FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

'Lunch is served.' He rumbled, his accent betraying his local roots.

'Excellent!' Said Oxfold, gesturing to me to stand and follow him through to the dining room. I followed after him in to get another cavernous wood-panelled room. Instead of a table large enough to seats and entire rugby team, there was a small finally carved dining table that looked rather out of place in the centre of the room.

'I believe you've met my employees,' said Oxfold, 'I do hope that they were not too rude to you.'

'No,' I replied, 'but normally the parish priest gets his invitations in the post!'

'Yes, but you see, what I wish to speak to you about is of a sensitive nature. Anyway,' Oxfold continued, 'What do you think of my small staff? I have always been led to believe that priests need to be a good judge of character.'

This abrupt change in the conversation took me aback, I scratched the white flash on my muzzle (something that I often did when stressed or confused) and gazed briefly out of the window to the sunlit meadows beyond.

'Well,' I said, 'they don't seem like the normal type for service in a country house.'

Oxfold lent back in his chair, which elicited a loud creaking of wood.

'Now, it's interesting you would say that.' Said Oxfold, 'Bert Ursus came to work here in my father's day. Of course, Bert was employed as a gamekeeper; my father was rather old-fashioned in that way. I don't think he let any of the bears we had on staff in the house! I find that Bert is an eminently trustworthy and discreet household manager. Tell me, what do you think of young Gerald?'

'I didn't think I would meet another city pup out here.' I replied.

'Yes, he's not a native of the village. I discovered him when he tried, badly, to pick my pocket. Well, I say I found him, Bert punched him and sat on his chest until the police arrived.'

I couldn't conceal my surprise and cocked one of my ears up.

Oxfold burst out laughing at my reaction: 'Yes, it wasn't the most orthodox of introductions, but as we waited for the police I got to talking to the lad and realised that he is a fox of amazing potential. As he explained to me that he was, at that time, living on the streets I decided not to press charges. Instead, I offered him the position here and a room in the Hall. Of course, as I'm sure you've now experienced, young Gerald has a lot to learn in terms of manners and polite company, but he's young and he's smart.'

As Oxfold said this yet another door swung silently open and both Ursus and Gerald entered. Both were bearing silver trays, the plates were removed from the trays and placed in front of us in the manner of a fine restaurant. The pair left a silently as they had arrived; this the only sound of their departure is another click as the door closed. As the door closed, I noticed Oxfold's manner change. The smile disappeared from his features and he lent forward to stare at me intently. I had to resist the urge to scratch at the flash on my muzzle. After a moment Oxfold lent back again, and said:

'You're a crossbreed aren't you?'

'Err, yes,' I replied, taken back at this shocking lapse in etiquette, 'My father was a Labrador and my mother a collie.'

'I only mention this,' Said Oxfold apparently unaware of his rudeness, 'Because traditionally the village has only ever had pure breeds. Of course, you are an outsider - you said you were a city pup?'

'Indeed, but from a countryside family originally. My mother's family have been farmers in the Borders for hundreds of years. My father was an academic as well as a parish priest.'

I didn't know why I felt I had to share this with someone I barely knew, it was just something about the force of Oxfold's personality.

'I'm not sure why your bishop has sent you here.' Said Oxfold, 'We've got on perfectly well without a vicar for years. Oh, Father Alfred used to come over on a Sunday, but we barely noticed him. I feel that it is my duty to put you in the picture about how this village works.

'You see, we have certain ancient ways; of course, they are only historical traditions, but the villagers feel it important to continue to observe them. My advice would be to you, Father, not to look too closely at these harmless folk customs. The feeling in the village is that our customs help our community to thrive. These traditions put a certain value on purity of breed, as you aren't a pure breed it could well be that any interest you show in our customs may not be well accepted. The villagers put a very great importance on our purity customs.

'I would think it best if you were to concentrate on your flock. I'm sure you're aware that my family makes a large donation to the church each year.'

I could feel my hackles beginning to rise - I had never taken kindly to people trying to control me. I nodded and said, suppressing a growl,

'Thank you for your concern, Mr Oxfold, but I am here to minister to all who live in this community.'

Oxfold narrowed his eyes at me, but nodded.

'It was just some friendly advice.' He said, 'Have you heard about our new schoolteacher? I believe that she's moving here from the city as well.'

The sudden change in the conversation took me aback, I paused and then replied,

'Yes, Anna said she was meeting her. I hadn't realised that she was an urbanite to.'

'Indeed she is,' said Oxfold, 'Well, it was good to meet you, but I must be getting on. Gerald will show you out and I'm sure that Bert will be more than happy to drive you back into the village.'

And with that, my lunch was at an end - sadly untouched. Be that as it may, I was strangely relieved to be able to get out of the Hall; Oxfold's interest in me seemed to be more than just the polite relationships that I had expected as parish priest with the local squire. I sensed that behind the pleasant exterior he was an animal driven, but by what I was unsure. On our walk out to the car, Gerald was much more talkative than before.

'So, you're a city pup too?' He said.

'Yes,' I replied, 'I was brought up in central Newton, not far from the cathedral.'

'Ah,' He said, looking at me sharply, 'One of those posh pups from the Cathedral School?'

So this was where the conversation was going. In Newton there was, when I was living there, a certain disdain towards the families that lived around the cathedral and in the cathedral close. Most of us went to the Cathedral School and it had an unhappy reputation of being a school that was not part of its city. In fact, the entire cathedral was generally disliked by the regular Newtonites. When I was growing up, the bishop and the dean both had as little to do with the city as possible. They were both priests in an old-fashioned mould, one a cheetah and one a lion - they hankered after the ancient rights that the city's charter had given to the cathedral; and that didn't make them any friends. Sadly, it rubbed off on everyone who lived in the cathedral's immediate vicinity, at least as I saw it, all of the adults.

'Yes, I did go to the cathedral school, but my family moved away when I was little.'

Gerald just grunted at this, it seemed that his talkative moment was over. We walked to the car in silence, where Bert waved me into the back seat and pushed the door closed behind me. The car purred into life and we crunched away up the gravel drive.

On the drive back into the village, I found myself lost in recollection, my mind transported back to the cathedral, to my first post after I have left the seminary and had completed my curacy. It was not long after Bishop George had come to the diocese, he was working on integrating the cathedral community with the rest of the city. I was installed to reinvigorate cathedral choir, to recruit young animals from across the city. I had always loved the cathedral building, its soaring towers that rose high over the surrounding mediaeval buildings. I had always had this love affair with ancient and holy places - I loved the feeling of a living history, of a place that had been loved before. Before I could get any more lost in my memories, the car slid to a halt outside parish church. I let myself out and before I had even stepped fully onto the pavement the car was gone again.

I didn't really need to be at the church, but I was happy to have the chance to sit and mull over what had happened at lunch. Now that I was away from Oxfold Hall I felt much calmer, the sun was shining brightly and the long grass in the churchyard waved in the gentle breeze. I placed one paw on top of the low churchyard wall and vaulted over. As I reached the point of no return in the vault I heard two voices laughing from the shadows near the church porch. I landed on all fours, shook myself and straightened up. The laughter continued and now I could make out that Anna and someone I thought I knew were standing in the shade. I waved a paw and jogged over to them, I just couldn't make out why they hadn't stopped laughing.

'Father Francis!' Laughed Anna, pointing, 'Just look at your cassock!'

I looked down and to my embarrassment I realised that my cassock had caught itself around my tail during my leap and that I looked, frankly, ridiculous. I decided that if I were going to look ridiculous, I would be comfortable and ridiculous so I undid the buttons on my cassock and pulled it off over my head. Once I had extricated myself from the garment I felt much more comfortable even if I was just standing there in shorts and a black priest's shirt. For a moment I stood there enjoying the breeze around my legs, but then my embarrassment came crashing back when I realised who Anna's companion was. It was Laura Cavia!_ No,_ I thought, not Laura, I haven't seen her in years!

Laura put her paw over her mouth to suppress the laughter.

'Francis! I see your dress sense haven't got any better since university!' Laura said.

It must have been five years since I had last seen Laura, no longer was she the dumpy guinea pig I had known from Anskar's University, rather she was lithe and athletic; but her easy smile and her constantly flicking heart-shaped ears were still pure Laura. I was dumbfounded, I had been such close friends with Laura but we hadn't kept in touch. I was glad of my dark fur as she was unable to see the blush that was surging from my foot paws up towards my muzzle. Thankfully, Anna interrupted my embarrassment by saying:

'I was going to take Laura home for tea, I wonder if you'd like to join us as well?'

I nodded, and we set off out of the churchyard and across the road to the village green. As we cut across the village green, and are set to interrogating me and Laura.

'How did you meet Father Francis?' She asked.

'Well,' Replied Laura with a smile, 'I was reading history at Anskar's - in my second year - when this puppy barged into my room shouting about how the squirrels were coming and that we all had to hide. Then he realised that he had barged into the wrong room and disappeared as fast as he could.'

I put my head in my paws and groaned.

'But, I properly met him a few days later.' Laura continued, 'It turned out that this bonkers pup was taking the same political history lectures as I was. The look on his face when he walked into the lecture theatre the next day was just a picture!'

I groaned again and feigned interest in the wild flowers in the grass.

'Fair play to him though,' said Laura, 'He walked right up to me and apologised. He never did explain the squirrel thing though. Anyway, Father Francis? How long have you been a priest?'

I looked up from the flowers.

'What?' I said, 'Oh, me... About four years now.'

'Never!' Laughed Laura, 'Nerdy Francis the gamer is all grown up and respectable!

'You know what?' Said Laura looking at Anna, who had crammed her paw into her mouth to stop her laughter from escaping, 'It was Francis Shepherd, sorry, Father Francis Shepherd it was voted most likely to end up in police custody for stupid behaviour. If I remember rightly, his yearbook photo was of him with a traffic cone on his head. He didn't want to be wearing it, but he'd got it jammed on so tightly, he couldn't get it off in time before the photo.'

This was just too much for Anna who burst out in peals of laughter and ended up doubled over gasping for air. For my part, I just wished that the ground would swallow me up. In order to change the subject I looked at Laura who was busy patting Anna on the back, and said:

'So, how about you? I'm just annoyed I haven't got any embarrassing anecdotes to share.'

Laura grinned at me and wrinkled her nose.

'Oh nothing much. Do you remember Mike Buck? Well, we got married last spring.'

Congratulations!' I answered, 'Didn't you say that if you and Mike were the only two animals left in the world, you would become a carnivore just so you wouldn't have to put up with him?'

'You had to bring that up.' She said with a smile.

'Squirrels.' I muttered back.

'Fair enough. Look, Mike's changed, he's mellowed. He's working for the Equine Savings Bank and he's got himself a transfer to the Amblehead branch. You two ought to meet and have a catch up.'

'The last time we met,' I said, 'I think he tried to glue my tail to a bench in a bus stop.'

This again overwhelmed Anna with laughter, her shrieks echoing back off houses and the church.

'Stop... Stop,' She said, 'I can't take any more, I think I'm going to burst.'

'Laura,' I said, 'I think we are scaring the normal.'

This elicited an amused grunt from Laura, who replied:

'It's just like university again. Are you sure you're all grown up and respectable?'

'You'll just have to find out.' I said, trying my best to look holy, and failing.