Rendezvous
I squeeze some gel into my webbed paws and rub it into the fur on my scalp. My hair needs to be just right for tonight. After all, I want to look my best for when I finally head out to meet Alex at the restaurant. It's been way too long since I last saw him...over a year, at least. I mean, sure, we keep in contact over the internet. Who doesn't these days? But words on a screen just aren't the same as sitting at a table and looking into the dark blue eyes of that gorgeous wolf...listening to him talk in that calm, almost eloquent voice that I love so much.
Taking one last look in the mirror, I dash out the front door and hop into my car. It rumbles to life as I turn the ignition. The dashboard clock reads 6:47 PM; not much time left to get to the restaurant. Speeding might help, but probably not enough to get me there on time, so I decide against it. Besides, if I get pulled over, It'll hold me up even more, and I really don't need another ticket on my paws.
Traffic isn't too much of a problem at this hour. Rush hour tends to die down at around six in this part of the city. The stoplights, however, prove to be very menacing; I can't hit more than two intersections before I meet the maniacal crimson gaze of another light. I grip my paws, around the vinyl wrapped wheel in an anxious rage. You are NOT going to screw with the first night in god knows how long that I get to spend with Alex, I think to myself. The light seems to ignore my silent cursing because it waits another 30 seconds before finally allowing me passage through the intersection. My paw slams down on the accelerator. The engine roars and sends my car flying further down the road to my destination.
Finally I reach The Canterbury. By most standards it's a fairly middle class restaurant, but considering my income, it's quite ritzy. I search for a parking spot, finding a space close to the doors by sheer luck. I get out and lock the door behind me. A few steps later I hear a familiar voice call out to me.
"Hey, Matt! Over here!" I turn my head towards to call to see Alex sitting on a bench in front of the building. The gray wolf looks stunning, to say the least. He looks like he's just come from a business meeting, which probably isn't too far from the truth. That black suit, the matching pants, the white shirt, and the tie...damn it all if that tie choice wasn't intentional. It matches his eyes perfectly. He smiles, his black lined lips curling up his dark gray muzzle. "Thought I might have given you bad directions. Glad I'm not as navigationally challenged as I thought I was. Come, have a seat. I've already checked us in. They'll have a table ready in about ten minutes."
I pad over to the bench and sit as well as I can. My thick tail doesn't fit too well behind me on this bench. Figures, I guess. Not too many places this far inland have benches to accommodate otter tails. After I get as comfortable as I can, I look at Alex and say, "Thanks for taking time out of your schedule for a dinner. I know it's probably not easy for ya. I mean, with you traveling around all the time and stuff."
Alex chuckled. "Really, Matt, it's my pleasure. It's not everyday I happen to get a business deal that sends me out this way, and you know how much I enjoy your company."
"I know you do. My boss is terrified you're going to buy him out." I can't help but grin as I say this.
"You twit, you know what I mean. Besides, if my superiors were interested in your bosses company, they would've bought him out by now." He said with a wink. "So how are things with you? Anything happen since I last got to talk with you?"
I remember the last big conversation we had about a week and a half ago. Things we're doing so much better with me then. "Well, not really, but I don't want to bog you down with any of that crap. I just want to have a good time tonight."
Alex's tail sways gracefully behind him. I watch it out of the corner of my eye, transfixed on the smooth motion of that long, silky furred appendage. "Matt, I don't mind talking about problems you might be having. I enjoy helping you out. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know...I just feel like I'm always whining about stuff to you, and I don't wanna seem like a whiny emo or anything." My ears flatten with embarrassment and shame as I tell him this.
He reaches out his arm over my back and rests it on my opposite shoulder, pulling me a bit closer which scrapes my tail along the wood of the bench a little. "Matt, you're one of my favorite people in the world. I really don't mind listening to things in your life that might not be going so well. And besides, you're quite young. You never know, I might have gone through similar issues when I was your age."
The reassuring paw on my shoulder moved down my arm and stroked gently at my button-up shirt. Damn, he really knows how to pick at my feelings, doesn't he? "Eh, just worried about school, work, relationships, and some crap at home with the family. Nothing too serious. Seems like my parents have been fighting more and more lately, and my brother leaving town for college isn't helping matters. I swear they're both empty nesting, but neither of them will ever admit it. I'll be fine once the semester starts and I'm out of the house most of the day. And work's just stressful because of everything going on with the economy right now. They're panicking, you know? Anyways, that's it in a nutshell."
A short, stocky fox dressed in what looked like the restaurant's uniform padded out the front door, calling out, "Alex Roland, Table for two."
"Oh, our table's ready. Shall we continue this conversation inside?" The wolf said, offering a paw to help me up. I take it with a smile and follow him into the restaurant.
The place isn't too bad. There are a few paintings hung up on the walls and a few tanks with exotic species of fish decorate the place. Least it isn't one of those tacky restaurants where they hang up anything they find in the dumpster on the wall. The host seats us in a secluded booth near the kitchen and hands us the menus. I look over what they have to offer. Not much strikes my interest for the first couple pages, but then I see a lemon glazed salmon meal that looks absolutely salivating. I set my menu down and wait for Alex to make his choice, playing with the silverware as a minor distraction.
"Hmm...Well, I think I've made my choice. How about you?" He says to me, snapping my attention back to him.
"Me too, I think. What are you getting?"
"Well, I know it can't be good for me at my age, but the bacon and guacamole hamburger is singing a siren song I simply can't ignore."
"Doesn't sound bad at all. I was thinking of getting that salmon dish, myself."
"Excellent choice, I think. So, about what you were telling me outside...care to talk about it more? I mean, you covered most of your problems, but you didn't touch up on what's wrong with your relationships."
A knot forms in my stomach. I really wish I hadn't told him that...god I'm an idiot. I really don't know how well I can skitter around this topic without revealing too much to him. "Well...um...I don't really know what's going on, to be honest. I've been through so many relationships the last year or so that I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong, if I'm just picking out the wrong guys, or if it's all just in my head." This is partially true, at least in the whole relationship category. I haven't had the best streak of luck lately and I really have been wondering some of these things. The other issues I'm having right now though, I keep hidden in the shadows of my mind.
"Well, you're still quite young. I don't think it's terribly wrong to experiment with relationships early on in life. You never know what you're going to like until you try it out. You know? I never would have thought I'd end up with a guy like Christopher, but here I am years later and I can't see myself with anyone else." Alex smiles. I can hear his tail thumping against the seat of the booth as he says this. The knot in my stomach tightens, but I try not to let it show. "True, we are a bit more open in our relationship than most couples are, but with me traveling around all the time, I think it works out pretty well."
I nod in agreement with him. Just then, the waiter, a rather timid looking deer, comes to take our orders. We relay our choices to him, and Alex surprises me by adding an order of onion rings to the meal. He knows how much I love 'em. The waiter walks off to the kitchen, leaving Alex and me once again in our secluded conversation. He stares at me with those dark blue eyes, reaching out his paws and resting them on my own tan paws. The warm contact and the benevolent gaze makes all the worry I've been feeling momentarily vanish.
"Just remember Matt, you are an incredibly sweet person. Not only that, but you're also very intelligent, and have a lot to offer to the world. Not to mention," he chuckles, squeezing my paws, "You're quite the looker, if I do say so myself. You're a fantastic person, and I know you'll find the perfect guy for you someday."
The sincerity of his tone makes me almost lose it. I try my best to hide my emotions from him, but it's hard. I'm not sure if he knows how what he's just said affected me. We've always had a slight tension with each other for reasons I can only guess at. I mean, we're always flirting with each other, whether we mean to or not, whenever we chat. Also, the brief period in which I got to hang out with him when we first met was one of the best times in my life. The thing is, even though I'm not sure if it's love, I've certainly felt a hell of a lot more connection with him that I have with almost any other person I have before.
I also sense that he might have some feelings beyond friendship towards me himself. That just makes the situation that much harder, in my opinion. I know he's twice my age and I know he's never outside his hometown for long whenever he travels, but those aren't the reasons I hide my feelings. I've had bad experiences before with being a third wheel in a relationship and I refuse to muck up what Alex and Chris have because they seem genuinely happy together. Granted, they do have an open relationship, but it's simply not a chance I'm willing to take, no matter how much I want to test it out.
I clear my throat. "Anyways," I say in hopes of steering the conversation elsewhere, "What exactly brings you to town this weekend? I mean, what company are you trying to make a deal with?"
Alex regales me with the details of his latest business venture, during which both our appetizer and dinners come. We eat, and I enjoy the rest of the conversation, which includes my schedule for the semester, my future travel plans, and stories of what's happened to both us in the last couple of weeks.
An hour later I'm completely stuffed. Despite what others may say about the place, this restaurant was quite enjoyable, and I dare anyone to try and find salmon as good as the one I just had at this price. I go to get my wallet out, but Alex halts me. "No, no, Matt, don't worry. I'll take care of it. After all, I'm the one who dragged you out here."
"Alex, you really don't have to drag me anywhere. I'm more than willing to make time for ya. You know that," I tell him. I almost make a remark about places he can drag me to, but I catch myself before I speak. "Sides, I have a job too. I'm happy to split the cost with ya."
"I know you are, Matt, but I insist." A laugh escapes his mouth and he winks at me. I figure I'd better not argue and I let him pay for the meal. He latches his paw into my own and lifts me to my feet. "After you, Mr. Otter." he says to me. Obliging, I pad to the restaurant entrance with him following close behind.
The cool night air brushes through my thick fur. The tan areas around my fingers and toes seems to be a bit more sensitive to the wind's caress. The soft sounds of pawpads behind me tells me Alex is moving around a bit.
"Damn, it's chilly tonight...how can it be so hot during the day and so cold at night? I don't know how you can live here." He says with a slight chatter in his voice.
It's my turn to laugh. "Well, unlike you, I've lived here my whole life. Plus, you're probably not used to desert conditions where your from, and even though it might not look it, this place is a desert."
"Duly noted. Well, I might head back to my room for the night to escape this cold." He says. "Care to come with me? We could watch a movie or something."
A chill that has nothing to do with the weather runs through my spine. I'm not sure what I should do. I definitely want to go back with him, but I'm wondering if all he really wants to do is watch a movie or if he has ulterior motives. The idea of intimacy with him sends a wave of hormones coursing throughout my entire body. My heart beats faster and my tail twitches.
"You know, I really wish I could, Alex, but I'm starting school in like three days, and I need to get all my stuff together and get ready for it." I tell him. My libido screams various insults and profanities at me, but I'll deal with it later. As much as I want to take the chance, I can't. I won't let myself get tangled up in another relationship disaster like the ones before. He's too good of a person to deserve that.
The wolf nods, his ears lowering a bit. "Okay, I understand. I was in your place once, and I know how hectic going back to school can be. I'll be here until Sunday though, so if you get some time, feel free to give me a call, okay?"
I nod silently. I feel awful because he seems hurt that I won't go with him, but it's something I think we're both going to have to deal with. "Thanks for the dinner tonight. I really had a good time. And I'll be sure to catch up with you some more once I get all my stuff in order," I say. The canine approaches me, wrapping his arms around my torso and pulling me into a tight hug. I swear I feel him rub his nose along the edge of my ear. I return the hug, resting my head against his shirt. The warm, soft fur below the fabric cushions my head and fills me with his lupine scent. Comfort blankets me again, and I can't help but imagine what life might be like if it were possible for us to be together.
What feels like several minutes passes before he lets go. "You'd better get going if you have as much to do as you say you do. I'll see you soon, okay Matt?" He brushes his paw along my cheek, then turns around, padding off to his rental car.
"You will, don't worry. I'm not going to let ya leave until I see ya at least once more." I wave to him, padding off to my own car. The drive home isn't too bad. What little traffic there was has all but vanished, which is lucky because my mind isn't exactly on the road. Instead, I'm thinking about the evening and the whole situation I've caught myself up in. I do take into account what Alex had to say, however. And he's right; I am young, and I do have a lot of life to go through before I can find the right person. I just hope I can find someone like Alex. I push down harder on the accelerator and speed down the highway back home, hoping that my parents won't bitch me out about where I've spent the last couple of hours.