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Amelie’s Self-Discovery

Chapter TwoA(starting from the prologue)

She had trouble sleeping that night, more because of her worries than the headache. Waking up at 4am with a massive headache was common now for her as the years pilled up, and then she could not fall asleep again. “So worth it though!” She would think to herself on the next morning as the sun blasted its rays on her face as she forgot to close her blinds. She could not hide this anymore, Vivian knew! and it didnt go badly at all. The implications of what shes done would come to her as she brushed her teeth, the buzz of the electric toothbrush working to bring her back to her usual worrying. God what was she doing!

Lusting after a man almost half her age! and hes not even hot, just a lanky kid with a big heart and dubious tastes or at least thats what she didnt want to believe… He would not act so wholesome and understanding with her if he didnt want something from her. She became so anxious and lost in thought she barely notice that her gums hurt and she had been brushing her teeth for 20 minutes.

She groaned in pain and rinsed her maw, the painful tingling took her mind off that predicament and instead of getting something to eat she went back to bed and texted Vivian.

“Did i really tell you all that: oh god im so sorry :c”

“Aww why would i be mad at you, im glad you finally have a chance with someone.”

“Its just the weight of it finally sinking in and i dont know what to do with myself till monday”

“Messege him something apropriate maybe”

lifting her head she thought of what to do next, and came to the conclusion that she should calm herself down before anything else. She ordered vanilla ice cream with peanut butter chunks via instacart and turned on her kettle.

“What the heck am i feeling” She asked herself, her heart still pounding on her throat after the first sip of her oolong tea.

“It will pass, this is fine!” She lied to herself.

She looked at his icon on her contact list, the last thing she texted him was an article months ago. She thought of what to say. The doorbell dinged, her order arrived and she gnawed the containers open right there on the floor, and with her chunky toes and her cream-smeared nose, she began to type.

“I dont really know what to say, i still feel like you shouldve not seen me meltdown like that. But thank you so much Michael” She set the phone aside like it was on fire and feared the moment it would ping. Until then her snoot was deep into the pint of ice cream.

“I can say im used to it, got some neurodivergent siblings so its just something ive grew used to.”

“i stil think i have been venting too often with you”

“How so, i can never get tired of your voice. Its so soothing”

Amelie froze, staring at the screen as a strange warmth spread along her body. She coundnt believe she was blushing for a man for the first time in years. and she could swear she wasnt wrong about him loving her this time, How could he? Not a single indication of confusion or shame was ever in his face or his words. No hesitation in treating her with respect, calls her ma’am.

Maybe she did love him.

She sent him a puppy emoji and left it as that. She had no idea of what to say and maybe she did not need to say anything else, if he liked her back then…

Amelie went to her bathroom and gazed at herself for a long time, it was not common for her to do so and besides for being sure her hair looked okay, she avoided it. Her eyes stood out, their small, bright hazel irises setting her apart from other borzois along with her chestnut curly long hair, it being slightly darker than the curly splotches she had on her otherwise shiny white coat. In better days she prized herself for how she cared for her coat and recognized the beauty her body had, but today all she could see was how bloodshot her eyes were and how matted and dirty the fur on her long, narrow face was. A face with a nose too big for it.

“God, I’m so stupid! How could he…” She whispered to herself.

She dragged herself to her bed and slithered her long body back under the sheets.

“I hope this is true and not that crush on Brandan all over again.” She whispered to herself, all curled up in her blankets.

Few things had affected her as much as Brandan nervously getting up and leaving after she opened up to him all those years ago back in university. They were still attending classes for their degree and besides Vivian, he was one of her few good friends. The way he dealt with her so naturaly deceived her into thinking he liked her back.

And now she felt the same way with Michael, and just like before she could not help feeling like this.

[scene break]

He did not show up monday and that worried her greatly, did he know? was he also too nervous to anything about it? She did her best to go on with her work week, trying to forget she was going to have to work the next saturday. She was so restless she even went to stores in person for her errands. “Oh so youre the dog lady Gus always talks about.” they would say to her as she handed (well, mouthed) the credit cart to them. She was glad they ended up being nice people.

“So what happened ?” She texted Michael as she arrived home, Amelie never was strict with her interns as she never really had to be, this was out of the ordinary. She worried that he was actually in trouble, and as far as she knew he lived far away from his family now…

She paced back and forth in her living room waiting for an answer, the idle time made her realize how much her neck hurt, she should buy less things at once next time. After what seemed like forever her phone pinged, and she dashed to it, almost crashing into the coffee table.

“HEY I’m sorry i’ve been stuck in my room with a fever since sunday and i legit forgot to give you a heads up.”

“Its fine darling” It was not, him not being there doubled her workload and she had to dump the more physical part of the work onto her other interns,and she was calling him darling all of a sudden?

“Im sure its not but im so glad you wont skin me for this”

“Do you need anything?” Wait what? what was she doing? It was like someone else had taken over her body, her worries over her crush turning all her inhibition into dust.

“Ive been managing on some tylenol that i had laying around but i appreciate that you asked.”

“I can bring you dinner, what have you been eating?”

“I just had half a pack of crackers, and you dont have to, really.”

“I could come over and order you some pho, i think its just what you need.”

He answered with a flustered emoji.

In that moment she thought she went too far and too quick. Amelie let go of a few expletives and asked herself what had taken over her head and why did she have to like this goober. Her eyes raced back to the screen as soon as she heard the ping.

“I Mean i would like to have you over and gosh pho sounds great right now”

“Oh god.”

[scene break]

Amelie didnt get why he kept apologizing for how his room looked, it was cleaner than her apartment. At that moment she sat on his bed, warming herself on his crumpled comforter. The room itself looked like it had been hurriedly tidied up and she could see a few bits of discarded packages and a sock on the floor, but it smelled alright to her and she’s seen worse. Michael sat across from her on his computer chair, behind him was his desk with piles of dusty papers and books.

Michael was hunched over, occasionally blowing his nose on a square of toilet paper.

“I just hope you dont catch this from me, but its great having you here” Michaels good mood was still clearly perceptible despite that he was sick.

“I can’t get infected by human viruses so its alright”

“Thats amazing!” He Sneezed.

“i guess so, by the way our pho should be getting here soon”

Michael let out a giggle, failing to conceal his eagerness “Honestly i’m still speechless about this.”

“Dont say it, i just get worried with you being alone here.” She tried to make it sound very matter-of-fact, but her pride was noticeable on the way she cocked her head sideways.

“youre sounding like my mom”

Amelies tail and ear drooped “People say id be a good one if i had the chance, but im not that sure myself”

“About that, ive always been curious, like, can you…”

“I’m all made of dog DNA, nothing special about it. its why i’ve been left alone, im useless as a research specimen, nothing in me makes sense.” She sighed, she always wondered if answers would have helped her at all. “That means i could have a child but who knows what would come out?” She cocked her head to the other side.

“Then… how? magic i guess?” He leaned forward, intrigued.

“its also my best guess” If she could shrug she would in this moment.

A beep from her phone told them that their food arrived, she went to the door to pick it up. The delivery man looked at her then at the empty corridor, shoo’d her than placed the food down and left.

“That was rude!” Micheal said standing in the doorway of his room.

“Its easier this way, trust me” She struggled to speak while holding the bag in her maw. Not long after he was eating the hot, rich and brothy noodles, she could see Michaels mood improve instantly… after one or two coughing fits. Hers stayed closed for now, she assured Michael she would eat it soon. Maybe.

“How did you know this would make me feel better? Also its been forever since i had vietnamese, cant thank you enough.” He said with his voice becoming less nasal with every word said.

“Its nothing, you needed it. and i feel i havent done enough to repay you, with how hard you’ve been working. Finding someone like you is so rare.” Her voice lowered as she said the last sentence, amelie would be flushing if she could.

“And by that you mean?”

“Michael, its hard to find someone that treats me like a person, even at work, you must have noticed it. It’s been hard to cope with it and the lenghts you go to make sure im comfortable matter a lot to me.” She felt the weight of her anxiety shed off her back, and her eyes went back to him, to his shocked expression, the hand holding the chopsticks frozen in place.

“Wow, im sorry i guess i overlooked so much of it.” Amelie nodded.

“About my voice, did you really meant that?” She couldnt help wagging her tail as she asked.

“Yes! your voice is so soothing and beautiful, i dont get how you dont sing.” He said smiling brightly at her.

“Oh Gosh i dont have the guts to sing even by myself, but thank you so much.” She couldnt hide her happiness, and they both giggled for a moment.

“Ma’am your food is getting cold, if you want i can get out for a bit…”

“Oh it’s… it’s fine i swear, i will eat right here and you can stay.”

“Please dont feel like you have to.”

“first time for everything right?”

Amelie pulled the container close to where Michael was and popped the lid off. It was a good thing the floor was tiled, she couldnt stop thinking of what would happen if she spilled it, she would end up too embaressed to ever look at his face again.. All the willpower in the world could not stop her legs from shaking as the tried to eat from it,and the throbbing pit she felt in her throat made swallowing harder but she still did it, not long later she managed to eat most if it. When she lifted her head from the container Michael surprised her with a hug.

“Daw you did it!” “Can i say im proud ? cause i am.”

“Oh you… okay, thank you.”

They remained sat close to one another on the floor and Amelie kept wagging her tail, unable to hide her excitement.

“Its pre-pretty good and im gla-glad it is, never ordered from there before.” She said while stuttering, trying to defuse the awkwardness.

“Yea it was some great pho”

Amelie breathed in deeply, laying on the floor and resting her head on his lap. This surprised Michael, who kept his hands on the floor as if he was unsure on what to do with them.

“Maybe we can eat our lunch in my office again? as long as i dont freak out again…”

“Y-yes yes we could.” he said while nodding.

Amelie looked up at him, and saw him smiling at her. She wished she could smile back. Feeling so satisfied yet so uncomfortable in her own body, she got back up, shaking herself to tidy up her clothes and looked back at him.

“Can i count on you being back to work soon?” She asked him, going back to her usual tone. Michael got up and wiped the fur off his pants.

“I’ll try to be there tomorrow, are you leaving? i looked forward to introducing you to my roomates when they were back.”

“I should, i’ll just call a driver, same way i got here.”

Walking down those slippery stairs of his apartment building while she felt so euphoric yet confused was a challenge. In her mind, she could not decide if what she was doing was okay or not, or even come to the conclusion that she liked him or not. In either way it was the closest she felt to someone she was into in years and so she pranced happily on her way out of the building, the world blurring into colorful shapes and daydreams of him and herself running together in some beach under the night sky, her heartbeat turning into music, the bright city lights all merging into fireworks.

She forgot about her ride and ran all the way home.