FSE

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About a week later, on a rainy day, I was driving home. Visibility was poor... Weather conditions were bad. The streets were empty. Every now and then, I saw someone running through the rain, looking for shelter. I reached an intersection with a red traffic light at some point. So I slowed down. The road was slippery, but I came to a stop anyway. As the traffic light was red, I was looking around. Seeing everything being reflective on the street was a bit of a surreal sight to witness. The car behind me honked, and when I looked up, I noticed the traffic light was green. So I accelerated... Then the last thing I remembered were two head lights shining from the right. A loud screech... And the moment I looked to my right, everything turned black...

It felt like there was this big black space I was staring at. Everywhere I looked, it was all pitch black. That was the scariest thing I've ever experienced... I didn't feel anything... I didn't hear anything... I didn't see anything. All sorts of thoughts ran through my head. I still had to do some homework. Do the dishes once I get home... Make up my bed... Then I wondered if I ever get home... If I actually saw Ceylan and all the others again. A really scary thought...

Then, slowly, I heard something. It seemed like an eternity before I heard anything, and it slowly faded in... At some point, I recognized Ceylan's voice talking to someone... I tried opening my eyes, but I couldn't. I tried moving, but I couldn't. I regained conscious but couldn't do a thing... And I could hear everything... He said I lost a lot of blood and that I might not make it through the night...

Did he mean I was going to die...? I didn't want to go like this... I wanted to cry, but I couldn't... And if it was inevitable that I was going to die, give me at least a chance to say goodbye to everyone... I'm only twenty three years old for fucks sake... So much to do and so many things that I still wanted to do... So many things left unsaid... I heard how Ceylan was talking to me, reaching out for my hand and... Feeling that she placed her hand on my cheek... Feeling her tears... After what seemed like an eternity, I felt she let go of my hand. I wanted to yell for her to come back, but I couldn't. And then that same desolate feeling came back...

I couldn't stand it that I couldn't do anything. If only I could open my eyes... That would make a whole lot of difference. But I couldn't... I thought I was getting mad. That I actually died already. But then again, if I already died, someone would have noticed it, right...? So... There was still hope. And every now and again, I fell asleep... And every time I regained conscious there wasn't much changed. Except sleeping made the time go faster.... And I wasn't even aware of time...

I heard the others visited as well. I could hear Terry sobbing quietly and kissed me on my fore head, and Meagan said things that meant a lot to me... They were right there, and yet the distance seemed so far away... An eternity crawled by before I felt Ceylan's hand again... And again... And again... I could hear everything they were saying to me. If only they knew...

I was on the edge of insanity. I couldn't stand it anymore, and I wanted to cry my eyes out, but I couldn't... I began to see things in the pitch black... Whether it was all a hallucination, a dream, or just my fantasy, I didn't know... The scary thought was that I could clearly see and hear it all...

I had a dream one night... While I was looking around in the darkness, I saw this small bright dot. It hurt my eyes... But moved towards it anyway... The dot only got larger from that point on until everything was so bright... And when I looked around, I noticed a figure walking away. I followed it, but no matter how hard I tried to get closer, the figure doesn't seem to get closer. "Wait!! Wait!!!" I shouted... And then the figure stopped and turned around... "Why the hell are you following me...?" the figure replied. "Cody...?" The figure placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead... "You can't go where I am, Nikki." "Why not...? I'm here now..." The figure took my hands and placed it in his. "No... Not yet. I'll be seeing you again... But not now... Not just yet... And you know it..." The figure was wiping a tear out of my eyes... "I wanna stay with you... I wanna see you... Why can't I see you...?" And then the figure looked at me. And I could see its eyes... Dark blue... Just like Cody's... "What the heart has once owned and had will never be lost, Nikki... I'll always be with you... Don't forget about me... Like I'll never forget you..." Then the figure hugged me... And I felt so peaceful... The moment I clenched my arms around it, it felt as if I was being lifted up... _"Let go of it, Nic... She needs you..."_And with that, the figure let go off me and turned around... And I saw a small figure in the distance... I saw how Cody walked off... When he reached that figure, Cody took it by its hand... And walked off together while I was left behind...

I was falling a long way down... Without warning, it was like I hit the ground on my back, and some kind of shock was going through my body... All of a sudden, I opened my eyes... I looked around and saw I was in a bed... A TV hanging on the wall... Some strange smell was in the air... It smelled like a hospital... Anyone who's ever been in a hospital should know how it smells like. And my bed was near a large window... I could look outside and saw it was raining... Dark clouds moved slowly across the night sky... And I noticed the clock on the wall. Half past 4... Everything is just... So surreal... And not long after that, I fell asleep from exhaustion...

The doctor told me I was very lucky. I've been in coma for two weeks. He said that I had a guardian angel... And I know I did... I looked like a mess to say the least, but I would fully recover... I had to take a lot of rest... I was kept in the hospital for a couple of weeks to recover... The moment I first saw Ceylan, Terry and Meagan again, I was overwhelmed with happiness, and they hugged me tight... It hurt when they did but... I couldn't really care... They visited me often, and sometimes, they even smuggled some chocolate for me inside my room. I didn't like staying in the hospital, because the food sucked and all but... I didn't really had any choice. So you could probably imagine how happy I was that I could go home again a couple of weeks later...

The first thing I did when I got home was to take that passport picture of Cody. I scanned it with 700 DPI, which gave the picture a fairly large resolution. Once I opened the picture in Photoshop, I edited and resized the picture so that would fit a normal 5x7 picture frame. Cody's picture was printed in high quality at some photocopy shop. I gave Cody a nice place in the window sill. And I still look at him every day...