Uncertain If You Should Tug That Loose Cord
A poem I wrote for pride month last year. A poem about strained connections making certain things harder than usual like coming out. This is a bit of an abstract/metaphorical one but I tried to make the message clear. I’m sure we all have at least one “cord” like this in our lives, what you decide to do with yours is your own decision. Originally posted in June 2023.
Uncertain If You Should Tug That Loose Cord
By: A.X. Bueno
There's a thread that connects you both that is loose but still runs deep
It's a connection that you wish was stronger sometimes and that you can struggle to keep
Not intentionally but there's a rough history that's undeniably there
Which means there's plenty that you never get the chance to really share
There are things you learned from others later or avoid talking about all together
But there's one thing of which you wish you could just make them aware
However there's a risk to that when the connection between you is so loose
You haven't seen each other in person in years
You think about it almost like it's your excuse
You keep in touch sometimes though but that doesn't alleviate your fears
Because you know some confessions resulting in cutting the other person off or even in tears
You've come out with it to a few others before but that was different
The connection, the cord you share in this case isn't the same
It's looser, could break easier and even if you can't help it you'd feel to blame
Because you could go your whole life without telling them
There's enough distance between you both that you don't have to risk it
There's a chance that they'll never come to know
The thought depresses you sometimes and creates an unshakable woe
Because they should be there to be able to know but the connection is slim
There's so much else you'd also have to catch them up on that you usually skim
Because there's only so much you're willing to share when they're so far away
It's time and inherent connection that upholds the cord but it could be broken someday
By this confession or the wrong thing either of you unintentionally chooses to say
Which leaves you feeling like you should keep your secret
Save the rainbow revelation for a future day
Lest you be crushed
By that connection breaking or what they could in response potentially say
At this point it's only hypotheticals
It would take some courage and a good reason to tug the cord of that connection
And how much of either do you really have anyway?