't say that I know exactly what it felt like last time or even this time. Hell, I was trashed when we brought him here. But I do know what you're thinking about."

Thomas looked away, hurriedly wiping away a tear that formed in his golden eye. "I don't get, Ozzy. Why does this have to happen again?"

"It's not happening again. He's okay. Just resting. He's still breathing, he's still alive."

"But if--"

"Stop. Don't think about what could've happened. He survived, we're okay and the world's still in one really fucked up piece."

Thomas nodded numbly. "I hate feeling like this... Like I can't do anything. All I can do is just sit and wait and hope and it's so fucking..." He trailed off as more tears came. He leaned against the wall and sank down, ignoring the discomfort as he sat on his own tail. Ozzy joined him against the wall. "I just don't get why... Why does this have to happen again?"

"Because the world's not perfect," Ozzy answered. "Never has been. Someone's always getting hurt somewhere and it just happened to be Damien this time."

"But the pup... He doesn't deserve this," Thomas remarked.

"No one does. But it happens."

"Doesn't make it right."

"Nope."

They were silent for a moment.

"Tommy, right now, there's nothing we can do--"

"I know."

"Let me finish. There's nothing we can do but wait. But the best thing for us to do right now is to be in that room when Damien wakes up," Ozzy explained. "Someone needs to be. If not us, then his family, but I feel like he should see either us or his family first, not some doctor in a lab coat."

Thomas nodded. "I get it."

"...Ready to go back in?"

Thomas nodded again and stood. They walked back towards the door, but Thomas hesitated before opening it. "I don't think I can face this like this. I'm a wreck. All I can think about is... All I hear and all I'm seeing and--"

"Hey, hey," Ozzy said, hurriedly pulling Thomas away from the door. "Focus on me, buddy. Stick with me. We'll get through this. He's already been through the worst and the doctors took care of the hard part. We just have to sit down and be patient."

"But... He..."

"You're thinking about it too much," Ozzy said. "Just try to think happy."

"Easy for you to say. You can't stop and think at all, can you?" Thomas joked lightheartedly.

"Don't be hurtful, kitty," Ozzy said playfully. "But if you need it, I could help you relax." The mood changed palpably and Thomas's eyes narrowed. Ozzy chortled slightly. "I remember when you used to call me your 'Energizer Bunny'." Ozzy stepped closer to Thomas, his paw on the muscular chest of the panther who tensed at the touch, suppressing a shiver of excitement that started to work through him.

"That's not funny, Oswald," Thomas snarled, pushing him away, "especially after what just happened."

"Just putting it out there. Figured it might--"

"Don't push it, rabbit," Thomas warned.

"Why? You enjoyed it."

"It was a mistake," Thomas insisted, "and I don't make the same mistake twice." He glanced back at the door. "Usually."

Sensing the mood shift once more, Ozzy's tone changed from playful to serious. "You couldn't have done anything to save Theo. It wasn't your fault then and it isn't now... Do you want to go back inside?"

"I don't know if... Every time I look at him like that, I think about Theo... I don't know if I can face that again."

Ozzy exhaled sharply. "If you need to, go back to the dorm. Go for a walk. I'll even give you my key and you can sleep in my dorm and I'll call you the moment he wakes up. But you need to make a decision. Either be here for Damien or you can go hide."

"I'm not a coward."

"Never said you were."

There was another pause in their conversation and Thomas sighed heavily. "The doctor said there was a break room on this floor right, with a vending machine?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm going to get something to drink... maybe a snack. You want something too?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Ozzy reached out, touching Thomas's shoulder. "Look, it'll be okay. Trust me."

"Whenever someone says that, shit goes wrong."

"But you trust me anyway."

Brushing Ozzy's paw off, Thomas said with a chuckle, "Yeah, I do." He started to walk down the hall and turned a corner, out of sight.

"Who's Theo?" asked an interested, intrigued voice.

Surprised, Ozzy jumped slightly. Standing in the open doorway, leaning against the frame, was Torrie and Ozzy found her expression entirely unreadable. Somehow, that made him more nervous, but he spoke in a calm, collected voice.

"If he didn't tell you, then I won't. It isn't my story to tell."

"Ozzy, I have a right to know what's bugging my boyfriend."

"And he has a right to secrecy, just like you keep your secrets," Ozzy retorted confidently, "and I just like I keep mine. Besides, even if I did tell you, there'd be holes in the plot you could drive a truck through. If it really matters that much to you, ask Tommy."

"Fine," she huffed. She started to push past him, but Ozzy quickly grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. "Let go."

"Don't ask him now. Let him calm down and let him get over this on his own time," Ozzy said. "I know him better than you"--she was growling now--"and I know when it's best to talk to him. Right now is one of the worst times."

She considered his words, hating his logic and his perception. She wrenched her arm free and flipped her bangs in a forced display of calm, though Ozzy saw the anger play across her face rapidly. "Fine. I'll just wait for him to come back then."

She walked back into the room and Ozzy followed, silently how Thomas could've kept something so important so secret...

---

In the staff break room, Thomas quickly walked up to a vending machine and stopped as he peered through the glass. He could saw something that caught his eye--lemon soda... Perhaps he'd give it another try. He remembered the last time he'd seen a bottle of it, the first time he'd gagged at the taste and the last person he saw drinking it...