The Hunger
#12 of A Lions Obsession
"Cloud....my angel....when will you see I did this for us," Squall whispered softly as he held Cloud's muzzle firmly in his grip. Cloud's blue orbs swirled as a maelstrom of emotions whirled behind them; anger; hate; loathing; misery. He hated Squall; hated his touch; hated everything about him but he couldn't do anything to escape him. Cloud tried to tear his muzzle away from Squall's grasp so he wouldn't have to gaze into his eyes, but Squall held firm. Instead of even accomplishing the slightest movement all he managed to do with cause a more painful grip against his muzzle as Squall held him firmly in place. The blond winced as he stared defiantly at Squall.
Squall sighed as he realized that still there would be no change in Cloud's demeanor. He hoped that in time Cloud would understand why he did the things he did. How deeply he felt for the blond angel before him. He loved the blond with his all; and that would never change. However, Cloud's stubborn behavior, Squall was sure, would give in to realize that what he did he did with the purest intentions.
The brunette watched the tense features of the boy's face held tightly in his grip; he hated seeing him like this. He missed how they were before; everything was moving along so perfectly. He had gained Cloud's affections; had his angel there in his arms willingly. But now....Squall frowned sadly as he watched what he saw as misguided emotions that burned in the wide blue orbs. Everything would have been perfect; would have gone smoothly but Zack... He had gotten in the way; ruined everything. If it wasn't for Zack then Squall and Cloud would be happy together and he wouldn't have to gaze into the blonde's angered eyes. He longed desperately to see the kindness and love he had seen within Cloud's eyes burn for him again.
"I know you felt it too Cloud; felt the same way I did...," Squall moved his lips closer to the blonds ear, "Forget about him; we were happy once ne'."
Cloud tensed as Squall's hot breath trickled against his ear his fists tightening behind his back; if it weren't for the rope binding his wrists he would have rung Squall's neck. He was forced to have his paws tied behind him due to the many occasions he tried to do just that; among other things. Cloud had always put up a fight. It hurt Squall to have to resort to binding his angels' wrists but the boy gave him no other choice. Until Cloud let go of his stubborn attempts at hiding his ‘true' feelings for Squall then the rope would just have to remain.
Cloud's fists balled behind his back as his jaw tightened; his words hissed dangerously low, "We were never happy; that was a lie, and so were the feelings you ‘think' I had for you.."
Cloud's head snapped painfully to the side as Squall raised his paw to come down on the blonde's cheek. Cloud's eye lids drooped but never closed; instead his hateful and enraged gaze locked firmly to Squall's own frustrated eyes.
Squall growled a bit as he kneeled down before the blonde and gently caressed the abused stinging flesh of his cheek, "I don't want to hit you. Don't say things like that; you're my angel. Understand Cloud, I love you and before Zack came back into the picture you were beginning to love me too. Why can't you see that? Why can't you just accept the truth for what it is?"
Squall's hopeful smile was dropped back into a frown as Cloud refused to meet his eyes and turned his gaze to the floor. The brunette pushed forward to kiss the forehead of his angel, "You will understand Cloud. I'll wait for as long as it takes for you to accept me. I love you Cloud, I really do..."
Cloud still refused to back any movement or eye contact to indicate that he had heard or felt anything. Squall knew that the battle was over for today; once his angel had shut himself off from him than any further words would go wasted upon deaf ears. He wouldn't react to anything.
Squall stood from Cloud as he went to exit the room leaving Cloud to sit on the mattress laid out on the floor for him.
The moment the door clicked Cloud's shoulders shook as his body began to quake uncontrollably. He wanted out; he didn't want anything to do with Squall. He wanted to be safe in Zack's arms knowing everything would be alright.
But everything wasn't alright; it was the furtherst thing from anything close to even O.K.. Nothing he tried worked.
Talking back; lashing out; attacking him; trying to run. Everything he had tried was dealt with immediately.
When he talked back he was silenced.
When he lashed out he was forced to submit.
When he attacked he was easily countered.
When he tried to run; he was easily captured.
The evidence to his feeble attempts were his now bound wrists and the soft shackle around his ankle. Yes, soft. Squall didn't want to hurt the boy so he had cushioned the inside of the shackle so it wouldn't bruise or rub painfully against his flesh. Cloud only wished that Squall had been so generous to do the same with his wrists; the rope could be quite painful.
Cloud allowed a irritated and helpless sigh pass his lips as he fell back against the mattress. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to imagine Zack's comforting smile; tried to seduce the others voice to speak aloud within the contents of his mind. He needed him now more than ever, but now he wasn't sure he would ever see the other again.
He wasn't sure how long it had been since he last laid eyes on his lover; but it seemed to be nothing short of an eternity. All he could do to pass the time was to imagine Zack. What he was doing; how he was getting along. If he was still searching for him; whether or not he was getting closer. He prayed Zack was literally just a step outside the door. He tried to convince himself every day that past that Zack would burst through the door and free him from his hell. Even after everyday past and Zack was no where to be found he never let the hope that he would certainly come the next day.
Cloud knew he couldn't rely on Zack to just show up; he knew that even though his many attempts proved futile that he had to continue fighting. He had to find a way to escape from Squall; to find his way back to Zack. To his friends; his home; Tifa; everyone and everything he held precious to him. He couldn't stay locked away here.
Cloud's eyes pinched tighter together as he searched his mind for something; anything that could lead him to freedom. Squall was not only strong but intelligent. He could be swayed by Cloud at times but really it didn't matter; anything to obvious would be picked up by Squall immediately. Cloud had tried to worm his way out of his shackle and bound wrists a few times; but Squall knew what he was doing before he even got a chance.
Cloud ground his teeth as he opened his eyes to stare blankly at the ceiling above him. His heart ached. He was beginning to think he would never get out of this place; out of Squall's grasp. He wanted; needed; desperately to leave. How long had he been here? How much long till he would be able to get out?
He hadn't so much as seen anything outside to suggest where they were; past the windows all he saw were dirt paths, trees, and wildlife. He knew Squall took them someone secluded; but how deep he wasn't sure. Even if he were to get away he would be found long before he could even reach a town. For all he knew Squall had dragged them miles out into the middle of no where. Considering where Cloud had found where Squall was keeping Zack hidden it wouldn't surprise him.
If he couldn't escape and Zack couldn't find him that what was he to do? Just ask; ‘Hey you think we could go out sometime in public so I can run away from you and scream like bloody murder?'... Didn't think so.
But what scared him most was if he was left here with Squall. Would he eventually break and give in? His immediate thought when he had first woken up in this place was that he would sooner commit suicide. But now... he wasn't sure. He most certainly wasn't willing to throw his life away. And at the same time he was disturbed that on more than one occasion he had to admit that some of what Squall had said; no matter how twisted it really was; was partly true.
He did feel something towards the lion; and he was most certainly attracted to him. What Squall did was unforgivable, but had Zack never been in the picture in the first place would he have been with Squall? Had Zack really left and Squall hadn't done the things that he had done he would have still continued to see him. Cloud wasn't sure how far they would've gotten or how long they would have lasted but it was a possibility that things might have remained steady between the two.
Of course Zack never really left on his own accord; and the way that Squall hurt his Zack.. Yes his. Maybe Squall's possessiveness was rubbing off on him.
It was scary to think that he and Squall could've ended up together; what was scarier to think about was the fact that if Zack didn't factor into the equation... he may have been content with having Squall to himself.
But that was besides the point. The point was he was stuck here; left with nothing but his thoughts and Squall's company.
Squall would never let me leave...
An hour or so later and Squall reentered the room to announce dinner; he slowly made his way to Cloud's shackle to release the object binding his angel, "I wish you wouldn't force me to do this..."
Squall then took hold of the ankle and gently caressed it to release any discomfort that may have accumulated in the appendage. Squall stopped immediately and froze when he felt something tickle his cheek and a warm cheek press against his shoulder. Turning his gaze to his shoulder he took in the sight of Cloud's unruly blonde hair; the source of the tickling sensation teasing his cheek. And witnessed the blonde leaning against him with his head buried in his neck.
A gasp left Squall's lips as a felt Cloud's warm breath run over the dip in between his neck and shoulder, "I..I thought about.. What you said.."
Squall still frozen wasn't able to respond. Instead he licked his lips carefully to moisten them as he tuned his ears to only hear the delicate voice of his angel waiting to here more words pour from his love's delicate pink lips.
Seconds seemingly turned to minutes ticked by as they stayed silent until finally Cloud lips ghosted over Squall's neck as he spoke, "I-I was...I didn't see it.. Before I mean..."
"You mean to say... what you felt," Squall asked hopeful as he moved his free paw to the back of the blonde's head to play with the backs of the snow cats ears, that always seemed to stay hidden in the unruly spikes.
He received a nod in response and this further encouraged Squall, "Cloud; what do you feel...?"
Squall felt the boy tense against him; their bodies so close. Squall to smell and feel everything that was Cloud; it was intoxicating and he so longed for the contact. Sure Cloud's disobedience hadn't deterred him before, but this was different. It was Cloud who was initiating this contact. It was Cloud willing to get close to him; so close it could be considered intimate. Squall shivered against the other feline as he felt Cloud's chest push further against his.
Squall didn't want to push to far; not when he was making this much progress; he carefully reached behind Cloud and cautiously loosened the rope binding to free his paws. He knew Cloud wouldn't eat unless he fed himself; he was to proud to have Squall feed him like a child.
Squall watched Cloud's movements gauging what the boy would do; if the boy swung he would just have to tie his arms back again. He wasn't dumb enough to allow reason to speak softly in his mind as a reminder that this might all be an act to catch him off guard.
But the movement he watched startled him; no surprised or rather shocked him. Cloud launched his arms forward to wrap them tight around Squalls' neck in a passionate hug. Squall's eyes wide and his breath hitched as the blonde nuzzled his neck.
"I'm sorry...I just.. Need time..," Cloud muttered whisper caught Squall's ears and he could feel his heart nearly skip a beat. Cloud was really serious this time. He really wanted to reconsider his stubborn attempts at avoiding the obvious. He was finally admitting what he felt; well ok so he was getting ahead of himself but he knew they were only a step away from Cloud admitting everything.
Squall was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize Cloud calling out for him for the third time. When Squall looked up he saw that Cloud had sat back on his legs and was looking at him with a look close to worry and anxiousness.
Squall smiled softly as he leaned forward and kissed the leopards forehead; and for once Cloud didn't tear away from his lips. Instead the boy blushed and slowly allowed his gaze to fall to his paws a small smile tugging the corner of his lips. Squall found the image of his angel breath taking as he himself smiled brightly. A smile that he wasn't sure he would be able to share with Cloud until much farther down the road. He was glad the blonde seemed to be coming around; more than just glad; ecstatic.
Squall watched the pale pink lips part slightly as Cloud spoke softly, "C-Can we eat now, I'm... hungry...," Cloud's blue orbs caught with Squall's own soft gaze.
The brunette chuckled softly and nodded, "Yes of course... I made us a roast; I hope you like it."
Cloud's blush deepened as he looked off to the side, "I will... Your... cooking was always good," Cloud turned his eyes back to Squall, "I... enjoy it."
Pride swelled at the simple statement; something that seemed so small and insignificant made Squall's heart soar, "Thank you..."
Squall stood and offered a paw; Cloud slowly took it and the two rose and made their way to the dining area where Squall already laid out dinner. A smile crossed across Squall's lips as they moved to into the next room; unnoticed to him was the balled fist opposite to the paw he held limply at Cloud's side.