Alexander's Accounts - Part 15
Follow Alexander as he navigates the flat and the end of the killing grant.
Part 15 of Alexander's Accounts, continuing from rejoining the boyfriend
“So… about the thing”, said Artemis. “I kind of… hired an external guy to take care of our humans”
“… you're… using our money to babysit the two”, i said.
“Yeah", he said. “Just think about it; they're in a place where they have no escape… who's there to help them if anything goes wrong? Not me.”
“Hmm… i want to talk to them”, i said.
And i left the bed, Artemis's warm embrace, the happiness i'd had there. I left to talk to those of my species.
And i went to Cubit. His face wasn't that which i had left. New lines, a new downwards pull on the corners of the lips. It was bad.
“And how was it, when we were away?”, i asked.
“well”, started Cubit. “You tell us what you did.”
“Well… we got stopped by the police, interviewed, just as we were going north”, i started.
“Fair”, said Cubit. “When you left us to guess if the voice at the door was really for our favor… spoiler - it was, a day after y'all left”
“Tell me about that.”
“Well, he came in, looked around, and pointed out the crap designed to kill us”, said Cubit. “This flat is, was a fucking booby trap. You're lucky.”
I stared blankly. “Artemis makes bad choices sometimes.”
“I can hear you!”, shouted Artemis. "Just let me sleep this off!
“You're not saying?!”, said Cubit with a dose of sarcasm, layered heavily.
“And then we got drunk and had a hangover the next day", i said to carry the conversation.
“Yeah, they got rid of the asbestos in the roof and turns out there was some old neurotoxin, lost its effect over time.”, said Cubit. “Slept well that night, kinda scary.”
Guilt was knocking at my consciousness's door. So you go have a big honeymoon with your werewolf boyfriend and abandon them here…?!
“Oh and also, did you know that the fridge was leaking some kind of carbon-monoxide CFC every time it opened?”, asked Cubit. “Poor ol' Biblia.”
“And er.. i forgot… we kind of fucked up the police interview and got a chequebook for anything against the south…?”, i added, to stop Cubit.
“What, so the police really gave you unlimited northern money?”, he asked.
“Yes.”, i said. “Artemis, where's the chequebook?”
“I left it in the hotel for you.”, he said.
“Oh and also, i was kidnapped”; i told Cubit. “Just after Artemis left.”
And with that second, i felt it bite at me… the guilt, the loss. I'd lost our most important things.
“Go mail the hotel and there's a 60% chance it'll deliver properly”, said Cubit. A straight face.
“And what is the 40%?", i asked.
Cubit shrugged. “It'll get ‘lost’ and the true vigilantes will get hold of it.”
“But the cheques only work with mail!”, hollered Artemis.
“But they're a credit card!”, i protested.
“So what? They'll get into ¤1000 of debt and it'll lock up, no big deal!”
“In your name!!”, i shouted.
“Fuck. My credit rating!”
Fuck, they have those here. Ugh.
Cubit chuckled. It was one of those deeper chuckles tainted with melachony. He'd probably been through hell, Artemis and i instead through a honeymoon.
“Maybe we shouldn't have left”, i said.
“You don't fucking say”, said Cubit.
Well, i do fucking say. That's my entire role here, to say and give us our anti-vigilante plan.
“Let's figure out the checkbook”, i said. “Well, i'm not allowed north anymore FYI, so we could send Artemis to get it, or send a message to the hotel”
“No more fucking cars”, bellowed Artemis from the other room.
“And no more leaving!”, added Biblia, stirring from her sleep.
The sun was beginning to stream through now. Turns out we'd woken up early, i having forgot morning usually passed us.
All too good, i realised as i heard what was happening outside. Boom noises. Active, loud, frequent.
A hunch struck. A plan formed. “Artemis, turn up the TV”, i said. “Something's happened.”
And i could hear through the open door. It was a spokesperson.
Killing bounties are ending in 30 minutes! Kill as many as you can for the 200% procount!
What the fuck is their dialect?! “procount”?! Damn them! Playing with language over the very real death of humans! And i thought. Artemis, we didn't need to cause a housing crisis, i imagined myself saying. Artemis, let's just go have fun outside after this.
And the newscaster continued. And with the destruction of humans comes purity and true werewolvianism to our _werewolf_ world.
If i could double-italicise, i would have. because she was intent that the world was for werewolves.
In the north, the world was for the edmiy, for want of a better term, the humanoids. Here, it was for the werewolves.
Only with you can we create a world where only the logical forwards progression from humans is the norm!
And that was the ending note.
“Fuck her!”, shouted Artemis.
“And i thought you were gay!”, joked Cubit.
“Not in that way!”
I was the one that chuckled. A little more light-hearted.
I set off to walk to the windows. “Bulletproof, right?”, i asked to confirm, pointing at them.
“Probably… a bullet got embedded when i got too close”, said Cubit. “Didn't break.”
I looked down onto the street, a street flooded in a new yellow a handful shade away from the sickly sulfur. The rising sun drew long shadows of the gang members. They'd decked out in bulletproof uniforms.
I knew it was stupid for my safety, but i kind of wanted to hookup with them, so presentable, so masculine. Well, until i saw the flash of their gun into someone's window.
Until i saw the new crimson liquid on the floor. It had rained yesterday night, leaving the floor wet-ish. I swore i could smell the wet tarmac and irony smell.
Wait, i didn't have synesthesia. “What happened to the vent system?”
“Neurotoxin”, said Cubit. “So we removed the ‘filters’”
Someone had an earpiece, probably bought from bounty money. And they pointed our direction. A rockety thing. I'd heard of it before.
“Close the vent!” i screamed. “Seal it and keep it sealed!”
Cubit, for his part, jamp up to action. Those down there also jamp to action. They were kneeling now, resting the launcher against the floor.
Cubit went to turn some dimmer knob, in a little control module in the wall, part of the customised security measures. I heard the squeaking little movement, increasing and collapsing in volume in a pulsing motion.
I also heard the rocket being launched. It was arriving at our flat. Too soon.
But the motion stopped. We'd been sealed in. We were safe.
"Fuck, it's jammed", said Cubit.
A pungent smell. Rotten eggs.
“Fuck, a prank bomb”, said Biblia. “The producers have been making more of them, probably a person at the factory realising something's seriously wrong”
“'prank' bomb”, reminded Cubit. “It's to take you out the flat.”
I could tell why. It was nigh on overwhelming. Artemis screamed. “My fucking nose!”
Werewolves did have more sensitive noses, after all, i realised.
“So i'm basically nose blind and they put the only chemical i'm sensitive to into the flat!”, he screamed.
Maybe not?
“Close the vent!”, i shouted. “Aren't there other shutters?”
“Oh, the manual vent!”, shouted Biblia. “Use the CY-7 lever and Deconfombublate the Sissy button, spelt C-CY!”
And Cubit looked confused. But the followed the steps.
And with a sudden slam, the vent shut.
“And the extractor! Turn FB-8 up to mark 23 and retroanterprocontrasubreturn the lexie button!”
And with a sudden rattle and vibration, a noise started, the smell faded.
“Should be extracting air from the back to make up for the lost, remember to switch the input switch to ‘roof’… no, rain damage, ‘restaurant’"
And i heard a few clicks. The stench of rotten fish entered the flat. “Roof!”, i screamed.
“Stop screaming”, said Cubit. And he clicked again.
It was getting better. But the smell yet still reached Artemis. “ARGH! Not the other one!”
It was nice, though, here, knowing that this flat was probably in equal parts trying to protect and kill us. It might just be the most human-friendly place in the entire south, especially after the pair's careful figuring-out of the flat.
And i sat there, watching the gang members helpless outside to the government's hand. I tried adding an omni- to it, one of the words used to describe god when i was younger, one of the first bits of Latin i learnt. A version of god that i was told hated those who were gay and even those who loved fantasy creatures. A version god purported to be good for society despite hating me.
Not omniscient, or it wouldn't act in any reasonable time with all the thinking, not omnipotent, as it was not as . But omnipresent? Could be, if given the time. And one of their hands were at our street, gearing up to carry out some moneymaking before it became obsolete.
And i thought to the restaurant downstairs, the one which caused Artemis this coughing fit he was still going through, and thought about the kitchen. And i realised something.
The gang had cleared out an important niche. The gang had destroyed the supply to an important market. And someone was going to pay for that. And someone was going to receive for that.
“Cubit, Biblia… did you realise that the human job workforce has been knocked out?”, i asked.
“Yes.”, said Cubit. “I do and i hate it.”
And Biblia sniggered. “Until you realise just how competitive they'll be for us.”
I smiled wryly. “I want the money”, i said.
“You have a fucking grant”, said Cubit. “Use that, stop abusing the economy.”
“But that's literally how everyone treats it”, said Biblia.
“Hey, maybe the government'll fight you and force you to work.”, said Artemis in a nasal tone. He was plugging his nose, maybe. “Welcome to life!”
“Look, the economy was made for being abused!”, i protested. “That's all it's become!”
“I hate society”, said Cubit. “Let's go live in a forest.”
A closer Artemis spoke. “Plenty of villages are like that, traditionalist… refine your multilingualism, though.”
“Really?!”, asked Cubit.
“Yep!”, he exclaimed. A bedtime loincloth was all he wore. Sexy, but wrong time. Didn't even know you'd wear them.
“You'll be learning all the languages when you go live with them :)”, said Artemis. “Northern Spanish is that insane. Stolen from all the dictionaries and mangled into some beautiful mixup.”
“Sounds like hell”, said Cubit. “And i'm suspecting Standard Spanish is also to be learnt?”
“Yep!", said Artemis. “Oh, i miss being a translator!”
“to be honest, i want to go back to the library”, said Biblia. “Much more fun there than cooped up here.”
“hmm”, alcknowledged Artemis. “Let's see if it's safe outside.”
The newscaster broadcast yet again. The killing bounty has now been revoked and killing humans will result in no bounty save for those employed by official southern organisations such as the police and pacifier teams. Killing humans is now illegal, i repeat, illegal, outside of qualified hands.
She repeated her message several times.
A sound rung out outside. An all-clear siren…? Why did we even have sirens?!
“Let's go visit the gang”, i said.
Cubit and Biblia noted. “Together? I want to go outside.”
“Yep”, i said, to the both of them.
“Dangerous”, said Artemis.
“But i want it so bad”, said Cubit. “I miss the outside.”
“Yeah", said Biblia. “Not fair, what you did up north!”
“Fine”, said Artemis.
And we left, through the door.
Everything outside of the door stank of the classic old danger the gang had leaked into the city. From the irony smell of blood to the various flat-style booby traps left in the walls. There'd be plenty of cleaning left to do.
The street stank of wet asphalt and blood. Gang members simply stared at us. They'd lost most of their motivation to kill, at least the good ones. The xenophobic ones were probably doing their last raids.
We walked across the city, a barren area. Were we the first humans here?
And we walked several streets away, into a new district, into a rich-building.
“We're there”, said Artemis. “Back where i was waiting all those years ago.”
And we opened the door, into the management room. An amnesty notice, anybody here wouldn't be killed before extensive interview, at the very least.
Dried blood, then, stained the floor where those who failed the interview were killed. I shuddered.
This wasn't a normal place. The clerk, staring at me, reminded me of that.
“and why do you come here?”, he asked. A stern expression with hateful eyes.
“I'd like to speak to your manager”, said Artemis.
“you fucking idiot”, said the clerk. "they're going through disdrawal”
“What?!”, screamed Cubit. “But he was sponsored by the government to kill!”
“no, it's the tax evasion”, said the clerk. “inescapable in good societies, taxes, you should know.”
Cubit sniggered. “Good societies, IE the ones that kill humans.”
The clerk paused for a second. “just let them be”, he said. “they'll come out in their own time.”
“This is lame”, said Cubit. “Don't want to wait.”
“But we must”, said Biblia.
Someone passed, two gang members. “Look, we're sorry, we didn't notice the time”, they explained to the clerk. “Lock the door!”
The clerk stared at them with a judgmental stare. “You shouldnt've. Anyways, for the amnesty agreement, you need to show ID.”
But we didn't…?
I heard the automatic doors closing and a little click of the latch. They rummaged around in their pockets. “Shit, i left mine outside.”
The clerk rolled his eyes. “Well, you can go out and break amnesty, or stay here and be kicked out later.”
“This is a joke”, said the gang member. “You can't just turn on us like you are right now.”
An even more disparaging eye roll. “No, i never turned on you, i'm just following what's written here.”
Seriously, with chewing gum, he'd complete the look. Something to look detached.
“And that goes to you”, he said, glaring at us. “Without ID, you'll be kicked out in… 28 minutes.”
“Suits us”, said Artemis.
And, so, we waited, out in the room. The atrium that stank of blood.
“So, when's the disdrawal going to end?”, asked Cubit. “I want to give him a piece of my opinion.”
The clerk remained silent, pointed at a clock. It was a big one, even if slightly hidden, the hands blending into the wood veneer. “Look at the red lights."
Different points on the clock had different lines of lights. A bunch of them… multicolour?
And we waited for the minute hand to land on the red. And we waited as it passed.
“When's he coming?”, asked Cubit. “My feet are getting cold!”
“Shouldn't be”, mused Artemis.
The clerk looked away from whatever he was doing behind the standing part of the desk. “He'll be here in a jiffy, official statement.”
And he turned back. So we waited. And the manager looked at us as doors opened.
But the manager reached us, and he turned to us, and they stared at us. A weird werewolf, so filled with not hatred but coldness, dressed in expensive clothes. Maybe a psychopath?
“Ah, it's you”, he said to Artemis. “Come for the end of us.”
And Artemis smiled at him. “Yeah, i completed your bargain, even brought you some human.”
Was he joking or not? Had i been tricked?
Stay tuned for part 16, in which the new demand could just replace the need for a subsidy or not
Some notes:
“Playing with language over the very real death of humans!” if we manipulate the quote a little and consider the fact that Artemis is best assumed to be fictional, we'll land on me venting opinion about a specific genre of game (to arrive at “playing with the very real death of [fictional] humans”). Usually the games i play are focused around sandboxes and constructive play (like Minetest, best played with bunch of mods, in which you can do a lot including programming embedded devices, which is fun, and openttd, best advanced played with JGRPP, in which you make railways). Oh and also the odd furry NSFW visual novel (i don't really have the time to be sexually teased like that i'd rather learn drawing so i can sexually tease others with my own novels turned visual (gone sexual NOT CLICKBAIT) and go read works that everyone knows the name of :p)
I was literally halfway through writing this at like 01:50 and i was brushing my teeth and i thought, like Alexander did, and realised that there was the perfect opportunity for new conflict!
And then i continued thinking and realised that damn, this could be the perfect context for Newbie's arrival; the government trying to replace the lost, having “learnt” its lesson (it still hates humans)
I've already said i'm more of a pantser than a plotter and this kind of proves that a whole bunch.