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“Shit,” I cursed; this boss has been giving me trouble for the past half hour.

“Lost again” Dad responded from the front seat.

“Yeah,” I shut down the system and placed it on a make shift stand next to me. The scenery outside the window was certainly different then when I looked out an hour ago, “So how much longer to this new place?”

“Still some time away,” I couldn’t wait to get out of this dame car. Moving to a new place is never easy, it even worse when you have to move almost to the other side of the dame continent like I have to. “Val, we are about to pass your new school.”

“Dad I thought we talked about this.”

“We did and I was quite clear that you are going to school.” I slumped into my seat, “look it is better this way Valrez. Aren’t you exited to make some new friends?”

“No,” I argued, “why would I even need friends anyway?”

“Nobody is an island, Valrez. We also went ahead and applied you there, come Monday you’ll be going to Jackson High.” I just huffed and turned away from my dad, “Look, I understand why you are scared,”

“Do I look scared?”

“Yes, but this won’t be like last time. This is a new place, everyone you knew are states away, and you are far from them. You do not need to be scared.” The world is a much smaller place then Dad seems to think it is. Nobody is ever too far away to do anything.

We soon arrived at a gate to an apartment complex; Dad punched in a code and drove though the gate as it opened. The complexes looked nice enough, but look inside some of them and I am sure there are some fucked up shit in them. Dad parked the car in front of the buildings, “alright, here we are. I’ll go unlock the door, go stretch your legs a bit before moving the rest of the stuff inside.” I had no reason to wonder around, so I just started to pick up some boxes and followed Dad. The inside looked nice and the furniture we sent ahead of us was already positioned how Mom would have liked it. “We decided which would be your room, the second door on the left. Most of your things should already be there.”

I spent the rest of the day unpacking my stuff from boxes and finding a place for it. I had no issue with where my furniture was set, but deciding what electronic goes where was going to be a hassle. By the time I was finished, it was getting dark. I lay on my freshly covered bed when there was a knock on the door. I opened the door to see my Mother, “hey I brought some pizza.” I followed her to the kitchen where multiple boxes of pizza were opened and my Dad was piling slices on his plate, “hey leave some for us,” Mom grabbed a paper plate and took some slices off of Dad’s plate. I took a few slices and sat down at the table. We all were quite as we ate our pizza, “so Val, how do you like your new room?”

“It’s fine,” I responded.

“Is there an issue?”

“Nope,” I respond again.

“I see,” the tone of Mom’s voice told me she didn’t believe me, “anyway, I talked with our cable company and they said that they would send someone on Monday, so till then we have no internet or cable.”

“Alright,” I didn’t really know why I said that, just that it felt like I should.

“Also, we need to go shopping tomorrow, can you do that dear?”

“Yeah I could,” Dad muffled though a mouth full of pizza. Hard to believe he was a nurse before the move. We continued to eat in silence till Dad yelled “MOVIE NIGHT!”

“Jesus, Ed what was that?”

“Tomorrow night we can have a movie night.”

“Why,” I asked, “there is no need to.”

“I thought I might cheer us up a bit since you both look down. I can cook some steaks and watch some of our favorite movies.”

“I am up for it,” Mom injected, “I should be finished with most of my meetings before dinner tomorrow.”

“Go ahead,” I said as I excused myself from the table.

I closed the door then lay on my bed. Dad came knocked on my door, “Val can we talk?”

“What is it,” I yelled from my bed.

“Is something bothering you Val? You didn’t seem excited with my movie night idea.”

“I’m fine; I just don’t want to do movie night.”

“Alright then,” they canceled movie night and just spend the night like they always do.

Monday came and I was really too lazy to attempt to get out of bed. Dad had no issue with trying to get me up by knocking on my door till I opened it; he knocked for twelve minutes before I lost my patience. After doing some early morning grooming and breakfast, we left to go to my new school. The front of the school was filled with students and faculty dragging themselves around the parking lot. When we got out of the car a voice rang out, “are you the new student?” The voice belonged to an elderly woman, looked around sixty, as well as her fashion.

“Yes he is,” Dad reached her hand, “I am Edward Noden and this is my son, Valrez. I didn’t know teachers go out of their way to greet new kids.”

“No, I just happen to spot you and didn’t recognize Valrez here.”

“So how do we get to the front office from here?”

“I can take you there myself and we can drop Valrez here off at his homeroom along the way.” We both followed this old lady for a bit, “this is where you go first in the day every morning, your teacher should have everything ready for you.”

We said our goodbyes and I entered the room. The class looked like it was for English classes with everything I saw right off the bat. “So you are Valrez Noden?” the teacher said. This teacher was male and had a more modern fashion taste then the other lady, “this folder has everything you would need; schedule, locker, map, etc.”

“Alright,” I took the folder from him.

“You can sit anywhere you want during homeroom, just be ready to be called on in a bit.” I took a seat in the back as more students filled the room. When the bell rung, our teacher got up and was heading to the door, “okay before we begin, I have some news. We have a” he was interrupted by the door swinging open and nearly avoiding it, “what Fredrick!”

“Hey, Mr. Cullen,” Fredrick said. While Mr. Cullen was yelling at Fredrick, I was just staring at him. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could still look at his body. Nice, I thought to myself. After realizing what I thought, I buried my head into my folder. I really didn’t want to start off acting like some pervert.

“Valrez Noden,” Mr. Cullen yelled.

“Yes sir,” I stand at attention like I was in the army.

“I asked you to tell us about yourself.”

“Yes sir,” I took a deep breath and walked to the front of the class. “Hello, my name is Valrez Noden, I just moved here from Virginia because of my Mother’s work,” that was all I said. I never liked speaking in front of groups so I just kept it brief.

“Okay any questions for Valrez here?”

“Do you have a nickname?”

“Yeah, most people just shorten it to Val most of the time so I am fine with that.”

I answered a few more questions till I heard this, “what is wrong with you?”

“What,” the voice belonged to Fredrick.

“Fredrick Lowell, you will see me after class” Mr. Cullen yelled as the bell rung. I hurried out of the room after that.

The next couple months were uneventful, nothing serious happened in that time. I have been avoiding Fredrick completely in that time frame. What if he knew about me from before? Would he use that against me? Would he spread the word? I was completely paranoid about the thought of it repeating again. But at the same time I was almost enchanted by his body. His body type didn’t look all that special, but I kept staring at it whenever I see him. Something kept drawing my eyes to him. I should just keep my interaction with Fredrick to an outright minimal.

That statement lasted almost a week before it broke. I just arrived home from another day of avoiding Fredrick, my Father was taking groceries out of his car, “Hey Val, can you help me here?” I grabbed some bags from the car, “thanks Val.”

“No problem, Dad.”

When we put the bags into the kitchen, “Valrez do you mind putting some other cloths on?”

“Sure but why?” he never called by my full name unless he is serious.

“A friend and his family are coming over tonight.”

“Why?”

“As a thank you, it was because of his help I was able to get a job, so it would be the polite thing to have dinner with them.” Makes sense to me. After a shower and a change of clothes, I was ready for this dinner date with Dad’s friend.

When I went to the kitchen to check on Dad’s progress, I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw two people standing there, “why hello there you must be Valrez,” the older man started, “it is nice to meet you, I am Cain Lowell.” Even when Mr. Lowell offered his hand I didn’t shack it, I was too distracted by Fredrick being here.

“Val don’t be rude,” my Dad yelled behind me, “it is nice of you to make it tonight.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” both Mr. Lowell and Fredrick entered the apartment.

“Where are your wife and other son?”

“William won’t be able to make it tonight because of reasons. So Clair decided to stay behind with Will,” The way Mr. Lowell said ‘reasons’ set alarms in my head, “I should have said it before but we can’t stay for long.” You come for dinner but you can’t stay, those are red flags if I ever see one.

“That’s a shame; want to take some leftovers back with you?” Dad why aren’t you seeing what is wrong with this picture?

“That would be great, thank you.”

Damn it Dad, “oh shit, I still have that report to write. I need to go.”

“What about dinner?”

“Sorry this is important so I’m just going to skip.” The truth was I didn’t trust them. They set off so many alarms that I didn’t want to be in the same room as them.

A bit later there was a knock on my bedroom door. I thought it might be Dad here to talk to me about my behavior at dinner. I opened and was surprised with Fredrick standing in front of me. “Hey we need to talk,” he entered before I had the chance to close the door on him.

“About what,” I asked while waiting for a chance to kick him out.

“Well…about how I acted when we first met.”

“Mr. Cullen already had you apologize for your actions weeks ago, so we don’t need to speak about it.”

“Actually there is more to it,” what was he going with this, “so I decided to look up some info about you.”

“You did what?” He did what? He looked up info about me. He looked up info about ME!? I pace around my room almost like I was seconds from a panic attack, hell I may as well have a panic attack. He knows me, he knows my secret; my life is over, it is going to happen again.

“Val?”

“Get out,” I whimpered, “I want you out NOW!” I grabbed Fredrick by his shirt and forced him out of my room. After forcing him out, I started to barricade my door with everything I could use then I shut myself in my closet. How could have he known? I made sure I was so careful to make sure no one else find out. How did Fredrick learn about it?

When I left my closet it was already the next morning. The first thing I did was tell my parents about what happen last night. They decided I should stay home the rest of the week, but being home just feed my paranoia. Fredrick could have gathered a big mob in the time I stayed at home. Come Monday, I had to return to school and just face whatever Fredrick plans to do to me.

As I passed through the halls, it seemed like any other Monday morning; students talking about their weekends, begging for help with their homework they chose not to do, all that shit. I don’t get it, where is Fredrick and his minions?

I arrived at homeroom, with Fredrick thankfully absent at the moment. While I talked to Mr. Cullen about any news I missed, he entered the room. “Val”, he said, “I wanted to talk to you.” I back away as he approached, “Val?”

“So you know now, right? You know my secret?”

“Yeah I know about it. So I understand your actions somewhat.”

“So let me guess, the next day you told the entire school I was a cock loving fagot right!”

“What, no, I would never do that.”

“Bullshit,” I shouted, “you probably just came here to rub it in how you are going to fuck my life now don’t you.”

“No, Jesus Valrez, I came hoping we can be friends.”

Friends, it is such an odd word. That single word has caused me so much pain. I won’t let it happen a second time, “Fredrick let me be perfectly clear.” I stepped towards him and lean closed to his face, making sure to look him squarely in the eyes, “you and I will never be friends.”

I pulled away from him and head towards my desk, “why not,” Fredrick stopped me, “just because you’re gay, doesn’t mean you can have friends. I have no problem with your sexuality.”

“For now you don’t, but can you say the same an hour later? What about tomorrow, or hell next year? Can you say that exact same thing forever? No, you cannot. That is how some of them start out, saying ‘no problem’ and ‘I am not bothered by it’. Days pass and you start to think otherwise. ‘Is he flirting with me’ you think. So you start to stare at them, study them, trying to figure out what goes though his head. Then you experience fear, not the screaming kind, but a silent terror. You start to put distance between you and them. You look on your past and start to make conspiracies. You slowly realize just how much of a fool you were and start to hate them for manipulating you. But I am not done. You start to plan you revenge. It started out simple, just anonymous generic threats on the locker and Facebook. Then the threats start showing up in other more specific places. The threats and taunts seem to increase in violence, but you didn’t stop. You pretend to know nothing and proceed to just continue with them like normal. Then just when they go to you for comfort, you turn on them. You leave them to your new ‘friends’ to do whatever they want to him; and when they call out to you for help, you just leave, disgusted you called them your friend. Can you say that never once you would think of doing that to anyone you call a friend just because he was gay?” Fredrick didn’t respond, “Yeah just what I thought.”

I left the classroom with all my things. I didn’t know where I was heading off to; just that it was away from Fredrick. Once I found an isolated place I just planted myself their and cried. Tears rolled down my face and onto my pants. No matter how much time passed, my tears didn’t seem to stop coming. I couldn’t really tell why I was crying, just that I felt so sad about it.

Once my sobbing ended I heard my name called over the intercom. I reluctantly decided to head towards the front office. The halls were empty. I didn’t bother checking the time on the clocks while I made my way though the office but I assumed first period should have started now and everyone was in class.

Suddenly something grabbed me by the arm and pulled me. It came out on nowhere and very fast. I tried to regain control but the force used made it difficult to keep control of my balance and I fell on the floor. The room I was pulled into was the bathroom and there were two guys standing over me.

“Who are you,” I asked.

“You don’t need our names, just our cocks,” one of them said.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“We know you are a cock slut,” answered the other, “and you are going to suck our cocks.” He grabbed me by the hair and forced me to his crotch, “come on suck it slut.”

“Fuck you,” I did the only thing I could think of his and squeezed his dick as hard as I can. Even with the pain he guy refuse to let go of my head.

“You fucking shit,” the guy brought a knee to my face. The knee stunned me long enough for my hold to break, “we were doing you a fucking favor you slut.” He started to unleash a fury of punches to my head. His friend joined the beating by kicking me.

I tried to protect myself from the onslaught, but that didn’t seem to stop them in the slightest. My mind started to replay that day again, how similar it was to now. History is going to repeat itself all over again. “Valrez,” a voiced called.

“Who the fu-“he didn’t finish his sentence.

Even without looking I could tell all three of them where fighting. The fighting was violent and savage. Sounds of them hitting each other and the stalls filled the bathroom. Suddenly it was quiet. The only sound was the victors’ heavy breathing as he approached me. “Val, are you okay?”

“Fredrick,” I peeked out to see Fredrick in front of me. The two other guys lay unconscious on the floor, “you saved me?”

“Yeah I guess you can say that.”

“But why,” I stared at him, “After everything I said and did to you, why bother helping me?”

Fredrick was silent for a second, “I guess what you said earlier hit a cord with me.” He was silent again, “you been though a lot and you have been hurt pretty bad by someone you trusted, but does it justify about what you are doing? Does pushing people away before you get to know them fix what happened to you? I know you are still hurting from what happened because it wasn’t that long ago, but can you allow me to help you?”Fredrick stretched his hand out to me.

I didn’t say a word when I grabbed his hand, but I was happy. Something in my head to me I could trust Fredrick and I was happy I did it.

“thank you for telling me this Valrez,” my psychologist put down his clipboard and started to stretch his hand out, “that was an interesting story, thank you for telling me.” he handed me a box of tissues, “you were crying around the ending.”

“Oh sorry,” I took some tissues and dried my tears.

“No problem,” the psychologist returned to his notes, “I should say your condition improved drastically since our first meeting all those years ago. Soon you might not even come around anymore.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, when you first came by it was easy to tell you suffered from severe depression and anxiety from the bullying from before; but now most, if not all, of them seems to have vanished.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Anyway we are going to end today’s session here. I look forward to seeing you again in six months.”

I thank the doctor for his time and met up with Fredrick in the waiting room, “so how did it go in there?”

“It went good; he even said I might not need to come around anymore soon.”

“That’s good,” when we walked to the car I wrapped myself around Fredrick’s arm, “something wrong?”

“No, I just told the story of how we meet and stuff.”

“I see, you were a huge dick back then.”

“I know and I am sorry that I was so hostile to you.” I remember all the times after he saved me I tried to push him away, but he always came back and never stopped reaching out to me.

“I already forgave you for that,” Fred leaned close to me, “and I get my revenge by fucking you in the ass at night.” We both laughed when he said that, “but seriously, I am happy to have you in my life. You are very important to me, Valrez.”

“And your very important to me as too, Fredrick.”