FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

No one ever understood that I try to be strong. I do whatever it takes to make them happy, but what they want from me is not possible. I do not have any power and I am not strong. Many cannot understand that I am simply a mistake and I do not know who I can help. Almost everyone only manages to see my power and nothing about my size or demeanor. I am not violent nor am I skilled at combat, but I have tried many times for my masters. Not one has declared me worth while enough to continue being a member of there lives. It matters little, as long as no one wants me, then I will not have to fight anymore. No one can hurt me if I do not belong to anyone and I am not part of any chosen conflicts. Though in truth I always wondered what it felt like to make your owner proud... I always wondered what it would be like if I could win for my owner and make he or she happy to have chosen me! That thought alone forced me to blink away tears, as I watched the doors open and people began flooding in with the morning light. Quickly rushing to the back of my enclosure I tried to hide behind the fake tree and pretend I didn't exist. This pitiful cage had insulting walls, that were painted to look like far stretching hills and a mocking, fake tree. The floor was made of false grass, which was more irritating than it was comforting. I was separated from the outside by a chain link fence, half of which was a door. Within the wall was a slide out toilet, bed, and a small screen I could talk to someone through. Never have I used it... Beyond these amenities were two tubes that dispensed food, a few times a day, and water, whenever I needed. Usually it misses the bowl and drops the food all over the floor...

"Holy shit! 7500 power level! Such a tiny dog though..." The boy seemed immediately disappointed, which was understandable. "What kind of powers you got lil fellah?" The young boy asked eagerly awaitng my response, which I did not give.

He soon left like all the others, desperate to get another partner who can actually help him. Having the strongest power level in a kennel is one thing... but I have never met anyone with a higher power level than I. An old friend of mine only had thirteen power, but he was both telepathic and pyrokinetic. Sadly I have absolutely no powers, no higher strength, no remarkable agility, no mental capacity of greater proportion, nothing. I am literally just an animal and not one master I have had, has wanted to keep me. It is all about fights and skills... I can't do that! No one has ever just wanted to get to know me... Or try to understand why I have so much power, but nothing to show for it. Instead I am used and cast aside when I become worthless, which is very soon most times. Another person approached my cage, this time an older woman and I just wanted to disappear.

?"Well aren't you precious. Would you protect ol' granny?" Her frail shaky voice was still very friendly, but I simply looked away from her and sighed.

"Any other animal will be better for you ma'am..." I called up from the back of my cage. "Please find someone else." I finished feeling a heavy weight of sadness crush on me.

"Why little fellah? You afraid of fighting?" She asked and I growled furiously turning toward her for a second, but then just sighed.

I am not afraid! Never before have I fled from a fight! I have just never been able to win... Even when I was put in practice matches, that they assured me I would win... I failed them. Each battle I have been in, takes a little more of my confidence away to the point I now avoid conflict altogether. Watching the people walk around with there pets proudly displayed in various ways made me wish more than ever that I was important. That someone wanted me just because I am a good dog and not because I can fight. Many times in my life I have tried to unlock the mystery of my power and why I have none, but after dozens of trainers and specialists I was still abandoned. I fear no one would ever feel the way I do though. With so much fame and fortune on the line, getting the right pets is crucial for any tamer.

"Heya!" A sharp voice called into my cage with a certain intrigue.

"Look, I have no powers, I cannot fight, and I have no idea why my power level is so high." Turning around I was greeted with a very odd looking human.

This guy was quite bizarre looking to be honest. Humans all dress differently, but this guy was something else. His hair was like a porcupine, and the tips of each needle were dyed a brilliant green. No I'm not color blind! His face was thin and his chin well defined, but the youthful aqua colored eyes were his most striking feature. The man wore a white t-shirt with a black vest, which had neon green trim to match his hair. His baggy pants held both hands, as well as a few symbols for cities he has been to and won in. Around his neck was a crazy amount of chains, each one a little different than the others. He wore a anilyzer cuff, but he had decorated it to look like it had barbed wire on it. His other wrist held a multitude of color rubbery bracelets. Though young in action, he was probably in his late twenties. The five o clock shadow gave it away, though his soul patch was well trimmed. Overall he sort of looked like he belonged in a punk band... Man I love music! Human music is so unique! All we dogs get to do is howl...

"Alright well what if I just wanted a buddy? Hmmm?" He used heavy sarcasm, which told me he wasn't serious. "Or a figure head?" This was said in a "to prove a point" tone.

?"Right, like you want a dumb dog as your figure head..." Turning away from the silly looking fool, I hoped he would catch the hint and leave.

?"Wanna meet my team?" He asked undetered and friendly.

?"Not particularly..." I sighed turning back to him. "I don't think you under-." He cut me off.

?"Ok I understand! Wanna be buddies?" He asked trying the door to my cage.

"Don't you get it? I have absolutely no powers! Zilch, zero, nada, nothing!" Standing up I snapped at the skinny guy and waved a paw angrily. "What could you possibly need me for?"

?"Well you're cute! Bet chicks will be all over you!" He pointed two pistol fingers my way and I chuckled without consent.

"Don't you want to be a certified champion? You have to win ya know..." Trailing off he laughed heartily.

"Check it!" He pulled his shirt down to reveal three keys hanging from a necklace! "Already on my way!" He laughed once more.??

"Again, I simply do not understand..." Shaking my head, I folded my arms and looked at the mock grass floor. "Why would you want me if you're already on your way toward certification? I DO NOT HAVE ANY POWERS!" I loudly stated this in a word for word type of way.

"THAT IS FINE! DO NOT WORRY!" He replied the same way, but with less anger and more humor. "What's your name bud?"

A sigh escaped me, as I had been told to use my owner given name... "Meatball..."

?He laughed for a moment then seemed to realize my pain. "Sounds like that wasn't your name originally..." He trailed off leaning his head on the cage.

?"Hex. I was named Hex." It felt nice using my actual name. Would he call me by it?

"Hello Hex my boy, Im Karson!" He squatted to the ground and I approached slowly. "If you wanted we can get you out of that cage! Whadda ya say?" He may seem happy, but he will eventually be rid of me.

?"No, you have to choose a good figure head. I don't want to be your last resort in a fight..." Turning away, I bowed my head, expecting him to leave.

?"Trust me pup, you will never have to fight again!" Karson said causing my ears to perk up and I spun around wide eyed.

?He let out a small laugh as I stared into his eyes intently. Did he really mean that? Will I never be humiliated and harmed again? What if he desperately needs to win, will I not be used? Would this man forfeit a victory simply because I am unable to help? Karson smiled a lot as he stared at me then spoke brightly.

?"Ya look cute with your ears up!" As he said this I lowered them to the side of my head, where they normally rest. "Wanna meet the guys?" He asked holding his amulet toward me.

?"NO! NO PLEASE!" Tumbling over myself I desperately avoided the talisman. "Please I hate being in the dark! Please no..." My whimpers were pathetic and I hate myself for them.??

"Relax, hey! Shh, shh, shh..." His consoling voice was pointless actually... "If you don't wanna go in, that's fine!" Karson's assurance was enough to calm me down however. "Does it scare you being in there?" He asked innocently.??

"No! I just... I hate the idea of being trapped." My reply wasn't shameful, but I still hated myself for opening up to a human. "There is no way for me to be free, unless I am let out..."

"Mine makes noises and lights up! I would see that you wanted to get out!" He nodded eagerly. "Not that I am trying to force you! I just wanted you to know you would be safe."

?"Why do you care so much?" I asked frankly. "If all you want is-." He cut me off again.

"Do you want the honest to goodness truth?" Karson waved a hand as he asked this.

"Of course!" My reply was sharp for my patience was running thin.

"You would look so cool right here!" He tapped the top of his pendant above where the charms hung.

Again he made me laugh without my choice. "I don't know what to say to that."

"Maybe... yes..." He trailed off with a big smirk.

?A small sigh of frustration escaped me, as I was now torn between the safety of my cage and going back out into the world. Karson was incredibly excited with me and he hung on my every action. What do I say though? If I say yes, then I am subject to the horror's that I have desperately tried to avoid. No, would mean... this. This one place forever, until I die. That thought scared me so greatly I felt myself begin shaking. What a horrible grave... I do not wish to die here! I refuse to have my life end and simply be discarded like trash. Tears slowly welled up in my eyes and I turned away to avoid him seeing my sorrow. Perhaps trying once more wont hurt as bad as I predict...

"Hey no rush bud! Take a day think it over." Karson waved a hand as he turned to leave.

?"Wait!" I called for him rushing to the cage door.

?He turned back and his face tightened with confusion. "Sup pup?"

"Will you... you're really serious? I won't have to fight?" My voice strained under the weight of my emotions.

?"Promise!" He lifted a hand to his heart. "I may ask, but if you don't want to, I will never force you." A confident nod followed this.

That is just insane! What kind of strategy is that? What the hell good is keeping around a pet who cannot help in battle? This must be a trick... So many times I have been adopted, purchased, or traded only to be a punching bag. A few have even thought killing me would give another animal my power! A shiver ran up my spine as the memories came flooding back... Being strangled, crushed, or beaten within an inch of my life has left permanent wounds on my confidence, my hide, my pride, and my heart. That is all this human wants... For his other animals to practice on and defeat countless times. He may even have my death plotted and prepared, who knows?

?"Forget it..." I replied with a small sigh. "I... I just can't..." Was all that I managed to say.

?"Well I'm gonna be in town a few days. How about I check in tomorrow? See how things are going for ya." Karson offered, but I was apprehensive to trust any human...

"Whatever you want..." My response was nothing short of mean, but he didn't seem to care.

?"Alright then, great! I will see ya tomorrow. Ya want something? I can bring ya a snack or a treat if you want?" His offer felt patronizing and so I simply waved him away. "Well... see ya buddy!" Karson replied and then was gone.

Being alone now was both enjoyable and moderately disturbing. It felt wrong to want to go with a human, but I desperately longed for a friend... Maybe Karson is telling the truth? Are his pets nice? Will they accept me? Is there any point in trying to guess? If Karson does show up tomorrow, what do I do? Should I go with him and act accordingly? What if he asks for me to fight? Do I really get to say no? Contemplation is all I can really do at this point... Karson may never come back and then where am I? Still stuck in this foul place with nothing to show, but my shame. The creeping thought of dying here struck me again, like a ton of bricks.

My nightmares were specifically terrible that night. These night terrors I am plagued with occasionally are more like memories. Flash backs to times where I was helpless... Moments where I thought death was reaching for me... Awaking with a howl of terror, I found myself fighting to remove phantom jaws from my throat. A guard checked on me and offered me some medication, but I denied it... They simply want to shut me up. I have taken these chemicals before and they do nothing, but make me complacent. Staying awake didn't feel that bad, since being asleep tomorrow, during the day, meant avoiding people. Karson isn't going to come back, I know it. I don't want to deal with these people... I will just try to forget all of this, like I try to forget my past.