Why Don’t You Speak A Little Louder
Wrote this for the end of Autism Awareness Month last year. I’d like to think all my poetry comes from my perspective as an autistic person but this poem talks about silence and just the way I communicate. Originally written at the end of April 2023, originally posted at the beginning of May 2023.
Why Don’t You Speak A Little Louder
By: A.X. Bueno
Speaking up for yourself has always been a struggle
It’s not easy when there’s many voices to juggle
In the conversation that is along with that inner voice that’ll pop up in your head
Telling you not to speak up or interrupt as if you have something worthy of being said
So you hesitate even though you know that’s wrong
There’s just that feeling that you’d screw up by talking because you don’t belong
Feeling out of sync and invisible in a sense to those around
Sometimes you’ll get reassured that that’s in your head but others it’ll be that way
So you find it easier to not make an unnecessary sound
You’ll keep silent as you feel you need to to try and have an easier day
And that can work well to keep harsh comments and unwanted attention at bay
They wonder why you stay silent and it’s mostly for defense
There’s been times you’ve been snapped at for forgetting not to add your two cents
You can be impulsive and let that get to you
Wanting to help out when it’s something you felt you knew
Of course it’s not any person’s or any individual experiences fault for you to place blame
Plenty of this is on the machinations of your own brain
For that’s also how you are and you’ve got people you feel comfortable enough to trust
Still they tell you to speak up more and sometimes that just feels unjust
Sure a good chunk of your hesitancy to is your own brain but there’s still bad experiences too
If only there was a bit more understanding and patience towards why you struggle
And how there’s reasons to why and how much circumstantially you don’t or do