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Chapter 8

Slowly I crunch through the snow as I weave my way back through the trees lost in thought. I know that if I stay here with Chase and his pack they will be in ever growing danger with each passing day. But at the same time a pack of wolves can hold off a threat much better than I alone ever could. Then there is the whole winter issue.

As though to drive the point home a branch I am passing under decides at that exact moment to drop its entire cold, white, wet load on top of my head. Shaking my ears free I glare up at the offending tree limb and briefly consider setting it on fire just to make myself feel somewhat better. Instead, I let out a huff of steamy, hot air and look around to see where I have ended up.

Without realizing it, or consciously intending to, I have managed to find my way back to Chase's home. It would seem that I had made the choice to stay even while having my internal debate on the matter. Sighing I begin to make my way up to the front door.

Reaching the porch I just stand there staring at the door for several long minutes as I try and figure out what I am going to say to try and explain myself. In order to tell the truth about why I ran like I did would mean exposing too many secrets about myself. Secrets that I don't want to share.

Eventually I decide on just giving simple one or two word answers if I can get away with it. This way I can limit how much I have to reveal, at least that's what I hope. Putting a hand out I grab the handle and open the door. Slowly it opens to reveal the entrance way and room beyond to be devoid of any inhabitants.

Letting out a sigh of relief I step inside and quietly close the door behind me. In the main room there is a fire burning softly in the fireplace casting an orange glow on the room. The shadows created by it are the only things I notice moving in the room as they dance along the walls and furniture.

Looking around I think about what to do next. I had been so worried about being greeted by others that I had no plan for what to do if I found myself alone. Not that I'm complaining about the outcome.

After a moment I decide to go to the kitchen and see about starting to try repaying the debt I owe to Chase and his pack. Sliding my pack off my shoulder I pick my way through the room trying to avoid hitting anything along the way when a sound to my right causes me to stop and look around.

A single cough comes from the direction of a window opposite the fireplace. There is a large chair there hidden deep in the shadows. This darkness explains why I failed to see the wolf sitting there when I first entered the room. As I watch Richard gets up from the chair looking at me with an expression of both suspicion and relief.

I swallow expecting to have to give an explanation to Chase's beta as to my return. Richard takes a slow breath and says, "Jasmine said that you would be back eventually. She asked me to make sure that you were ok."

I raise an eyebrow at the unexpected greeting before replying, "Uhm... yeah I'm fine. Just had to clear my head a bit and do some thinking."

He nods slowly, "More than a little from the way she told it. She seems to think that you are under the impression that you are a threat to our pack in some way?"

His statement is a combination of question and accusation. Not unexpected from a pack beta protecting his home and his mate, but still a bit unwelcome just the same. With a sigh I set my pack down and cross my arms in front of my chest and look down at Richard, "Look, I am thankful for what you and your pack have done for me. But as I told Jasmine earlier I am a hunted wolf. The one who attacked me wants to see me dead and he has no problems with destroying anyone or anything that gets between us."

Richard raises his own eyebrow in return but remains silent as I continue, "Sooner or later he will come for me. I won't hide that fact, it will happen. That is why I don't plan to stay here any longer than I absolutely have to. I will remain only long enough to finish healing and to try and repay at least part of what I owe you. After that it would be best for us to go our separate ways."

For a moment Richard stares at me then his eyes drift down to the bandage on my arm. I follow his gaze and see that it has become dislodged and part of the wound is showing. Before I can reach up to fix it though he has moved forward and started to straighten the wrapping himself.

As he does so he says in a quieter voice, "I think that you are making a mistake there. A wolf is only as strong as the pack he runs with and we are a rather strong pack in my opinion. We have faced dangers before and come through it unharmed. But it is your life and your decision on whether or not to stay. No one here will force you to stay if you don't want to."

He finishes with the bandages then looks back at me, his eyes focused just slightly above my own as he tries to avoid looking me straight in the eye and says, "I don't have my mates ability to read people's emotions but I can tell when someone is hiding something. When I look at you I can tell that you are keeping a lot of secrets. I will respect your privacy and will not pry into them. But I want you to know that if any of your secrets threaten my pack or my mate in anyway. I will make sure that the threat is eliminated. Am I clear?"

Looking down into his face I get a strong feeling that Richard is not someone to take lightly. I can tell that he is a wolf that knows his abilities and his limits and would not make such a statement if he did not believe that he could back it up. Though I doubt that he has ever faced an opponent such as myself.

For a moment there is a part of me that flares up in anger wanting to rake my claws through his flesh at merely trying to intimidate me. I quickly push that part of me back into its cage as I give a short nod.

He looks at me for a moment then inclines his head in a satisfied manner before heading off towards the stairs leading up to the bed rooms. When he reaches them he turns back and says with a small smile, "For the record Ebony, no one is against you staying. Least of all Chase."

With that he turns and heads upstairs leaving me alone with the cracking fire.

I turn to look at the dancing flames as they eat away at the logs. It is not hard for me to visualize the fire as a representation of my life. The logs are the burning remains of the home I long for. The flames are the enemies working to destroy any foundations I may try and lay for myself. Finally the smoke is the blackened remains of my life after it has been burned away and discarded into the winds.

With a slight grumble I reach down and grab my pack before heading to the kitchen, "Stupid fire."

Entering the kitchen and turning on the light I try and figure out where the best place to start would be. As I look around the room at the layer of dust, the unused pans and utensils, and the single large pot of left over stew it quickly becomes apparent that the first step will be to clean. Grabbing a nearby rag I set to work attacking the dust and grime that is trying to lay claim to the room.

Some time, and many rags later, I straighten up from putting the last of now sparklingly clean pots away under the counter to look around the room. The kitchen doesn't even look like the same place now. The layers of dust have been removed to reveal a marble counter top and oak cabinets with hand carved doors and drawers. The beauty of the room leaves me at a complete loss as to why it was allowed to reach such a state of ill use.

Shaking my head a little sadly I look around to decide what to work on next when I hear a shuffling sound coming from the stairs. I turn just in time to see a young grey and white wolf with a very bad case of bed fur and sleep in his eyes enter the kitchen. Once he is in the kitchen proper he stops dead in his tracks and stares, first at me then the rest of the kitchen.

He blinks several times as though trying to convince himself he is in fact awake. As the seconds stretch into minutes I decide to break the silence, "Uhm... Jake right?"

His eyes snap to me as he gives a slight start and I see the sleep instantly vanish from his eyes as he stammers a bit, "Oh... uh.. um.... Ebony.... I didn't know you were awake already. I was fixing to try and start something for breakfast."

As he says this his ears fold down around his head as he mutters gloomily, "Such as it will be."

I raise an eyebrow at the young wolf and ask, "Do you not like cooking?"

He shakes his head, "No not really. No one around here really knows how to so we all take turns. This week is my turn and I am the worst."

Nodding silently I turn to the cabinet where the cook books are and grab one out at random and begin thumbing through the pages till I find the breakfast section.

After a moment Jake asks, "Did you clean in here?"

As I set about checking to make sure that all the ingredients needed to make a large simple breakfast casserole are available before I answer him, "Yes I did. I wasn't tired and figured it was an easy enough way to help out."

While I study the recipe and set about fixing the dishes for the meal while Jake takes a seat at the table where Chase and I had stew the previous night. As I cook he watches me in silence with a confused look until his staring starts to become a bit annoying. Looking up at him I ask, "Did you have a question?"

He gives another jump, either he is a jumpy wolf by nature or just that way around strangers I don't know. After he calms back down a bit he says, "No not exactly. It's just that I have never seen anyone use those before. I didn't know what they were for."

It is my turn to stare now as I look at him blinking, "Never seen them use what? The pans?"

He shakes his head and points at the cookbook, "No those. No one around here has ever looked at those. What are they for?"

I look down at the book then back at him and a sinking feeling hits me as I say, "This is a cookbook. It has recipes for different meals in it. It isn't hard to use you just read what it says and then..... just do...... it......"

My voice trails off as he looks at me even more confused than before so I ask the question that I dread to hear the answer to, "Jake, do you know how to read?"

He shakes his head side to side saying, "Nope, none of us can. Though I think Chase knows some words and numbers though."

I swallow hard. I knew that I wasn't the only one around here with secrets but for the whole pack to be illiterate. I never dreamed that would be possible.

My attention is snapped back to the stove as it alerts me to being ready for the casserole. Putting it in to cook I set the timer and then turn back to look at Jake. For several long moments I just lean against the counter studying him causing him to squirm a bit in his seat until he asks, "Uhm... Did I do something wrong?"

His question hangs in mid air as I try to figure out how to answer. Eventually I reply, "No, no you didn't do anything wrong. I was just wondering is all. Does your pack do any trading with anyone or do you fend for yourselves entirely?"

Jake thinks for a moment then says, "Well for meat we do all our own hunting. But a couple times a month Chase and Richard take some of the furs we collect to a village about a day's travel from here and bring back things we can't find in the forest."

Chewing on this information for a moment I move on, "So how did you all end up here?"

He shrugs, "I don't know about everyone here. Before you got here I was the newest. Only been here a year or so. But most of us seem to have similar stories. We all either lost our birth packs or were kicked out for some reason. Most of us before we were adults. Chase would find us and bring us back here. He found me wandering the forest starving."

What have I found myself in the middle of here? As I try and understand what Jake is telling me about the whole pack being outcasts or orphans my mind tries to figure out what is going on that I am still not seeing. I have met many packs over the years, some larger, some smaller than this one. I wouldn't call any of them well educated, with the exception of one lone wolf who set the bar rather high. But none were so low as this pack was. What happened to them to cause this is a tragedy I am sure.

As the smell of the cooking food spreads through the room and out to the house as a whole the sounds of more wolves waking and moving around begins to echo down the stairs. Turning back to Jake I say, "If you don't mind would you go tell the others not to come in here till I'm finished cooking. Except Chase, let him know I would like to talk to him would you."

Jake gets up a bit uncertainly but nods and leaves the room. After he is gone I set to work cleaning up the pots and pans I used. As I am fighting to scrub a particularly stubborn bit of cooked on residue the door opens and Chase walks in with a curious expression.

After he watches me scrub the pot he says, "Jake mentioned you wanted a word?"

I nod as I finally get the pot clean then set it aside to dry. As I grab a towel to dry off my paws I motion towards the food laid out on the counter, "I made breakfast for everyone. Figured you would want to check it out first make sure I didn't poison it."

He looks back at me quickly with a raised eyebrow then notices the smirk on my face and says in slightly amused voice, "Ha ha, so the big bad demon has a sense of humor after all huh?"

After a quick glance to make sure no one had overheard his statement I shrug, "Never said I didn't. It's just a bit darker than most people like."

I watch as Chase grabs a plate and loads a sample of the food I have prepared onto it. We both take a seat at the table as he smells of it saying, "Well it sure smells a lot better than we are used to."

Grabbing a fork he takes a large mouth full and begins to chew. His expression rapidly goes from one of hesitancy to one of delight as he begins to inhale the rest of the food on his plate in moments. Before long there is not so much as a crumb left on his plate as he licks his lips in satisfaction.

Stifling a belch he looks up at me and asks, "Where did you learn to cook? That was delicious."

I study him for a moment before saying, "I learned a bit from my mother before..... before I left home. But that recipe I got here, out of one of your cookbooks."

He looks at me with a confused look before I continue while pointing to the still open book on the counter, "It was in your cabinet. Looks like it was never opened."

With a glance at the counter he seems grow a tad stiffer before replying, "Oh well.... like I said yesterday.... no one here really knows how to cook."

Crossing my arms across my chest I lean back in my chair and study him for several moments. He mirrors my movements and studies me in return. After the silence grows heavy I say in as soft a voice as I am comfortable using, "I know no one here can read Chase, and that you yourself can read only very little. May I ask why?"

His face falls in shock then a bit of rage hits his eyes and he half rises out of his seat as he says in a harsh whisper, "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?! WHO TOLD YOU?"

I look at him with a raised eyebrow and say, "No one had to tell me though Jake did confirm it a short time ago. He was surprised that I could read when he saw me doing while cooking."

Chase looks as though he is about to get up and go berate Jake for letting me know this secret. Holding out a paw towards him I manage to stop his movements, "Don't get mad at Jake. He didn't realize the significance of what he told me. But the clues are all there for anyone to see, that very few if anyone here could read."

He sits back down with a huff, "And what clues would those be?"

I gesture again at the cookbook, "For starters those books have almost never been used. For a pack as large as yours I would have expected them to be rather well worn in no time. Second I have not seen so much as a single written word in this house, let alone a book. Granted that's no guarantee of anything but the two things together did get me thinking."

A slight growl emanates from Chase as he says, "So what? You think your better than us now because you can read?"

Fighting hard against the urge growl back I simply reply with the truth, "I admit that I do suffer a bit from my families ego of thinking we are better than others."

His growl intensifies but I push on, "However, I do not think I am better than you simply because I can read and write. I was simply making an observation and had thought about offering to teach you how to read so that when I am gone you might still get use out of those cookbooks. But if the idea is that offensive, forget I even brought it up."

For a long moment Chase stares at me with anger in his eyes. Slowly however the anger begins to burn away leaving only shame in its place as he slumps in his chair slightly. When he speaks however there is a bit of sadness in his voice, "So you still intend to leave anyway?"

I nod, "Yes. Eventually I will have to. You know I am hunted and like I told Jasmine, Richard, and you, that fight will be brought here if I stay."

He nods slowly before looking me straight in the eyes then says, "Very well if you refuse to stay then I suppose accepting your offer would be a wise choice. It would only help my pack grow stronger after all."

With a single nod of my own I agree as he continues, "But only under one condition."

I raise an eyebrow in curiosity and ask, "Oh? And what condition would that be?"

He swallows before saying, "You explain to me why you ran off last night. The whole explanation. I don't want to be left feeling like you left something out for any reason."

His condition catches me off guard. I had hoped that he would just leave that event in the past where it belonged. Instead he has turned it into a bargaining chip against me. My desire to help him and his pack better themselves, and in so doing pay my debt to them, begins to fight hard with my desire to keep my past hidden and private. Granted he is not asking about my whole life, but to reveal the answer that he seeks will reveal one of the most painful moments of my life.

For several long moments we stare at each other, neither lowering the gaze from the other. As the time passes my respect for him grudgingly increases.

Before long however I let out a single sigh of defeat, "Very well, I will.... try to explain my actions... in time. It is not something that I will allow to be shared with others, nor will I discuss it in a place where we could be interrupted. Is that understood?"

He nods with a solemn expression but I can see the triumph and an almost eager joy flickering in his eyes as he says, "I can respect that and I agree to those terms. But I will still hope that one day you trust everyone here enough to tell my whole pack the truth."

I get up and grab my belongings that are stacked by the door and say, "Perhaps one day. But for now I think they would rather eat. So I will be up in my room if you need me for anything."

Without giving him a chance to say anything else, I close the kitchen door behind me and move quickly towards the stairs, avoiding more than a few curious stares as I do so. Before long the sounds of feet rushing to the kitchen can be heard followed soon by the noise of several wolves all eating at once. Despite myself a small flicker of a smile touches my lips before I step into my room and close the door behind me, muffling the sounds from downstairs.