A glance into himself
#1 of Foxy Tales
_ Author's note
By the time you start reading this, I had already finished writing it. This may sound funny, but it means a great deal to me and it proves that I was able to finish it. You know the feeling... when you have all these great ideas in your mind... but don't know where to begin expressing and how to tie them all together? Or perhaps these lines won't become anything of any value and will just remain scribbled down in my notebook, never being seen by anyone else anytime... but I'm just talking to myself now..._
His inner drive
He was a young fox, his fur painted in the same colors as the autumn leaves, orange-red, with a snow-white underbelly, with wet, brown, sparkling eyes, his tail so long and fluffy, he could keep himself warm on all the rainy, cold, lonely nights.
His claws were sharp and precise, shaped into this form by all the events he endured, but he was a kind soul and never used them to harm any being, as long as he didn't use them in order to be able to survive, but he mainly fed on tree barks, some flower-honey here and there, insects and small rodents that he was able to catch, but this in the harsh seasons, when resources were scarce and he was forced to choose in his own survival or the survival of its prey, which wasn't a choice, really, that was up to him: as long as he came into this world and as long as he lived, he had the duty to stay alive and be all that he could be.
His muzzle wasn't very long, it was actually kind-of small and did not fail to express the kindness that was encased into him. The journey he took into existence hasn't been an easy one for him; he had to raise himself into educating, observing and teaching himself the ways of life, how "stuff works". The elders that raised him were not too experienced into how life spun its cycles and were always giving him the "safe" advice, not really letting him interact with anything, out of the fear that he might get hurt, but at the huge price of him not enjoying and discovering the joys that life has to offer.
For too long he was entrapped into his den, the den that has been built around his soul, his feelings and his receptor channels. When he realized all the things that he missed in life and when he figured out that many of those things he wasn't able to live because of his becoming of age, he decided to take his life into his own paws and decide for himself what's right and what's wrong for him, as no one really has the power to tell anyone else how to live their lives, especially since most of these animals didn't do such a good job with their owns. But this was tough for him... he felt that he was near the half of his lifespan and he missed out on so many great things... sure, he was sheltered, but he gladly would have taken the price of the mistakes he would have made into his heart, just as long as he could feel that he's alive and as long as he had a shot of finding all the beauties that living has to offer. At this point in his life he was happy even if bad things happened to him, just as long as those things were a direct consequence of his actions, he felt he was a part of things, not just a spectator to the scene of life.
Their passion
Two young foxes were embracing each other, she, cuddling at his chest and pushing her head more and more as if she wanted to become a part of him and he, grasping her with his paws and clinging on as he did not want to lose her no matter what would happen, they were both so deeply in love with each other they could not get enough of the sweet, drunk feeling. They were so happy together... he was gently petting her head and she loved it, she felt secure and all her worries in the world faded away when she was in his paws, he felt she was there for him, always understanding and patient, filling his heart with passion and giving him the energy to always push on, more and more into his dreams, desires, both becoming stronger and stronger into their relationship as time went by. This was their moment, a moment when the world was theirs and they were the only ones that mattered, indifferent to what happened around them, they were strong together and happy to have one another.
- I love you so much, he gently whispered in her ear.
She felt as the words touched her soul and filled her with hopes and dreams, the reason to be:
I love you, too, my angel... and with a little tear drop in the corner of her eye she looked up at him and whispered:
When I'm with you, I feel complete. I don't need anything else but your warm chest and your loving arms wide open - always there to protect me from all the worries and harm in the world, I am yours and always yours, forever.
He was deeply touched by her words and, gently pressing his nuzzle onto her nuzzle, he confessed to her:
- You give my life meaning. Without you, I'd just be an empty shell. You are the force that drives me, the only one that can bring order, calm and understanding and value in my life, without you I'd be so empty, my little soul... and as he let these words go he smiled to her with such kindness and purity she burst into a cry of love and emotion, she couldn't control herself anymore.
They were so deeply in love with each other that they really felt they were in another world, one of their own, where no one else but them existed in and time and space were infinite and everything was at peace and in sync with everything else and all feelings were pure, warm and truthful. He softly kissed her on her forehead as she held him in her paws and pulled herself even closer to his heart as she felt the warmth of his body getting stronger and stronger:
I'll give you wings, my love, he said, and I'll let you fly free and do whatever you want, it's all up to you, and as long as you want me by your side, I'll always be here for you, always having a shoulder for you to rest your weary head for whenever you need it or always sharing a smile with you, whenever you are happy. And I always want you to be happy besides me, always feel protected and strong; I shall never fail you...
Oh, my sweet, she couldn't contain herself any longer, you brighten my life, you give me hopes and dreams, you carry me on your wings of love to places I never thought existed, but I'm afraid I could be flying too close to the sun, everything seems so magical, so perfect... and yet, I can't feel but a bit frightened at the thought that I'm your first lover and that you may find someone else that is closer to your heart, that you never thought possible before...
Shush, he interrupted her, don't talk like that; I know my feelings are pure and I know how I feel and what I feel for you and you are the only fox for me...
Oh, my dear, you are so sweet, kind and gentle with me... sometimes I feel I don't deserve it...
Don't say such things, let us climb on these warm feelings that we have for one another and fly far, far away...
My sweet... I want you to be with me because you have chosen me over all the others, not because you don't allow yourself other choices... I've seen other female foxes burning you with their eyes... and you remain indifferent towards them... but for how long...
My love, I remain indifferent because you are the only one for me and I only feel right when I'm besides you and whenever you are far from me I feel sad and lonely and can only think about you and long for the moment that I can hold you in my paws again... I know other foxes are interested in me, but I don't care: I have chosen you because it's you and only you that makes me feel alive and gives any kind of meaning to my little life... my only concern is that you shine next to me and I hope that I can at least make you feel half of what you make me feel and I want to discover all of life's mysteries besides you, you're the only one that gives me this power, this meaning... my only desire is to look out for your good being as you look towards mine and everything will be fine... as long as you want me by your side... and I don't care if I live two thousand years or just two days... as long as those are near you, that is all that matters to me...
Oh, of course I want to spend my whole life near my wonderful, fearless fox, she replied...
I'm not fearless, he interrupted her. I'm afraid that there may come a day when you will walk away from me and not want me anymore...
Don't say that, she quickly intervened. I'll always be yours!
The dream
The two foxes fell asleep, holding each other in their paws and they both shared the same dream, a dream where they were a bird... a bird flying high into the night sky... its wings fully spread... it stretched as long as it could... trying to push its beak forward into the distance, trying to break the horizon... but this demanded a lot of energy which it replenished by eating a star or two which lay on its path... It stretched further and further, it flapped its wings harder and harder... trying to fly higher and higher... but this made it grow tired... wings started feeling heavier and more difficult to control... it felt a force beyond its understanding was trying to take it down... down to the ground... grabbing its whole body and pulling it downwards... but with its last gasp and power it opened its beak as much as it could and took a bite out of the moon... immediately it felt invigorated, as if it just began to take off into the wide unknown and it stretched its wings even more than ever before...
The reality
The snow-white underbelly fox opened its eyes from their slumber... only to realize the coldness and dampness of his empty cave... it's been a dream... it's all been just a dream...