FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

An Atlantic Ocean. Eleven o'clock. While people all over the ship just gotten rise, I was slowly staring in the distance. The anticipating continent wasn't there yet, but perhaps, almost picture-esque landscape opened before me.

“I was in the middle of a blue world". I suddenly remembered this phrase form some kind of visual novel I read long ago, as the sight before my eyes was very similar to what the protagonist of this game was seeing at the moment: the sheet of water reached into the distance as far as the eye could see, and the summer sun shimmered on its surface. The clear blue sky stretched high above. It was so glossy and vivid that at the moment I thought that it might spill down to the earth at any moment. The straight line of the horizon stretched into the distance, dividing the sea from heavens.

“So peaceful… I guess the work of currier was worth to see such a sight at least once in a life"

The wind, full of the smell of the ocean, was blowing gently in my way.

At the background I could hear the din of people and the merry sound of children's voices that were echoed brighter than the sunlight pouring down.

• Um, excuse me, mister…

“speaking of children…"

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a humble childish voice. I turned around and saw a little boy standing in the front of me, and wearing a torn and durty…

“Wait, what the hell… am I starting to hallucinate already?"

By taking closer look I noticed that his torn clothes were actually a part of latest fashion.

“Well then, I'm not completely troubled yet… that's quite a relief".

• Oh, hi, little fella. Can I help you?

Despite I wasn't in mood, I tried to do my best to hide it.

• Can you… um… trade me some of your shinies?

“A shiny? Does he mean the special type of Pokémon? Oh, right"

I retreated into myself so deeply that almost forgot that the console was still in my hands. I tried to catch some of the water Pokémon using “virtual reality option" in a “free mode", but suddenly forgot about it.

• Uh-huh, sure things. You can even have all of them if you wish.

“Not like I'm gonna need them anymore anyway".

• R-really!? Thanks!!

The kid smiled so widely that for a moment I thought that he gonna transform into shiny himself in a couple of seconds.

He took his 3ds with a Pokémon “Sun and moon" and we started a Pokémon trade. The new release of Pokémon “summer and winter" on Nintedo NX haven't got a western release yet, so I was lucky (unlucky?) to get this copy earlier for cheap, thanks to my friend who always new hoe to order stuff from the net.

“Although it would be better for this game not to get a western release at all".

• My parents promised me that they will buy me new game system with new pokemons if I will study good next year! I can't wait when I will finally have one!

• Uh… I think that you don't have to push yourself for it and just stick with Pokémon “sun and moon" and with Pokémon Go, if you still playing it.

• What? But… why?

• Well, that because the new game is… sucks.

• Sucks?

“Oh my gosh, what am I doing? Teaching a child to a bad language"

• Sorry, I meant that… it isn't very good game. I mean in much worse than Pokémon “sun and moon".

• Oh…

The happy smile of his left his face as I said that.

“Well, I guess it better that way then if he will find out the true reason by completing this game himself".

• By the way, where are your parents?

Kid remained silent.

“I wonder if I just offended him?"

• Um… is something wrong?

• Oh… it's nothing. I'm just kinda tired of my strict folks.

• Strict?

• “John you must get good grades in school, and you must do your swimming lessons, and you must do this and that…" – they keep telling me. I just wanna be free. I wonder when I will become adult…

I was about to burst into laughs. Kid noticed this and for a moment became a little bit embarrassed.

• Sorry, have I just offended you? You probably didn't understand what a pain is it to be an adult.

• A pain? But why?

• Well… for example, right now I'm playing Pokémon's with you. Does it not bother you even in slightest that adult like me playing something that was meant to be for kids?

• But… Pokémon isn't a game for kids! I remember that at home I even watched with my mum a TV show how adults playing it in competition!

“Yeah, that was an awkward example".

• Well, the thing that I'm trying to say is that you don't have to bother about a lot of stuff when you are kid. In your place, I would just be playing games all day and don't care about anything.

The kid watched at me with the face expression like I was some kind of idiot, and then said:

• You are weird.

“You are the weirdo here!" – I wanted to say, but then realized that I might insult him that way, and just remained silent

“And what's the point anyway if he wouldn't understand me"

Suddenly, the boy looked at his watched and realized something.

• I want to speak with you more, but I will get scolded if I won't come to the lunch in time!

• Oh, okay.

• And… what's your name, mister?

• It's Leon.

• Okay, thanks! Let's meet again, Mr. Lion! And thanks for shinies!

• W-wait!

I wanted to say to him that he mispronounced my name, but unfortunately he left without even waiting for my answer.

“I wonder if he said it to make fun of me on purpose" – I thought at the moment, because I was so thin that the only thing that could come to mind by looking at me was a skeleton.

“Well, whatever, it isn't like I'm angry on him. So… what am wanted to do? Oh, yeah!" I have given to a “shiny boy" all of my shinies, so now the Pokémon's game cartridge won't have any value even if I will sell it to the ebay shelves, as by the time I will return home this game will probably see a western release, with 90 metacritic score by critics and around 30 or 20 by users.

“So, I guess there is only one thing left for me to do…"

I ejected the cartridge from a game system and made a wide swing toss it far away from me into the ocean, but…

“No… I have to know how this will end…"

….

….

After dinner I returned to the deck; only this time I took a sketchbook to try writing a picture of a seascape in front of me, which was a picture-esque yet again. Conversation with a kid did make me feel a little better, and as my mood improved, I felt a rush of inspiration. I have to say that this sight was really beautiful: multiple colorful rays were gathered around the setting sun, and the sun itself was gracefully reflected off the water surface.

During my creative process, suddenly I was greeted by an unfamiliar voice.

• Hey.

I saw a young man standing in the front of me.

• Mind if I join you?

• Why not?

• By the way, name's Cooper.

• And I'm Leon. Nice to meet you.

• Same here.

He set down next to me and started to fumble his bag for something. It turns out that “something" was his sketchbook in fact.

While he was taking it out of his bag, pages of it have turned over and I accidentally glanced at his sketches. Those were pictures of naked women.

• Excuse me, are you a portraitist?

• Oh! Did you like it?

He opened his sketchbook and showed his pictures to me.

…For some reason, more thoughtful browsing of his opuses made me feel somewhat uneasy.

I blankly stared at badly drawn sketches when suddenly heard a question:

• Huh? That's it?

• …? I'm not sure if I am following you?

• Come on, dude! Where is your tent?

“Wait, what? What is he… oh, wait. I think I know, but I hope I'm…"

• Don't tell me that you are making your way to Cuba not to expand your sexual horizons?

“Oh Gosh, I was right."

• Actually, my destination isn't Cuba, you know?

• Huh? Really? Bro, you are so boring! Don't ya know this is your lifetime opportunity to broaden your sexuality?

• What are you talking about?

• About crazy American sex, of course!

“Geesus, just who in the world allowed this pervert to board himself here?"

• You heard that America was founded by prudes, right? Prudes who left Europe, because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on…

To tell you the truth, I had little desire to listen to his story, as I myself already knew that Europeans had much more important reasons to immigrate, so I tried not to pay any attention to him and returned to painting my picture.

“Well, I guess this poor cruise ship has a two perverts now. One for hot chicks… and other for “furries". Nice"

• By the way, how old are you? – he suddenly asks.

• Wha, you think I'm not old enough for… uh… “this"?

• Who knows, who knows… he he. I think you are looking quite grown up and handsome. Let me guess… eighteen?

• Twenty, actually.

• Oh my gosh, you are missing so much! Do you know that you potentially can become a sex machine? I mean, you have a perfect age, perfect look… well… almost… and perfect name! I mean, “Leon" is like a “Lion"!

“Actually this is starting to get irritating."

• Hey, um… mind to tell me about yourself?

Seems like my acquaintance refused to give up, so I decided to play along. After all, not doing so would be rude from me.

• Well... what can I say? You already know my name. I'm geek, nerd and a weirdo. I went to school, finished it, got accepted to university, left it and now I'm working as a currier. Well, trying at least. That's about it.

• Oh, I see. Were you like, kicked out? Of university, I mean?

• Not really, I left it by myself, more like.

• What's happened that made you make you quit all of sudden? Got sick of studying?

• Kinda. I guess I just lost interest.

• Oh, I'm… I'm sorry. Did you, like, disappointed in your university?

• Not in university, no. But yes, I do get disappointed. You know, it's kind of long story, so let's not talk about it, ok?

I wasn't really happy to talk to him, but considering how limited my choices were here, I decided to speak with him more, just to kill some time.

• Well, your turn. Can you tell me something about yourself?

• Hey, glad you finally asked! Actually I got a little interesting story to tell ya!

…

…

You know, I had some sort of disbelief, as his story was way too weird to believe, but… by the end of the day, I could not do anything but to emphasize with it.

• Okay, so, you know, I have a friend, his name's Scott. He had beautiful girlfriend, but one day, she broke up with him. And you know what? All this time she was actually meeting with the other guy!

• Whoa… now that's was cruel.

• That's only just the beginning! At the same time, he, ironically, had a pen girlfriend elsewhere, so we decided to travel across the whole Europe, and when we finally found “her" – can you believe it? – it turned out to be a guy!

• Huh, really? Is he being a gay or something?

• Yeah, that's right! And I was the one who warned Scott that it was a bad idea!

• Oh my…

• Can you believe it? Man he is unlucky with girls!

• Well, at least none of them tried to stab him yet.

• If you put that way… wait wait wait…

Cooper's eye's just suddenly got wide-open. No surprise.

• What does it mean? Have you had a few bad experiences like this yourself?

• Not me, my friend. That's kind of… long story.

• Oh, I'm sorry. But what about you?

• Me? I… don't have any.

• Seriously? Oh my… are you kidding? That's a shame… But still, why?

• Because the exact reasons we both have already discussed. “And your wife will not deceive you if you haven't married". Have you heard it anywhere?

• Huh… well, you know, you might as well say “You don't have to die if you do not live", but… you know, that's kinda daunting to talk about.

• Not at all. Actually that's would save me a lot of... never mind. Also congrats.

• Huh… wait what? Congrats for what?

• Well, you just guessed the last verse of popular song of my country.

• Really? Thanks! By the way, where are you from again?

• I… That I cannot say.

• Oh my… you are really weird.

“What's wrong today with me, people? Am I indeed THAT strange?"

• “That I cannot say?" Just who is talking like that these days? Ah… never mind. Anyway, where are you going right now?

• To…

Where am I going, really? Well… to Pittsburgh, I need to deliver the goods there. And then….

• … nowhere.

• …Huh???

• Sorry… everything is complicated.

……

• Hey.

The silence was broken after couple of minutes.

• Do you want to come with us?

• Thanks, but… I'm afraid I will just get around. And besides, why me?

• Dude, we are going to have fun! How in the world you are going to get around? Also… I dunno what happened to you, but you seem kind of lost. What if you just rest first and then start to bother to your “complicated" stuff or whatever?

• That's a noble invitation, but still…

I was going to make some kind of long, boring argument, but we got… interrupted.

“Attention to all passengers. An unexpected thunderstorm has appeared at the south. Please, return to your cabins for your own safety".

I made a quick glance at south and noticed a large overcast coming in our direction. Suddenly, I just felt somewhat uneasy. But it seemed that I'm wasn't the only one.

The careless and happy expression on the Cooper's face faded all of sudden.

• Hey Coop, are you okay?

• Hm? Oh, yup, sorry. It's just… Have you heard this? There was another thunderstorm over decades ago right there, and... well… there was an incident with another ship.

• Huh, really?

• Well, at least someone told me that not so long.

“That's strange… I heard nothing of that sort".

• In any case, you just said yourself it was decades ago. Do you know how much progress technology made since that moment?

“…right?"

• Whew, yeah. I suppose. Well anyways, if you will make up your mind, just tell me, okay?

• Uh-huh. You know, I think you was way too kind with me than you should be. Too bad you are not…

• Hey, I know right? You don't have to mention it, as well as to be… what was that again?

• …nothing.

…

…

At the end of the day my Mum called me. She said that she and my family were missing me very much. Also, she wished me to have a nice time during my “Holidays" and to find a girlfriend. Then my friends called me and told me the same. Funny, everyone was optimistic and supportive with me, just like that guy I met not so long. Just like… the whole misunderstanding didn't ever happen.

“I wonder if it's a Conspiracy? Or may be a sign from God himself that I finally have to finally find my love? No, that would be way too stupid."

I told them all not to call me any time soon because of high cost of the foreign steep tariff (and to live me alone by myself for now); then I lay on the bed in my sole cabin and tried to get some rest.

“Well, I suppose that's it. Everything I have is packed in my luggage bag. I'd like to be sad to leave but… surprisingly, I really don't mind. This is my last weeks on the ship. After arrival, I'm acting according to plan.

Still… what am I hoping to find there? A fresh start? I'm trying to convince myself of that. But maybe Dr. Rosh was right, and all of this nothing but evading the issue. After all, from the point of view of normal human being nothing extraordinary have happened to me. Did someone dear to me died? No… Was I mentally broken? No… Did my family get bankrupt? No… Actually in that case I wouldn't be here in the first place. What am I running from then? Does it really worth to push this whole thing that far? Maybe I indeed need just “have some fun" with that guy and return?

No… this is avoiding the issue. I've taken my decision, and can't afford to go back. I will never back home… I can't… I don't want to".

Our ship started slightly rocking from side to side, apparently because of the storm. My thoughts ended up going around in circles, I started to feel drowsy and finally, I conked out…

…

…

The darkness was spreading out before my eyes without limits. I was in a middle of the void. It was impossible to find anything by which to judge a distance.

Suddenly, I sensed something… voices? Screams? Cries? Some kind of arguments? Is that… a siren? I couldn't tell… it all boiled down to some kind of never ending cacophony, and felt my head splitting into two.

I searched for the light, but couldn't even see the movement of my body. There was nothing below my feet. Nothing held me. And so I fell. Fell… Deeper and deeper, I sank into the void… Further and further….

No, that wasn't it… It seemed to me, rather, that the darkness was coming toward me. It was approaching with terrifying speed. I felt all the sound started to fade away as it was creeping closer and closer…

And finally… It penetrated me. There was no way for me to shake it off. It seeped into me completely… It was strange, but I could feel some kind of pleasant feeling… like I was waiting for that moment…

The blackness invaded and settles inside of me. And the it overtook me, never to part again.

“I'm becoming the darkness. The darkness is becoming me. My body becoming the darkness itself…"

The void was endless, it had no celling. Nothing existed to cover it. It was an abyss.

Everything was buried in the pitch black. The dark of the night was crushing me.

That is how…

Everyone dies.

I was dying.

I was dead.

Death.

Finally….…

…

I woke up in cold sweat desperately gasping for air.

“Whoa, now that's was something. I suppose that was happens when you get worried to much about every little thing. Or… must it be because of my mental illness? No, of course not, I overcame it already. Aren't I?"

I rose myself and dropped my legs in water. As absentminded person I forgot to take of mu shoes, so they got soaked immediately.

“Wait… in water!?"

I looked over the cabin and got frozen in shock… Water! It was coming for the broken window!

Without further hesitation I quickly put on my clothes, grabbed my bag, luggage and rushed out of the cabin.

As I mentioned before, our ship was luxurious, so before I managed to get onto the deck, I have gone through the couple of halls and staircases. The flood was everywhere… but not a single soul! Have they already left!?

As I got to the deck I was coldly greeted by a dark, stormy night. The rain was everywhere and I could hear a thunder from a distance. I saw far away silhouettes of passengers on boats. The despair consumed me: I wasn't thinking about anything anymore, I just wanted to get out of here. On their own, my legs hurried me to a place where the safe boats were supposed to be. There still was a one boat left, so I grabbed onto it slapdash together with my stuff and dropped myself onto the water. Thankfully, the ship almost sunk by that time so my landing wasn't very rough.

I used all my strength trying to keep up with the rest of the group. Suddenly, through the rain and thunder, I heard the whistling, coming in my direction. I squinted: it was Cooper! He was together with other passengers on the boat! I directed my boat towards him, and soon saw a large silhouette with two beams of light coming from it, and a strange noise. A helicopter! Does it mean we are saved? He was pretty far, but I kept rowing with hope. As I slowly calmed and little by little came closer to them, I was able to hear a third noise!

-- Mister Liooooon!

I turned to my left and was able to see a boy. The same boy I met before! He was desperately waving me and even trying to jump into the water!

Gosh, what a stupid kid! Good thing there were adults, who were preventing him from doing anything stupid. Without a second thought I changed the direction of my boat towards him… But then realized what a crucial mistake I made. To change the direction of the boat I should have stopped rowing first… which means that waves inevitably pushed me back, and I began slowly drifting back from the rest of the people…

Now both John and Cooper were waving me and soon I heard shouts and screams by the other passengers and sailors, but….

“What a stupid idiots… why they can't simply let me die ditch?"

The force of nature was too strong, and I was too weak. Eventually, I gave up. The last thing that I can remember is their silhouettes, that were slowly becoming small as my boat was slowly drifting me into the dark ocean…t games. There, I will start all over again".