FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Maximus sat in his room in silence, his gaze fixed on the floor as the events of the day replayed in his mind on an endless loop. He didn't know how much time had passed.

He couldn't remember when he'd sat down. Couldn't tell how long he'd been sitting there like that — unmoving, in that tiny, lonely room.

The only light came from the window, and even that was fading. The sun had already dipped behind the mountains, leaving only a faint dusk-glow creeping in through the glass.

An oil lamp sat unlit on the table beside his bed. The door — thankfully replaced after Rilo had smashed through it during the KoDokugumon fight — stood shut.

The hallway beyond was quiet. Too quiet. He could just barely detect the scent of food wafting in from beyond the manse — something being cooked. Dinner, probably. The other students must've gone to eat by now.

The thought made his stomach twist. He hadn't eaten since that bowl of soup at Nagata's house. That had been… what? Over a day ago? Longer since he'd had anything solid.

How was he still standing? He didn't know.

He didn't care.

A knock at the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He blinked. “Uh… Come in," he called, his voice hoarse from disuse.

The door opened with a quiet creak. A Lekismon stepped into the room.

It took him a moment to recognize her — Thalassa. He'd seen her earlier that day, masked and poised with that medallion on her chest. Now, she wore only her poncho, the soft fabric draped over her shoulders and back.

“Hello," she said.

Her voice was… soothing. Serene. Like the sound of running water over smooth stones. Just hearing it brought a faint warmth to his chest — a kind of peace he hadn't felt all day.

He remembered what Rilo had told him: she worked with the medics at the Citadel. Maybe that calming presence was part of why she was good at her job, calming her patients before tending to them.

“Hi," Maximus replied, though his voice lacked life.

“My name's Thalassa," she said gently, pulling a chair over and sitting down without ceremony. “You're Maximus, correct?"

“That's right." He tried to meet her gaze, but found himself faltering, eyes drifting away.

It was hard… harder than he expected to look her in the eye. Hard to face anyone right now.

Thalassa didn't press him. She allowed the silence to speak for them both, as Maximus sat, hesitant, staring at the floor between the legs of her chair. The quiet stretched for what felt like an eternity, each moment deepening the pit of disgust in his chest.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

“I lost control," he said softly. “I don't remember what happened… All I remember is… rage."

Thalassa nodded slowly. “That's why I'm here," she replied.

Another silence followed. Maximus didn't answer, and Thalassa still didn't push. She simply sat, hands folded in her lap, her pink-red eyes fixed gently on him. Patient. Present.

“I'm sorry," he muttered.

Seeing the opening, Thalassa leaned forward, her voice flowing with the same serene calm that had followed her into the room.

“You're hurting," she said. “Not just physically… something deeper. The pain of a wounded heart."

She paused, letting the words settle.

“You… know about me?" Maximus asked, voice hollow.

“A little," she admitted. “I know you arrived here recently. And that you suffered something terrible before you did." She tilted her head slightly. “But I'd rather hear it from you — and only if you want to. If talking about it would help, I'm here to lend an ear…"

She smiled gently, brushing one of her long ears aside. “No pun intended."

Maximus didn't laugh. But the faint twitch in his cheek suggested he almost did. Still, he couldn't meet her eyes. He wrestled with the decision inside himself, torn between the need to let it out and the fear of reliving it.

“I… I don't know if I can," he admitted.

“I understand," she said. “And I know I can't fix it. But I can sit with you in it… if you'll let me."

The internal conflict intensified, emotions colliding like waves against a cliff.

Maximus clenched his fists.

He wanted to speak — to pour it all out. To scream, to cry, to make someone understand. But his pride kept latching onto him like shackles, whispering that showing pain meant showing weakness. And he couldn't be weak. Not again. Not after what happened.

But beneath that pride, rage boiled.

The anger at Talbot — that hateful creature. The fury that still smouldered behind his eyes, threatening to burst from his chest. But worst of all… was the anger at himself. His failure. His helplessness. The awful truth that, when it had mattered most, he hadn't been strong enough to protect the one who needed him; Maverick was gone, because he hadn't been able to protect him…

His breath hitched.

“I should've stopped him," he whispered.

Thalassa's expression didn't change — no shock, no judgment. Just quiet presence.

“I saw what he was going to do… I knew what he was capable of… and I still couldn't stop him…" His voice cracked. “I was too slow… too weak…"

His eyes burned, but no tears came yet.

“And then they tell me I scared her," he went on, voice rising. “They think I tried to hurt her… But I can't even remember what I did!"

He slammed his fists against his thighs, his whole body trembling now. “What if I'm becoming – no… What if I already am?" he rasped. “What if I'm no better than Talbot?!"

The words echoed, bouncing around the little room like shrapnel.

Then… silence. His breathing was ragged. His arms hung limply at his sides, knuckles white, body shaking. Finally… finally… his eyes brimmed with tears… This time, their sting was welcome, slowly letting the pain out.

Thalassa remained silent and motionless for a time, allowing Maximus to let out all of his pain. Her expression remained passive… No judgement, no malice, no disdain. Just patient sentry, remaining the pillar of strength and soothing presence he needed.

Finally, she rose, moving from the chair to sit beside him on his bed. He felt her hand on his back; a light touch, to remind him that she was there, but she didn't force him to look at her.

“You are in no danger of becoming what you fear, Maximus," she said softly.

“How can you be sure?" he asked, his eyes opening, but still not looking at her.

“Because Digimon like Talbot don't regret the harm they cause," she said. “You do. You might be a Digimon, as I am… But 'monsters' by their definition, do not cry for those they hurt."

Then, she pulled back from him, hands on his shoulders. “You are lost… You are wounded… And most of all, you are grieving," she recounted, and finally he did raise his gaze to look at her. “You have lost so much, and you are still trying to find a reason to continue, especially if it means doing so on your own."

“But," she added, her hands holding his shoulders tighter, “you are not alone, and you never have to be. You fear becoming something terrible… But you will never be like Talbot."

Maximus sniffed, rubbing his eye. “How can you be sure?" he asked for the second time. “You don't know me…"

“No… But I know hearts just like yours," she said, taking a hand from his shoulder to rest it against his chest.

“I know what pain sounds like," she continued, “But more than that, I've seen what it does to those who try to carry it alone. You're right; I don't know everything about you, Maximus, but I know this…"

Her hand returned to his shoulder again, and she looked squarely into his eyes as she continued. “Just because your heart has been shattered… Doesn't mean you have to put the pieces back together on your own."

She let her words linger, her hands remaining on his shoulders, and never removing her gaze from his.

Something shifted in Maximus then… Like a weight being lifted from his shoulders, he felt himself sitting upright more easily. Not all the way, but he felt stronger… Lighter…

Thalassa seemed to see something in her eyes that made her smile. Not wide, not triumphant… Just quietly, like someone recognizing the first light after a long night…

Maximus spoke. Thalassa listened.

He recalled the entire story, as he had with Nagata only days before. But this time, the words came easier, even as he felt tears in his eyes again. By now, though, he was done trying to make them stop anymore.

He could almost feel the scars of his broken heart beginning to fade…

“And then… He was just gone," Maximus finished, his voice barely higher than a whisper. “My brother… By my side since the day I emerged from my Digitama…" he rubbed his eye again. “I never even got to say goodbye…"

Thalassa's words came slow, giving Maximus his moment before she reached out her hand, gently holding his. He squeezed her hand absently, not looking at her, but glad to have her be present.

“Thank you for telling me," she said. “It takes more strength than you can imagine to do that, especially with someone you just met."

“It still hurts," Maximus said, putting his free hand over his chest. “So much..."

“It will," she said softly. “But grief doesn't make you weak, Maximus. It means you loved someone enough that losing them has left a mark on you."

He looked at her then – really looked, this time. For the first time since that awful night, he didn't feel like he was drowning… He felt as though he were floating, the light of the moon beaming down upon him, bathing him in its soft, pallid glow.

Floating… Held up by something steadier than himself. The pain of the shackles remained… But the chains that had once pulled him down into that lake of sadness were finally gone…

He realized then that his gaze had lingered for too long, and he snapped his gaze away, blushing. “S-Sorry… I…" he said.

“You may," she said, knowingly.

He looked at her again. “Huh?"

“You're wondering if it's appropriate to hug me," she said. “It may not be a standard practice… But, I'm here, if you need it."

Maximus moved slowly, as though fearing she'd vanish if he moved too quickly, sidling up to her, and laying his head against her chest as he slid his arms around her. He felt his breath catching when she reciprocated, slowly wrapping him in her embrace, and held him, as steady and still as the moonlight she embodied.

He let out a choked hiccup… And then he shut his eyes, shedding one more tear as he listened to the Lekismon's heart beating. The quiet sob that escaped him now wasn't like the others, as though this time he was releasing a held breath from swimming underwater.

“Thank you," he whispered.

“It is what I do," she replied softly.

They stayed like that for a while, until Maximus reluctantly released Thalassa from his embrace. He wanted to keep it, but, a sensible part of him knew it'd become awkward if he let it carry on for much longer.

“So… What's going to happen now?" he asked. “Am I… Well, is Surtan going to kick me out?"

“No, of course not," Thalassa replied, shaking her head. “If he was going to do that he'd have done so by now. He asked me to meet with you, counsel you, to help you manage that anger."

Maximus grimaced. “Fenric said much the same," he admitted. “And… I think he's right. I've lost control of myself at least twice since that night. It's like there's this… pressure inside me now, ready to snap at the nearest thing, like when sparred with Ashira."

“This session may help ease some of that pressure for now," Thalassa offered. “However, I would still like to recommend some exercises, to help you better manage your stress."

Maximus was about to answer, before his words were immediately stolen by a loud, almost animalistic growl filling the room, coming from his core. At the same time, he felt a rumble in his stomach, and knew immediately that the sound had come from him.

He looked uneasily at Thalassa, who just stared blankly back.

“Well… an empty stomach probably isn't helping either," he said, feeling sheepish. “Raincheck on the yoga class?"

Thalassa smiled at his joke. “Of course. If you wish to continue our discussion or require anything else, you can find me downstairs in the infirmary," she said as she stood from the bed and made her way over to the door. “I'm usually there until midnight."

Maximus nodded. “Thanks again, Thalassa."

“Anytime," she said, opening the door.

She was barely outside before he noticed her head turn sharply to the left, and her expression shifted from surprise, to immediately defensive. “Ashira!" she exclaimed sharply.

'Ashira?!' Maximus repeated mentally.

Of all the Digimon to show up now, why her? Was she there to apologize? To gloat? To pick another fight? Maximus wasn't sure he was ready for any of those yet…

“I can explain," the Renamon spoke slowly.

“Were you eavesdropping on a private conversation?" Thalassa demanded.

Ashira's answer came quickly, but not very convincingly “N-No! Of course not!" she said; Maximus couldn't see her, and yet was nonetheless surprised to hear the same Renamon he'd raced and fought that day suddenly so flustered. “I mean, yes – I heard you speaking but I wasn't listening, I swear."

“Then why are you standing here outside his door?" Thalassa demanded, her hands on her hips.

“I wanted to talk to him too," Ashira replied. “And I… I brought a peace offering."

Thalassa's gaze flicked down to something Ashira was holding in her paws – whatever it was; Maximus couldn't see yet. Then, she looked back at Ashira, suspicion undeterred.

Finally, she turned to look back into Maximus' room, meeting the Veemon's eyes, seeking his permission.

“I… I'll talk to her," Maximus replied, hesitantly.

Thalassa huffed, and moved aside. “Then I'm staying here," she said, folding her arms.

“W-What?! Why?" Ashira asked, indignant.

“Because you provoked him once today and I'm not letting you do it again," Thalassa replied. Her voice didn't rise, but the warning in her tone was unmistakable.

“Oh, come on Thalassa; I didn't bring snacks to throw them at him. Even I'm not that much of a bitch."

Thalassa arched an eyebrow at the Renamon. “Very reassuring," she said. “I'm still not leaving. Not unless Maximus asks me to."

Slowly, Ashira stepped through the door, casting another sour look at Thalassa. The Lekismon remained steadfast, following her into the room and closing the door for privacy again, remaining by the door to let the two speak.

Ashira stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, carrying a covered platter between her paws as she met Maximus' gaze, the two staring at each other in silence for a moment.

She hesitated a beat too long before she spoke. “Okay, so…" she began, then groaned, clearly annoyed with herself already. “Damn it, this sounded so much easier in my head."

Maximus blinked, but remained silent, his grip tightening on the edge of the bed. He didn't trust himself to speak yet. Ashira, apparently expecting him to say something, just stared.

Finally, she cleared her throat, and stepped forward, offering the platter to him.

“I saw you didn't come for dinner," she said. “So…I brought you something. Meat buns, from the kitchen. They… May not be the freshest, but… They're warm."

Maximus accepted the platter, and the Renamon awkwardly continued. “I figured… You know… After that whole thing…"

Finally, Ashira gave up, her arms falling to her sides, groaning. She shot a dirty look at Thalassa. “This would be a lot easier if you weren't listening, you know."

“I am not going anywhere," Thalassa reaffirmed, the tone of her voice leaving no room for debate.

Ashira grumbled, looking at the ceiling before addressing Maximus. “I'm terrible at apologizing," she said, “But… I… I heard it from Surtan and…" she groaned again. “I know… I was… Out of line," she finally said, the words staggered as she finally managed to get them out. “I… Never meant to… Provoke you like that. I didn't…"

She sighed, and finally spoke easier. “I didn't understand just how much you were hurting," she said.

Maximus blinked again. “You know?"

“Fenric filled me in – a bit," she clarified. “He told me about your town… And, your brother."

Maximus frowned, resting the platter on his lap. A silence hung over the two of them for a moment, before he spoke.

“Did you… Mean it?"

“What?" she asked.

“About your brother, Nagata," said Maximus. “Did you… Really mean it when you said you wish he wasn't around?"

Ashira flinched like she had stepped on a trap, her expression turning to shock. “W-What? No wait, that's no-!" she shook her head, and stared again. “You actually thought I meant that?"

“You said it yourself," Maximus said quietly, though his expression had hardened. “'At times, I wish I didn't.'" His voice was quiet, but carried something beneath it – something that made the words hit harder than they should have.

Ashira groaned. “Crap," she said. “Okay… Hearing it for myself, that does sound awful," she admitted. “What I meant was, sometimes I wished I wasn't his sister."

Maximus arched a brow, his voice tinged with skepticism as he replied. “I don't see how that's any better, Ashira."

Ashira's expression shifted, hardening again. “Have you ever felt overshadowed by someone?" she asked, “Felt as though there's heavy expectations of you, because of your family? Or worse yet, you accomplish something, but that somebody gets the credit anyway?"

Maximus caught on. “You think that your brother's the only reason your accomplishments were ever recognized?"

“I know that's why," she said, rising annoyance in her voice. “I heard them say it. 'Look what Ashira did here,' followed immediately by 'her brother taught her well' or, 'it's all thanks to his guiding hand'. I could move mountains, and they'd still say Nagata showed me where to dig."

She let out a bitter breath and shook her head. “Aside from that, several students here have also claimed that I only excelled in my classes because Nagata was going easy on me," she continued. “Even for the classes he wasn't even teaching. This went on for years."

Behind Ashira, Maximus saw Thalassa shifting, her expression turning to one of incredulity as she looked at Ashira. But she remained silent, knowing that she wasn't part of this conversation.

“Does this have something to do with when you Digivolved, and how you lost your evolution?" Maximus asked.

Ashira frowned. “It's… part of it," she replied, evasively. Then she waved a paw, dismissively. “Look, I'm not ready to have that conversation right now. I came to apologize. So…" she looked at Maximus expectantly.

Maximus sighed and nodded. “I accept it," he said. “I owe you one too… I overreacted. When I thought you were saying you wished your brother was gone, it… broke something in me. It's just… losing Maverick is still so fresh. And hearing what I thought you said…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

Ashira folded her arms and exhaled. “I meant it when I said there are times I wish I wasn't his sister," she said. “But I have never wished Nagata was gone. Not for a second; I may be stuck in his shadow, but he's still my brother and I love him. I just… wanted people to see me. Not just a reflection of him."

Maximus nodded slowly. “I get it. Maverick and I had moments like that too — a bit of rivalry, some competition, but it was never the center of our bond. Not like it sounds with you two."

Ashira's ears drooped slightly. “Sometimes, it also felt like he couldn't separate being a teacher from being my brother," she muttered. “And I get it — he couldn't play favourites. He had to see me as a student first. But outside the classroom… there were times I think he forgot I was family."

Maximus was silent. A memory stirred; not for the first time since he'd heard them… But he was beginning to understand them.

'Be for my sister what I failed to be…'

Nagata had known. He knew Ashira felt overshadowed. But his role demanded discipline and fairness. In the end, his duty created distance… and when Ashira Digivolved into Youkomon — a dark-path evolution and the same one he himself had followed, she'd only felt more like she was being shaped into his successor, not into herself.

Not Ashira. Just the next Nagata.

“I think I get it now," Maximus muttered aloud.

“Huh?" Ashira blinked.

“Nothing," he lied, brushing it off, and glanced down at the platter. The scent hit him first, then the sight of those meat buns — warm, golden, slightly uneven in shape. His stomach growled again in response, and this time, he didn't fight it.

He looked up at Ashira with a grateful nod. “Thanks."

“Don't mention it," she replied — then added with a smirk, “Seriously. Don't. I've got a reputation to uphold."

Thalassa stepped to the door and opened it, offering a gentle nod. “We'll leave you to your meal, Maximus. Coming, Ashira?"

“Right behind you," the Renamon replied. But as she stepped out, Maximus called out one last time.

“Oh — before you go," he said, one bun already in hand despite his stomach's continued protests.

Ashira paused and looked back. “Yeah?"

“You owe me a rematch," Maximus said with a crooked grin. “And next time, let's skip the trash-talk. One misunderstanding is enough."

Ashira arched a brow. “Agreed," she said — then leveled a challenging look his way. “But just so we're clear… I'm still going to beat you."

Maximus chuckled. “Yeah, we'll see about that."

With a final flick of her tail, Ashira stepped out after Thalassa — and for the first time in days, Maximus sat alone… not in despair, but in quiet, well-earned peace. He turned his attention to his food and took a deep breath, letting it out as he finally took his first bite.

Warm. Savory. Solid…

His first real meal in days – and to his starving stomach, it might as well have been a feast. He didn't even care that they were a little uneven; they were perfect…