FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

A sea of unknown faces, drilling judgement beneath your fur, judging you without a look. More terrifying are the ones you know, always you struggle to trust the ones who love you.

Felix shot up, his alarm finally persistent enough to wake up from the vivid dreams… no, that was definitely a nightmare. More than anything about it, he hated that he knew exactly what it meant. It was nights like that that kept him from getting a dream journal like he sometimes thought of getting. The idea of immortalizing those thoughts… horrifying.

Shaking himself free from his musings, Felix realized with a start what day it was, and wished he could just go back to sleep. His whole family had been trying to convince him how much fun high school was going to be, and none of his had done much to convince him. But despite his many objections, there was no avoiding this day, aside from maybe running away, but Felix wasn't quite that desperate yet, and besides, he figured he'd survive maybe a week, tops. Standing at around 5'8, and built like a twig, he wasn't exactly made for the outside world.

Finally, after hoping he might just wake up from another bad dream, Felix finally hopped out of bed, putting on one of his many plain white T-shirts, a pair of jeans, his vans, and his favorite pale-blue jacket. Then, he started packing his school bag that he promised to pack last night, then unsurprisingly forgot to.

He was just about to step downstairs before stopping himself. With a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, he turned to his desk and picked up his drumsticks. No matter how bad today was about to be, he had band class to look forward to at the end of the day, and if anything was going to make him feel better, it would be hitting shit for like an hour. Then, with dread-filled steps, Felix walked downstairs. Nobody was there to greet him, as usual, his parents were off at work, leaving him alone with his thoughts as he waited for the bus.

Felix felt like he'd heard at least a million different words by now, but not a single one was important for him to remember. It didn't help that every class, the teacher was basically saying the exact same thing, “blah blah blah, I hope you are all feeling welcome here, blah blah blah I can't wait to get to know you all during the next however long you're stuck here, blah blah blah here's a syllabus, oh, there's the bell, same time tomorrow." After the second time he heard this, Felix was convinced that he was never going to see home again, he just prayed he wouldn't have to do any idiotic icebreakers and talk to people he had nothing in common with. Of course, as soon as he thought this, the next two classes were essentially nothing but awkward conversations with people, not least of all was that stoat girl, Hazel, who thought an awful lot of herself, and who Felix somehow always managed to be stuck with, talk about insufferable.

The only reprieve came in fifth period where a cat that Felix knew he had gone to middle school with, but for the life of him couldn't remember the name of, threw an eraser at the teacher's head while she wasn't looking, and somehow managed not to get caught, all with the biggest grin on their face. That made Felix smile.

Finally, after an agonizing few hours, Felix practically ran to the music hall, the one place he knew he'd fit in. As he walked down the hall to the room, he opened his backpack and dug out his sticks and clutched them tightly. It's just four years, people spend way longer in prison, and they turn out fine… I think. Hmm, maybe I should just go to prison, maybe that would be bet- “oof!"

Felix was jolted from his musings as he bumped into someone's back, causing them both to trip and fall over each other. It was the same serval from fifth period, what were they doing here?

“The hell was that dude; you didn't see me standing in the middle of the hallway like an asshole?" The cat quickly untangled themselves from the dazed bunny and jumped up with a grin on their face.

“S-Sorry… I was just um… sorry…" Felix stammered out as he pawed around on the floor, trying to find his sticks and not at all picking up on the cat's clear lack of real frustration."

“What the fuck are you apologizing for?" The cat extends a yellow paw out to Felix, which he gingerly accepts with his brown paw. The cat then extends his other paw, which is holding his drumsticks. “You're Felix, right?"

“Y-yeah, uh that's me. Sorry, I don't remember your name…"

“Nah that's chill, I just remember yours because you were that weird fucking rabbit in PE during middle school. You barely ever did anything but run, but you never did anything with it, no track, no sports of any kind just running and more running."

“Uh, yeah, that was me."

“Welp, glad to see you're still just as weird! My name's Rye, nice to meet 'cha." An arm suddenly flings around Felix's shoulders, and before he can react, they're walking through the doors to Band shoulder to shoulder. “Y'know, I've got a good feeling about you and me. I didn't know you played the drums, but that's cool as hell. I play the guitar, but the teacher told me I couldn't play that which I think is dumb, because personally I think people would fall asleep way less if an electric guitar was added to these old ass pieces, but anyways, I had to dig out my old trumpet if I wanted this easy A. What I really want to do is start like a real band, like not whatever this shit is," They motion to the whole of the classroom, of which every other student was now staring back at Rye, who was seemingly oblivious to them until just now.

“Well, that's… certainly one way to kick off the new year" an older looking Golden Retriever chuckled as the class slowly turned to face him. “Welcome to, as you so aptly put it, whatever this shit is, my name, as I'm sure many of you know, is Bailey Rodgers- “

“I actually didn't know that, I'm glad he said something before I called him a good boy~" Rye whispers into Felix's ear, who is doing his best to ignore them, but fails to hide his smirk at Rye's dumb joke.

“…But Bailey is quite fine with me." Bailey, who definitely heard Rye's not so subtle comment, but remains professional. “No need to act like we're not all here for the same reason, that being to make music! Now then, let's hear a B flat scale to see where we are, oh right, Felix, you're our percussionist correct?

Shyly, but with way more confidence knowing he'd never be able to top anything Rye does on purpose or by accident, Felix stands up. “That's right sir."

“I'm sorry, but today is going to be rather boring for you, as we're just getting a feel for the class, and we won't need you to play. Why don't you introduce yourself to Casey, our bassist!"

Fuck. Felix tried to hide his disappointment, but his ears drooped regardless as he shuffled to the back of the room, where a crow, presumably Casey, was already sitting, scrolling on his phone, and clearly a year or so older than him and Rye.

“Yo."

“Uh, hi, I'm Felix."

“Yep... I heard."

“Oh, sorry…"

The crow sighed and turned his phone off. “You've got nothing to apologize for, but you've gotta stop being so jumpy, everyone is chill here, I promise."

“Right…"

Things didn't get any less awkward for the rest of the class period, Casey would occasionally speak up with some weird advice Felix didn't really understand, and whenever Felix would start nervously drumming absentmindedly on the floor or wherever, he'd get told to cut it out. But otherwise, he mostly just kept an eye on Rye, who wasn't actually too bad of a player for how little he seemed to care about things. Occasionally he would turn around to make a funny face or mock whatever Bailey was yapping about. But otherwise, the next hour was disappointing to say the least. Felix sighed as his bus rolled up, and shuffled his way on to an uncomfortable seat, hoping people thought he was too weird to sit next to, but fortunately for him, someone did sit down.

“Rye? What are you doing on this bus?"

“Uhh, riding it, duh."

Confused, Felix looked around, wondering if he got on the wrong bus. “Is this your bus? I didn't see you this morning!"

“Yeah, that's because I wasn't on it this morning. I'm on it because it's the one you're on." Rye glanced over to Felix with a stupid smirk like he just pulled off some elaborate prank."

Felix's ears flattened with worry. “What if you get caught?"

“You really think they're gonna give a shit what bus we get on?"

“I don't know, maybe, why risk it though!?"

“Jeez, the crow's right, you _do _worry way too much."

Felix sank into his seat. This wasn't at all what he thought today was going to be like. This was way scarier; he could feel his heart pounding. But Rye had a point, maybe he should just let this happen. I mean what's worse, fading away on your own, or taking a chance with some friends who care?

Friends was... not something Felix often considered, but the more he thought about it, the less scary it seemed. He'd felt so alone for a few years now, like nothing he did matered, maybe it was time to consider filling that void with, well, something.

I guess it could be worse, Felix thought as he sighed deeply and watched as Rye pulled out a lighter and started absentmindedly flicking it on and off. I think they might need me as much as I need them…