Tension Held: Chapter 2
A story based on Hetzer's UTO-verse. Any and all feedback is welcome.
Read on Furaffinity: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61214537/
Editing was done by Typo. Special thanks to my friend TurboCanuck for assisting with character writing.
The constant droning buzz of static filled a large candlelit room as over a dozen men in uniforms crowded around a round table with a battery powered radio in the middle. The silence was only broken for a few seconds at a time as the men muttered questions to each other they rightfully assumed would never be answered. Suddenly, the double doors burst open, and a new group of people entered, their clothes soaking wet.
“The man who flagged you down told you to park on the south end of the hotel, right?" Nolan asked, while turning to face the civilian women and three children. “Those aliens might be patrolling the interstate,"
She quickly nodded, her eyes frantically darting around the dimly lit space at the faces of everyone in uniform. “Is my husband here? His name is Robert Stefansen and he's in the army too..." Barely anyone could make eye contact with her, their gazes drifting down or back to the radio.
Nolan shook his head slowly. “I'm sorry, ma'am, but if he does arrive, you'll be the first to know." He nodded to the back of the room where the other civilians were huddled up. “Go ahead and find somewhere to sit."
She looked at the radio for a moment. “Is there someone you could contact on that thing, just to be sure?"
Nolan sighed, his head hanging low. “We need to keep the channel clear for as long as possible, ma'am. The last thing we heard from command is that the aliens wanted to parley and to stand by for any future orders." He put his hands back on the table and stared at the device again.
The woman led her kids away wordlessly. The mood in the room was already dour before, but Nolan could feel the morale sucked dry from everyone around him now. One of the men piped up, seemingly trying to lift everyone's spirits. “Those lizard things... they didn't seem to do all that much damage to the infrastructure in Lincoln, despite how quickly they levelled the army bases and the airport... if I had to hazard a guess, they're not trying to blow up everything for the sake of it, they seem to be trying to—"
The static from the radio suddenly grew louder, the telltale sign that the communications line was reopening. Everyone sitting or standing around the table instantly fell dead silent. After a few agonizing seconds, a voice came through. “All Nebraska National Guard units are to stand down immediately. We have negotiated a ceasefire under the condition that we accept total surrender. No attacks or antagonization will be tolerated. I repeat, all Nebraska National Guard units are to stand do—" Nolan flicked the switch to turn the radio off, his hands trembling and his teeth clenched.
“What did you do that for?! What if there were further instructions?" the man next to him exclaimed.
Nolan slammed his fist against the table, his eyes wide open as he began to hyperventilate. A secluded corner of his mind had foreseen this exact outcome. He wasn't sure if that made it easier or harder. “That's it, then? We just lost Earth forever to those motherfucking monsters and all we can do is lay around like a bunch of useless fucking babies?" His voice was dripping with rage and spite now; he felt it overflowing from his mind and cascading forth like never before in his entire life. “What even was the point of enlisting? How many of you soldiers want to be worthless bitches now, huh?" He glanced around the table, waiting for a response.
“There really isn't anything we can do now," came the quiet reply from someone on the opposite side of the table. “They outgunned us a thousand times over. We could barely even kill one of them. Hell, all the forces and firepower they could muster in DC couldn't hold them back, judging by the reports. It's better this way, since we'll never—"
“It's better that we lost our only fucking home?" shouted Nolan. “I'll tell you what's fucking better: if they all die and we fucking win!" His fists pounded the table with each phrase.
“Oh, so what are we going to do now, dumbshit?" came the inevitable reply. “We tie one down like we're in goddamn Gulliver's Travels and use it as ransom for the entire fucking planet? Give me a break."
Nolan felt like he was going to have a heart attack from the pounding in his chest and the tightness in his gut. “What about the people who are missing? We're just going to let them die while we sit in a circle and jerk each other off?"
“Hayes, calm down." The hand of his direct superior to his right touched his shoulder as their clear and commanding voice broke through his defenses. “We're done with the worst of the attack now. The important thing is that people are going to stop dying."
Nolan's breathing started to slow down; he took a moment to try and gather his thoughts again. “I'd rather I died than let something like this happen to the whole fucking world." He got up and stumbled to the doors to the lobby; his vision was blurred and his limbs trembled as he went outside into the rain to prevent anyone from seeing him like this. He began to sob and scream, ramming his fist against the wall.
The stinging impact of Nolan's fist against his shower wall finally broke him out of his memories. “Remember why you're here..." he mumbled to himself as he turned off the shower and began preparing for breakfast.
Day 2, 2020 CE
Ethan was already sitting alone at the end of a table in the cafeteria when Nolan entered. He was looking down, fiddling with a large steaming omelet on his plate. Nolan ignored the line and went to sit across from Ethan first, crossing his fingers and looking down as well. Ethan looked up and awkwardly gave a noncommittal wave with his free hand. “Hey Nolan, hope you slept enough because I sure as hell didn't." He yawned and pointed to the multicolored contents on his plate. “Haven't had a freshly cooked omelet like this one in years, you should definitely make sure to get the works when they ask you."
Nolan gently nodded as Ethan stopped prodding with his fork to think for a moment, eventually coming up with another question. “One thing I wanted to ask was why you feel the way you do right now about the mesos. I must have spent hours poking around news sites and forums about stuff that happened in Nebraska, but I could only—"
“It's simple." Nolan butted in. “They're huge and powerful and in control, and we aren't. Don't need more reason than that."
Ethan let out a deep sigh, looking over to the counter where Lara had been yesterday. With a new plan in mind, he turned back and looked Nolan in the eyes. “Can you at least promise me to listen to what they say? They may be powerful aliens, but they're still people."
Nolan glanced away for a second before meeting his friend's gaze. “I guess it'd be stupid for me not to, considering we'll have to get used to being around them."
Ethan felt himself smiling again and pointed to his plate. “Thank you. Now that that's out of the way, go get yourself one of these."
The group of humans were slowly trickling out of the mess hall and down the long recess under the wall leading to the Hive once the hour drew close. Ethan could make out the details as he slowly drew closer. Multiple floors of translucent chambers, each fit for one living being, loomed large and far above them. The human section was hugging the left wall that their walkway was carved into for relatively easy access. Still, it was a hell of a walk compared to what it was apparently like for the mesos, judging by how quickly he could see them crossing the room on the opposite side. His Yutri earpiece wasn't picking up any of the mixed chatter from the opposite side of the room, though; it was all too distant and equally indistinguishable.
One figure among the group of mesos stood out as entirely different from the rest. He appeared to be a bipedal dragon, much like a few other mesos in the group, but Ethan could clearly tell even from this distance that he was glowing blue and partially see-through: a hologram, one of the famed AI citizens he read about and even spoken with many times over the years since humanity's integration. It wasn't much of a mental leap to assume that a spacefaring civilization like the UTO could create and maintaining fully sentient AI with their technological advancements, but it was another thing entirely to finally see one in person. His stride picked up in pace, and he pointed to it while turning his head back. “Hey, Nolan, that must be our AI they assigned to us."
Nolan stared at the glowing being towering among the crowd of giants, scratching his head while trying to keep up with Ethan's accelerated walking speed. “So... it's like Skynet?"
Ethan did his best to hold in a laugh. “Uh, no. The UTO managed to make a ton of those sentient AI beings that functionally act as thinking, working citizens. They have jobs and independent thoughts and likes and dislikes just like any of us, but, just, you know. Digitally." He flipped around to walk backwards while splaying his arms out. “And they managed to keep them around for this long without society and all this stuff collapsing, right?" He spun back and resumed his brisk forward strides.
Nolan looked to the ground and shook his head. “Guess I can't argue with that." He turned right once they reached the end of the wall, the towering multi-floor sim chambers made for humans finally in reach.
The glowing hologram of a dragon-like being disappeared from his previous position, manifesting in front of the humans' designated side. Ethan and Nolan had to crane their necks to see more than the two digitigrade feet. “Alright, recruits, make your way up the stairs to the top level. There will some preliminary information before we can begin mingling." With that, the stairway in the corner of the two walls began to glow with the same blue color as his entire body. “Quickly, now; we only have less than three Earth minutes to go before Ulvhakar is scheduled to arrive."
Nolan was surprised to hear the hologram's voice broadcast directly through his earpiece without any trace of the same booming alien voice of the other mesos. “You heard the dragon man, Em. Let's hustle." He began to hastily but skillfully climb the three flights of stairs, with Ethan falling behind.
Ethan was still gasping for air once Ulvhakar entered the room, with Nolan standing beside him. “He's here, Em. Stand tall."
The Lupari officer strode calmy into the room, with the military mech from the previous evening following him closely. Their combined presence was visually daunting, yet their calm and collected poise gave them a dignity and air of authority that was impossible to ignore. The AI hologram waved to them as they approached. “The human recruits are all accounted for and assembled on the top floor of the catwalks, like you asked." The dragon stood proudly and gestured down at the line of humans leaning against the rail.
Ulvhakar looked down at the group, the platform barely making it past his waist height, and nodded. “Did you introduce yourself to everyone as well?"
“Apologies, I only did so for the early arrivals. Punctuality is always my top priority." The dragon looked back down at the recruits, placing a clawed hand flat against his own chest. “My name is Tavrin. I am an artificial intelligence and one of many such citizens implemented into the Union Hub's vast network. I've been contracted to act as an ever-present guide and assistant to every individual in this group, and many others like yours in nearby training centers. I'm also the admin for simulated training and today's pairing that will take place after this sim session. Multitasking is one trait I take great pride in." His noncorporeal legs locked in place and he gave a salute down to the humans, before stepping back and letting Ulvhakar and the mech beside him take the floor.
“Thank you, Tavrin," came a response in English directly from the mech's speakers. “My name is Debora Klassen. Ulvhakar here is my guardian, and I'm his charge. Neither him nor me answer directly to anyone in this room; we share the responsibilities of commanding officer equally to represent all of you fairly." She nodded to Ulvhakar to begin his speech.
The Lupari smiled at the mech's faceplate before turning back to the two crowds. He put his best effort to verbally address the split groups, shifting his gaze between them as he spoke. “Before we begin, I wish to remind everyone why we are here. And I am not referring to merely why you have been selected for our guardian and charge program. Our Union has been built on the core beliefs of equality for all species within it. The integration of Earth is still our most ambitious and challenging ongoing project, and one that I am immensely proud to contribute to." He motioned with one paw hand to the line of humans staring up at him while looking to the mesos across the room. “By merely standing here among us, these men and women have already achieved an act of bravery that practically none of the people in our Union will ever match. They have survived the invasion of their world and are ready to go above and beyond to contribute their indispensable talents." He looked back down at the humans, a look of undeniable beaming pride radiating from his face. “You are all here because of your potential. Despite all we have managed to accomplish as a Union, your contributions have already elevated us higher than we have ever been before, and in the span of a few short years."
The mech stepped forward, its chest compartment's interlocking components unveiling the form of a human woman with short dirty blonde hair walking out into the view of the onlooking groups. She held a device in her hand as she spoke, her voice broadcasting over the speaker in the mech's head. “When I first enrolled to train as a charge, I couldn't imagine contributing something worthwhile. Physically, I don't even come up to my guardian's ankles. It was terrifying at first. Discouraging, too. But my problem was never my lack of size; it was my formerly closed mind." She took a deep breath before continuing. “I want each of you to have this takeaway, if nothing else. You're not here to impress each other, and you're especially not here to prove your superiority. You're here to find each other." Her tone grew softer as she gazed across the fresh new crowd. “You need to ask yourself this as you prepare to mingle: who understands you, and makes you feel heard? Or who challenges you and forces you to think outside of your current frame of mind? This will be a vital day for many of you, so don't waste it by remaining silent." She reentered her mech, bringing it back to life and nodding back to Ulvhakar.
“I could not have put that more eloquently myself, Deborah." The officer cleared his throat and concluded his speech. “Just be aware, though, that not everyone will be privileged enough to find their perfect match today. However, we also hold the belief that any of the guardians we vet can potentially be an indispensable partner for whichever charge they end up with." He motioned back to the dragon AI again. “For the sake of transparency, we must inform you now that Tavrin will be observing all of you closely during this session, as well as all future sim training. Our intent isn't to judge, but to understand you better. Our standards for excellency are high, and his expertise has been invaluable for perfecting our methods."
Tavrin stepped in again. “Of course, my observation in this session will be vital for determining which charges and guardians will pair well together. Simply assigning random mesos to humans was never going to be a sustainable long-term method for this program." He chuckled to himself. “With all that out of the way, please step into the pods." He raised both his arms, and the orange covers of every pod swung open simultaneously. “There's more than enough for everyone, and it doesn't matter which one you pick. Also, on the topic of transparency, we regularly use a gentle haze on people for these meetups. It's only meant to reduce anxiety by giving you a vague sense of familiarity with everyone, and the effect will disappear after you exit the sim. If you wish to opt out of the hazing, please tell me once you've situated yourself in your pod."
Ethan and Nolan turned to look at the pods in front of them, watching as their fellow soldiers started entering the pods and closing their translucent covers. Ethan couldn't wait to get started, but something more important was nagging at him. “So, Nolan... what did you think of all that?"
Nolan shrugged and stared at the pod in front of him, the shape of it eerily reminding him of a plastic coffin. “I've heard a hundred speeches from my higher-ups before. Meant to make us feel like we're part of something greater, more than just a handful of lackeys who do jack shit on the average day." He paused and looked back to Ethan. “It seemed like they believed what they were saying, but they've probably said the same shit to a hundred other people in the past. You know?"
Ethan nodded somberly and stepped into the pod next to Nolan's, pausing before he decided to close the lid. “It didn't sound like an endlessly rehearsed speech to me, if that's any consolation. I felt like they meant what they were saying. Didn't you?"
“I don't think they're lying or anything like that, Em... I dunno. I just think we need to be cautious for our own sakes. That's not the same as having a closed mind." He trepidatiously stepped into his own pod, leaning back into the soft fabric of the seat.
Ethan smiled as he reached for the latch. “I guess you're right about that." He ended the exchange with a pull of the lever, sealing himself in and taking steady slow breaths to calm himself before his first true taste of the UTO's fully immersive sims.
Nolan reached down to his respective lever and closed himself in, looking up and around the tightly enclosed space. “Hey, dragon guy? Tavrin? Can you hear me?"
“Yes, Nolan? What do you need?" came the immediate reply from a nearby speaker.
“I think I don't want that haze thing you mentioned if possible. I don't know a ton of details, but from what I heard about military sims, it does something to alter your memories, right? I don't want you to do that before my first social meetup with the meso recruits." He planted his hand against his side, realizing it was trembling.
“Of course. I'll opt you out of the hazing. Just lay still and I'll have you with the others in no time." A cold metallic device from behind brushed against the human's neck, his muscles going limp as he instantaneously lost consciousness.
Ethan opened his eyes, his vision having to suddenly adjust from the artificial lights of the barracks to the seemingly natural sunlight above him. He realized he was still leaning against the fabric of the seat inside the pod as before, but now the translucent cover was nowhere to be seen. Poking his head out of his pod, he saw a formation of similarly coverless pods in three concentric circles, all surrounding a large clearing with what appeared to be humans and similarly sized mesos forming a crowd. The sound of their collective chatter barely reached his ears and he couldn't make out their faces from this distance. He looked behind himself, realizing they were in the center of a valley densely populated by trees, many of which had vibrant orange leaves among the evergreens. He knew for sure this had to be Earth, but he didn't recognize anything, and there were no discernable landmarks other than a few humble lodges scattered on the mountains around them. He only took a few seconds to assess the area around him and get oriented, though; he was a man with a mission now. Ethan climbed out of the pod and quickly strode downhill to the large gathering, seeing a couple other arrivals joining in too. He attempted to make sense of the ebbing noisy crowd in front of him, trying to figure out where Lara was in the thick of it all. He saw a few bipedal rabbits as he approached, but he had no way of telling who she was, considering he hadn't had a chance to talk to the mesos before they entered the sim. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Em! There you are!" Lara bounded towards him, a huge smile on her face. Ethan looked up and realized that she was much taller here than her proxy was before; the very top of his head wasn't even coming up to the height of her shoulders. “It's pretty overwhelming here, right? Too much noise." The man nodded hastily. “Follow me!" She strode off at a slower pace than her typical bounding, looking back to make sure the human was following. They both stopped several meters outside the circle, relatively safe from the noise while still being close to the group. Lara leaned back in the grass and stretched her legs out, sighing while looking up into the clouds.
Ethan looked up the slope, spotting Nolan slowly trudging downhill to the gathering area. He turned to Lara, not stopping to sit down but crouching to speak with her instead. “Could you talk to my new friend Nolan? I don't know you all that well yet, but I'm pretty sure you really like humans a lot and want to understand us, right?"
The Viliti woman nodded, turning her head to look in the same direction. “The sad guy you were sitting next to last night...?"
Ethan folded his arms and nodded gently. “He seems to be pretty upset by a lot of things... mostly how big and dangerous mesos are compared to us. I don't think I have the state of mind to help him. I think he needs to talk to someone like you, who knows what it's like to be..." He scratched the back of his head while searching for the right words. “Both big and small, I guess?"
“Sure, I guess I could go talk to him. I promise I'll do what I can." She jumped up and began to reach toward Ethan with one of her paw hands for a moment, before pausing and pulling back. “Would you like me to pat you?" The man wordlessly nodded back without hesitation. Lara gently placed her large soft paw on top of Ethan's brown mop of hair, gently stroking it while smiling down at him. “Glad you're looking out for your fellow charges, Em. I got this under control. See you soon!"
Ethan felt his cheeks grow warm from the weighty and affectionate touch, sitting on the grass and watching to see how the interaction with his two new friends would unfold.
Nolan gazed in awe at the scenery all around him. He knew for a fact that he wasn't really on Earth, but his senses couldn't tell the difference. The smell of pine carried by the gentle breeze, the stinging pain when his eyes directly met the sun, the feeling of grass between his fingers when he crouched down to touch it—it was all as real as real life. He shuddered, trying to imagine the state his physical body must have been in, but his train of thought was interrupted by a vaguely familiar-sounding voice.
“Hey, you're Em's friend Nolan, right?" A bipedal rabbit was approaching him from downhill; he immediately realized it must have been Lara.
He sized her up for a moment, waiting for her to be close enough to speak to without shouting before responding. Her fur was a light yellowish brown, the same color as the accessorized ears on her proxy. From this angle, she almost appeared to have an entirely normal height, but that quickly changed as she closed the distance between them, and he realized that she was still much taller than him. “Yeah... you're Lara from yesterday, I assume."
She nodded, stopping right as her eyeline was perfectly level with Nolan's on the slope they were both on. “Em actually told me to come and talk to you. He seemed worried... but also hopeful."
Nolan glanced back at Ethan for a moment, still sitting on the grass and watching them both. “Figured as much. Well, we're both here. What do you want to talk about?"
Lara crouched next to him and sat herself down on the grassy hill, leaning on her arms and looking up into the sky while contemplating her next words. “Tavrin chose a place on Earth for our meetup by the looks of it. A pretty peaceful one, too. Everything seems to have been meticulously designed for comfort above all else. There's a gentle wind, the temperature of the air feels perfect, there's no bugs around..." She turned her head to look up at Nolan. “But you don't feel at ease here, do you? There's a phrase Viliti often use for times like this: comfort isn't quite the same as trust. You understand what that feels like, don't you?"
Nolan bit his lip and looked away for a moment. “I think you're onto something... it feels too perfect." He hesitated to continue his train of thought. The man leaned down and sat slightly uphill next to Lara, making sure his eye level was even with hers again. “I can't shake this gut feeling that something is seriously wrong, and all this..." He gestured to the picturesque autumn scenery around him, “is just a distraction." His mind raced with things he wanted to say directly; he hesitated to with the knowledge of the many ears that were likely listening in as they spoke.
Lara nodded gently. “A lot of humans I've talked to feel the same way. I've spent most of my free time in the past couple of years just wandering the human settlements here in the Union Hub, listening to whoever wants to speak their mind. Something that human psychology experts say often is that it's part of your sharp pattern recognition. You've lived your whole life in a society where if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. That's a common idiom in your language, if I remember correctly." Nolan clenched his fists as he fiddled with his hands and shook his head, he almost opened his mouth to respond before stopping himself. She cocked her head while staring at him and waiting for a reply. “Hey, it's okay. I hope nothing I said was—"
“No, just memories." He muttered out to preempt her question before taking a second to properly process what she said. “I guess I should mention how it feels to be surrounded by people who have nothing but great things to say about the UTO. Everywhere I turn, it feels like I'm being told by everyone around me how I should feel. Like, if I'm not falling over myself to be thankful about Earth being taken in by a huge galactic superpower, I'm just a 'difficult' person, or something." He sighed deeply, looking down at the grass. “It's like you said: this place is safe and clean, and it's quiet, and maybe it's even perfect. But when I'm backed into a corner with a comfortable place to sit, I'm still stuck in that corner."
Lara lay on her back while staring at the clouds. “But it is difficult, isn't it? Having this acute awareness, not just of your own physical size, but of your own personal helplessness, systemically?" She turned her head to make eye contact with him again. “Some of the humans I've spoken to adjust incredibly well, or at least keep up appearances until they believe it themselves. A few humans seem to be incredibly happy to live around us. Humans like you though... I think you just carry more of Earth and its memories with you while you adjust to this..." She spread her arms up, gesturing into the sky, “...this whole big, new interplanetary paradigm you all live in now. I don't think any one way is correct or incorrect. In fact, I'm glad that people like you don't take things at face value." She gave him a disarming smile. “It doesn't make you lesser or unfit for service. It just makes you more true to yourself."
Nolan looked down at Lara, realizing his limbs were beginning to feel less tense. “You're good at this whole talking thing, you know? Making me let my guard down. Is Tavrin feeding you lines to give me or something?" He laughed to himself.
Lara shook her head while holding in a laugh of her own. “Thanks for the compliment. I wasn't all that great at talking to people like this until recently, though. In fact…" Her tone shifted as her smile disappeared. “A few years ago, I made a big mistake. I was talking to someone a lot like you, someone who was still anxious about Earth integrating into the Union. I basically lost my cool and told them they should stop feeling the way they do and be grateful for what we did." She looked back up at the sky. “It made perfect sense to me at the time to say it, too... we provided so much aid and shared our knowledge of technology, things Earth desperately needed. I wasn't putting myself in their individual position. Instead of trying to empathize with their mindset, I just let the bigger picture blind me." She breathed in slowly and bit her lip. “We never spoke again after that day. I don't want to make that same mistake again."
Nolan contemplated that for a moment. “Most people I know wouldn't want to admit something like that to someone they just met."
“I get the feeling I'm not most people." She said quietly. “I've learned that just being correct isn't enough to make me helpful to other people. I want to be better than that. I know that you need a friend like that, too." She nodded towards him. “I can tell you've been carrying a lot more than just doubts and memories... you've probably done it alone for long enough."
Nolan felt a tightness in his chest and tried to dispel it by laughing it off. “You're making it really difficult for me to stay a skeptic. You know that, right?"
She smiled back at him. “I don't want to take that away from you. I just want to be real with you." She got back up, propping herself up with her arms as she looked down at the still-bustling epicenter of social activity in the clearing. “I don't know for sure who I'll be partnered up with at the end of this meeting, but I genuinely hope it'll be you. I think I've gotten a knack for talking to people like this, and it seems like it helped you a bit already."
“Well... you're not making me feel worse at least." Nolan looked into Lara's kind eyes while forming a small smile of his own, one of the first times he felt like making one ever since he arrived. “You're different from what I expected... in good ways. I'm grateful we've got someone like you here." He held out his hand, the Viliti woman softly grabbing it with her paw and shaking it firmly.
Ethan watched the whole conversation from afar. He wasn't near enough to hear anything over the chatter from the nearby crowd, but he could tell by their body language that things were going well. A sudden voice behind him broke the tedious white noise. “Hey, what are you doing sitting over there by yourself? You shy?" He turned his head to see someone resembling a red-furred fox standing over him, tilting their head while looking down at him.
Ethan shook his head. “Nah, just spotting for my friend over there, making sure he's doing fine." He pointed uphill. “Well, that... and I'm only working off less than four hours of sleep. I think he's probably good, though." Ethan stretched his arms upward and shifted his legs to redistribute his weight.
The Falashai sat next to Ethan, his large fluffy tail draping behind the human while the tip of it softly nudged the far side of Ethan's crossed legs. “That's sweet of you. I like that." He looked down at the human, being careful to not show any teeth while he smiled. “You're fine with me sitting here for now, right? I don't want to interrupt your alone time or anything."
The man felt his muscles tense up for a moment at the sudden touch of the warm tail's weight behind him. He looked down at it and up at the fox's kind smile and felt something give deep within him. “Of course. I haven't talked to almost anyone yet, so I should probably fix that." His shoulders relaxed and he reached down to pet the tail gently. “What's your name, by the way?"
“I'm Thari. It's nice to meet you." He held out his right paw hand, which Ethan took with his. Thari softly grabbed the human's hand with his other paw while making sure not to touch the human's skin with his clawed fingertips as he shook the man's hand. “And what's your name?"
“I'm Ethan Morrow. You can call me Em though. You know, because that's the initials." He smiled up at Thari.
“Your initials...? Oh, wait, I get it now. I keep forgetting that everything's still being translated even though we're not wearing earpieces." He pointed to one of his fluffy ears. “By the way, in my language, the name Thari vaguely means 'open sky.' Supposed to represent freedom and clarity and all that great stuff. I'd like to believe I'm living up to it." He looked up at the wispy clouds before asking another question. “What's your name mean?"
“Ethan? Um... I think it's supposed to mean 'strong.' Or 'firm and reliable.' It doesn't have much of a direct connection with any words in my language. It's just the kind of name with an ancient meaning parents hope their kid grows into. And if they do, score one for survivorship bias." He let out a quiet, pained chortle, his smile disappearing again.
Thari nodded. “Strong, reliable Ethan. I like it. Fitting for a future mech pilot." He looked out into the distance. “This location is on Earth, right? What was your home there like?"
Ethan scratched his head while summoning the memories needed to paint a proper picture. “The place I've lived most of my life is incredibly flat. Nothing like this place." He gestured out to the uneven horizon of green and tan mountains stretching above them. “Didn't live near any big cities for a while either. Just endless fields of vegetables as far as you could drive in most directions."
Thari nodded while staring into the distance. “Sounds like a sight to see."
Ethan folded his hands and looked down. “It wasn't all that much to look at when you've been there for years. I used to live nearer to the big city of the state I lived in; it's called Chicago. Huge place with tons of stuff to do and some of my favorite food." He shook his head slowly. “It's ironic. I ended up joining the military right before the attack and I couldn't do anything. Chicago... I heard it got the worst of it."
Thari rested his paw hand on Ethan's shoulder, softly patting it. “I'm really sorry to hear that..."
Ethan leaned a little closer to the Falashai and nodded solemnly. “I guess the one thing that got better was the stars. Big cities tend to give off a ton of light that refracts though the atmosphere, and it makes it difficult to see any stars even in the big empty place I was in at the time. I kept looking up at the stars at night after the attack..." His voice began to break as his throat tightened. “I really wanted to believe someone else would find us and save us for what felt like the longest time." He let that thought hang in the air, looking back up to Thari with reddened weary eyes before glancing back down at the grass between his feet. “Sorry..." He muttered out hastily.
Thari's ears tilted back slightly. “That was a long time ago now, wasn't it? Since the UTO military pushed them back. If I had signed up sooner... I could have been there on Earth too. I could have even been there to save you myself, if luck had allowed it." A silence was shared between them. “I really mean it, Em."
Ethan felt too weak to support his own weight and leaned his upper body into Thari's side, attempting to bury his head to hide his anguished expression brought forth by his memories. Thari put one paw hand on Ethan's head and held him close, gently scratching his hair with his paw fingers. The background noise of the now distant chatter and sounds of nature faded into nothing as Ethan softly sobbed.
Nolan sat with his arms on his knees leaning forward, watching his human friend and a meso seemingly hugging while sitting next to each other. He turned back to Lara with an uncomfortable grimace on his face. “You know, when you first approached me, part of me wanted to grill you for why you'd pet Ethan on the head. It's not something two soldiers who take each other seriously would do to each other. But I guess he's just into it, or something."
Lara nodded. “He seemed pretty eager about it when I asked. I figured he'd be the type of human to want it. I think it's nice that he feels that way, considering how eager a lot of us are to oblige."
Nolan's expression grew softer again as he looked up at her, thinking about how her paw hand compared to his when they shook. “I have a question. Why are we still so short? I mean, this is all just a big computer program, so we could be any size, right?"
Lara grinned knowingly. “I've read about this before. Before humans joined the UTO, sims were never a problem, because everyone could just be their real height all the time. But then humans were introduced, and that presented a unique problem. What height should humans be?"
The man spoke before he fully thought about it. “The same height as everyone else, right?"
Lara leaned back and held in a laugh. “It may not be all that easy for you to tell, but our heights relative to each other have always been strikingly different. A Tordenchi or Ashar is nearly a whole valen shorter than an average Arkatian." She saw a look of confusion begin to form on the human's face. “Nearly twice as tall. Anyways, they decided to make humans slightly shorter than the formerly shortest species. It's only fair, right?"
Nolan rolled his eyes but stayed in defeated silence while nodding. After a moment to process his thoughts, another question came to mind. “Most humans right after the attack were grateful to the UTO for coming in to push back the Rynar. Seeing you as our galactic saviors and everything. What I was wondering was the flipside. You know, what you first thought about humans back then."
“What, you mean how we collectively perceived Earth, or what my personal thoughts were at the time?"
“The latter. I've seen plenty of articles online about general opinions. I was hoping to hear something less vague from someone in person."
Lara laid on her back again, thinking it over for a minute while watching the clouds. “I guess I was surprised as everyone else that sentient life was thriving on a planet without erestal. A race of tiny furless primates marooned in a star system, with their own rich history. Who wouldn't be fascinated by something like that?" She paused for a moment. “But I feel like the Rynar's attack and its fallout more or less... solidified the way you're perceived, and the way you perceive yourselves. The first thing anyone ever thinks about when Earth is brought up is that one infinitesimal point in time. I've seen many humans that are emotionally well by now... but there's a collective tension too." She turned her head to face Nolan. “The thing I want to see the most is a future where humans finally feel at peace. It'll probably take many years, but it'll be worth it just to know that everything turned out alright for you."
Nolan crossed his arms and looked away. “That's a nice sentiment and all... but most days I just don't feel like I'll ever be well again."
Lara gently laid her paw hand on Nolan's shoulder. “I know."
Ethan's head was resting on Thari's lap, with the Falashai's clawed fingers running through the human's hair. Ethan's mind was fading into a drowsy trance while the meso gently pampered him. The vulpine glanced down and finally spoke up again. “You know, we go through a whole process during training to try and reduce our usual compulsions to be affectionate to humans. I think we get more of it than most species too, with the Falashai being... you know, more physically affectionate than most. But you seemed to be so receptive to it immediately."
Ethan drowsily shook his head. “I guess I just felt like I needed it. I think I've felt like this for a while, too. Maybe I'm just a weird human."
Thari softly let the blunt sides of his claws drag across the human's scalp. “There's nothing weird about wanting to be held, Em. A lot of Falashai even hold the belief that affection and comfort are necessities as important as a nutritious diet or a full night of sleep. If that's true for us, maybe it's just as true for other species too."
“I mean, it's not like..." Ethan stuttered for a second. “Thanks, Thari. For trying to help me feel better."
“Did it work, at least?" Thari asked in a low tone.
“Of course it did, silly." Ethan sat back up and reached up to pet the fur on the back of Thari's head. “I think I'm really glad that I—"
A simple musical chord rang through the air, not unpleasantly loud but loud enough for everyone to hear it over their own voices. The tones interrupted Ethan's partial sentence, and caused everyone in the nearby groups to become noticeably quieter. Tavrin's familiar voice immediately followed. “Attention, please. Quiet down. We have less than five minutes left before the simulation will end. That's all; please go back to whatever it was you were talking about."
Ethan stood up hastily, his shaky legs needing a moment to adjust. “We should go meet back up with Nolan and Lara real quick." He strode up the grassy slope, turning his head back to check if Thari was following him. Seeing nothing, he looked forward again and saw the vulpine climbing twice as fast as him.
“Way ahead of you, Em!"
Lara waved down at Ethan and the approaching Falashai. “Hey, Em, who's your new friend?"
Thari stopped in front of Lara and Nolan. “My name's Thari Ennvim. Em there told me he was keeping an eye on you. Hope things have been going well."
Nolan sat back up, examining the foxlike man in front of them. “He was probably mostly keeping an eye on me." He stood up straight and held his arm out. “Nolan Hayes, Nebraska National Guard." Thari clasped Nolan's hand with both of his paws carefully and gave him a firm shake.
Ethan finally reached the top of the slope, desperately gasping for air and leaning forward with his hands resting on his knees. “Hi... again... Lara..." He looked up to see the two shaking hands. “Oh, nice. He did the same handshake for you too."
Nolan pulled his hand back and flexed his fingers for a moment. “Yeah, felt more like a hug than a handshake. Nice pressure control though." He nodded back up to Thari.
Thari's tail started to wag. “I made sure to practice the classic human handshake earlier this week with a friend. They told me to be careful with my claws too. I think it helped."
Ethan sat down next to Lara and stretched his legs out. “So, the talk went well? I assume it did, considering Nolan seems to be in a decent mood."
Lara nodded while smiling. “I think we're still figuring each other out. What's important is that your friend here is feeling open to talk and listen. Isn't that right?" She gently nudged him with her elbow.
Nolan looked down. “Didn't expect her to be the fucking Rain Man of talking to humans. But yeah, I think it went well." He nodded slowly.
Thari cocked his head. “Intercourse... precipitation man? What's that supposed to mean?"
The holographic form of Tavrin appeared beside the group. “Ah, of course the translator still doesn't parse curses correctly, due to humans'... unique forms of strong language. Every time we try to adjust it from the default, we get even worse results. Anyways, I'll leave you to it."
Ethan stood up and reached for the hologram. “Wait, there's something I want to know. How do you decide who to pair by the end?"
Tavrin sighed and glanced downhill. “Plenty of people have asked me that before. I have a process based on how every conversation in the sim went, but it's not something I can explain beyond that in what little time we have. I need to go now,. Lots of data to process, and all that." He blinked out of existence without a moment to pause.
Ethan groaned disappointedly and sat back down. Lara's paw patted his back as she reassured him. “Well, I think it's pretty much settled for the four of us, considering we spent this whole time just talking amongst ourselves."
Thari looked back down at the gathering of humans and mesos, his ears pointing forward. “Speak for yourself. I happened to say hi to several humans. Didn't manage to talk to any of them nearly as long as Em though."
Nolan laughed to himself. “Guess we failed, if the whole point was to socialize."
Ethan shuffled next to Thari and reached up to pet the fur between the Falashai's ears. “Or we just got insanely lucky and found our best match right away." Thari smiled and let out a deep quiet churr from the touch.
“Might as well tell yourself that, Em. Better than dwelling on what-ifs." Nolan said, moments before his vision was overtaken by a white void.
The small crowd of humans were quickly filling up the catwalk as Ethan stumbled out of the pod. Nolan took a moment to look down and inspect his body before stepping out himself. Tavrin's towering holographic form appeared in front of them yet again, silencing most of the idle chatter that had picked up. “Now, walk back where you came from and follow the path all the way to the end. The double doors past the barracks will be unlocked." He raised his translucent arm, and a blue highlight shimmered over the path leading back to the human's quarters. Tavrin turned to address the mesos on the other side of the room. “Same goes for you. We'll be gathering in the meeting hall where you trained for handling humans yesterday." He raised his clawed hand, and a larger blue light showed the way across the floor through the meso-sized doors. “Move along now. Don't keep your fellow soldiers waiting." He disappeared, leaving only the guiding blue lights on the ground.
Ethan leaned over the rail, spotting Lara and Thari among the varied crowd of mesos filing through the doors with their backs turned. He turned back and saw Nolan already descending the stairwell without a second glance. “I'm coming, just a sec!" He bolted down and walked down the stairs alongside Nolan. “I think that went well. Seemed like Lara ended up getting through to you, right?"
Nolan rolled his eyes. “Maybe, but not as much as that fox guy seemed to get to you." They reached the bottom of the stairs and strode alongside each other in the glowing walkway. “Didn't he seem... a bit too eager to you?"
Ethan stuttered for a second, not sure how to respond. “Well... he's really nice. I don't see the problem with that."
“You don't see the problem with being treated like a goddamn teddy bear by him? We're soldiers, Em. Have a little bit more respect for yourself." The man's voice grew louder and shakier.
Ethan's heart began pounding from the sudden escalation. “...That's not fair," he muttered in a heavy tone while clenching his fists. “You don't think I'm scared either, knowing what's about to happen?" He stopped walking and pointed down the walkway. “Thari and Lara and all the other aliens waiting for us there are fucking huge and powerful and all we can do is trust them not to fuck up. I'm terrified for my fucking life but all I wanted was some comfort, some..." His voice broke up and his throat felt tight.
Nolan reached to Ethan's shoulder and patted the back of his arm. “I get it. I didn't mean to come after you like that. Let's just walk." The two men gradually got back in their stride. “If they do fuck up, or if something else goes wrong while we're with them... I won't be able to protect you. That's the whole point I've been trying to make, Em."
Ethan took deep breaths as the two finally rounded the corner and passed the human barracks. “We've come so far already. All this time and all the way across the galaxy... we can't just cower in fear at the possibility of some freak accident." He paused in front of the double doors leading to the meeting room where the rest of the humans were waiting by now, placing his hand on it. “There wasn't any point in trying if we can't trust them." He pushed it and walked inside, allowing Nolan to follow him through a moment later.
The meeting room's ceiling was almost as tall as the main hall they left behind. Rows of seats occupied by mesos lined the opposite side of the room. The sight vaguely evoked memories of a college classroom to Nolan. To their left, the rest of the humans were already seated as well in appropriately sized chairs, with what appeared to be markings of a runway painted on the floor where they all faced. At the front of the room stood Ulvhakar and Debora's mech, looking down at the final two humans entering the room. Overall, the atmosphere was less welcoming than the simulation's fresh air and natural sunlight, contrasting with the less flattering smell of being in a relatively small room with a large crowd of giant aliens and the harsh lights beating down on them.
The Lupari officer cleared his throat and began his speech as the pair found empty seats. “You have all walked into this room on equal footing, human and meso alike. This was by design; our facility was built to allow humans to come and go as they please without needing assistance. Mobility is not the primary purpose for guardians to accompany charges during training. Debora?" He stepped back and let the mech take the floor.
“Many of you have undoubtedly heard the countless tales of guardian and charge relationships, and the connotations they've brought since our integration began. And while those stories are based on exceptional examples that make for a compelling listen, they're very much an inevitable product of the benefits pairing brings us. Guardian and charge aren't to be seen as ranks, or even roles. You're entering the program as individuals and getting through it as inseparable, unstoppable duos. Take pride in that, and never forget it."
Tavrin blinked into existence next to Ulvhakar. “And now that I've done the necessary work, we can finally begin the pairing process. I will be calling the mesos in this room one by one to approach this area," he raised an arm, and the runway lit up for a few moments, “and call their charge to be retrieved. Ulvhakar, if you will?"
The wolflike man put his paw hand next to the mech's chest plate as it opened up. Debora stepped into the Lupari's upturned palm and crouched low to steady her center of gravity as she was carried close to the runway by her guardian. The human recruits all gazed wordlessly at the sight of their officer towering above them and stepping just close enough to drop off Debora. She regained her posture and spoke to them, finally without the need for a loudspeaker for the first time. “This will be simple for you. Just wait for them to lower their paw and climb in. Make sure to prepare yourself by not standing straight and ideally lowering yourself to all fours to compensate for any possible shifting. Observe." She walked to the end of the runway, prompting Ulvhakar to lower his paw hand for her flat on the ground. She climbed onto it and turned to face the human recruits, displaying a low crouch with her hands flat on the Lupari's palm pad. She was lifted back up, and Ulvhakar turned to face the mesos. “Always remember to carry the charge close to your belly for leverage and so they have something to lean against. In case you have not looked down at your desks, they contain a retractable human desk, so make sure to let them get off next to it." He returned to the front, dropping Debora back in her mech.
Tavrin began the process of listing off a meso name and then a human name and waiting for the retrieval to finish before repeating with the next pair. Ethan and Nolan got a close look at every meso in the program as they loomed over the slowly dwindling pool of recruits. The mesos were comprised in part of species they were now personally familiar with, such as dragon-like Arkatians, wolf-like Lupari, rabbit-like Viliti, and foxlike Falashai. Many more of the mesos were of species they had yet to be acquainted with, that had similarities to mice, hyenas, squirrels, horses, cats, and gryphons. As for the humans, several of them appeared timid or hesitant during their first retrieval. Those were the exception, however, as many others bravely took their first steps in stride, with a few seeming to be highly enthusiastic about their pairing.
Once nearly every human around them had disappeared from their seat, Nolan and Ethan heard something that jolted them back to attention. “Thari Ennvim and Ethan Morrow." Ethan immediately jumped out of his seat, his legs shivering as he stepped down the marked path with Nolan watching intently behind him. He felt his heart beating like a drum as the towering form of Thari approached him. His view started at the Falashai's black furred paws impacting the ground; he had to consciously shake himself out of the fear response and try to look further up.
Thari's face was so distant amid the intimidating silhouette of the vulpine, but the expression on his fuzzy face formed itself into one of concern. “Are you okay, Em? You smell... worried." Thari whispered as he crouched down and lowered his paw hand flat on the ground.
The familiar sound of Thari's voice immediately snapped Ethan out of his train of thought. He clenched his fists and did his best to link the memories of his new friend from the simulation to the reality of the towering predator in front of him as he stepped forward and climbed into Thari's paw. He looked down at the black fur and pads, staying on his hands and knees as he caressed them with his hands. Suddenly he felt the ground beneath him shift like the sensation of being in an elevator. He looked up to see the fabric of Thari's uniform rapidly approach him as the Falashai held the man close to his torso and carefully walked back to his seat. “Just breathe, Em. I got you."
“I know... I know I can trust you," Ethan uttered under his breath. Thari flicked his ears, and he looked down to give a warm smile, still careful not to expose his teeth.
Nolan leaned back in his seat and waited patiently as every single human around him were called. At long last, Tavrin spoke as the final recruit was carried off. “Zhylara Thae'mirr and Nolan Hayes." Deep down he knew this was inevitable, and he finally felt emotionally ready to face it. He stood tall and strode forth with outward confidence, ignoring the palpations in his chest.
Lara arrived in front of Nolan, her paw lowering as she looked closely at the man for any signs of distress. She realized quickly that he was hesitating and whispered down to him. “I've done this with humans many times before, and I've even had this same thing done to my proxy. I promise you'll be okay, Nolan." She smiled as the man gingerly climbed onto her paw and crouched low.
Nolan recognized the trepidation in every part of his body as he settled into her paw. Even now, knowing Lara, he couldn't help himself from feeling this way. As his arms and legs sunk into Lara's pads, he was stricken by just how soft and warm it was, especially when contrasted with the metal floors and walls surrounding them at all times. It was nothing like this place, nothing like anything back home either. This was a living being supporting his entire weight and slowly lifting him effortlessly. A person he had gotten to know, who now had this immense level of physical power over him.
She lifted him gently and carefully, the delicate fur of her paw brushing the sides of his arms. Nolan looked up to her and swallowed. “Thank you, Lara," he uttered, without consciously processing his words, too lost in his own thoughts. He had to believe this wasn't surrender, that he was putting his trust in a new compatriot that he had to trust with his life in a way he wasn't yet familiar with. The movement of her strides back to her seat rocked him like a cradle. He settled into the comforting warmth and told himself that it was okay to feel good about this, at least for now.