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Note: This story contains characters and possibly spoilers in regards to the ‘Finding Family’ comic series, written by Alexei Prowess and illustrated by Maririn. Some themes may or may not be to your liking so I advice checking the tags before reading. Otherwise, have a good read and enjoy.

Finding what needed healing

‘This isn’t going as well as I thought.’ Jonathan said as he sat down on the grass and looked up at the sky. Looking around and taking in the scenery of the beautiful park yet…it all felt so empty. The medicine he had been taking to start his treatment really had done a number on him…but it was better, much better than what he had been for the past few years.

It had been some time ever since he had managed to make the decision, the decision after hearing those words. ‘I can’t let someone who mistreats their family to manage the family business.’ Those words…had shook him deep, so much deeper than anything he could remember. That day when he was back home, he cried, he cried until his throat hurt, until he could speak no more, until he broke all empty bottles in the house. When he came to be, he was on the floor.

How? How had it come this? Why?

He was doing the right thing! That’s what he thought at least, but he was wrong…so so wrong. That day when he had seen his mother’s face with tears and his father’s rage, it was then he began to understand and see. To look at himself and be able to see it with the same eyes his brother and the rest of the family had been seeing him all this time.

It was horrible.

He couldn’t hold back when those feeling rushed inside, he couldn’t drink and eat for almost an entire day. Forgive himself? That thought never crossed his mind for a minute, he was more than ashamed and he couldn’t find an answer and even at that moment, he didn’t know who to turn to or what to do. It was through sheer luck or perhaps he really was blessed that his father-no, his family still had the heart to help with his problem, but those awful feelings didn’t stop even after the first day, that day he had been told how severe his problems were.

And there he was, looking at the sky under a three on a park, watching passersbys walk and even seeing some people from the hospital walk by, he almost envied the look they had, as if they didn’t have much to worry, they looked forward to a future, but couldn’t do that. He was scared, scared that he wouldn’t have been able to look at his mother, at everyone else ever again.

Maybe they are better witho-

“Sir, you dropped this.” A gentle and almost meek voice spoke from behind him, he didn’t know who it was but looking back, he was very lucky he decided to turn around because that voice belonged to one of the two people who would help him get out of the hell he was in.

It was a tiger, a rather young one at that, he looked to be the same age as some of his nephews. His fur was a light shade of cream so light he almost looked like white but his eyes were what made Jonathan be silent for a second, they were red, a vibrant crimson that would leave someone frightened if they belonged to someone else but this tiger did the opposite. He didn’t look like he could hurt a single fly, he wasn’t sure if it was because of how young the tiger was or something else but he didn’t feel like saying anything…until he saw what the tiger was holding.

“…Ah! Wait is that my phone?!” Jonathan exclaimed as he grabbed it in a hush, worried that the young feline had seen something he shouldn’t or he had missed some call from his father. Luckily after checking and seeing nothing amiss but now he was left awkwardly staring at him as the tiger smiled.

“You dropped your phone on your walk sir, I as calling out to warn you but you weren’t listening.” He explained as he sat down beside him. Jonathan grumbled and looking away as he realized how stupid he had to be at that moment to not have realized his phone was missing.

“Wait, wait a second where are your parents? You didn’t follow me alone and got lost right?”

“Oh no no, father is over there buying some ice cream for me, we were just having a walk as well so it was no problem.” He happily chuffed as he talked while Jonathan tried to come up with something to say but was only able to muster an introduction.

“I’m-I’m Jonathan, Jonathan Fretchman…thanks kid.” Bashfully, the leopard thanked him as he looked at the direction he was pointing, seeing a figure approaching the two and the tiger waving, he gave a sigh of relief believing he wouldn’t have to deal with talking much more. He had too much on his mind to properly speak, no matter who it was.

“Oh right! I’m Theodore by the way, I heard you’ll be visiting the hospital more to participate in a program, maybe we’ll meet again!” Jonathan looked at him again with a puzzled look, he was too young to be hospital staff so what exactly did he mean…and more importantly, he had heard?

“Ah there you are Theo, I see you found the man you were looking for.” He could swear he felt a slight shiver go down his spine as he heard the deep and powerful voice approach the two, he wasn’t the type to be intimidated by voices, looks and even threats never really worked on him. But that voice alone was something else.

Even during the times his mind wasn’t at its best, he had been somewhat of a social fellow, going out and being the louder one in the room, that had led him to meet many different faces in his life but the towering figure in front of the two was not something he saw often. This man was easily bigger than him and most people he had ever met, his fur much the same color as the tiger that sat beside him except for his mane. He could see the resemblance, the same crimson eyes, and even gaze but whereas the tiger had a more soothing air, this man was much similar to his father or even brother, a man who was composed to the core. Was it shock that hit him? Or maybe the medicine he had taken was too effective, regardless he didn’t feel like moving and simply listened to the bigger feline speak.

“Yeah! I’m glad we caught up to you sir we were quite worried since you seemed to be in a daze and not listening to anyone, are you ok?” The tiger asked. Why did he have to deal with something like this so soon? His hands were shaking as he nervously tried to answer but unexpectedly, he was interrupted.

“Theodore…” Effortlessly, the liger picked up the tiger, holding him tenderly as one would expect of a father and son, handing the young feline an ice cream cone, he looked down at Jonathan, and as he now had the same tender gaze the tiger had. “I apologize, he is a bit too curious for his own good.”

It felt familiar, so much it hurt, seeing that reminded him of those warm times he had with his brother before he…

“Don’t worry about it, thank you for bringing my phone back.” He recomposed himself now that he was seeing such a sight he managed to push out those words that were stuck in the back of his throat. “But what did he mean by hearing I joined a program?”

The liger took a deep breath as he looked at Theodore who gave a bite on his frozen treat and smiled nervously. “Well I actually my family is a benefactor of the rehab facility, I sometimes handle some of the paperwork and drug usage in my father’s place, I’m not your counselor but it’s likely we’ll meet often during your visits, perhaps introductions now are not a bad idea.” Jonathan stared, dumbfounded by the situation he was in now. “I’m Disco Schade, this little fellow here is my precious treasure, Theodore Schade, hope we may have other chats like this.” He sounded…so cordial, that made Jonathan calm down as he listened, even if he was still a bit shaken, he felt better now.

“Nice to meet you as well…Disco, I’m surprised you went through the trouble of bringing this back instead of letting it there.” The liger tried to speak but the tiger in his arms beamed with joy as he answered.

“You looked very sad so I thought something good happening to you would help you snap out of it sir- I mean Jonathan! Besides, it’s common sense to help those in need right? Otherwise, I think that person is garbage” Geez…how much more blunt could this kid be?

“I…well thanks a lot for that, you’re very brave for doing that.” That small praise had the tiger smiling from ear to ear.” You said you donate to the hospital but also supervise the medicine? Are you a doctor from somewhere? ”

“Not quite.” He cleared his throat. “My father works on the medical field, he provides budget but also experimental medicine for some places, it is not what I currently work with, but I have my own interests in helping recovering addicts and I have the qualifications to do that, so I help him when the opportunity comes, I’m on vacation of sorts and surprisingly this little fellow suggested we help his grandpa!”

“Grandpa is very smart! He and grandfather aren’t around a lot but the two of them always take me to fun places when we manage to have a family trip.” The heartwarming smile from the tiger was a much-needed breather he needed to see, listening to the young feline talk was nice but those words eventually reached him the more he spoke. ‘Grandpa and grandfather? So that means…’

Disco, noticing the shift in the leopard’s expression, he sat down so the two were on the same level while Theodore sat between the two.”Is something wrong ?”

“No, nothing at all it’s just, from the way you’re talking it sounds like you have a reason for calling them different names.”

“Yeah! That’s right! I call one of them grandpa and the other grandfather, they have been together for a long time.” It wasn’t something a child would catch on to but Disco certainly did, the look on the leopard’s face as a part of those words seemed to resonate with him, he wasn’t back to being sad, rather he was simply torn on what to say, his face alone said a lot and his salvation came quicker than he thought.

“Theodore, we should go back home, it’s getting late and I’ll make your favorite chicken when we get home.” Disco caressed his head again as the young feline let out a chuff. “Yay! But wait Dad I want to talk more with him!” He pouted.

“Don’t worry we’ll meet Mr.Jonathan again someday I’m sure, we can even invite him over.” Both Jonathan’s and Theodore’s eyes widened as Disco said that, the tiger escaping his grasp and jumping a little in place. “Now go on ahead a little, I need to talk with him privately for a minute.”

Theodore nodded as he ran a little ahead to the main trail of the park.”Apologies, he is a very excitable one.”

“No…I’m just surprised, he looks so happy no matter what he says, it reminds me of someone, thank you for taking some time to talk to me.” Jonathan let out a small smile seeing the tiger wave from afar.

“Well, I can tell you have a lot on your mind right now, perhaps after a few days why don’t you and I have a few more chats? I’m sure he would be happy to see you again if you came over someday.” The liger began walking as he looked back at him.

“Oh but we just met, I’m sure he’ll forget soon…”

“You’d be surprised, he is very quick to attach and notice things, he is like a little angel sometimes when he comes to cheer me up, it might be an abrupt meeting but I have to say you seem quite interesting.” With a final wave, the liger left the stunned leopard alone again.

What…what had just happened? He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, he could just…watch as the father and son left after helping him clear his mind and then confused him just as much. How did something happen to him of all people?!

And why wasn’t he feeling bad about any of that?

He didn’t feel like he deserved such a moment in his day but…something told him that he was going to see a lot more than he originally thought while in his journey for recovery.

Looking back, I should have noticed the two were a bit different

and I think it was that

that little bit of eccentricity that made them wonderful.

It was around the middle of the month when I saw him again, this time Theodore wasn’t by his side, rather he wore a red scarf alongside a lab coat, I had just come out of the examination room after receiving news that despite drinking a little through the week, my alcohol levels were much more stable. Part of me wanted to just go back home, and maybe call one of my friends to hang out…but I was curious as to how he was.

“…” He had his back turned to me when I approached, I couldn’t believe a man his size could have such a calming and gentle presence. It was like being near still water just as it began to move. ”…hey Disco.”

“Oh! Good day to you Jonathan.” He hadn’t looked at him in the eyes when he turned around, the liger just kept his eyes on the checkboard as he greeted him cheerfully. “The week went by rather fast for me, how are you faring lately?”

“I’ve been doing better than I expected, I thought things would be much harder being here, it’s still a bit tough being on medication…but I’ve received some good news.” He almost mimicked the liger’s tone, doing so just as the feline put the board down and smiled.

“ I’d say it’s proof you are doing your best to get better if you’re receiving good news from here.” He put a hand on Jonathan’s shoulder.

“If you stick around for half an hour we could hang out a little, maybe get some burgers so I can take some for Theodore.” Tempted by the idea of sharing a meal with someone, even if he didn’t know them well, Jonathan nodded. Disco soon was pulled away by a doctor and the two began talking, leaving the leopard to sit by himself. Checking his phone and thinking about things so far, he thought back to their meeting at the park, how the liger always looked at everything with a solemn and serene expression. He was very different from his family in that part, remembering before he started making mistakes, everyone was always cheerful at parties or in general. But not him, he looked peaceful, Jonathan almost felt envious in a way, he just couldn’t shake off the curiosity as to how and why the liger was like that.

Amidst his daydreaming he heard the feline's voice again, waving at him as he reappeared from the hall making Jonathan notice how much time had passed. There wasn’t much to say after that, the two left the building after Disco had changed his clothes and headed for a dinner nearby. Talking about things like what they liked to do during their free time, food and even opening up a little about their families. Jonathan was still amazed, even through their chat his expression hadn’t changed much, until…

“So what led you to register to get treatment?” The question came out of nowhere, choking as he swallowed a piece of the hamburger and looking at him with wide eyes, like someone who was caught doing a bad thing, he felt nervous. “You don’t have to tell me you know.”

Jonathan waved his hand trying to get the liger to wait. “No, wait” He coughed. “It’s not that I don’t want to say, just give me a moment.” He could see it, ever so slightly the shift in his friend’s expression as he carefully listened. Jonathan took his time, one, two, and three deep breaths and he began speaking.

“Well...when I was intoxicated I did a lot of things that I regret now, but even before that I was making some mistakes, drinking to that extent and the way I acted during it was just what pushed everyone I love over the edge, I couldn’t live with it…the way everyone looked at me, my mother and even my brother, I just had to do something.” Tears began to fall, hitting the table faster than he expected. Jonathan knew explaining this would bring up tears, they were warm and left the feline’s face wet just as they fell.

But the leopard wasn’t the one that was shedding tears.

The man who always looked peaceful was crying, the sight shocking Jonathan to the point he didn’t shed tears himself despite remembering those awful memories. Like a painting, tears fell from his friend's face like a river, a constant stream on a face that always looked so happy, he didn’t look different, still the same expression as always…yet those eyes and tears said so much. It showed him that the liger truly, from the bottom of his soul, felt sad for him. Seeing his friend in pain, showing him that much empathy, made him feel it back, just like the day he had left Elias’s party, he froze and wanted to leave.

But someone held his hand this time.

Disco reached forward and held onto Jonathan’s hand, no words, just a simple gesture that meant to tell him. ‘It’s ok, we make mistakes’, he shouldn’t have felt happy. This man who knew next to nothing about him and was hearing things for the first time made him feel…forgiven like they were close friends from the beginning. Part of him wanted to say that he knew nothing, that it was wrong to do that and leave that moment. Instead, he just sat there and the two continued chatting over their meal. Talking like nothing had happened and sharing stories and fun moments.

That day, he learned a lot more about Disco after he came clean about his objective. He learned that even though he never showed much emotion, the liger liked to talk a lot like he could talk from day to night. He came from a rather small but respected family, his two fathers despite being doctors were rather different, one was a researcher while the other actually worked with the military, Disco himself was both an architect and doctor. He even found out the liger wasn’t adopted, Jonathan finding himself intrigued by the liger’s earlier life, he knew it wasn’t the same but he felt like he was beginning to understand how his family felt, Tobias in particular.

He listened to how the liger would always hear something from others because he had two fathers, how he would always endure it and smile despite everything but there was a key difference between him and the liger, Disco didn’t even have a brother. He listened as he explained how he was always quiet to the point his parents thought he was mute, even when he made friends he chose to hurt alone, despite all that he had found joy and happiness.

…

It wasn’t fair.

Why was he meeting someone like him, it was like the world was throwing it into his face that he was weak. Why did he have to be stronger than him?!

“Is something wrong? You look upset Jonathan.” He snapped back. The leopard thrown off by the question, looked down.

“That’s not really it, I’m not upset, I’m just jealous in a way.” He admitted.

“You’re jealous?”

“I-I don’t know if I can say everything yet but I just wanted to be strong enough to fix my mistakes all at once, you handled things by yourself without help and you ended up fine! How can that be?” He let out his frustration, almost expecting Disco to show some kind of anger or emotion like before. Instead, he was rewarded again by him, receiving another pat on his shoulder and a reassuring smile. “What?” Jonathan questioned.

“It’s ok to feel that way, Jonathan.”

“B-But why? You don’t think I’m being selfish for being this way?” The leopard looked at his shoulder, with the same hand giving him another pat just as it had done a few minutes ago.

“Because you’re being honest with me Jonathan, that’s what matters.” He could swear that if it wasn’t for the table, the liger would be hugging him. “It doesn’t matter that you’re feeling something like that, what matters is that you’re being honest with your feelings and me, if you do that then you can always solve your problems.” Was it really that simple? He really didn’t feel like he deserved such sympathy but maybe that was what he needed, he was beating himself over so much on how wrong he was that he had neglected what he needed to get better.

“Why are you being so nice to me, we’re not exactly close you know.”

“Who knows, why did Theodore feel like he needed to get your phone back and talk with you.” Jonathan stared at him again. “Sometimes things just happen, the fact you are opening up to me is what makes me feel that I want to help you, I’m glad we reached this far today.”

He almost blushed. The liger really knew how to get to him…but it was fine really, he missed that. “Well I think we should get going now, it’s late and I want to take these for Theodore.” He shook the bag of burgers.

“I guess so, I should be heading home as well, but hey now we’re more even.” He gave a big and wide smile towards him, the same one he often liked to offer those dear to him back when he was better. After Disco paid for their meal and bid him farewell, Jonathan began to think, he was very happy but…was that enough for him? Was that enough effort on his part to get better?

No

He was fine but this wasn’t just about him, he didn’t want to risk going back but above that, he wanted to be that Jonathan from the past now more than ever, if he was going to have someone like his new friend in his life, if he wanted to see Elias and his brother again…with the same vigor as that day he registered himself in the hospital, he left to go to the gym.

I was so determined to get better that I hadn’t noticed

These feelings that were growing inside me

Just like old times.

From that day on, Disco and I met more often, we didn’t always go out for food, sometimes a walk in the park or just chatting before leaving the hospital. We grew closer during that time, and eventually, I managed to slowly tell him a little more about myself and my past, he was quick to pick on that when I learned he had two father’s I was still a bit uncomfortable. I never managed to see him express himself like he did at the dinner that day but I began to catch on how he felt after a while, the more I talked about Tobias and my family, the more he told me about himself and how he dealt with everything. Whenever we chatted, he would always tell me he had faith in me from the start, he saw something in me I couldn’t see.

One day, he invited me to go to the beach with him and Theo, at that point I was almost done with the rehab program and I felt much more like myself, partially because he was so good at reminding me my efforts made me deserve being forgiven. When I arrived at the beach that day, I was barely out of the car when a familiar figure jumped towards me.

Thud

“Ouch! Who the f-…” Jonathan had fallen down on the sand as a familiar stripped tiger had pounced at him, he was surprisingly strong for his size. “Mr.Jonathan it’s been a long time!” Theodore said as he held the leopard in a strong hug before he got up. Not sure how to react, he blushed as he noticed how happy the feline was.

“You certainly are energetic like the first time Theo.” He pat him on the head as Disco approached the two. Jonathan had never seen him without his scarf and suit but he was impressed. He already knew the liger worked out but his body looked finely polished with muscles even he was jealous of, Disco smiled at the two of them as he picked up the tiger and freed Jonathan from his grasp. “Theodore, what did I tell you about doing that?”

“Don’t worry I didn’t hurt him father, I just missed talking with Mr.Jonathan, he looks much happier than before!” The young feline looked over Disco’s shoulder. “The beach is rather crowded today but we got a nice spot before you arrived.”

“Oh I hadn’t even thought of that, I have some snacks for us to share if want.” He shook a cooler that had Theo beaming with joy as his father chuckled. “So how long have you two been here?”

“We’ve been here for an hour, Theodore wanted to wait for you before going into the water so I’ve just been sunbathing until now.” He let go of the tiger as he ran to a beach towel with a few sandcastles near it. “I’m really happy you came, I admit I’d have missed talking with you here, most of my friends are rather busy during this time of the year.”

“Of course! I know how to get the mood up.” Jonathan confidently said as he took out his shirt and trunks until only his red Speedo was left. This was a big leap from the nervous and unconfident leopard that first met the liger but Disco knew very well that this was the true nature of his friend. “So see anything you like while here? Any…beauties of the beach~?”

“Hmm not really, I’ve just been watching Theo while having some soda, I guess there were a few cars I saw that were beautiful.” He wasn’t quite sure if the liger was joking or simply missed what he had meant with the question but he had a sly smirk as he pulled Disco’s head down to whisper to him.

“No! You…pfft that’s not what I meant, I meant see anything you like~. “Jonathan’s smirk combined with his voice made it clear what he was talking about...making Disco react with the most stone-cold face he had ever seen.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend? Wasn’t I telling you to stop doing that otherwise she might get mad?” He questioned while Jonathan held his hands up.

“Hey I still love her but you can’t blame me for looking, you know I’m not doing more than that.” He gave a playful punch on the liger’s shoulder only to be rewarded with a strong pat on his back.

“I guess you’re right, I’m just glad to see you normal, any progress on gathering the courage to everyone?” Ah yes…with his treatment ending, he had begun to plan on how to apologize to his family but also he needed to talk to his mother before it was too late. This trip was to help him relax before he attempted anything, but with how anxious he was, he hardly made any progress.

“I know I don’t have time to spare but, I’m not ready yet, I think I’ll only be ready to talk with Toby after I talk with my mother.” He saw Disco show a faint smile.

“What?”

“You were so stubborn about apologizing, it took me an entire week to get through that thick skull of yours that they will forgive you, but I understand, you are doing your best and that’s what matters.” He copied Jonathan’s wide smile and thumbs up as the two arrived at the beach towel. Theodore finished writing something on the sand castles as they got there. Jonathan looked over to see their names written on them.

“There, you’re both kings of this and I’m a prince!” He triumphantly stood up as he pointed the stick towards his father. “My first decree is that we must eat one of king Jonathan’s tasty snacks.”

“I told you not to eat so much or you’ll get sick while in the water Theo...” Disco crouched down…and then squished the tiger’s face with his hands, ruffling his fur as he caressed him. “But I guess it's fine, just please don’t throw up when you fly into the water.”

“Fly into the water? What do you mean by that?”

“Oh it’s nothing, Theodore likes to be held up and thrown when we’re in the water, he says it’s like when he jumps from the high trampoline, we do it all the time at the pool and it’s rather fun.” He looked at Jonathan.

“Hey, why don’t you try doing that? Maybe you’ll learn how to do it for future use.” Under normal circumstances, he would be totally against the idea but seeing the young feline’s expression made him give in and run towards the sea. “Then you’ll have to catch me first before your decree can be official!”

“Hey come back here!” Theodore chased after Jonathan as soon as he left, when the two reached the sea, Disco watched from afar before his phone vibrated with a message, the contents making the liger show a rare moment of weakness and worry.

In no time, the tiger reached and pounced on Jonathan knocking him into the water as he tried to shake him off. “Argh, no need to cling to me so hard!” He said as Theo squeezed him tight, too tight actually, he felt as if he was going crack something inside him if he had kept up. “Sorry! I’m just very happy, father likes spending time with you.”

He had never thought about that but now that he pointed it out, he never understood why Disco had stuck with him, he was very understanding towards everything but the why was always on his mind, he really hoped it wasn’t because the liger actually…

“Why do you think he likes spending time with me? He is just…so hard to understand” He said quietly, half expecting the tiger not to hear him. After a minute, Jonathan turned around, then he saw, the uncannily serious look on the young feline’s face, the same one Disco wore most of the time but at the same time, it was also the never wavering smile the tiger held.

“Because Mr. Jonathan…father sees the honesty within you.” He answered.”You might think it’s odd but…father is in a lot of pain sometimes, me and him…we’re so similar despite what others think. We’re always thinking about our feelings and the feelings of others because both of us always feel things so strongly it might hurt, the difference is that I prefer just sending all those feelings out but father…I know he feels a lot more.” Jonathan listened in awe at what he was being told, so that day when Disco cried at the dinner…”Me and my father, we have a strong sense of empathy, so we always strive to help those in need, I think that day when father saw your pain even if you didn’t show much of it, he wanted to help you feel joy again.” He gave a small laugh.”That’s all I can really say, like you said, father is a lot harder to read but you should know no matter what, he is the type of man to extend a hand…geez I spoke too much right?”

Now that the tiger pointed out, he really looked back, to remember what little he could gather on how the liger spoke, even now after having spent so much time together, he was still a mystery but…”Nah, you’re fine.” He put a hand on Theo’s head and pat him.”I think you two are great the way you are, now I can really say I appreciate you two.”

“Having fun I see.” Disco’s voice came from behind as he reached for Theo and lifted him. “What were you two talking about?”

“Nothing much, he was just sharing a little of his thoughts.” The tiger then had a look of excitement, he gave his father a tap on the shoulder and Disco held him higher and threw him with Theo managing to make a dive as he reached the water.

“Wow, that was really nic-“ That’s when Jonathan saw the liger grin a little and approach him, the intent clear that he wanted to do the same to the leopard…who took off running. Theodore laughed as he watched the two, he was a little shaken by Jonathan’s words and how he had answered his questions, unlike his father, he didn’t know how to read Jonathan quite as well but at least he knew the man’s willingness to forgive himself had increased.

But dwelling on that wasn’t a good idea.

He wanted to trust Jonathan…no, he already trusted him, it just pained the tiger to see the inner struggle he faced. Now that his treatment was almost over, he hoped his family would accept him back. Maybe his father was right, there were things he wasn’t quite as ready to understand, and trying to see further into this was gonna do no good to him. “Theodore look out!”

As soon as the tiger heard Jonathan’s voice, the leopard ended up bumping into him making the two fall. “Uh oh.” They said in unison as a large shadow loomed over the two before they were lifted. “My...now let us see how high you two will go.” Jonathan screamed as Theodore laughed as they flew a few feet away from the liger’s throw.

That day went on mostly without issue, though part of Jonathan wanted to ask more questions, but he managed to hold back, he needed to focus on finishing what he started before tackling new issues. At the same time, Disco noticed a clear look of worry on his son’s face and by the time the two were getting ready to leave, he decided to speak up.

“I’ll be heading to my car now, I’ll see you two around?”

“Of course Jonathan, the day you get out we have an agreement after all.” The liger answered.

“Yeah…thanks again for the day, it still scares me a little you managed to lift the two of us.” The leopard gave a small laugh at that before he gave the two one last smile and left.

Theodore hummed as he waved goodbye before Disco put a hand on his shoulder. “Theo…did something happen between you and Jonathan when you talked?”

“Ah.” He laughed.” Of course, you’d notice that.” He nervously tapped at the sand with his feet as he tried to come up with an answer.

“He asked why we liked him and I…just told him about what we have to deal with…I just wanted to be honest and tell him why I enjoy the time we spend with him.” Disco shot him a look that Theo was very familiar with, it was the look his father gave him when he was thinking too deeply about something.

“Theodore, you are a kind soul but you always think the blame is only on yourself, I’m sure Jonathan already knows the two of us care for him, but the mistakes he made in the past prevent him from fully acknowledging that for a long time he thought all those around him were to blame and he was on the right, now that he recognizes he made mistakes, he needs to be able to fully forgive himself before he can embrace anyone’s affection.” He looked at his son with a tender gaze.”I know I drop a lot on you sometimes…”

“You’re giving me too little credit father, it’s true I don’t understand all, but I’ve always been different, these complicated things, I can understand them a good bit as well. So don’t go thinking you’re alone with helping Jonathan.” Standing at the tip of his toes, Theodore hugged his father tightly. “You are a good father, don’t doubt that please.”

“Hmm.” Disco stayed silent, finishing packing as he looked at Theodore. “I suppose you’re right, I’ll be sure to think more highly of you.”

“Thank you, I’m happy today we all managed to have a good time, you and Jonathan were pretty nice to each other~” He said in a sly tone that made Disco grunt.

“I see no matter how mature you are for your age, you still have that childish sense of humor.” Theodore then ran further toward their car.

“You can’t blame me for wanting my father to have someone in their life!” The young tiger ran further as Disco thought about those words.

‘He might have said I should give him more credit, but I guess when it comes to this, he is still a bit too young to understand…but he is right, I need to be more vocal with what I tell him.’ Disco thought to himself as he went to the car, once the two were inside Disco took a deep breath. “Theodore.”

“Y-Yes?” He answered, rather startled at the sudden shift in his father’s voice…he was very serious now.

“Jonathan’s rehabilitation is ending soon, would you mind if I invited him over to have dinner with us before he has his big talk?.”

“wait father, you mean he is going to try and talk to his family?...will he be alright?”

“I don’t know.” Theo started at him.”I’m not good at trying to understand people I haven’t met before, but from what he told me, his family is very loving.” He looked at Theodore with a smile.”But before he meets them, I’d like you to help with something, I’ll be getting the red yarn for it soon.”

Red yarn? That could only mean one thing if his father was saying it…and it made Theodore very happy knowing what his father was planning.

And then on the last day

When I was about to be released

I came so close to breaking

And it happened right when I was at the end.

Not far from the clinic where he was getting treatment, Jonathan walked slowly through the park, it vaguely reminded him of the day he had met Disco. That liger… really had turned his world upside down while he was recovering, having such an unusual person just come and shake his life like that had made him see things in many different ways.

And speaking of the liger, just as he was close to the clinic for one of his last checkups before being released, he saw the man sitting on a bench with something red on his hand. As Jonathan approached, he saw Disco was knitting something…a red scarf.

“A bit odd to be out here knitting isn’t it?”Jonathan spoke as he sat down.

“Hah…isn’t this a first? Generally, I’m the one approaching to talk.” He chuckled. “I was hoping to see you either before or after your checkup, that’s why I’m here, I have something for you.”

He looked down at the feline’s hands, the red scarf was almost finished. “You mean this scarf that looks like yours? Now that I think about it, you and Theodore always wore red scarves, why is that?”

Disco took a deep breath as he continued to knit instead of answering, he was almost done but right at the end, he pulled a small piece of his own scarf and added it to the one he was making. “It’s a family tradition, would you like to hear about it?”

“Family tradition huh? That’s something I’m very familiar with...sure, I’m curious.”

“Well my family, including me, we’re not particularly religious or spiritual about things but there is one belief we have.” From the yarn he was using, he pulled a single red thread. “The red thread of fate is that something, but not that we’re tied by it when we’re born. Rather we believe each of us has threads of our own and that we can offer them to others. It’s a tradition in the family that we each make a scarf and share threads of it with those we want to always be connected, just like I’m doing with you.”

So that’s why they always wore those scarves.

“My scarf has threads from my father’s, my grandfathers, my grandmothers and Theodore's, his is the same. That way even if some have passed away, they are still here, it’s a way to feel connected to others…which now I ask you.” This was the first time he had seen Disco hesitate in any way, given what Theodore told him, he couldn’t begin to imagine what was going into his head, Jonathan himself was a mess at that moment from all he heard. “It may seem odd to make you a scarf, you’re not part of my family, but the few friends I have so far were accepting of this…so will you-“

“Well if it isn’t someone I haven’t seen a long time, Jonathan wasn’t it?” A voice interrupted the two and to the leopard’s horror, he recognized the person. It had been a few years but the horse was still the same, a sharp look that looked down on others a grin like he always knew the best. He was ready to leave but part of him froze and didn’t want to leave, deep down he knew if he stayed he would hurt but he felt…different now as well.

“You look well, as well as someone with a fag brother would anyway.” He hadn’t changed one, why did such a painful reminder have to come up now?

“Excuse me, but I believe neither of us has any business with you.” Disco spoke calmly as he put the scarf back in his bag.

“Oh what’s this? You really caught your brother’s sickness, didn’t you? Here I thought we could go for a few drinks and become friends, I kind of felt bad for you after everyone left but in the end, we were right from the looks of it.” He felt scared, even more so as he looked to his side and saw Disco get up, he was sure the liger wouldn’t beat the man but he was still going out of his way to defend Jonathan…was he really that pitiful even now?

No.

Before both of them could react, Jonathan got up, not in a fighting stance but just glared daggers at the horse. “I’ll humor you and answer, I’m not gay but what if I was, so what? I couldn’t care less about what a chump like you says, at least gay people get more action than you ever will.” He couldn’t see his own face but he felt confident he had managed to pass the message of what would happen if the horse tried badmouthing the two of them. The horse looked scared but also very annoyed, he gave a look at Jonathan and Disco before leaving. The leopard let out a big sigh, “That felt great.”

“You looked like what you described your brother was like, with a serious glare that sometimes scares others, it was quite the surprise.” The liger still looked a bit nervous, it was clear why, but Jonathan surprised him a second time that day by pulling the scarf from Disco’s bag. He looked at him in the eyes as he answered the question the liger was going to ask him before.

“We’ve only known each other for a while but…I really appreciate what you and Theo have done for me, it felt so comforting having someone care and speak to me the way you did and I wish I could say I see you as family but I can’t…not yet at least.” After saying that, he put on the scarf messily.” I still need to work things out with my family, so I can’t see you as family yet…but someday I promise I will, for now I’ll accept this and when the day comes that I feel I can see you the same way you see me, you can take a piece of the scarf for yourself, is that ok?” He mustered up all the words he could to explain himself…and he was met by a familiar sight after he said everything.

That same small smile he always gave.

Disco then laughed a little as he looked at Jonathan. “You sure are lively today, we should head to the clinic before that mood goes away.”

“…Yeah, I’m excited to share the news with my mother later.”

The day turned out to not be as eventful after that. When Jonathan had finished all the checkups and paperwork, Disco had to leave to spend time with his son but also some business with his father, he was fine with that. It gave Jonathan some time to finally reflect, up until now he had been focused on finishing his treatment and gave only some thought on his family, having the day for himself gave him the much-needed time to think through everything.

That day, I truly felt like myself from all the way back then

Not all my doubts had been washed way

But it really felt like…

Like I could finally talk to her

So I did.

“Are you absolutely sure about this?” Disco asked on the phone while Jonathan leaned against his car, sipping on soda and looking at the sky. The leopard had gathered all he had felt these years and thought it through and now he felt ready…with some help. His new friend who had constantly puzzled him was the one who had assured him things would work out. So he stood there, with no complicated feelings or thoughts, leaning against the car and getting ready to leave behind those burdens.

“Yeah…don’t get me wrong but I needed to do this alone, I didn’t want to call anyone else before coming here but I felt comfortable calling you.” He got up and started walking towards the hospital. “…I still don’t know if I can do this.”

“You’ll never know until you try or would you like to say I have absolute faith in you?” Disco jokingly let out, it was faint but he could feel the liger sending his confidence through those words. He still felt so weak for having to rely on others but now that was exactly what he needed.

To rely on his friend and his mother’s words.

Asking for his mother’s room number and permission was easy but each step he took only felt heavier, ending his call at the reception had only made that worse, and now that he was in front of the room, he almost couldn’t do it. Then he felt it, a stinging pain on his cheek, nothing had hit him except for memories of the past, he remembered his mother slapping him on the face but also his beloved brother who had punched him countless times in that same spot. That pain…

“…” His mother looked peaceful while gazing out the window, she always was a gentle one. He didn’t knock but simply entered and tried his best to let the words come out, but they wouldn’t. “Jonathan…” Until she uttered his name.

“Mother I…”No! He couldn’t let his words run away, not now. ”I’m sorry.” He let out. She didn’t say anything for a few moments, he knew she could be judging him or perhaps trying to find the right words but instead, her hand pat him softly on his head.

“Ever since you were a kid, I could tell when you were lying or hiding something, so I know you’re speaking from your heart now.” Gently caressing him, she continued. “A part of me wishes I could have more time to tell you all I feel but now I want to listen to you, Jonathan.”

He hadn’t even registered he was shedding tears, they just had come and kept coming but did little to stop him. ”All this time, I have been a fool and an idiot, I couldn’t even find my own answers or talk to any of you but I want to reassure you that the thing you cared about the most never changed, I just think I lost my way of expressing it.”

“We all lose something in life dear, even our path.” She sounded so weak, yet so strong when saying it, urging him to look at her in the eyes. “Jonathan, why do you think me and your father love you?”

“Huh?” What was that question? He had planned to spill all he could with his words but that question surprised him. “Because we’re family.”

“That’s only half true dear.” She smiled. ”Sometimes saying you have to love someone because they are family is wrong, but in our family, our connection by blood only helps strengthen it, it was never the reason, me and your father always loved you and had faith in you, simply because we love you deeply.”

He was speechless, he didn’t feel like he understood it but at the same time, he did. “So would you believe me if I said I never stopped caring about Toby?”

“Of course, but I could only tell now after seeing my son be himself, that you still have what it takes to fix things.” Bringing his hand up to meet hers, Jonathan wanted to scream that it was impossible, but feeling the warmth of his mother’s hand made him think otherwise. “It saddens me to say this but I won’t be around to see you two makeup, that’s why right now, you should tell me everything you need Jonathan.”

And so he did, the words finally came out, and he started talking and listening to his mother after so many years. Letting out words that held melancholy, sadness, and all his bottled-up feelings. It felt so easy to speak up at that moment that he even questioned what held him back for so long. He wanted so much more at that moment, he wanted to hug his brothers and father but that was something he didn’t have the right to ask just yet. He had spent so long talking he almost forgot he had to leave before the others showed up.

Just when he had made his way to the parking lot, he could see them in the distance, his family walking inside the hospital, he almost gave in but something stopped him…or rather someone.

“You did it.” A familiar voice rang behind him, the deep voice that always shook him was much closer than he thought. Turning around to see his friend there approaching him. “Aren’t you going to join them?”

“No, I don’t think now is when I should do that…more importantly, what are you doing here?”

“Believe it or not, there is something I must do at the hospital today, so I can’t talk with you for long Jonathan but when I saw your car, I wanted to wait for you so I could deliver some words of my wisdom.” The liger cleared his throat and looked at Jonathan in the eyes. ”Don’t let it become a blight.”

“A blight? Let what become a blight?” He questioned.

“This moment, you might feel a lot of regret despite letting out all your feelings.” The large feline walked past him as he started to leave. “But don’t let it become a blight in your life, don’t let regret bring you down again.”

This guy…he was always nosy with his words. “How do you always manage to see through me like that?”

“Haven’t you noticed yet? I thought I already told you, I like you in my own way and by now you should know I’m not the easiest to understand.” That was the moment he realized, the true weight of those words, that perhaps no matter how hard he tried, he could never quite understand this new friend who had supported him in his moment of need. Yet part of him felt like he didn’t need to.

After that

Loneliness was by my side every day

No matter what I did

It followed me almost every step

Almost.

Months after her death, Jonathan had recovered as much as he could, he held on strong and didn’t drink a single drop of alcohol. Keeping hold of his clarity of mind and continued to work on himself despite his grief. He hadn’t heard much from Disco, only a few text messages but he understood his friend was giving him space…until a letter came.

It was unusual to send letters nowadays but it felt perfectly in line with how the liger was. He was asking the leopard to come tomorrow for a day in the pool, just him, Theodore, and Jonathan for some time to relax. He couldn’t have picked a better time to have that happen. Early that morning, he prepared himself to leave but not before looking at a card on his nightstand, a flower shop card that made him make a particularly impulsive decision that day.

When the doorbell rang, the liger had just started setting up the grill to start their cookout by the pool, he was quick to ask his son to take care of it while he greeted their guest and much to his surprise Jonathan held a flower bouquet in his hand. But before he could jump to any assumptions, Jonathan spoke up.

“Before you get the wrong idea, I didn’t get these for you, I have something I’d like to ask you.” Disco nodded and let the leopard inside as the two sat in the living room.

“How are you feeling?” Jonathan let out a deep sigh as he spoke.

“I wouldn’t say I’m good but I finally got a hold of myself, at least a bit, that’s why I bought the flowers, I wanted to ask you to come with me to visit her.” He spoke with a solemn look in his eyes, a far cry from the unstable man he had met that day at the clinic. “After lunch, if you have time, I want you to be there.”

“Are you really sure? Isn’t that something you want to save for someone more important?” It was almost like he had offended the man with his answers.

“Yeah, that’s why I wanted you to be there, so many of my problems happened because I desperately wanted to be friends with the wrong people but you…you were the one person, I think I can say understand what it meant to a friend that loves others.” And there was no reaction this time, not one of amusement or one of sadness, for all the times he had spent with him, the liger was still tough to read. His large hand reached towards him to pat his shoulder.

“I would be happy to accompany you.” From outside, the two could hear Theodore calling out after the grill had heated up enough. Disco left to help while Jonathan sat there still thinking. He was…happy, not enough to say he felt satisfied but deep down he felt happiness again, the type of happiness he used to share with his brother.

‘Tobias…’ Jonathan thought back to when he and his brother were little when the two could talk to each other and confide secrets or otherwise things only brothers would share. He wondered how long it would take for the two of them to talk again but most importantly, what kind of happiness the two could share once he made an attempt at talking again. He then thought about the words hi friend said that day after the hospital ‘Don’t let regret bring you down again’ Maybe there was more to those words than he originally thought, not just the regret he might feel about that day but also any that would come after.

His thoughts soon were interrupted by a soft nose boop a certain tiger did. “Mr.Jonathan you had the same look you had when we first met, you were spacing out again, are you ok? We have some tasty meat to help keep your mind off.”

“…Hehe I’m more than ok today, let's get the food ready.” The moment he had gotten up to follow Theodore, he felt much lighter, so much so he could almost forget the burdens he had placed on others but that would be for another time.

All things considered, the day was mostly uneventful, well-cooked meat, and getting to see Theodore and Disco again was nice, he had opted out of swimming that day but seeing his friend have a good time with his kid was a decent experience. Out of the corner of his eye, he could also see in their backyard two red scarves, he reminisced about the tradition Disco had spoken about once, he was familiar with how family traditions were but something about this one had him thinking again and a bright idea was born.

“Hey Disco, when you’re out of there, think you could help me with something?”

It was the first time in a while

That I had an idea whose focus was only for Toby.

The ride was silent for the most part, after eating there was no time to beat around the bush with what Jonathan wanted to do. He was only slightly worried when he realized Disco could not let Theodore home alone but was relieved when his friend said his grandfathers could take care of him that day, he knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to bring the tiger with them. He held a single flower in his hand separated from the bouquet, a red yarn tied around the stalk.

“That day when you gave me that scarf, I was really confused as to what think you know, for a second I thought you might have feelings for me.” Disco shook his head hearing that. “It gave me the inspiration to do this though.”

“I admit you have good looks but I wouldn’t dare think that way about you, I just see you as a buddy.” He said just as they had reached the cemetery. “I think of you as a dear friend.”

“Me too, I also think you were someone I could actually call a friend.” Getting out of Jonathan’s car, the two took in the silent place they were in, not even inside it the mood was heavy, this was the resting place of many after all. With a flower bouquet in hand, the two men made their way inside the cemetery. “At a moment like this, I think about how my brother is, I remember he didn’t take it very well when our grandma passed away.”

Disco’s ears perked up as Jonathan said that but he didn’t say anything, instead looking in the distance at the parking lot and seeing a car stopping there. “Maybe you’ll have the chance to talk to him soon, you’ve done so much maybe you’ll be blessed by a chance encounter.”

“Right, as if my brother and I would visit on the same day.” If only he knew the Liger could see that it was exactly what was happening, once they had reached Valorie’s grave, Disco sneakily started stepping back until he could hide himself behind a tree. Watching as Jonathan looked around to try and find him…then froze as he looked in one direction.

Looking in the same direction, Disco could see another leopard a bit bigger and buffer than Jonathan, the two stared at each other before the bigger leopard approached Jonathan. The two had begun to talk but he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, he considered leaving the two be but he saw something unexpected, taking one of the flowers from the other leopard’s bouquet, he tied it to his own using the red yarn and left the two flowers at the grave.

That distracted Disco enough for Jonathan to notice him again and call him out. “there you are, what's the big idea disappearing like that?!”

“I noticed someone had arrived near the time we did and I could see him approaching.” Disco pointed to the other leopard. “So I took a guess he was someone from your family.”

“You saw Toby and didn’t even tell me, you little!” Jonathan said in a more joking tone as Tobias took a look over at the liger, a bit surprised to see him.

“I’m surprised you asked someone to come here with you John.” Jonathan scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

“He is someone who helped me out when I really needed it and was the one to give me the idea to tie our flowers like that.” Jonathan looked happier than he ever had before, it was quite funny to see his brother and his close friend stare at each other in silence. “Toby wanted me to invite me over to his house but I have to drive you home.”

“No you’re not doing that, I can take a taxi if necessary.” Disco said defiantly. “I’m afraid I’ll bless you with some time with your brother.”

“What? You can’t just say that! I’m-I’m not ready yet.” Before Tobias could intervene, Disco pulled Jonathan close and whispered something to him.

“That’s only true as long as you believe in it, you came up the idea of tying the flowers on a whim, why not take another risk today.” Jonathan gave a small blush, never before had he expected the liger to pull him in like that to make such a suggestion. To the point he got weak in the knees and Tobias went to support him as he tripped.

“Woah what did you say to him?” Tobias asked, his voice carrying his worry as if he thought Jonathan had been hurt but the leopard quickly calmed Tobias down. Disco turned to leave the two but not before Jonathan spoke up.

“Why do you always have to catch me off guard like that.” The liger stopped in his tracks and turned his head just enough so his eye was showing to Jonathan.

“You’re still asking that and I gave you the answer today, it's because I like you just as you said you liked me.” He then continued walking, leaving the two brothers alone, Tobias even more confused than before.

“…you got a boyfriend?” Jonathan shook his head fervently.

“Wha-? Of course not! He is just messing around but…” He recalled those words, ‘Because I like you just as you like me’. “But I can tell you that someone liking you like a friend or family was what I needed to heal and so Jonathan let out a faint smile.

END