FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 5

She was in her room, she always liked to be in her room. It was here where smells were friendly and always the same, it was here where people didn't shout at her because of something that her young mind wasn't ready to understand. In this place people didn't call her by using stupid names, she didn't like when they did that, even when she didn't understand what they meant. She only knew that they were nasty names, bad names, she knew that, she could hear that funny shaking in their voice when they called her by names.

They laughed and shouted when they called her names, names that were made of words...Nasties! Names were made of nasties! She recognized some nasties, father always told her that a pretty, nice girl like her should never use nasties.

Listening to nasties always made her cry and angry. It always reminded her of the shaking in the voice and her other names.

Luckily there were toys that helped forget about nasties and they were in her room! It was sad however that her room didn't have people that made her laugh, were friendly and played with her often like mother and father.

I desire respect for my children.

Don't...

He was in his room, he never liked to be in his room, it was always boring here. Toys were fun, but they were becoming boring really fast. All of his friends were outside, it was there where all the fun was, among friends.

Friends that made him laugh, laughed when he made them laugh, friends that made him smile, smiled when he made them smile, friends that made him understand, understood when he made them understand.

Room meant boredom and loneliness, parents were the only power that made him stay. Mother and father understood him, loved him. And he loved his mother and father. Being with mother and father meant being safe, it meant being...

Home.

Her room was big and pretty and colorful and, and fabulous! Fabulous was her favorite word, it always made her giggle! The walls of her room are black, stony and cold, but that didn't bother her at all. Her room was filled with torches, lamps and many other strange devices giving light.

It was so bright here, mother always walked around her room, waking up every friendly flame. She helped her mother doing those chores. She always enjoyed listening to her talk, her whining, when she sometimes complained that it's just too bright here. Almost like living inside the sun she always said! She liked living in the sun.

I desire peace for my children.

No...

His room was small, he liked it that way, it meant there was nothing to do here and even if there was, it always ended quickly. There were only two windows in his room, through which he sometimes observed the roads, people and houses. Through the glass he saw like everything was moving outside.

People, his friends and strangers, many waved at him, he always waved back. Road moved too, a little bit of dust flew here, a little bit of fallen leaves flew there. Houses moved too, shadows crossed the hallways, rooms brightened up or darkened. Everything and everyone was...

Alive.

Her room has one, big, fluffy, red carpet, she loves to roll around in it! Feel the slightly stiff strands of fur sticking out like toothpicks she liked to fill her mouth with. Those strands always, in that funny way sting and tickle her scales.

Father always kept telling some awful stories when he caught her playing on the carpet. He kept saying how he hunted some beasts, grabbed their fur and sew their hides into the carpet she so likes to play in.

Whenever he told those stories he chuckled and smiled, while she, whining and groaning, tried to drill her head into the fur, throwing it from side to side, letting wings and tail flap and roll around wildly.

He laughed, but she simply felt that there was nothing nasty behind his chuckles. It was called teasing, she learned the word from mother. Many times she heard her screaming at him to stop teasing her, mother was whining and groaning like she was, while father laughed and chuckled exactly the same way when he was telling one of his nasty stories. This was father's way of showing his care.

I desire true love for my children.

Don't...

His room has only one thing that keeps boredom away for a little while longer. It was a game, a wooden, rectangular stand, filled in the middle with even more rectangles that were brownish and yellowish by turns.

Chess, that's how father called this game. He explained the rules, more than once, but he never could remember them. Whenever he played, whether alone or with friends, he, or them, always kept on making new rules.

Figurines that you moved around had also rules, father also explained that to him, he also couldn't remember them. Every new game used different figurines, not essentially of the same color, every new game figurines had different special powers.

He kept forgetting about them eventually, what he always remembered was the taste of the figurines. Whenever he bit on them he groaned and wiggled his teeth around, until he finally bit off a piece and started chewing on it. They had a funny taste, like wood and lime sweets. He always liked it.

He always threw up after eating a few, but he still liked them. Especially the more bigger and fancy ones. Only when father finally caught him on eating another set of figurines that he recently bought, after the last one mysteriously disappeared, he learned that they were not made of sweets.

They were dipped in some sort of mixture that supposedly makes the figurines more shiny and durable. He didn't understand what it all meant. He still liked them.

The wooden figurines disappeared from the rectangular stand after his last throw up session, replaced by metallic ones.

He didn't like those, they smelled bad and his teeth hurt when he tried to bit into one. He cried and blamed father for hurting him so much. He shrugged him off, saying that a boy has to grow out of some things, eating chess pieces is one such thing. This is...

Childhood.

Her room was in the highest tower of the castle, beating all those stairs to get up here was a pain, but as mother and father said, every child needs a sense of duty, do chores that they didn't specially like. That and because having a room so high is for her own good.

She didn't understand what sense of duty is and what has beating hundreds of stupid stairs has is for her own good. She likes her room however, so she did her chores daily, sometimes even more than five times. And she loved every moment whenever she got to her room.

Her absolutely favorite, fabulous! spot was the balcony. A big one, mother never allowed her to climb on the rails, so she never did. It was still amazing, from here everything could be seen, even the shady form of a city that is two days of walking away from here.

The view stretched far and wide and she loved observing the shrinking world, but what she loved more was the wind. She fell in love with it the very moment she stepped on the balcony, the wind greeted her with such a strong gust that it nearly tore her head off, forcing her back into the room.

She never closed the door however, small head curiously peeking through the doorstep while the wind howled outside. She stopped fearing it then, while listening to it, realizing that the wind was just yelling so loudly because it was happy to see her. She believed it and started to love the wind and Wind started to love her.

She laughed that their made a baby to appear, she called it Happy. Happy yelled whenever mother or father were with her on the balcony. They always picked her up by her shoulders, sliding their hands down her belly, before getting a good grip on her flanks.

It always tickled so she laughed, laughed even more when they extended their arms above their heads and pushed her up, holding her tight while she extended her wings. Flapping them, feeling the wind lifting her by the membranes, feeling as if she was flying. It was then when mother or father started to laugh together with her. It was fabulous.

I desire time for my children.

Believe...

His room has one awesome thing, door to their small garden, it was there where he spent most of his time, of course if the weather allowed, when he was home. It was like the natural terrain between boredom inside the house and the inability to play with his friends.

Gardens of draconic families were bigger than those of cheetahs, he didn't really understand why they were only slightly bigger. The garden felt too small for him already, he only could imagine how tiny it felt for his big parents. It was strange that they never complained.

Inside his natural ground was a natural ground for his two armies. Twigs versus Whatever He Could Find That Is Not A Twig. Twigs were more powerful, they had big leaders. Whatevers He Could Find That Is Not A Twig however had numbers. Mother and father never allowed to bring some really heavy and big things in the garden, small but plenty was the only way to balance things.

Here there were no rules, the warriors moved wherever he wanted them to move. They fought with whoever he wanted them to fight, even the big wooden sticks. He was happy here, here he could do whatever he wants to do and there was no one who told him that it was wrong or bad, corrected and convinced to do differently. Here was...

Freedom.

She always loved listening to her mother talk, she didn't really knew why. Her room had also that one, small spot in the corner, a locker of sorts where mother and father hid all the stuff she broke or what they considered to be too dangerous for her to play with. In that room they always squeezed together and talked and she always listened, standing next to the door, only a short leap away from the fluffy carpet, listening to their conversation and especially her mother's warm voice. Like now.

"If it was up to me I would clean after her for the next thirty years"

A box rattled on the shelf, muffling the sound of their conversation.

"...best of it" her father had a...dirty and raspy voice, she didn't knew any other words to describe it. He talked slowly, he told her that he sounds like that because he yelled too much when he was working

Whenever he talked with mother, or her, his voice was...itchy just like his fur whenever he hugged her.

"This is all I can offer"

Something plastic fell on the floor with a little thudding sound. She nearly yelled when a ball bounced out of the room, her mind momentarily imagined one of her parents heading after the toy, picking it up and catching her eavesdropping. She would be in a lot of trouble, she knew that and yet she couldn't move, she felt like something tied around her legs.

There was a moment of near silence, only the delicate rusting of clothes was heard.

"I could not ask for more. I have a daughter and a mate that I love dearly. My life is complete"

She lowered her head and impulsively began rubbing her small chest, her heart stung for an unknown reason.

Something slammed into a shelf, or more likely fell on it, like her head sometimes over a book.

"Not being able to see grey strands on your fur is hardly called completion"

"Hush now" her mother hissed in that special shushing way, it always made her shiver

"This is our story. Shorter than other stories out there, but who said books have to be long to be touching. When I read ours, a thrill runs over me on every page"

An uncontrollable quake ran through her whole hatchling frame, small claws curled into hooks, squeezed by a sudden freezing touch that drained blood from her paw toes. She scratched the floor, the only thing that saved her from being discovered was the ongoing conversation between her parents that muffled the sound of her paralyzed claws.

She became cold all of a sudden, in irritation she looked behind her shoulder, at the opened door that lead to the balcony. The gusts of wind that got into her room were always nice, but this time, somehow, they felt cold.

A snarl wrinkled her young snout, she wanted to close those nasty door, she really wanted to do that. Yet she couldn't move, stuck in place by a feeling very similar to that when her parents told her to go to bed while she was being lost in her own world, game, that hang on balance and everything was about to be resolved in this very moment, late at night.

Some sort of exciting culmination, that if ignored would be gone forever. Culmination that will be missed dearly, never to be repeated again.

She wiped her eyes impulsively, not really surprised to feel tears in their corners.

Some sort of shuffling could be heard from inside the special locker room.

"This is why I fell in love with you Marin. You have eloquence, grace and love for both me and Cynder that is unmeasured in any way. You fill the blanks of my existence"

There was a short pause, during which she imagined her mother smiling.

"This is why I fell in love with you Gaul. You have a wonderful daughter that I can call my own, with a daughter I always enjoyed spending time with and the strength to make both mine and Cynder's lives happy during this difficult moment"

She no longer heard her parents talking after those words. There was silence at first and then moments later she heard a sound that made her shiver in disgust.

They were kissing. She was sure of it.

She got quite familiar with the sound, as well as the sight, but that didn't make things any better. It made things worse, when she was just a tiny hatchling, not the big and smart girl she is now, she didn't understand it and couldn't really make much sense from the sounds and all that.

Disgust came later.

Now, being big and smart, she couldn't understand how they could press their moist lips together, you do all sort of stuff with them. Feeling what the other one ate, or feel his breath, not to mention all other gross things, was just nasty!

Every scale on her body was shuddering, just thinking about it left an ugly taste on her tongue. She was quite certain that every part of her body ordered her to run.

She remained still.

In this moment of stillness she realized that she was actually moving. Her head went down, green, youthful, shining eyes widened when they noticed that her legs were alive. For this long, confusing second she could swear that her legs no longer were part of the same body.

Instead of moving backwards, she pressed forward, towards the opened door. She knew what she will see there, she knew that she will get caught, she knew she won't be able to hold back her snarl of disgust.

She wanted to turn back, she was sure of it.

Not as sure as of her sudden craving to look at them however.

She craned her neck forward instantly when she reached the edge of the door.

They were there as she expected, wearing their home clothes as she liked to call them. Dad, typical boring, grey, brown or whatever other dark colored pants and shirt. Mom always wore, bright and colorful stuff, with all sorts of different illustrations. Silly ones like flowers or dolls.

Seeing her mother walking around in such clothes always made her smile.

Mother was pressing against Dad's chest, her funny shirt crunched itself against father's chest. Her round, rather big orbs, that mother called breasts and which she liked very much, swearing to everyone that she will grow a pair of those too, were squeezed gently against her father like a pair of soft pillows.

They were completely different from each other, she didn't knew why she thought about it. Father's fur was rough, in places he had scars so big that you could only feel swollen skin, like somebody would burn holes in his body. His face was also covered in scars, nose long and red. He was missing a few teeth and an eye, a shinning green jewel was now in the socket.

Mother however was his complete opposite, fur soft like a blanket, not long, but nicely trimmed and groomed. If she had any wounds she perfectly masked then . The nose, the most characteristic thing of her parents, was smaller, shy even, gently orange with a ring in the left nostril.

Even their fur represented them, father's bluish one, tattered and boring as his clothes, while mother was a mix of white and bright yellow.

Beauty and the beast.

Father was holding Mother gently by the hips, while she had both hands on his back.

She didn't knew why, but this thought and sight made her belly feel funny and warm. Not in the bad way like when she would be about to throw up.

Her sparkling eyes finally focused on the most important detail. All that strange thoughts and hard to control urges vanished, like they were never there. Wrinkles of horror and disgust tightened and stretched her young snout.

They were kissing, just thinking about Dad's favorite drink, the stinky beer, was enough to turn her stomach around. Seeing his lips touching her mom's, not to mention that their breaths also played a role, was enough to make her belly feel funny and warm.

In the wrong way.

"Ewwww!" the sound of her gutted opinion blurt out from her throat like an uncontrollable burp

Mother's mouth stretched wider, lips still pressed to Dad's ones. A pretty, muffled giggle burst from her throat.

"Naughty girl" Mother said softly, lips spread into a smile as she broke from the kiss, brown eyes sparkled magically

"This is so gross! Eww! Eww! Eww!"

Mother gracefully slid from Father's caring embrace, he was too looking in her direction with a smile that turned his lips into a thin line.

"Maybe I should kiss you too for being the curious little girl you are" her mother bent on her legs, pushing her hands forward, fingers curled into claws, looking like a predator that is about to jump on her prey

She jumped back with eyes shooting wide open. She landed on stiff legs, paws placed on the floor in a comical, crosswise fashion, forming an X pattern. Like her legs couldn't decide which way to run.

"You wouldn't!" she protested, shaking her head so fiercely that she heard her brain bouncing off the walls of her skull

"Come here!" Mother growled and leapt in her direction

"Eek!"

I desire family for my children.

Live...

Spending time outdoors was great and awesome, pranks and hanging out made days exciting. He was sure he could spend on playing like that every single day. There was something else however that made those days of fun cool, something he was embarrassed to mention around his friends, something that he wasn't entirely aware of.

He was coming back home, home where his parents were waiting for him.

No matter how many times he boasted around his friends just how very mature and big he is. That nobody had any control over him, listened to what he has to say, basically he could do whatever he wants. The feeling of strange, unexplained happiness and completion always returned whenever he was returning home.

As much as he enjoyed the presence of his parents it couldn't be compared to the moment where they sat to the table and ate dinner.

As well as it couldn't be compared to watching his mother cooking or letting his father bathe him before dinner.

In fact, when he opened the door to his home after a whole busy day he always came to a single realization. All those things are equally awesome.

He liked to watch his mother cook, she didn't allow anyone inside when she was preparing the meals, always saying that it ruins her concentration and especially the surprise. She loved cooking, to the point that every dinner was different from the last one.

He didn't mind, he liked observing her from the distance. She was sitting on her haunches in front of many cupboards, lockers or whatever, it didn't matter to him. What he liked about the image was his mother.

She was brightly green, colored exactly like his scales. He always compared his scales to a grass illuminated by light, while Father said that his mother's scales were like his own dark ones, with the exception that it seemed like someone filled his mother with lanterns from the inside, that is why she glows so brightly.

Imagining Mother as a walking lamp always made him laugh. A laugh that turned nearly hysterical when he remembered that his mother was entirely green, not having scales of different colors like dark grey ones he and Father had.

Her green scales were darker and brighter, dark ones were still brighter than theirs. A walking lamp.

She was small for an adult dragoness, especially a Earth wielding one. Every part of her body seemed to exactly match with whatever else they were connected with. Green wings were neatly folded on her back, the hollow bones that held the membranes didn't even stand out from her figure, they ended exactly in perfect line with her frame.

Which was strange, from what he observed dragons had bigger wings than their bodies. He never tried to resolve this mystery since his mother seemed strange.

Her every limb and muscle seemed like the extension of the previous one, there were no edges, no sudden change, creating a wrinkle there or a small indentation there. Like puzzles perfectly fitting together. You could perfectly see where one limb ended and the other began, especially if you looked at her hind or front legs, every curve separating limb from limb, a body part from a body part, was easily seen.

He wasn't the only one who noticed. For as long as he could remember, whenever he walked with his mother, he watched people of both sexes following her every move.

He couldn't blame them for that, there was something special in his mother's way of walking. Her whole body seemed to sway to some unheard music, tail dancing to its rhythm. Showing and hiding the curvy muscles of her body that alternately bloated and shrunk, never losing the proportions she was known of.

One day he shared his observations with Father, whose eyes sparkled strangely when he mentioned people turning their eyes to look at Mother. Dad agreed with his observations, not surprised that Mom draws attention, both of her son and complete strangers.

It is because Mom is slender Dad explained. He didn't knew what the word meant.

"Beautiful" Father said one day

He knew what beautiful meant. He had to agree with Dad. Mom was beautiful.

Watching her dancing to an unheard music body was fun, equally fun was watching her work.

She was sitting in a big kitchen, bigger than all the dishes, meals and cupboards, a giant among ants and yet her paws moved without hesitation. She was fast, dexterous the fancy word was, her claws were moving quickly, slicing, picking, preparing. The tools and ingredients she used for cooking were small and yet her oversized claws looked like they grew specifically for this kitchen and all its features.

One evening, at the dinner table he shared his observations with his father, he liked sharing observations with Father, he always complimented his perception or something like that. Nearly all the time agreeing with them.

It wasn't any different during that particular dinner, except that Dad suddenly started to laugh. Agreeing in between laughs that he is correct, his mother is very skilled with her paws and tongue. He didn't knew why it was so funny, neither did Mother, the look she was giving him and the way with which she shook her head reminded him of his boasting friend, provoking others to do the things he could and when they tried and failed, he was giving all of them the same look Mom was giving Dad right now.

He saw the familiar look in her eyes and the eyes of the female friends she invited to the house. After playing with his friends in the garden he went inside to get something to drink, he crossed the room in time to hear Mother talking about Dad. Calling him inappropriate, dirty erotomaniac raconteur.

Her friends laughed, eyes sparkling the same way Mom's did during dinner. All heads shaking slowly.

Once again he didn't understand what was funny about this.

He talked about this with his friends, none understood the joke. They all agreed however that this is a part of...

Growing up.

She was lying on the bed, mouth smacking tiredly, head resting on a furry limb that was the leg of her father sitting crossed leg on the bed next to her. He was gently stroking her head and back.

"Sing me that lullaby Dad" she whispered, voice shutting down, sound that stronger and weaker alternately, tone dictated by her fighting with sleep eyelids

"I thought you hated my singing" Father rasped, hand never stopping petting her

"I want to hear it. Please" her voice was weak, she felt Dad leaning towards her, listening closely

"Nightmares don't want to go away darling?"

She yawned loudly, shaking her head, blurred, nearly closed eyes barely registered the world around her.

Father kissed the nape of her neck.

"Dear daughter..." she shivered feeling Father's warm breath on her neck, his whispery voice, slow, raspy and hoarse, wounded as his scarred body and not suitable for singing, was perfect

Her eyes shut themselves instantly, body became numb. Her slowly shutting itself mind was the only thing that registered what was going on.

"...Hold your head up high There's a world outside That's passing by Dear daughter Never lose yourself Remember that you're like nobody else

Life throws you in to the unknown And you feel like you're out there all alone

These are words That every girl should have a chance to hear There will be love There will be pain There will be hope There will be fear And through it all year after year Stand or fall this memory will be right here For you

Life throws you in to the unknown And you feel like you're out there all alone

These are words That every girl should have a chance to hear There will be love There will be pain There will be hope There will be fear And through it all year after year Stand or fall this memory will be right here For you"

By now she was already on the thin line bordering fading reality and encroaching, numbing tentacles of sweet oblivion of sleep and yet she felt Father shifting his weight, felt his breath on her scales and felt every word leaving his lips. Embedding themselves into her right now non existent senses like a needle of some bush in the flesh you don't feel until you won't touch it accidentally.

"Dear daughter I was just like you And just like me You're gonna make it through"

I desire everything for my children.

Sugar!

He was sitting on his bed, his whole little frame pushed against the big pillow that sometimes was his transportable cushion bed whenever they were somewhere away from the city or he was just to tired to climb into the bed.

He didn't like going to bed, he was doing that only when he was completely exhausted. He was afraid that he will never wake up, or when he finally does, nothing will be the same. Neither he or his parents understood from where the fears came from. They tried to convince him that he heard one too many monster stories.

He was afraid of monsters, he was sure they are hiding in the night, black as the sky. You don't see them until it's too late. That is why a lamp was always lit in the room, darkness won't reach you when you hold on to the light.

No matter how hard it may try.

"Come on sugar, lie down and close your eyes" his mother's soft voice whispered, claw gently scratched his leg

"I don't wanna!" he whined, his small wings tightly pressed themselves against his back

Mother dropped on the bed, coiling her body around him protectively, she delicately tugged at his leg which he constantly jerked away from her touch.

"I will be right with you sweetie"

"It doesn't change anything! Darkness will be still there! All I need is to close my eyes!"

"Yes, it will be there, but sleep is where you are safe"

He shook his head fiercely, body pressed itself harder against the pillow. A feather squeezed itself out through a small hole in the corner.

"Not true!"

"You can trust me sweetie. I'm your mother, I would never lie to you. Lie down and I'll show you"

He yawned loudly, opening his mouth as wide as a snake when devouring a victim twice its size.

"I'm not tired!" he blurt out, eyes blinked lazily

"Hear your heartbeat Beat a frantic pace"

His mother sung, voice gentle and rich like a breeze of wind carrying the singing of birds.

"Stop it Mom!"

"You're feeling the rush of anguish settling You cannot help showing them in"

He felt her claws wrapping themselves around his front legs.

"Nooo..." he yawned, shaking his head slowly, as if it would weigh a ton

"Hurry up then Or you'll fall behind and They will take control of you"

He felt a tug at his front legs, they were being stretched. He tried to wrestle them away from the loving grip but couldn't find the strength to do so.

"No...Mom..." he muttered, voice not louder than a whisper

"And you need to heal the hurt behind your eyes Fickle words crowding your mind"

His belly touched the soft sheets, mouth opened itself to voice another protest, but a dreamy smack was all that it managed to articulate. He opened his eyes, or at least tried to, eyelids seemed to work with a delay. He only took short glimpses of his mother before they closed again, renewing the unfair fight.

"So Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in And carry you over to a new morning

Try as you might You try to give it up Seems to be holding on fast It's paw in your paw A shadow over you A beggar for soul in your snout Still it don't matter if you won't listen If you won't let them follow you You just need to heal Make good all your lies Move on and don't look behind

So Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in And carry you over to a new morning

Day after day Fickle visions messing with your head Fickle, vicious Sleeping in your bed Messing with your head Fickle visions Fickle, vicious

Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in And carry you over to a new morning"

He felt completely nothing and yet he heard every word resounding inside his head. He was safe, colors from which were made of all those flickering images that started to flood his head kept the monstrous darkness at bay. Like the horrors it brought with itself were nothing, like they didn't exist, just like darkness didn't exist.

Here he was safe, even if he knew the truth, this safety was all he needed. He needed a wall to protect himself. Because he knew the truth, it was clear...

Dar-

New morning!

-s...s-

Carry you over to a new morning!

-re

Morning! Now!

-ide...e

WAKE UP!

*

"Wwwwwaaaaakkkkeeee uuuuuuuppppppp"

Cynder opened her eyes and she had to momentarily shield them behind her paw. The light that assaulted her felt like it tried to burn through her eyelids and boil her brain. Not to mention that she had a headache with a ringing echo still rebounding within the walls of her skull like someone would put a bucket over her head when she was sleeping and slammed a hammer against it several times.

She felt like she just got out from a deep, completely black cave in which she spent uncountable amount of days.

Her heart suddenly started to pound in her chest, at the brink of breaking the bony manacles of her sternum, pieces of which already sliced her organs. Painful fear shrouded her judgment when she realized that the comparison to the cave wasn't exaggerated. It really felt like she pulled herself from some dark place, where there was nothing to be found except utter dismay and complete alienation.

She didn't know where she was.

That thought caused her heart to skip a beat, in that moment everything became clear. In that moment she achieved perfect understanding, waking what seemed to be the mythical sixth sense, sense that reached beyond the boundaries of normal perception, opening the pages of an invisible and only dictionary where definitions of all words could be found. Described not with philosophical babbling, but emotions.

Truth.

That what her thought was. Truth. Palpable and real that she could nearly smell it.

Her heart started to work again, so quickly and powerfully that she felt the scales of her chest stretch by the form of her heart with every clobber.

With a veil of complete terror and instinctive cling to escaping reality sliding along her body like the softest of silk she opened her eyes forcefully, jerking her body up. Only the upper part moved, bending exactly in place where her heart chaotically worked.

Rest of her body didn't woke up yet.

She instantly regretted opening her eyes fully, the light blinded her, forcing her to squint. The world around her was a complete blur at first, mind unable to connect the insubstantial shapes into solid form.

Her breathing intensified suddenly, or perhaps she was already panting the moment her heart started to pound, she wasn't sure anymore. The rapid breathing however forced smells into her nose, such sharp scent accumulating threatened to overpower her nostrils. They began to sting, swelling the blood vessels that shivered from exertion.

She felt like she was about to sneeze, a blow of the natural trumpet that would end with a fountain of blood gushing from her nose, together with her brain. The image of grotesque death would be completed by the pop of her eyes from their sockets.

If there were any holes in her blood vessels the invading smells seemed to cork them perfectly, killing the unpleasant sting, replacing it with an itching. Blood vessels calmed instantly, their shock ended as quickly as the raving of a prisoner treated with a syringe dipped in poison.

With understanding of the smells came understanding of the world. Mind could once more connect what is what, solving the trivial test that every child goes through when faced with a challenge of connecting a simple image to the right word.

Surroundings started to take on shape. As she turned around she started to recognize trees, sun, bushes, hills, grass and rivers. That big one they used for ice skating. Her front paws became cold as if her scales remembered how it was to slide on ice, just like her paws would have the cold ground below them.

That was just a moment of confusion, an unfortunate result of remembering.

Remembering.

She was on the field where she spent a wonderful evening with Spyro. With her body still arched upward she suddenly started to feel slightly moving, scaly body under her paws. She looked down, at first the shape below was nothing than an amethyst blur, a blink materialized it into a shape.

It was Spyro's body.

She tapped at it with her paws gently, like she would be trying to find something in complete darkness. At first she couldn't believe he was here, some part of her expected that soon something terrible would happen. Like perhaps cracking his scales to the inside, releasing a stream of bugs from his innards. Something similar happened before.

This time however nothing did.

He was real, his body was strong and somewhat rough, a male body. She tapped at it some more, noticing the trail of gold on his elastic fins, purple tail rested not far away from her. He was firm, for a second she had a crazy thought about nibbling at this loin. Loin.

Remembering.

She looked around, trailing the silhouette of her partner. They fell asleep, not able to get enough of each other closeness. They coiled around each other, resting their heads and front paws on each other's loins. From above they for sure looked like one of those medallions with a snake trying to bite its own tail.

She looked in the direction of her rump and smiled weakly, felling a bit guilty about the fact that she gets to watch him sleep, which unfortunately meant depriving him of his most precious sight. She consoled herself with the fact that he looked absolutely adorable sleeping on her like that. He was snoring softly, breathing deeply with eyes tightly shut and lips contracting in thin, pleasant smile.

He was for sure enjoying the pillow that was her scales, she could only wonder what he was dreaming about.

Remembering.

By the Ancestors! My dream!

Her eyes widened, her breath became ragged and quick as if she would be having a suffocating hiccup. She felt like a wave of overwhelming current struck her, instead of water pouring through a gate that she opened by breaking a metaphorical valve, she was flooded by a heart stopping sense of loss.

My dream! What was that in my dream!

She couldn't catch a breath, the suffocating gasps were hurting her lungs, squeezing her throat to the size of a straw.

How is it possible!

She pressed her paw to her chest, feeling the form of her heart as it pounded against her paw. She felt like she was being swallowed by a turbine, the force that was draining the life out of her was not a machine however that could be stopped by pulling a wooden stick. It was a void, utter sense of emptiness, drawing everything into oblivion.

Death. It was death.

My life! My parents!

It was so hot, like the sun above would pierce the veil in which the sky was shrouded and concentrated all of its rays on her. Shining from so close, just like it would hang right above her head. Melting her.

She started to sweat profusely.

Memory! My memories!

"Cynder?" Spyro stirred, head raising, eyes opening lazily with a yawn.

There was a somewhat unpleasant, yet numb pain pulsing at the back of his body.

"What is-"

His eyes shot open instantly, heart got stuck in his throat.

Her upper body was arched upwards, one paw tightly clenching the chest, other forcefully pressed against his loin, claws painfully scratching his scales. Her head was hanging low, tears were flowing down her cheeks. She was glistening from sweat.

It was horrible, but not as terrifying as hearing her pitiful attempts to breathe. She was gasping for air in quick, short, wavering spasms. Her tail bounced on the ground with each ragged, shallow breath, wings flicked with every uncontrollable jerk.

"Cynder!" he exclaimed in horror and instantly got up.

She landed on the grass with a muffled smack, her whole body acting in the same way, like she wasn't aware of what is going on.

He ran to her, sitting in front of her, cupping her head in his paws to look at her.

"What is happening?!" he screamed

He didn't need an answer, all the scary answer he read from her eyes.

Her green glistening with tears eyes, they seemed absent, but he was sure she could see him, or at least feel his presence. He was also starting to have troubles breathing when he looked into her eyes. Full of suffering, begging and completely terrified eyes of his partner.

"Panic attack!" he roared loudly, his own voice ringing painfully inside his skull, unconsciously desiring that the whole world would hear him

"You are having a panic attack Cynder!" she grabbed her paw that scratched the ground, intertwining his paw toes with hers

Her claws sunk into his leg, sending stinging, pulsing waves of pain as they dived into his scales.

"Calm down please!" he begged, but his words seemed to have no effect

Looking into her pleading, hurt and scared eyes was almost too much to bear. He could feel his heart cracking.

"It was just a dream Cynder! Just a dream!" he caressed her cheek, paw sliding smoothly across the slippery surface of her snout, moistened by tears and sweat

"I'm here! You're safe" he bounced closer, pressing the paw he was holding to his racing heart

Thump-Thump-Thump.

The void sucking the life out of her shook and cracked, holes started to spread across its dark cloak like burning marks on paper.

Thump-Thump-Thump.

Light started to push through the openings, illuminating the cage of emptiness she was in with a brilliant, gold light.

My lighthouse.

Thump-Thump-Thump.

With light came life, realization that she is not alone. Certainty that she will never be alone.

Thump-Thump-Thump.

Feeling of lose was gone, sound of life beating with life, giving strength that she so much needs. Beating with life, life that was bound by unbreakable chains.

Thump-Thump-Thump.

My love.

She crawled forward, paw slipped from Spyro's grasp, he could feel her moist cheek pressing against his chest, against her favorite spot.

"Shhh" he leaned forward, one paw caressing the nape of her neck. Wings covered her partner protectively, covering her in a cocoon from which only her rump protruded

He dived underneath the draconic umbrella.

"I'm right here" he whispered, his voice empowered by the closed space his membranes created, humming like the impression of hearing your own blood when you put a seashell to your ear

They remained cuddled like that, without a word, listening only to their own breathing, for what seemed like whole morning.

Neither of them got tired.

"Thank you"

He was relieved to hear her voice.

"You don't have to thank me"

She stirred, pushing away from him. He pulled back, folding his wings, letting sunlight shine on them again.

His ascent was stopped by a paw pressing against his shoulder, pulling him down. He looked at his partner whose eyes were shining with gratefulness and love. Even through tears and sweat he couldn't dream of anyone more beautiful.

Her head sprang forward gently, their lips locked with each other, caressing themselves with affection that words are unable to describe.

She pulled from the kiss first, dragging his lower lip behind as she pushed back, until it gently slapped back into place. Cynder lowered her head, near his sitting on the ground, wounded paw. Without hesitation she began cleaning it. Hot tongue sliding slowly, taking great care of each crimson droplet and hole, wavering with apology.

He leaned forward, pushing his own tongue out and beginning to tenderly groom her head and nape. Eventually leaning a bit more, nuzzling her neck. She arched her head up, caressing his shoulder with her nose, purring softly.

"I remembered my adopted parents" Cynder whispered

Spyro's eyes sparkled with sympathy and curiosity.

"No wonder you were so shocked"

"Gaul was my father"

He frowned, whole body convulsed when a cold shiver of dread ran across his body. He pulled back, looking at her intently.

"The Ape King?"

She licked her lips, swallowing last drop of crimson regret she cleaned from his paw.

"The same"

"Cynder, that was just a dream. There is no chance that an evil creature like that could be your adopted father. He tried to kill us"

She swallowed, for a fleeting, unexplained millisecond she wanted to make sure that he would take back those words.

"I know it sounds crazy. I hardly believe it myself"

He jerked his head back.

"Hardly? That was just a crazy dream, you had many of those before and it was all because of that monster that torments you"

"Hardly, because the Gaul who I saw was nice and good"

Spyro snorted "That's even more unbelievable! Don't let that thing mess with your head, the idea that it can trigger dreams terrifies me, even more so when I think how it twists a completely evil being into a good one! You need to get rid of that thing somehow, it all smells like corruption to me!"

She raised on her haunches, putting a paw on his stiff shoulder, smiling.

"Spyro don't be afraid, I'm not becoming corrupted again. Maybe it is the truth, maybe it isn't"

"What do you think?"

She gasped faintly, his blunt question caught her by surprise. She wanted to tell him that he is right, something like that can't be possible.

And yet she couldn't force herself to say it. He noticed her hesitation, she could read it from his pained expression.

"You think it's true" he muttered, he sounded like a guy who just gave his last breath

She bit her lip.

"I do"

He shook his head.

"How can you be so calm about this"

"Because I think I was the one that shaped that memory. It's really hazy, I can't really make sense out of it, I'll tell you about it later. Gaul is the only solid variable. Whatever Creep tried to show me, or if he even wanted to do that, didn't happen, or I twisted it too much. I just know he pulled me out of it"

"Why?"

She giggled "Why what? You need to specify your question Spyro"

Her laugh and the way she explained her dream, memory or whatever it was calmed him a little.

"Why he pulled you out of it?"

She lowered her gaze, for some unknown reason she couldn't look him in the eyes right now. The shame she felt was overpowering.

"I think it has something to do with Danox"

Spyro visibly shook, so strongly that she could see earth quivering under his paws.

"He was the one that told us the tales of our family life and Creep...seemed to warn me, or us, about him. He called him an abomination"

"Who gave the monster only you can see the right to judge?!" he snarled, his sudden annoyance didn't surprise neither of them

"For all we know that creature might be an abomination! Which is far more probable! Danox is at least a dragon!"

The thought to question his outburst, his sudden defensiveness, never crossed her mind. She understood it perfectly.

"I think it will be best if I simply ask Creep"

"Cynder..."

She pressed her claw to his lips.

"Not here however. Not when I'm with you. I won't ruin this more than I already did"

He kissed her claw, foretoe and finally the soft surface of her paw. She pulled it back with a giggle.

"You didn't ruin anything. I overreacted. I love you far too much to allow such stupid thing mess with our lives"

She smiled, throwing both her forelegs on his shoulder before leaning in and kissing his nose.

"You want to know the other reason why I've seen that memory? It's because I've given more thought to the idea of us having offspring than I'm willing to admit. You woke up maternity instincts in me"

He smiled shyly.

"Sorry?"

"Not even close. You know, seeing how you dealt with Flare, how you take care of me, it's amazing. I won't lie, I'm scared that I'll lose my independence, that I won't have the freedom that I have now and it makes me hesitant and unsecure"

She leaned closer, pressing her forehead to his head. He started to breathe quicker feeling her warm air wafting from her nose.

"But then I look and realize that you are my independence and my chains. You are a part of me and I would do everything to make you happy, to beam exactly like you did when you spoke about our future"

"It makes me wonder, let's skip some years forward...how would you react if I told you that I'm pregnant?"

He smirked, a smile she couldn't see.

"Like any true male would. I'd ran away"

Cynder burst out laughing, Spyro in that moment believed that there is no better sound in the world. It was the sound that freed him from the shackles of worry.

"I'm serious"

"Well...seeing that you would be pregnant without me even touching you, would make me seriously consider my role in this relationship"

She burst out with laughter again, this time however she dropped on the ground, punching him in the shoulder.

"Jerk"

He jumped up with a grin, he charged his Earth element before he landed. The moment his legs touched the ground a small shockwave was sent across the earth. Cynder yelped when she was unexpectedly lifted slightly in the air.

Spyro charged, lunging in her direction, wrapping paws around her body while she was still in the air. She squeaked when she was sharply spun around, finding herself on top of Spyro, held in his embrace.

His back hit the ground, ignoring the unpleasant, small pain he quickly rolled around, pressing his squeaking partner to the earth. Their eyes met, her surprised and amused one confronted his playful one.

With a wink she threw his head forward, pressing his lips to her sensitive neck scales just above the choker. He pushed air out of his mouth, sending ripples along her scales with the sound of prolonged snort of a horse.

Cynder screamed and laughed loudly at the same time, her hind legs kicked the air, front ones tried to weakly push the purple body off of her. Tail sharply slid from side to side, blade tip accidentally trimming the glass. Wings flapped up and down in a semi circular motion, as if they were hands trying to make an snow angel in the dirt.

He pulled from one side of the neck and with a chuckle pressed his lips to the opposite one. Repeating the same move.

Another loud laughing scream shot from her mouth, head arched itself impulsively, but that only stretched her neck, giving him more room for torture.

He repeated the treatment two more times until she finally started weakly punching his back.

"Stop" she gasped in between laughs, her voice was barely audible "Stop please. I can't take anymore"

Then another wave of laughter tormented her.

Spyro withdrew his head, observing from above her wriggling body and laughing, tear caressed snout. A broad, happy smile stretched his lips.

"Whoa" with a tired giggle and a whizzing inhale she pressed her paw right below the neckline "I can't breathe"

"I would surprise you" he said and her sparkling eyes momentarily focused on him

"Cherished you, make you feel as the most valuable dragoness in the world and then I would kiss you"

With that he leaned forward, making his promise true, his heart nearly exploded with joy when he felt her returning the kiss with all the loving affection she could muster

All fear evaporated, at least when it came to the two of them.

They were too busy with each other to notice a splotch of shadow on one of the nearby rocks that was perfectly illuminated by the sun. Nor did they noticed that shadow stretching, without even the tiniest tree around to be moved by the wind. Neither did they see one of the tendrils of shadow pressing itself to the bigger mass of swiveling darkness and shaking without even the smallest animal around.

Shaking in understanding of fear, fear triggered by one of the most horrid sounds that ever existed.

Thump-Thump-Thump.