The Rehabilitation of Dawn Bellwether Chapter:26

Story by WastedTimeEE on SoFurry

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#30 of Zootopia

In a comatose state, Dawn Bellwether struggles with her own inner demons in order to escape the purgatory of her own making. Will she have the strength to pull through?

Didn't post on Monday because it was Halloween, and because I only had three chapters to go I wanted to end it on a Thursday rather than a Monday. Only two more chapters to go. Till then, enjoy.

-WT


Chapter Twenty-Six: The Death of a Dream

It was the pit, why was it always the pit? Was Dawn destined to always be drawn back to this place? The ewe once again found herself trapped amidst the same stone walls and reinforced display windows, the same fake ferns and soil, and the same plastic primitive mammals. The only thing that had been any different this time around was how long the ewe had been here. It had felt like days, maybe even weeks the sheep had been trapped inside the display. Even her ghastly counterpart had yet to show it's face, leaving the ewe utterly alone inside the diorama.

Well, not truly alone. Dawn could hear voices sometimes. Distant echoes that were hard to make out, as if she were outside some sort of concert hall. Occasionally the ewe could catch some word, and even recognize some of the voices.

Vernon's was the first she had recognized fairly early on. Dawn had jumped to attention when she first recognized it, calling out and pleading for the wolf's help. But the wolf's voice continued to drone on, clearly unable to hear the lamb's calls.

".... Get through this Dawn, ..... you can."

"Get through what Vernon!? Puppy!" The lamb shouted, but received no reply.

Eventually the voice faded away again, and the ewe sat back down. Dawn brought her legs up against her, wrapping her arms around them and gently rocking herself.

More voices came as the ewe languished in the miserable pit.

" ....Tell her how sorry I am..." It sounded like her mother's voice. " ...Give my daughter the life she deserves..." The lamb shook her head at that one, it couldn't be her after all this time.

"That was some hustle sweetheart." That was undoubtedly Nick's voice.

'What was he talking about, what hustle?' Dawn thought to herself.

"I don't know if you can hear me or not..." Now she was hearing Judy's voice. "I-it was wrong! I-I was wrong!" She could hear the rabbit cry.

"Judy!" The lamb yelled back. "I'm here! I can hear you!" Dawn clambered to her feet again, shouting up at the edge of the exhibit.

"M-maybe you wouldn't b-be here right now... like this" Judy's voice continued to sob.

With each new snippet of voices the lamb found herself more and more confused. Each voice had been talking to Dawn, but more so at her. Her dreams of this place had never been so strange and lengthy before.

"...we c-could ever be friends or n-not." The rabbit continued. The ewe stood on a single hoof, pointing her ear up as best as she could toward the source of the rabbit's cry, but still could only make out only bits a pieces.

"...w-we could still try."

The voices went on from there, mostly from Vernon. But the lamb was now lost in her own mind. She sat herself back down and began to try to make sense of everything. Try as she might, Dawn could recall very little of what happened before ending up here. The last she could remember was leaving the apartment with Vernon to go to work and how late they were. She knew there was more, so much more, but no matter how hard she tried her mind continued to come up blank save for one terrifyingly familiar pair of words.

"Night howler." A familiar guttural voice hissed.

Dawn shot to her feet, scanning around the display in a panic for the monster she hated to face. The ewe began to pace around the diorama, knocking over the plastic ancient deer in her search for the beast, yet nothing appeared.

"W-where are you?" Dawn stuttered. She knew if there was any voice that would reply to her, it would be its.

"I'm here. I've never left Dawn..." The voice cooed.

"Then s-show yourself!" Dawn stood firm, despite her wavering voice. If this was how she was meant to die, then she'd rather make it a quick death.

"I'm behind you" The voice rasped.

Dawn turned sharply, holding her hooves up in defense as she awaited the oncoming strike. But it never came, and as Dawn slowly lowered her hooves she could see why.

In the center of the pit the beast sat, but it had changed somewhat. It seemed smaller to the ewe, its fur was more managed and it lacked the sinister steam that often flowed from its maw. It simply stared at the ewe, its eyes lacking that burning hatred that they had featured before. Slowly, it motioned one of its hooves at the ewe, gesturing for her to approach.

Dawn stood stock still, still afraid of the strange, albeit different looking creature seated before her. It seemed to notice, and let out a weak chuckle in response.

"Come now Dawn." It grinned weakly. "Despite what I've told you before, I won't bite."

Dawn gulped hard. Slowly and cautiously she began to move toward the now sluggish beast. The creature kept her in its steady gaze, but did little to move as the ewe approached. Despite the fear, Dawn managed to make it to just a few feet away from the monster before coming to a stop. The beast, seemingly satisfied, motioned for the ewe to sit. Dawn eyed the creature curiously, before reluctantly taking a seat on the floor.

"We need to talk about why you're here now Dawn." The beast said in a calm voice.

"W-what?" Dawn stuttered. "Y-you want to talk?" The ewe asked in confusion.

The creature gave a slow and tired nod.

"This is not a dream, not this time." The creature gave an uncomfortable grunt. "I need you to remember what happened, so you know why we're here now."

"B-but-"The ewe sputtered. "I can't remember, I can't remember anything short of leaving the apartment."

"Night howler Dawn." The twisted reflection hissed. "Remember the night howler."

Dawn shook her head aggressively. "No, I won't go back there." The ewe crossed her arms. "I'm not the mammal I was fou-"

The creature brought its face close, staring deep into the ewe's eyes. There was a severity in its stare.

"Dawn!" It growled. "That's not what I mean."

"Oh really!?" Dawn felt a sudden surge of bravery run through her, and quickly rose to her feet. "What else could it be!?" Dawn started to seethe. " I know you!" The stabbed a hoof at the beast. "The one who keeps telling me to embrace being a monster! That my family had it right wanting to wipe out every predator in Zootopia! Why should I even listen to you!?" The ewe spat.

The beast simply remained quiet as the ewe continued to rant.

"I am no monster! I won't be one! I refuse!" Dawn snarled.

A silence passed between the two mammals, Dawn panting as she recovered from her heated statements.

Slowly, a smile came to the creatures face, not one of malice or hatred, but simple pleasure.

"Dawn..." The creature chuckled. "You already were..."

Dawn was taken aback by the creature's words.

"W-what...what do you?" In that instant, it all came flooding back to the ewe. The attack at the Bug Burga, the police chase, the rams, getting thrown over the falls, getting captured, and finally...

"T-the night howler..." Dawn mumbled. "I-I..."

"You embraced me." The creature sighed. "You let go of your fear and let me out."

"D-did I-?" Dawn stuttered nervously.

"You didn't hurt a single mammal Dawn. Not one." It wheezed.

"B-but how? You're..." Dawn stuttered.

"A mindless beast?" The creature hissed.

Dawn gulped, nodding slowly at the creature.

"Dawn, I am not some manifestation of your guilt, I'm just another part of you. The part of you you've suppressed since you were a little lamb." The beast sighed. "I am something that all mammal's have inside of them, whether predator or prey. I am your anger, your self doubt, your animalistic tendencies, your inner strength. I am natural, even if I haven't looked the part for some time." The beast groaned.

"I-I don't understand." Dawn sat back down, looking at the creature in confusion.

"Dawn, you've lived your whole life refusing to stand up for yourself. You bottled up your hatred, your anger, pushed it deep inside. You denied instinctual urges as something beneath you, and eventually all that loathing and self doubt caused you to play right into that plan."

Dawn was stunned into speechlessness by the creatures words.

"Therapy didn't help you Dawn. You just went right back to burying it, now more afraid then ever to even raise your voice because of what you did the last time. You only set yourself on the same path of destruction." The beast chuckled.

"If it wasn't for that wolf, who knows where you'd be." The creature wheezed.

"Wait!" Dawn struggled back to her feet. "Y-you told me..."The lamb stammered. "You told me it was my fault! N-nobody held my hooves to make me hurt those predators. That I wanted to do it! Y-you said I was right about predators!" The ewe stabbed a hoof at the beast again. "You told me to accept my families legacy!"

The beast let out a tired sigh. "It was ultimately you who chose to go along with Doug Dawn. All those years of not standing up for yourself made it seem like Doug's plan was the only way to get revenge on all the injustices done to you. But you weren't standing for yourself, you were standing up for someone else's flawed ideology. One you had beaten and fed into you since childhood. Even then you were more so looking for approval by Doug, by your Father, weren't you?"

Dawn was trembling now. The more things made sense, the less she could understand what was happening. The creature, once a seemingly mindless, enraged beast now spoke to her as it were a sage.

"B-but you s-said." Her lip quivered.

"I said you had to accept it Dawn. Accept who you were, what you did." The beast hissed. "I never said you had to stay that way."

Dawn slumped back down on the floor, holding her arms as she began to shudder.

"I threw back at you what you didn't want to hear, so that you would fight. So that you would embrace me and stand up for yourself. And what you did, to Doug, to your Father, it has finally put me at ease." The creature sighed. "You stood up for yourself, for what you believed and those you loved against the ones who deserved it most. You did the right thing Dawn."

The ewe began to sniffle slightly. wiping the beginnings of tears from her eyes.

"I had too..." She sobbed. "For everybody. Judy, Nick.."

"Vernon." The beast cooed.

Dawn nodded softly.

"Just because you are small doesn't mean you can't be strong Dawn, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself."

Dawn continued to nod, still sniffling slightly.

"Y-you said this wasn't a dream." Dawn stuttered. "So are we-I mean am I..."

The creature let out a deep sigh.

"You aren't dead Dawn." The creature glanced up at the edge of the pit. "You are near it though, on the edge of life."

Dawn looked at the creature, it's eyes looked surprisingly sad.

"I-I'm dying?" She sputtered.

The beast merely nodded in response.

"I-I don't want to die! I c-can't! I want...I want-"

"My Puppy?" Another voice carried across the chamber. Dawn turned her head, following the sound of the voice to a small and familiar form. Standing just a few feet from the pair was another Dawn, the little ewe from years ago. She clutched her friendship bracelet tightly. Dawn began to tear up, falling to her knees as the child walked up to her.

"Have you seen Puppy ma'am?" The little ewe asked, eyes wide as saucers.

Dawn turned to look back at her beastly self, only to find it had disappeared.

"He's really nice!" The little lamb continued, drawing Dawn's attention back on her.

"He's my best friend see!" The ewe extended her arm, flashing Dawn the familiar bracelet.

Tears continued to flow as Dawn read the words.

"P-puppy's best friend." She whimpered.

"Yup!" The little Dawn smiled broadly. "We promised to always be friends!"

Dawn simply nodded, a sob escaping her throat. The little ewe seemed to notice, staring at the older lamb quizzically.

"M-ma'am, why are you crying?" The little lamb twisted a foot.

"Oh..." Dawn sniffled..."I-I have a friend just like yours."

"Really!?" The little lamb beamed. "Where is he?" The lamb looked around the diorama briefly.

"H-he's not here sweetie." Dawn choked. "A-and I don't think I'm even going to see him again."

The little lamb looked at her sadly. "W-why?"

Dawn looked down at the floor, tears still streaming. "Because I-I'm stuck here, and we can't get t-to each other sweetie."

"O-oh..." The little lamb sighed.

Dawn's younger self took a seat in front of the ewe, beginning to idly play with her bracelet as she seemed to be thinking hard.

"I-I understand." The little ewe whimpered. "My Daddy d-doesn't want me to see Puppy." The ewe jutted out her bracelet arm at the older Dawn.

"H-he even hurt my arm real bad." The little ewe whimpered.

"I-I'm not strong enough to get away." The little ewe sniffled. "So it's hard to see Puppy now.."

Dawn looked the little ewe in her equally sad eyes.

"B-but one day I'll be big enough to do w-whatever I want." The ewe suddenly beamed. "Then Daddy can't stop me from seeing P-puppy all the time!"

"Do y-you think I'd be as strong and big as you?" The little ewe suddenly asked. Dawn was taken aback, she almost wanted to laugh. Strong and big as her? She wasn't...

"Maybe I am..." Dawn thought. "Maybe that thing is right. Standing up for myself, going after what I want, maybe I really am stronger than I thought."

"Dawn.." Vernon's voice, she could hear it. The ewe stood up, listening as hard as she could to make out Vernon's words.

"Dawn...I..." The voice continued.

"VERNON WHAT!? TELL ME!" She stood on a single hoof, trying to get as high up as she could to catch the sound.

Outside of the sleeping ewe's mind the weary wolf laid the same as he had been for the previous six days. Head rested on the bed, with Dawn's hoof in his paw. He stared at the ewe with tearful eyes.

"My...uh, my graduation ceremony was today." the wolf sighed.

"I uh-I didn't go." He chuckled. "It's okay though, they still have to give me the degree anyway."

Vernon gently pet her hoof, stroking it back and forth.

"I k-know you would have wanted me to go...but-" He shook his head. "I couldn't leave you alone here."

Vernon let out a long sigh, he could feel the tears forming as he tried his best to continue.

"I-I miss you Dawn. I-" Vernon whimpered. "I'm scared that, t-that your not going to pull through this." He shut his eyes tightly, doing his best to keep in the tears.

"I-I can't lose you Dawn, I need y-you." Vernon chuckled weakly through the growing sobs.

"I probably sound p-pathetic right?" He continued to chuckle. "I-I told myself if worst came to w-worst I wouldn't let losing you hurt me as bad as last time." The wolf sighed, a few more choking sobs bubbling to the surface.

"B-but It was a l-lie...I c-can't Dawn. I can't live without you i-in my life." The tears were flowing steadily now, and wolf wiped his eyes.

Back in the pit Dawn was weeping just as hard. For the first time in this whole ordeal she could hear clearly. She could hear everything the wolf was saying, and her heart burned with the desire to tell him the same.

"P-Puppy..."She whispered silently, tears streaming from her face.

"Dawn...I-" Vernon stuttered, seemingly hesitant to finish.

"Vernon." Dawn trembled.

"I-I love you Dawn." Vernon cried.

Dawn fell to her knees again, the wolf's confession practically knocking the wind out of her. She placed her hooves over her mouth in shock.

"I- I think I always have Dawn." Vernon continued. "You're the o-one." She could hear the wolf opening weeping. "P-please come back to me."

"Oh g-gods Vernon." Dawn choked.

"Don't l-leave me all alone. Ple-please." There were no more words from the wolf, only quiet sobs.

Dawn silently cried as she knelt in the false earth of the pit. Vernon felt the same, by the gods he felt the same as she did. Dawn was blown away, both elated and terrified. Those three words, the ones she had so desperately wanted to hear made her heart swell with warmth. She felt the urge to grab Vernon, to kiss him deeply, to tell him how she felt the same if not more. But she couldn't, the wolf couldn't even hear her voice. Truly this was hell.

"Is that your friend?" Dawn turned to see the little ewe. She was standing again, arms behind her back, and swaying back and forth.

"Y-yeah..." Dawn sniffled.

"He sounds really nice. Just like my Puppy." The little ewe smiled back.

Dawn stifled a sob. "H-He is sweetie. He-e's the nicest mammal I-i've ever met."

"He sound like he needs you." The little ewe continued.

Dawn wiped her eyes, a determined look slowly working it's way across her face.

"He does." Dawn placed her hooves on the shoulders of her smaller self, looking the innocent ewe in the eyes.

"I have to go now okay." Dawn stated.

The little ewe nodded in response. "Okay, you go find Puppy for us." The smaller Dawn smiled broadly. "And you make sure we're always together again, no more waiting!" The small ewe pushed Dawn away from her gently.

Dawn stood up. With one last wipe of her eyes she stomped over to the nearest wall in the pit. Dawn growled as she reeled a hoof back, slamming it into the wall. The wall resisted, staying firm under the pressure.

Every time before that Dawn had tried to scale the wall it has always been unyielding. It's smooth stone prevented the ewe from getting any sort of grip. It had always seemed to be a hopeless errand. But with Vernon on the line, the ewe was filled with a burning determination she had never felt before. It flowed through her like fire, making her feel almost....savage.

Another slam, and another. Again the wall refused to give. Dawn reeled back again, placing all her force into another blow, screaming as her hoof came crashing down.

The wall caved under her hoof, allowing it to form a perfectly sized groove for it to fit in. Dawn stared at her now embedded hoof, mouth agape in shock. It had worked, it had actually worked. A sudden rush of greater assurance brought a smile to the ewe's muzzle.

She grinned ferociously as she slammed her other hoof into the wall higher up. It gave on the first try, and the lamb began to pull herself up. Another indent, then another, then another. The ewe began to scale the smooth wall, moving across it with ease. Another and another and another still, higher and higher she went, growling with each slam into the stone. Vernon's weeping was growing louder now, she was getting closer.

Dawn glanced back at the bottom of the now empty pit. It was seemingly much farther away than it should have been, and as her stare lingered she could see it pulling farther and farther away despite her remaining still. It was fading, falling away into a dark abyss of nothingness. The ewe knew now that if she slipped it would all be over. She had seen enough, and Dawn turned her attention back to closing the last bit of distance to the rim of the exhibit.

Finally the lamb reached a hoof over the rim. Clasping the floor above she desperately scrambled to make the final hoist over the edge. It took a few tries, but finally Dawn crested the edge and flopped on the floor above.

The ewe panted hard, staring ahead at the room she had never gotten to see in her dreams. It wasn't like the museum, not at all. The tile floor she now lay on tapered off into a pure white void on all sides.

Dawn struggled to her feet, taking a few more gasps as she propped herself on a knee. Placing a hoof to her ear, she listened for the wolf's weeping again. It was practically in the room with her now, but it seemed the loudest straight ahead of her.

Dawn stood the rest of the way up, taking a final gasp as she stared into the void.

"I'm coming Puppy." She muttered. And with that she walked into the white abyss.

Outside Vernon continued to softly weep, his paw still tightly wrapped around the ewe's hoof. He clenched it tightly as he sobbed, intermittently squeezing with the most wracking sobs. He was about to let out another series of hacking cries when a strange sensation caused any further noise to die in his throat.

His head shot straight up off the bed, ears pointed high and alert. He looked at the sleeping ewe, then down to the hoof he was holding. It couldn't have been his imagination, he was sure of it.

A second squeeze of the hoof against his paw launched the wolf's heart into his throat. He watched in disbelief as the hoof weakly began to intertwine itself with his paw and began to squeeze consistently.

"D-D-Dawn.." The wolf choked in surprise. "Dawn!"

Vernon leaned his body over the bed, bringing his face close to the ewe's. He watched her motionless eyelids begin to flutter. His mouth hung agape as he watched the eyes slowly open, those beautiful lime green eyes he had come to love.

"V-v-vernon...?" A weak but familiar voice croaked.

Vernon couldn't speak, a renewed rush of tears now streaming from his face. The wolf smiled broadly, his tail wagging at a mile a minute.

"Wh-where are we?" The ewe stuttered though her mask.

"W-we're safe." The wolf choked. "We're safe D-dawn...you saved everyone." He laughed slightly as he continued to weep.

"B-but we almost lost you Floofs...we.." Vernon shook his head and was about to continue speaking when a shaky hoof made it's way to his muzzle, placing a single finger on his lips.

"I-I couldn't le-leave you all alone Puppy." She smiled. "We p-promised remember?"

Vernon started to laugh through his tears. Gingerly the wolf wrapped his arms around the ewe, hugging her tightly.

"T-thats right." Vernon sobbed. "We'll always be there f-for eachother."