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The Past Can Relight The Spark

By: A.X. Bueno

“What am I even doing here?” That is all a certain red fox can think as he sits down on a black and gray cushioned chair in front of a desk many, many miles away from home. He is on a terraformed Mars, staying in one of the cheaper OxidiousSky hotels here. It is far in the future from the time period we’re in now and yet art block is eternal as Jack is well aware of as he sits in front of what was supposed to be a makeshift desk with a few high end computers. The screens are in front of him so he would be able to do some work in between him trying to recenter himself and his life but they’re on the start screen with the hotels logo and various random apps as he can’t bring himself to open the right apps so he can start making new music. He knows he should be making another song but also can’t see why he should even bother, maybe this is more than just art block. Jack thinks while leaning back in the comfy hotel chair, it feels so pointless, redundant even like what can he make that’ll really matter?

The fox ponders this further, art shouldn’t feel pointless or redundant to make especially when you’re doing it yourself and yet he’s running a hand through the black hair over his otherwise red headfur as he questions why he bothers to do what he does. He feels like his output music wise isn’t as fast or as good as it used to be and when he compares that to friends and other artists who are able to pump out that good stuff consistently and barely ever lose that focus, that drive, it makes him feel unneeded like a lost voice in a massive crowd. He remembers his parents and classmates back when he was a young kit telling him that the path he was choosing for himself would be a struggle, that unless you get really lucky you won’t accomplish anything and end up either broke or back home within a few months of trying to chase a dream like that. That the music world was harsh, cut throat and would “eat someone soft like him alive” or that it’d make him miserable and maybe lead to an early grave and a lonely life.

He thinks back to all the things he got told to try to discourage him from pursuing his goals, to get him to choose “a less risky and more easy” path and just put down his life choices, especially the choices that involved him and music. Jack managed to brush off all the doubt before, the questions of if he should have just listened and if all of this is really worth it but now he can feel himself failing to squash that doubt as he has a whole plethora of tools on his screen and yet can’t bring himself to start using them. The computer has the option of mouse and keyboard or touchscreen, he prefers to use the universal keyboard that he keeps on him(it can shrink and expand) though is fine using the hotel’s mouse or rather would be if he could actually get back to creating a new song, he was supposed to be further along than this. The red fox waits another few minutes for some kind of creative surge, any ideas on what to do next or even some motivation to push him into action on this cozy blue cushioned computer chair but nothing comes, there’s nothing to spark any sort of drive in him. He needs to do something though other than sit here and let his light brown eyes stare at a boring start screen filled with logos taunting him with things he could be doing if he could only muster up the motivation to get something started.

With that the fox decides what he could use is seeing a familiar face, someone to talk to and maybe bounce some ideas off of. He grabs his black face mask and his white hoodie that accommodates his big black furred ears by slipping over them, puts on his black pants and equally black sneakers. Then brushes himself off real quick including his bushy red and white tipped tail before heading out the hotel room door. Mars was terraformed ages ago so Jack is able to go outside without issue. Outside there’s still the expected red sand of Mars but also trees, shrubs and flowers, an ornamental fountain in the middle of where the hotel’s entrance is from the outside and more things that show signs that life is thriving out here. Jack has a place he wants to go to as soon as possible though and doesn’t have too much time to admire the scenery of Mars.

Instead he keeps walking till he reaches where he was headed, a Chronal Displacer which is just a more clinical way to say time machine. For this is the future and time travel was a fairly standard thing at this point and Jack needed to reach out to the past to grab the person he wanted to talk to. The machine itself despite the fancy name isn’t much more than a medium sized, ornate platform filled with wires and components along with a high tech control panel next to that with a touchscreen to set everything up and then three buttons; a light gray off button, a shiny gold on button and a big red emergency shutdown button. Jack punches the proper time period and settings on the touchscreen and then presses the gold button, hard, sometimes the displacer didn’t turn on unless it was pressed like that. The Chronal Displacer jolts to life as sparks fly, energy coalesces and light focuses until someone, a polar bear, starts to materialize.

The polar bear is big naturally, though magically spotted with those signature light blue spots covering his body. His body is itself covered by a bright blue shirt almost the same color as his spots, a suave black denim jacket over that, dark blue denim jeans and a set of spiked cuffs on both his wrists. He’s got black headfur like Jack but it’s in a more loose, poofed up style as opposed to the fox’s locs. The bear’s green eyes look around in confusion as he tries to make sense of his surroundings until his eyes take notice of Jack and widen with recognition within the dark blue ocean of his sclera as a smile forms on his lips.

“Jack! I wish you’d give some kind of warning before you pluck me from my nightly walk. What’s up?”

“Hey Theo. Sorry ‘bout that but I’m gonna jump straight to the point, I just want someone to talk to. I’ve been feeling kind of… stuck lately. Drink?” Jack manages to pull out two White Claws from the ether offering one to the polar bear. Theo grabs it and takes a sip, happy to have a drink.

“Sure, pa. Thanks for the drink but why go for me? What’s got you stuck? Do you need someone strong for some job or someone with magical knowledge?” Theo wiggles his fingers and creates a small breeze with snowflakes running through it.

“Nah, I don’t need anything too serious. What I’m hoping for is some insights from you on what keeps you going, talk a bit about life experiences and what keeps your creative spark burning, things like that. I figured some fresh perspective might help me sort things out with my own endeavors and my own life. Think you can help out your old grandad?” Jack says that last sentence in more of a jokey way compared to his slightly more serious tone before it.

“Dad, not grandad and sure. As soon as I sit down.”

“Just making sure you’re paying attention, son. I see it’s become easier for you to call me dad.”

Jack has a scheming look on his face while he says that with Theo giving a look of resigned acceptance as he exhales. Him and the bear do have a sort of familial connection that’s complicated and a story in its own right. Both being just a part of a complex and ever growing family tree that would take a long time to explain how a fox could be the “father” of a man turned polar bear along with several others but he is and Theo has accepted that by now. The fox even has grandkids technically despite that being the case typically for much older beastmen than himself and usually those kids and grandkids wouldn’t be from a completely different time period but that’s just Jack’s life for you. Back in the future the fox sucked Theo into, the polar bear takes a thankfully bear sized seat and a sip of his white claw as Jack also settles into his chair and sets his white claw on the floor.

“What can I say, you wore me down on it.” Theo takes another deep breath and another sip of White Claw to calm his nerves, he tends to get a little nervous when it comes to talking about himself and his life. He’s better when it comes to those he knows but the unease still comes sometimes especially if he’s expected to give deep info but he gets to answering the questions anyway.

“Well…I suppose what keeps me going is just a desire to keep learning, keep improving in more than one way. I discovered a whole new world of magic, of beastman, of sorcerers and heroes and so much more in quite a short burst of time whenever I take the moments to stop and think about it or explain it to someone else. That it all started through an almost impulsive purchase, some complicated feelings and the machinations of someone else that I’m still trying to untangle and figure out and hope to… someday. My life can get complicated, sometimes dangerous and occasionally painful but I persevere because I want to see more of the big, confusing world around me whether it’s the mystical or more mundane side of things and more importantly I want to live to have a better understanding of the crazy world around me.”

Theo finishes then makes a square shape with his claws which glow then form some small ice cubes which plop into the small opening of the White Claw can. Theo takes another sip of the now colder drink while Jack looks deep in thought with his head lowered before raising it back up and looking right towards Theo with a sly smile.

“Mmhmm. Keep going.” Jack says while holding out his own drink in front of the bear and shaking it to request some ice too which Theo makes with ease to slip past the gray top of the can.

“Ahh. Thank you.”

“No problem. What do you mean keep going? What more is there to say?”

“Come on. You talked about what keeps you going sure but not what keeps that creative spark burning or any life experiences. You’re holding out on me, son.” Jack says with a bit of a wry tone as he takes another sip of his black cherry flavored hard seltzer.

“There’s not much to really talk about. I don’t really do much creatively and I don’t want to bore or bring you down talking too much about my life. You could probably have a better chat with one of your friends who makes music or even another one of the family like Tommy or… Aaron who both do too just in different ways. Still don’t get why you chose to talk to me about all this like I could help more.

“Bear, I keep telling you you have got to have a little more confidence in yourself! I chose you because I felt like you’d best know my struggle here and that’s not only about the music. Besides you’ve got creative skills; you cook, you do magic, make potions and I heard from a little kitty you even started a blog.”

“You know about that? How much did Tommy tell you?!” Theo looks at Jack with equal parts annoyance and curiosity as his paws clutch the arms of his chair a little harder than before but the fox keeps his cool.

“Relax, relax. I’m only joking with that. I just happened to come across it one day, no one told me.”

“Oh! My bad then. I didn’t mean to shout, it’s just that the blog is still a work in progress and I don’t want too many people to know about it before I truly finish it.”

“It’s cool, I know how it is when you wanna keep something you’re working on a secret.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right in that I could give you a bit more to help out.” Theo gulps down some more Mango White Claw before continuing as the fox watches and waits to see what the bear says next.

“The life that’s made me what I am now, the polar bear in front of you… it wasn’t the absolute worst but it was far from easy. As a man I felt like the butt of a joke people rarely said to my face, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I wasn’t the best looking guy and some people thought I was strange and they either avoided me for that or laughed behind my back while pretending to be friendly. Then there was the draining dead end job I worked as a telephone interviewer, conducting over the phone surveys and occasionally getting the brunt of people’s frustrations for that. It was all kind of rough but I managed to survive and make some friends at least who could like me as I was then. Still something felt off, when I looked in the mirror or thought about my life late at night I felt that despite whatever praise or love I felt hollow, incomplete and like I could be more. Then change came about when I bought a mysterious potion from an even more mysterious and somewhat shady seller that I didn’t know the many names of back then, the Cunning Chimera.”

“I think I remember you telling me some of this story before, always nice to get a more thorough reminder. You know listening to those late night thoughts is a bad idea, right?” Jack says while Theo takes a small breather.

“Well I know that now and even then those thoughts can get… loud for me. I didn’t know it back when I made the decision to transform myself.”

“I see.” Jack says stoically as he finishes off his White Claw.

“But yeah I bought that potion and gave into those darker thoughts but even knowing what I do now and the whole new side of the world I came to learn about, would only make me want to drink the potion and become what I am all the sooner. It gave me a new job that I can be happy with, new confidence and comfort in being myself, a new sense of purpose and a better understanding of the world like I already said. However my life didn’t just become perfect and I still have challenges in it, some new and some old but it became better and I keep trying to improve it and learn from all my experiences both good and bad to do so. I suppose that’s what I try to get across through a lot of my creative works. A major reason why I create is because I used to feel alone and isolated in my experiences, beaten down by some of the rougher circumstances in my life but I’ve learned through my experiences that I’m not as alone in them as I believed and that I could overcome them to be better than I once imagined possible for myself. It might sound a little self important but I want to give hope to others and help at least one person feel a little less beaten and alone in their experiences and maybe even help them improve their lives a little whether that’s through my food, my blog or the potions I make. Of course there’s also the people I can get back indirectly through my words and new abilities but that’s more a bonus than a main reason.”

“See now? That wasn’t so hard, unlike me.” Jack says and then thumps his paw to his chest to aid the intention of the joke which actually surprises Theo, a rare thing to happen.

“Oh! I guess so… ha ha.”

“Caught you off guard there, didn’t I? I don’t know why you’re surprised I’m innocent though.” Jack bats his brown eyes as convincingly as he can and all Theo can do is roll his in response before asking an important question.

“I hope all that was hopeful. I can go back now, right? Since we’re done?”

“What’s your hurry? Why you trying so hard to escape your old man?”

“I’m not. Also I’m technically older than you.”

“Maybe but those beastman years really slow that aging down.”

“I guess so. It’s just a different way to age really, depending a lot on the person and species they are.”

“Uh-huh. Please, sit and stay a little while longer?”

“Alright.”

With that request Jack gets Theo to stay a while longer and the red fox and polar bear chat some more. They talk about the family, what even further in the future might hold and just life in general. They also have a few more drinks together, alternating between White Claws and hard lemonade to keep things interesting. Soon enough Theo is ready to go back as they both start to feel the effects of their drinking with multiple metal cans strewn about the floor of this Chronal Displacer room. However there is one more White Claw left, a Strawberry one and both of them are eyeing it with a serious thirst.

“I think I’m ready to go now. Gonna take that White Claw for the road. If that’s fine with you.”

“Sure. That’s fine… if you’re willing to FIGHT me for it.” Jack’s scheming look is back as he intercepts Theo’s paw reaching for the White Claw.

“Whuh-what??”

“You heard me” There’s a mischievous tone in Jack’s voice too.

“You know what? I think I’m good actually, it’s-it’s yours dude.” Theo says while quickly pulling his hand back in fear.

For the fox has a power that the bear doesn’t fully understand but knows better than to mess with. After all he’s been a match for the Bonebreaker before, on his own and that’s no easy feat considering Theo was a part of a team that struggled to keep up with the number 1 hero. This fear gets a laugh out of Jack. The big spotted bear actually respecting and fearing him and his power this way, knowing what the relatively smaller, firmly built fox is capable of, amuses him a lot as the two different beastmen get up and move towards the Chronal Displacer. Jack types in Theo’s time period(our present) and the approximate moment he was plucked from it as the bear steps up to the machine and prepares to be flung back through time again.

“Before ya leave, catch son!” Jack throws the White Claw towards Theo who catches and just barely avoids puncturing it with a black claw. He never intended to fight for or keep it, he just enjoyed messing with Theo for a moment and now that moment is gone so he gives the bear what he wanted.

“Appreciate it!” The polar bear just barely manages to say as Jack presses that shiny gold button and the energies begin to merge, the sparks start to appear and Theo begins to vanish on the platform being overwhelmed by light.

Before Jack can blink twice the drink holding ursine is gone and there’s no one left but the fox and his head full of thoughts. Now that he doesn’t have a reason to stick around in the Chronal Displacer room he walks out the door of it and heads back towards his own room. As he passes the fountain from before and reenters the OxidiousSky he thinks about Theo’s words. About the world and past he’s coming from, the loneliness, the life experiences that push him to be better and the past he improved from, all that and more. There’s a lot to work with there, more than the fox believed. Jack reflects on what he can pull from in his life, what rough circumstances did he escape and become better from and more importantly who is he trying to reach and help feel better about their struggles and lives.

As he opens the door to the room he originally left bored and in need of seeing a familiar face Jack now feels reinvigorated and like the purpose of his art has clicked back into place. He’s creating in spite of all the people who doubted him and doing it for those who believe in what he’s putting out there, for those who want music from someone they can relate to and to know that their dreams aren’t out of reach. He gets back in front of the screens as they’re turned back on and he gets to work. The past is behind him and he’s all going to turn all of that turmoil, all those fears of redundancy and worries about never making, all those words of naysayers into something worth listening to with all his creative fire.